


She Can’t Head the Family Business if She’s Not Family

by Book_Squirrel



Series: The Family Business [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Coffee, Crack, F/M, Fashion Week, Fluff, adrinette is endgame, freaking gabenath, love akumas, nathalie and adrien have more of a brother sister relationship, now with translations for Spanish conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-01-24 14:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 47
Words: 74,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21339784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Book_Squirrel/pseuds/Book_Squirrel
Summary: Gabriel Agreste decides to meddle when he notices that Marinette Dupain-Cheng's affections have transferred from Adrien to Luka Couffaine. Naturally, the bulk of his plan falls during the week before Fashion Week. Adrien is significantly more interested in stealing Nathalie's Coffee of Death than in engaging in a romantic relationship.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur
Series: The Family Business [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608511
Comments: 1458
Kudos: 1546





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to be completely honest: I have no idea where this fic is going other than Adrinette is endgame and Gabriel will be toeing a very distinct line in order to not irritate the people around him.

Hawkmoth ground his teeth as his connection with Akuma _du jour_ was broken. He detransformed and went upstairs. ‘Nathalie!’

She jerked awake at her desk, nearly knocking over a stack of paperwork.

‘Get me security footage from the latest Akuma fight.’ He ran a critical eye over her. ‘Ensure you fix your hair before you pick up Adrien.’

‘Yes, sir.’

Ten minutes later, Gabriel sat down with his tablet. He faintly registered Nathalie leaving to pick Adrien up from school.

He watched the fight half a dozen times. It was what happened immediately before and immediately after the battle which most interested him. He rewound the footage and frowned. 

Marinette Dupain-Cheng kept smiling up at a teenage boy carrying a guitar. The footage picked up the teal in his hair and the eyeliner surrounding his eyes.

Adrien stood a short distance away, talking with the DJ boy. Occasionally, Adrien would look over at Marinette.

Even with his limited knowledge of social skills, Gabriel knew flirting when he saw it. And Miss Dupain-Cheng exhibited an especially awkward variety of teenage flirting behaviour.

The blue-haired boy appeared enthralled by the tiny designer.

Gabriel vaguely remembered the boy’s Akumatization but couldn’t remember his name.

He froze the video on a shot of a wide-eyed Marinette smiling up at the teen boy. After staring at it for a moment, he set the tablet down and walked over to the portrait of Emilie.

‘You would know how to arrange this.’

The painting smiled back at him.

‘It was before you, but I think you would understand.’ Gabriel straightened his shoulders. ‘I will not allow another guitar-playing, eye-liner wearing hooligan to steal the perfect Agreste bride.’

He paced around the room. ‘He’s your son in every way, but the innocence…I can’t leave the company to him, Emilie. We both decided that long ago.’ He smiled. ‘You came to that decision long before I did.

‘Wish me luck, my love.’


	2. ‘Would I were sleep and peace, so sweet to rest…’

Eleven weeks and four days after our prologue, a sleepy Adrien Agreste opened his wardrobe and stared. ‘What the—?’

He smacked his face gently, wondering if he was dreaming.

He smacked his face again.

No good.

‘Plagg? Hit me.’

The Kwami looked up from his morning wheel of Camembert. ‘Why?’

‘Because there’s no way my wardrobe has changed this much overnight.’

Plagg swallowed the last of his cheese and flew over to his Chosen. He whistled. ‘That’s more like it!’

Green and black with touches of gold filled the wardrobe.

Adrien pulled out a handstitched black jacket. He sniffed the leather smell. An especially high-grade of calfskin. ‘This can’t be right.’

‘It’s in your closet.’ Plagg made loop-de-loops through the hangers.

‘Why would Father try to dress me like Chat Noir?’

‘New promo? Mid-life crisis? Trying to figure out your secret identity again? New collection for teens?’

Adrien opened his eyes, still smelling the jacket. ‘What was that middle one?’

‘Mid-life crisis. It happens to humans of approximately your father’s age.’

‘I hope it’s a mid-life crisis.’ Adrien ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up. ‘I can’t believe that’s the best option right now.’

He hunted down his clothes from the day before. They stank of day-old _Adrien _and a too-busy schedule. The wrinkling alone would have him grounded for a week, never mind a thorough inspection by Nathalie every morning for the next six months.

Instead, Adrien wrapped up in his favourite dressing gown and went downstairs.

As per the course, his father was nowhere to be found.

He did find Nathalie in the kitchen.

She stared blankly at the glowing lights on the espresso machine. She balanced a stack of paperwork under one arm. A half-full coffee cup sat on the counter.

Adrien hopped onto a stool and waited.

Nathalie poured another shot into her cup before digging through one of the lower cupboards. She pulled out a green and black energy drink and poured the contents directly into her coffee.

‘Is that even legal?’

Paper, packets, schedules, and a clipboard flew into the air, scattering all over the kitchen.

‘St. Genesius of Arles!’

They both looked through the kitchen door and listened for footsteps.

Nothing.

They sighed with relief.

Nathalie hissed, ‘Give me some warning that you’re here next time!’

‘Sorry.’ Adrien dropped to the floor and started picking up the scattered papers. ‘Was it in chronological order?’

‘Order of importance.’ She rubbed her eyes, nearly knocking her glasses off. ‘I don’t even remember what I order I had them in.’

‘Sorry.’ He set a stack on the counter and continued with picking things up. ‘Why paper?’

She sorted the different items which Adrien continued to hand up. ‘There was an attempted hacking at the company. All servers are offline until further notice.’

‘Oh.’ Adrien collected the overflowing binder and stood up. ‘Is Father—?’

Eyes fixed on the filing in front of her, Nathalie reached a hand back and fumbled for her coffee. ‘Armageddon has a new meaning today.’ She chugged half the mug and popped her neck.

Adrien stared at the cup. The energy within beckoned. ‘I thought Father forbade you to drink that this year.’ 

‘What he doesn’t know—’

‘Isn’t going to going to hurt him. I know.’ Adrien resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Sometimes Nathalie felt more like a bossy big sister than his father’s secretary. ‘But what about what it’s doing to you?’

She raised an eyebrow. ‘One: I have been successfully drinking this since longer than you have been alive. Two: We are in Hell Week, and no one is surviving if I don’t have my Resurrection Coffee. Three: Your father is the reason I’m in the boat I am and he refuses to budget in a decent bucket to bail with.’

‘Can I have some?’

‘What have I said the last three years?’

He sighed dramatically. ‘That it’s “Strong enough to wake the dead and send a nearly-dead MBA student to the emergency room”.’

She took another sip and frowned at a wrinkled work order. ‘Speaking of dead, why are you here?’

‘Oh, yeah.’ Adrien held up the jacket. ‘All of my clothes are green and black and this is only one of the leather jackets.’

The jacket earned the raising of both of Nathalie’s eyebrows. ‘He actually went through with it.’

Adrien leaned across the island countertop and sniffed the coffee.

Nathalie gently pushed him away. ‘You’re worse than a cat with a laser pointer.’

‘Please?’

‘I really don’t need the additional stress of having to explain to your father why his fifteen-year-old son had a heart attack right before Fashion Week.’

‘I’m dead, too! I survived what you gave me last year!’

She sniffed. ‘That was half-strength.’

His hands crept across the counter towards the mug. ‘Just. One. Sip!’

She grabbed her cup and cradled it. ‘No. Touching.’

Adrien whimpered and used his best kitten eyes.

Nathalie held eye contact and slowly sipped on the toxic brew. ‘Concerning your wardrobe, your father decided to air a new, darker,’ her nose twitched, ‘“edgier” look for this season’s teen collection.’ Under her breath, she muttered, ‘May God help us all.’

‘Is he having a midlife crisis?’

It almost sounded like she said, ‘I wish.’

Adrien stretched across the counter-top. Sleeeeeeeeeep. ‘Why Chat Noir’s colours? Is there going to be someone in Ladybug’s colours? And why now? Wouldn’t it make more sense—’

Nathalie chugged most of the remaining coffee before sliding the mug over to him. ‘Stop asking questions and you can have the rest.’

‘Deal!’ He took the coffee and sprinted upstairs.

‘Nice work,’ said Plagg.

‘I’m desperate.’ Adrien sipped carefully at the coffee. ‘I once saw a spoon melt from this stuff.’

Plagg sniffed the brew and recoiled, hissing and twitching his tail. ‘You may need a visit from Tikki after drinking that.’

‘I survived it last year. Made off with half a cup that she misplaced during a show. This was _after _she made me drink a slightly less potent version before shoving me onto the runway.’ He grabbed a green t-shirt from its hanger. ‘I didn’t sleep for a week!’

‘You humans and your stubborn insistence on surviving against the odds.’

‘Want some?’

Plagg turned his nose up at the proffered mug. ‘Just get dressed so I can sleep through your classes.’

‘Rub it in, why don’t you?’


	3. Love Potion #9

As soon as Adrien stepped out of his car, Nino bit back a laugh.

Beside him, Alya leaned over, the better to look around Marinette. ‘Damn, girl. Get it!’

Marinette turned around. ‘What are you—oh!’

Adrien strolled casually up to his friends, but he hunched over and angled himself behind Alya as soon as he could.

‘My dude,’ said Nino, hiding a smile. ‘Are you coming out as Chat Noir’s number one fan?’

‘I think my dad’s going through a midlife crisis.’ Adrien adjusted his shoulder bag. ‘All my regular clothes were gone and replaced with these.’ He gestured to the black skinny jeans, green shirt, and black leather jacket.

Nino nudged him with his elbow. ‘No guyliner?’

‘No! There was some left in my bathroom. Nathalie said she’d let it slide today.’

Alya dug a bottle of water from her bag and held it out to Marinette. ‘Thirsty, much?’

Marinette’s mouth slammed shut as her face turned crimson. She took the water. ‘_Thanks, bestie_.’

‘Always glad to help.’ Alya gave a cheeky wink.

Adrien looked around. ‘Can we go inside? It’s really awkward having everyone stare at me’

‘Come along, your Royal Hotness,’ said Nino with a bow.

Once inside the classroom, Nino grabbed a chair and straddled it. He set one arm across the back and said, ‘So, your father’s going through a midlife crisis.’

Adrien dropped into his chair and buried his face in his arms.

‘So,’ said Alya, sitting on the desk, ‘no one ever told you life was gonna be this way.’

Mylene, Ivan, Kim, and Nino all clapped four times.

Adrien groaned.

Alya leaned in by his ear. Close enough to make it tickle, she whispered, ‘Say it. We know you want to.’

He twisted his head enough to glare at her. ‘We’re at school, and my father’s dressing me like the BadBoy™ from a Disney Channel show. No.’

‘Come on, dude,’ Nino clapped him on the shoulder, ‘it’s not so bad. I mean, the jacket’s amazing.’

‘Cool jacket.’

They looked up and saw a blushing Juleka studying the jacket. She stammered, ‘I mean, the stitching is really good.’

‘Thanks, Juleka,’ said Adrien.

‘You’re Couffaine approved,’ said Alya.

Juleka said, ‘Looks a little like something my brother wore last year.’

Adrien’s ears turned crimson. ‘Your brother’s super cool and awesome. And his songs—’

He grabbed his phone and pulled up his schedule. ‘Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu—’

Ms Bustier walked into the class. ‘Good morning, everyone. Adrien, please put your phone away.’

‘Guitar lessons. I have _guitar lessons_, Plagg!’

‘I thought you wanted to take guitar.’

‘One, I wanted to learn bass. Two, he’s turning me into Luka Couffaine! He’s giving me a style that’s a rip-off of someone else’s! But more expensive!’

Plagg closed his eyes and savoured a wedge of cheese.

‘Do you know what this means?’

The Kwami swallowed, eyes still closed. ‘Your father is allowing you to experience a different brand of teenagerhood?’

Adrien groaned and banged his head against the bathroom wall. ‘Why couldn’t it be a midlife crisis?’

His phone chimed, Nathalie alerting him to her ETA of three minutes.

He could afford another ninety seconds of self-indulgent ranting. ‘Why would he want me to look like Luka? He’s shown zero interest or respect for the family even when Kitty Section won that competition.’

The bathroom door flew open and half a dozen boys from a lower grade entered.

Adrien escaped and sprinted to the front steps of the school. The sooner Nathalie picked him up, the better. Even if it was for a promotional event.

Something exploded inside the school. Screaming ensued.

Adrien groaned and turned around to see black smoke billowing from the gymnasium.

If it was another Love Akuma, then fuck Hawkmoth from here to Jupiter.

Marinette ran through the courtyard only to be doused in a black sludge. She slumped to the ground.

As Adrien ran to his very good friend, her skin seemed to absorb the inky black substance.

He knelt and rolled her over. ‘Marinette? Are you okay?

She blinked her eyes open and stared at him. Her eyes were dilated to the extreme. ‘Adrrrrrrien,’ she trilled, sitting up.

It was another Love Akuma.

Fuck Hawkmoth to Alpha Centauri and back again.

She giggled and wrapped her arms around his waist, her head pressed to his chest. ‘Mm, I love how you smell. The leather mixes nicely with your cologne.’

He squeaked, the sort of squeak that would have been difficult enough even before puberty. ‘T-t-thanks?’

She rubbed her face against his shirt. ‘I love this shirt on you.’

‘Th-that’s nice, Mar.’

‘And this jacket,’ she inhaled deeply, ‘it just smells soooo purr-fect.’

‘R-r-rea-really?’

‘But do you know where I would really love to see it?’ She smiled sweetly.

‘Where?’

She whispered in his ear, ‘On my floor, right next to your—’

A sharp bite from Plagg beat the rising hormones back to the appropriate place.

Adrien jumped to his feet and pulled Marinette to a standing position. One arm wrapped around her waist to support her, he said, ‘Let’s sit here until Chat Noir and Ladybug can defeat the Akuma.’

‘Mm.’ She lay her head on his shoulder and stroked the stitching on his jacket. ‘I hope they don’t hurry.’

He couldn’t argue as the hormones flooded back, stronger than ever. She fit perfectly in his arms and smelled so amazing. He wondered what it would be like to sleep curled up next to her—

Plagg poked his head out from the jacket. ‘Do I need to bite you again?’

‘I can’t leave her here! What if the Akuma comes this way?’

‘Come on, Tom Kitten! Stop the Akuma; save Paris.’

When Adrien didn’t move, Plagg hovered in front of Adrien’s nose. ‘You’re doing a lot of work for “just a friend”.’

‘She’s a very good friend!’

Plagg gave him a withering look. ‘Put her somewhere safe. Paris is supposed to be the City of Love, not Lust, not that many can tell the difference.’

‘Will she be okay?’

‘Just transform and—’ Plagg caught sight of various love-struck couples in the courtyard. ‘I really hate humanity sometimes.’

‘Plagg, just another minute.’

The Kwami bared his teeth and flew towards Adrien’s wrist.

‘Plagg, claws out!’

Chat Noir hid Marinette in an alcove. ‘Sorry, it was in self-defence.’

He ran after the Akuma.

This one looked little better than a moving pile of black sludge. Not your standard Hawkmoth branded eye-sore.

‘What kind of Akuma is this?’

‘That’s not the Akuma.’

Chat Noir dodged a wave of black sludge. As he turned around, a quasi-familiar sight caught his eye. ‘I knew you wouldn’t disappoint!’

There was the standard Hawkmoth branded eye-sore.

Seriously, was Hawkmoth colour blind?

The woman wore sharply contrasting shades of pink, red, and blue. ‘Take your medicine, dearie! You’ll feel better!’

‘Thanks, but I’m on a strict diet.’ Chat Noir tried to pose but had to run.

‘Where’s your little Bugaboo?’ said the Akuma. ‘Shouldn’t she be here by now?’

The black sludge thing crawled closer to Chat Noir.

‘What exactly is this supposed to be?’

‘Love Potion #9. Don’t you know your classic rock?’

Chat Noir jumped onto a roof. Things were so much easier when Ladybug made the plans.

Not that he was dumb; just out of practice.

‘A lucky charm would be great right now.’ He bobbed his head, trying to remember the words to the song.

The black sludge charged at him.

He chanted as he dodged the attacks, ‘“I held my nose, I closed my eyes…”’

A little bit of black oozed onto his hair.

‘Gross. It smells—“It smelled like turpentine, it looked like India ink”.’ His eyes widened and his head whipped about.

There! A bottle glinted in the Akuma’s hand!

He sprinted directly towards the Akuma. ‘Cataclysm!’

The bottle shattered, freeing the butterfly within.

Chat Noir ran and caught the butterfly. ‘All right, Ladybug. Whenever you can get here, that’d be great.’

Ladybug swung in a minute later. She landed wrong and rolled across the rooftop, stopping by his feet. She stood up with a groan.

‘Get caught in traffic, My Lady?’

She grunted and purified the butterfly. As soon as the ladybugs washed the city, she relaxed, returning to her usual self.

Ladybug put her yoyo on her waist. ‘Sorry about the delay. I got caught in one of the love things.’

Chat Noir smiled at her. ‘As long as you’re okay and able to cleanse the Akuma, you’re all right with me, Bug.’ He looked up at the sky. ‘This is, what, the eighth love-themed Akuma now?’

‘Ninth,’ she said. ‘Nine in three months.’ She glared at the horizon. ‘Have you noticed him targeting anyone?’

‘My Lady, due to personal reasons, I’m happy to notice Akumas blowing up buildings at this point.’

‘Fair. How much longer until you can sleep again?’

Chat Noir noticed a dark grey car pull up in front of the school. He gulped. ‘I’ll get the Deep Sleep if I don’t leave right now. Until next time!’

Less than a minute later, Adrien sprinted out of an empty classroom, through the school, and dove into the car. He slammed the door shut before letting out a deep breath.

Nathalie looked up from her paperwork. ‘Interesting day?’

‘Everyone kept asking why I changed my look so much.’ He slouched in his seat, bookbag at his feet.

‘Did you tell them it was promotional material?’

His head lolled to look at her. ‘You don’t seriously believe that Marketing convinced Father that teens prefer grunge to a clean-scrubbed look?’

‘And if they did?’

‘They didn’t. You haven’t worn your power heels since last quarter.’

‘They’ve been at the cobblers.’

‘For over three months?’

She gave him a warning glance.

‘Fine.’


	4. ‘[She’s] Gone to Plaid!’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Space Balls reference wrote itself.

After six hours of gruelling preparation for Fashion Week, Adrien was too tired to eat.

‘I mean,’ he said as he undressed for the night, ‘if we actually did something, it wouldn’t be so painful. But just sitting and standing around while waiting for people to make up their minds about how the—’ He yawned, jaw popping from the motion.

Plagg inhaled a wedge of cheese. ‘Did they even need you to be there?’

‘If I was any other model, probably not. As my father’s son…’ Adrien washed his face and considered skipping his shower for the night.

The good news: He had been able to complete most of his homework while set designers and technicians argued over which exact shade of blue light to use while he wore the showstopper.

The bad news. He groaned. Everything else was bad news.

Four minutes later, a semi-damp Adrien fell into bed.

Plagg curled up on the second pillow. ‘I could just Cataclysm any Akumas which might venture out in the night.’

Adrien reached over and cupped a hand over his Kwami. ‘You’re all right…’

While deep within the embrace of Morpheus, Adrien thought he heard his alarm at one point.

A muffled crash.

Blessed silence. 

Just a dream.

The banging of a fist on the bedroom door managed what the alarm clock failed: It woke him up.

‘Hwa?’

The door opened to admit his bodyguard. The guard pointed at where the alarm clock should be and frowned.

Adrien blinked. The clock lay on the floor. The wires looked like they had been chewed. ‘No’gin.’

The guard grunted.

Nothing else registered until Adrien stumbled down the stairs.

Nathalie shoved two containers into his hands.

He squinted at the items. ‘Whazzis?’

‘This never happened.’ Nathalie clicked her tongue and pulled an eye pencil from her pocket. ‘Hold still.’

Adrien stared at the ceiling as she made quick, practiced motions.

‘There.’ She gave a brisk nod and disappeared into the depths of the house.

Adrien nodded once, twice, before returning his attention to the containers. One felt cold and looked like a protein shake. The other was a shiny travel mug.

He sniffed the contents and instantly felt ready to take on half a dozen Akumas.

Simultaneously.

While composing an epic love ballad for Ladybug for Piano and Harp in F# Major, the lyrics written in homage to a Spenserian Sonnet.

‘Thank you, Nathalie!’

In the car, he sipped on the shake and texted her his professions of undying gratitude. ‘_You are angel on earth, the most wonderful of executive assistants, sent to ensure my continued presence on this earth. My skin is clear, my crops watered, and all is well thanks to your efforts. My family owes you a debt they can never repay, one which shall be passed on to your descendants into the misty future…_’

A new message from Nathalie interrupted the flow of text. ‘_What did I say?_’

He took a gulp of coffee before continuing the praise.

His brain woke up for real.

Adrien grinned and switched from long, flowing sentences to quick, short messages, none of them a complete thought until you read all ten together.

His father would be going mental by the nonstop chirping of her text alert by now.

‘_I’m never giving you coffee again_.’

Adrien texted a shocked cat emoji followed shortly by a sobbing cat emoji. He grinned. She detested emojis. They were the one guaranteed way to get her attention short of messing with her filing system.

Bullying her into watching The Emoji Movie had been almost worth the loss of braincells.

A message bubble popped up from Nathalie. ‘_You’re very welcome. Your father says to please stop texting.’ _

_‘Enjoy the rest of your day! *blue heart, winky face, angel, cat with hearts for eyes*’_

He grinned and sipped the coffee. Today was looking infinitely better already.

Nino ran up to the car. ‘Dude! Do not go in there until right as the teacher gets in!’

‘Why? What’s wrong?’ Adrien stretched, feeling a new man after Resurrection Coffee.

‘All I know is that eyeliner and your name were mentioned in close succession.’

They walked up the steps to the building. ‘It’s just makeup.’

‘Which you’re already wearing, I know. It’s not the makeup; it’s the girls.’

‘What about them?’

Nino shook his head. ‘You really are an innocent.’

‘About what? Girls? Give me a break, Nino. I’ve been around women all my life.’ Adrien strode into the classroom.

‘Be it on your own head.’ Nino adjusted his cap and followed his friend in.

Adrien saw the cluster of girls by Marinette and Alya’s desk. ‘Morning.’

‘Damn it!’ said Alya. ‘You wore it today.’

Alix stuck an eyeliner pencil behind her ear. ‘And here I was all prepared to give him smoky eyes to rival Jagged’s!’

She marched up to Adrien and jammed a finger into his chest. ‘You have a lot to answer for, Agreste.’

He reached a shaky hand towards the pencil.

Alix ducked away. ‘What’s got you so jittery?’

‘This morning’s coffee,’ said Adrien, circling and trying to catch the brand of makeup.

‘Must be some sort of monster to make you that jumpy.’

Adrien frowned and looked at it. ‘I think it requires an energy drink called Monster.’

Nathaniel looked up from his tablet. ‘Where did you find Monster here?’

‘Oh, I—’

The artist slammed his hands on the desk. ‘Where did you find it?’

Adrien cradled the travel mug to his chest. ‘It’s not mine! Nathalie has her own arrangements.’

‘Oh.’ Nathaniel sat down and hid behind his tablet. ‘She’s scary.’

Adrien set his travel mug on the nearest desk. ‘Were you going to apply eyeliner?’

Rose said, ‘Juleka said your outfit needs it!’

Alya snorted. ‘Trust me; it was a universal consensus.’

‘Even Marinette managed to string together a complete sentence concerning it.’ Alix spun the pencil in her hand. ‘How did you manage to apply it so smoothly if your hands are so jittery?’

‘Nathalie, right?’ said Nino. ‘I mean, it’s that or your old man.’

Marinette sprinted into class, a shiny travel mug in hand. She stopped and gaped at Adrien.

Nino rescued the shiny travel mug from her hand and set it on his desk.

Adrien waved to Marinette. ‘Hey.’

‘Whoa,’ she whispered, eyes staring unblinkingly.

The students nudged each other as a blush settled on Adrien’s features. A few bills were discreetly passed from one hand to another.

‘Uh—um—h-hey.’ He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it just right.

Marinette swayed.

Nino edged a little closer, ready to catch his friend should she actually manage to faint.

‘Achoo!’

Every head whipped to the desk in the back of the classroom.

‘Sorry,’ whispered Mylene.

Adrien blushed and sat down quickly. He grabbed a travel mug from the desk and held it tightly in his hands.

‘Careful how you hold that, Agreste,’ said Alix.

‘Wouldn’t want him to explode everywhere,’ said Max.

The class burst into laughter.

Adrien blushed harder and wondered if he could go home sick.

Ms Bustier walked into the classroom. ‘Good morning, everyone!’

Nino pinched Marinette’s arm.

‘Ouch!’

‘Get to your seat.’

She batted at his hat, grabbed a travel mug from the desk, and plopped down into her chair.

Ms Bustier walked through the classroom, collecting everyone’s homework.

Adrien sipped from his mug and frowned.

‘What’s wrong?’ said Nino.

‘This is hot chocolate.’

‘Yeah?’

A sense of dread bubbled up in Adrien’s chest. ‘It’s supposed to be coffee.’

‘I think you’ve levelled up, the—ow!’

Adrien gripped Nino’s arm frantically. ‘You don’t understand! It’s Nathalie’s special brew.’

Nino blinked. ‘I don’t get it.’

‘The only other person with a travel mug is—’

Adrien whipped his head over his shoulder as Marinette chugged the remains of the travel mug. ‘No!’

‘Adrien,’ said Ms Bustier. ‘Is everything—’

Marinette’s eyes bugged. She twitched and jumped to her feet. ‘Miss, may I go to the nurse’s office?’

‘We’re just starting class,’ said Ms Bustier. ‘Is it—’

‘I have a really bad caffeine sensitivity—’

Adrien jumped to his feet. ‘It’s not just caffeine. It’s six espresso shots and-and—a secret family ingredient!’

Marinette raised a shaking finger and pointed it at him. ‘This is your fault!’

‘I know, but you’re going to want the hospital if you have a caffeine sensitivity!’

‘I don’t need you to boss me around!’

Everyone stared before erupting into chaos.

Max immediately started entering calculations.

‘Pay up! She’s speaking in full sentences!’ shouted Alya.

‘…And if her anger and the caffeine fuel each other…’

‘It’s drug induced!’ shouted Alix.

Kim said, ‘Performance enhancement does not count in this wager!’

‘Children!’ shouted Ms Bustier. ‘Please!’

‘The wager was for a date!’

‘Wrong wager!’

‘…probability of exceeding 600 words per minute!’ Max looked up and grinned.

An explosion outside rattled the windows.

Everyone went dead silent.

Marinette continued to shake with caffeine and the rage of a thousand Kwamis. 

Adrien wondered how long it would take to flee the country and assume a new identity.


	5. A Most Brewtiful and Procaffeinated Akuma Battle

Praise the Kwamis, it was not a love-themed Akuma.

Mostly.

A fifteen-metre tall lollipop with arms and legs strode through the city. It broke off different pieces of its own decoration and threw them.

The pieces turned into gum and stuck people together.

Ladybug danced in place, trying to focus but too full of energy to resemble her normal self in any matter.

Chat Noir dropped from the nearest rooftop and onto the pavement. ‘Afternoon, My Lady.’

‘HeyChat!Isn’tthisgreat?IthinktheAkuma’sintheirchoker!’

‘What did you say? Did you inhale helium?’

‘Toomuchcoffee!Notimetoexplain!Followmylead!GetreadytoCataclym!LuckyCharm!’ Ladybug sprinted towards the Akuma.

A boom echoed throughout the city.

Chat Noir wasn’t sure, but that noise might have been a sonic boom. ‘Uh…’

He gaped as his strong, amazing, competent Lady danced on, around, and over the Akuma.

‘HurryupKitty!You’remissingallthefun!’

Something clicked in Chat Noir’s brain. He ran after Ladybug, dodging the Akuma’s long arms and legs.

The Akuma’s foot landed on a car, squishing it and triggering the alarms for every car in a three-block radius.

The lollipop (which seemed to have no discernible features) stopped.

‘It’s noticed us!’ Chat Noir scaled the closest building and ran along the roof.

Ladybug was little better than a red and black streak as she tangled her yoyo around the Akuma.

The Akuma reached over its shoulder and caught her.

‘Ladybug!’ yelled Chat Noir. 

‘Wheeeeeee!’ She flew head-over-heels across the city.

Chat Noir tensed, ready to run after her.

She threw her yoyo around a chimney and crashed through a civilian’s window.

The lollipop monster carried on.

Using his staff, Chat Noir blocked the avenue.

The Akuma simply limboed underneath.

While in the precarious and impressive position, Ladybug bounded out of the apartment and down to the street.

‘Greatwork!’ She shot around and tied the Akuma's ankles and wrists together.

She held the strings together. ‘Whatareyouwaitingforkitten? Cata-CLEEEESmay!’

He stared. ‘What is happening?’

‘Coffee!’

‘Must be some coffee. Cataclysm!’

He touched his hand to the choker surrounding the Akuma’s neck.

It crumbled, and a butterfly flew out.

Ladybug caught the butterfly and purified it. ‘Yeah, baby!’

The white butterfly floated past Chat Noir’s face. He turned and studied Ladybug’s face. ‘Should I be concerned for you right now?’

‘MiraculousLadybug!’ As soon as the ladybugs washed over the city, she fell to her knees, ashen faced.

Chat Noir put a hand on her shoulder. ‘Do you need help?’

A fine film of sweat covered her face. She nodded, eyes fixed on the ground. ‘Yes, please.’

She put her hand in his and tried to stand. She sagged against him, teeth chattering from her shaking.

‘It’s okay, Ladybug.’ Chat Noir tightened his grip around her. ‘I’ve got you.’

In her normal voice, she said, ‘Can you get me to the school Hawkmoth attacks all the time? I can get home from there.’

‘As you wish.’

He carried her to the school rooftop. ‘Are you sure you’ll be okay?’

She nodded, wrapping her arms around herself. ‘It’s something that has to be taken care of as my civilian self.’

Chat Noir’s ring beeped. ‘Call or text to let me know you’re okay?’

‘Absolutely.’ She waved to him before disappearing on the other side of the school.

He waited until another pawprint disappeared to detransform.

Plagg groaned. ‘What even was that?’

‘I’ve never seen an Akuma without a face.’

‘Not that! Ladybug.’ Plagg took the proffered cheese. ‘Tikki’s supposed to be able to help filter stuff like that out when transformed.’

‘It’s just coffee.’ Adrien’s eyes grew wide. ‘Marinette! Her coffee allergy’

Plagg choked and wheezed, spewing cheese everywhere.

Adrien said, ‘She has—I left her all alone!’

He shoved Plagg (cheese and all) beneath his leather jacket and bolted to the classroom.

His hands grabbed the doorframe of the classroom.

Everyone looked up as his shoes squeaked loudly.

Marinette sat on Ms Bustier’s desk, half-hidden by the paramedics testing her vitals. ‘…I think it was the Miraculous Ladybug. Once it happened, I was feeling fine again.’

‘You lucked out big time,’ said a voice in the vicinity of Adrien’s elbow.

He jumped. ‘Is she okay?’

‘Thanks to Ladybug.’ Alix stood with her hands on her hips.

‘Yeah, thanks for Ladybug.’ He rubbed the back of his neck.

One of the paramedics said, ‘She seems fine, but definitely call if something happens again.’

‘Thank you for your help,’ said Ms Bustier. ‘Marinette, do you feel well enough to stay or would you like to call your parents and go home?’

‘I feel fine, Ms Bustier,’ said Marinette.

Frankly, Adrien thought she looked paler than usual.

She went to her seat.

Alix bumped Adrien with her elbow. ‘Try not to get romance all over the classroom when you do your Prince Charming spiel.’

‘What are you talking about? Everyone knows I’m in love with Ladybug.’

The pink-haired girl rolled her eyes and jogged back to her seat.

Adrien took his seat.

Nino whispered, ‘You’re lucky she’s okay.’

‘Because if she wasn’t everyone would beat me to a pulp?’

‘Sadly, my dude, more or less. More or less.’

Adrien pulled up his tablet and tried to focus on the lesson.

He spent the entire class painfully aware of Marinette’s ragged breathing.

To his left, Nino kept checking on Marinette. Based on the set of his jaw, Nino was getting closer to pulling the ‘I’ll kill you’ look from The Office.

The silver travel mug sat on the corner of his desk.

When the bell rang, he turned to Marinette and held it out. ‘I think this is yours.’

She blushed. ‘Th-th-thanks.’ She took the mug and handed over an almost identical one.

‘I’m sorry I almost got you killed,’ he blurted out.

Marinette’s mouth formed a perfect O.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I, uh, should have paid more attention. I’m really sorry.’

‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘Um, it’s not something I usually talk about. There’s no way you could have known.’

‘Yeah, but—ugh!’ He straightened his jacket and squared his shoulders. ‘I’m really sorry and would like to make it up to you. Uh, assuming I can get permission, would you please join me for-for—for an evening at this week’s preparations for Fashion Week?’

‘Really?’ Marinette’s eyes lit up.

‘It’ll be long and probably kind of boring, but you’ll get to meet some people and—’

‘I would love to!’ The colour returned to her cheeks. 

Adrien’s cheeks turned warm. Her excitement made her all too attractive. ‘Aw-awesome. I’ll ask for permission and let you know.’

Marinette squealed and bounced out of the classroom.

Adrien’s sigh was equal parts relief and contentment. Now, to convince Nathalie to let Marinette accompany him this week as well as convince Nathalie to make sure his father didn’t learn about it.

From the other side of the classroom, Nino and Alix watched their friends leave.

They shook their heads.

‘I told him to not get charm everywhere,’ said Alix.

‘It’s Adrien,’ said Nino. ‘He wouldn’t know “subtle” if it danced in eight-inch heels while wearing a light-up Ladybug romper.’

Alix tilted her head. ‘Come again?’

‘You’ll know at next week’s talent show.’

‘Oh, joy.’


	6. ‘Agony! Far More Painful Than Yours!’

The apartment door flew open to admit one Luka Couffaine.

Nathaniel jumped, dropping his stylus.

It rolled across the floor and under a bookcase.

‘I’m doomed.’ Luka threw himself on the couch and stared at the ceiling.

‘The fuck?’ whispered Nathaniel. He shook his head and felt beneath the bookcase for his stylus.

‘I think I’m in love with Marinette.’

Nathaniel pulled the stylus and half an ounce of dust from beneath the bookcase. ‘Congratulations,’ he said flatly. ‘You and the rest of Paris.’

‘You think I haven’t noticed? If marriage dowries were still a thing, her parents would be able to retire just from a single contract.’

‘Ri-ight.’ Nathaniel settled in his desk chair and returned to his work.

Luka stared at the ceiling. ‘I mean, who doesn’t like Marinette?’

‘Literally no one.’ Nathaniel scratched his head with the stylus. Something about the shading wasn’t quite right…

‘She’s smart, she’s clever, she’s a fighter and would look absolutely adorable in pink hair—’

Nathaniel’s hand jumped. His stylus hit the ‘delete’ button.

‘—except that Juleka already has that colour picked out Rose and it would be weird for our girlfriends to have the same colour.’

Nathaniel threw down his stylus and rubbed his eyes. ‘How did you even get into my house?’

‘Your grandma let me in—And she’s still hung up on Adrien.’ Luka frowned. ‘I think she is. Maybe she isn’t? Maybe I have a chance!’

He sat up, grinning. ‘I have a chance with Marinette!’

‘Brilliant.’

Luka’s joy disappeared. ‘But Adrien’s started dressing in Bad Boy Chic. Green and black, even! Just like Chat Noir! Juleka showed me the pictures. Just the one jacket would cost the entire houseboat!’ He collapsed back onto the couch. ‘How can I compete with that?’

Nathaniel buried his face in his arms.

‘Even if I compose the best song in the world, I’m never going to be able to compare with a literal ray of sunshine. Ugh! Life sucks!

‘I’m just going to have to wait for her to indicate her interest. That’ll be fine. I can wait.’ Luka cracked his knuckles. ‘It’s not like we’re old enough to get married anyways. I know I have a lot of growing up to do. We both do. And her dad is probably able to break me with one hand!’

He threw an arm over his eyes. ‘Who knows what her mom or—dear Lord! Her grandma!—could do to me! I’m doomed, Nathaniel, dooooo—’

A black butterfly melded into the necklace around Luka’s neck.

‘Prince Agony,’ said Hawkmoth’s voice, ‘my name is Hawkmoth. You believe that your love is out of your reach. I can help you. In exchange—’

‘Thank but I’m pretty sure the way to Marinette’s heart is not by way of being an Akuma.’

‘Marinette? Your love is named Marinette?’

‘Yeah, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the girl all of Paris is in love with.’

The butterfly immediately left the necklace.

Luka blinked. ‘What just happened?’

‘I think you pissed off Hawkmoth.’ Nathaniel watched the butterfly float out of his room. ‘It seemed like the regular deal until you mentioned Marinette.’

‘I did?’

‘You’ve got Marinette on the brain.’ Nathaniel spun back to his tablet. ‘A pity it’s such a good look on everyone.’

‘Wait.’ Luka sat up. ‘Hawkmoth was all for Akumatizing me until I mentioned being in love with Marinette?’

‘More or less.’

Luka’s jaw relaxed. ‘That doesn’t make sense…unless Hawkmoth is in love with Marinette?’

Nathaniel spun around in his chair and stared, open-mouthed. ‘Oh, my God. Hawkmoth is in love with Marinette.’

They stared at each other, realising what this meant.

Luka blinked. ‘I hope he knows how long the line is.’

Nathaniel giggled. ‘And that Chloe’s been clawing her way to the front since nursery school.’

Luka laughed.

‘Chloe may actually be able to defeat Hawkmoth! The poor bastard doesn’t stand a chance!’ Nathaniel fell out of his chair from laughing.

The neighbours below pounded on their ceiling in complaint.

Gabriel emerged from his lair, growling and ranting to himself.

Nathalie kept her eyes on the computer screen.

‘…He _dares _to cast his affections on Miss Dupain-Cheng! That punk rocker! A nobody!’

‘His mother was a part of Jagged Stone’s band,’ said Nathalie.

Gabriel pointed at her. ‘Not a word.’

She held up the phone. ‘M. Lefévre has been waiting nearly twenty minutes to speak with you. I believe it’s board business.’

‘Of course, it’s board business! He runs the board!’ Gabriel grabbed the phone and marched out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

Nooroo fluttered in the middle of the room. 

What Nathalie wanted to do was lie down and close her eyes for twenty minutes. What she did was brew the new pot of coffee which Mr Agreste would want the minute he managed to escape the call.

The Butterfly Kwami followed her, exploring the different kitchen cupboards.

Once she returned to the office, Gabriel said, ‘There you are.’

He dropped the phone on her desk and took the freshly poured cup from her hand.

‘Anything else, sir?’

He looked suspiciously at the cup before stalking over to the painting of Emilie. ‘See that no one disturbs me until six.’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Nooroo, with me.’

‘Yes, Master.’

Gabriel pressed the necessary buttons and disappeared to <strike>sulk</strike> <strike>pout</strike> process recent events.

Nooroo fluttered in his wake.

Nathalie rubbed her hands in excitement. Lunchtime. 

Her phone rang.

Never mind.

She picked up the phone.

Adrien’s picture smiled at her.

She hit the green button. ‘Sancoeur.’

‘Hi,’ said Adrien in the painfully cheerful tone which always meant more work for her. ‘How many favours do I owe you?’

‘What have you done now?’

‘Wellll…’

Nathalie removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘What did you do?’

‘My friend Marinette—you remember Marinette Dupain-Cheng? She won Father’s hat contest and is our class president and one of the cutest girls in school and wants to be a fashion designer?’

‘How could I forget her. You never stop talking about her friendship.’

‘She’s such a great friend.’

Nathalie’s fingers clicked on her desk. ‘Adrien?’

He sighed heavily. ‘Our travel mugs got mixed up.’

_Shit._

Nathalie could feel the blood draining from her face.

‘She’s fine, but started to go into some sort of shock—’

_Shit. _

Nathalie doubled over and concentrated on her breathing.

In a rush, Adrien finished the story. ‘…So’s she’s okay now thanks to Ladybug, but I feel really guilty and wanted to make it up to her.’

‘Yeah, absolutely,’ said Nathalie in an airy tone that she did not at all feel. The marble floor felt good on her forehead. ‘What are you wanting to do for her?’

‘Here’s the bad part: I asked her to come with me to one of the rehearsals for Fashion Week.’

‘That’s wonderful, Adrien. She will appreciate that.’

‘Are you okay? You sound out of breath.’

‘I’m fine. It’s been a busy day. Just go ahead and ask your friend out and I’ll make sure her backstage pass and any NDA’s are ready for her to sign when she visits.’

Adrien yelped. ‘Thank you so much! You’re the best. I’ll go ask her right now before fencing practice. See you tonight!’

He hung up.

Nathalie lay on the floor for several minutes, waiting for her heart to stop pounding.

Amazing how one phone call could take ten years off your life. 


	7. 'The Rumours Only Grow...'

Adrien braced himself before approaching Marinette’s locker. ‘Hi.’

She flailed and banged her head on the locker shelf. ‘Horning! Mornigh!’ She gripped the edge of the locker door. ‘Hi.’

He laughed. ‘Rough day?’

‘Just a little, but it’s perfect now you’re here! Uh, I mean—’

‘Do you mind if I steal that and pitch it to the perfume ad campaign?’

Marinette turned a brilliant shade of red. ‘Really?’

‘Maybe. Father wants me to get more involved with the business. Building a family dynasty and all that, y’know?’

‘Not really, but sure.’

‘Right.’ He looked at the tips of his shoes. ‘Small problem about this Friday.’

‘Uh-huh?’

‘I’m really sorry.’ He looked back up into her eyes. ‘I couldn’t get permission for you to come to the last bit of preparation before Fashion Week starts.’

‘Oh,’ said Marinette. ‘That’s okay. I mean—’

‘Would going to the opening night gala be okay?’

Marinette froze, eyes wide, fists clenched, mouth the tiniest of pin pricks.

Adrien slowly became aware of a high-pitched noise slowly growing louder.

Alix strolled past the two and discreetly pinched Marinette.

‘Ouch!’ Marinette glared at Alix.

Alix gave her a thumbs up and continued walking.

Adrien said, ‘I’m sorry if going to the gala isn’t as interesting—’

‘I absolutely would love to go!’ Marinette bounced on her toes. ‘Thank you so much!’

‘Awesome.’ Adrien pulled a thick file from his schoolbag and handed it over. ‘Nathalie said to give this to you. It’s a description of the evening along with a dress code and the guest list. We’ll pick you up, so you don’t have to worry about tickets or anything.’

Marinette squealed. ‘Thank you so much! This is such a dream come true!’

‘Oh! Almost forgot. Nathalie said to send her your measurements by tonight so they can have a dress ready for you.’

Marinette’s eyes were the size of saucers by now. ‘Really? H-how?’

‘I owe it to you. I mean, I almost put you in hospital.’

‘Please don’t feel bad about that. It was an accident.’ A twinkle appeared in her eye. ‘But I will make sure to milk this apology for all that it’s worth!’

They walked out of the school together, to the infinite fascination of their classmates.

A light drizzle coated the city.

Adrien’s bodyguard waited by the car.

‘I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,’ said Adrien.

‘You, too,’ she sighed.

‘If you have any questions, text or call me.’

‘I will!’ Her eyes were shiny. ‘I’m sure I’ll have so many questions.’

‘Marinette!’

They turned and saw Luka running up to them. The soft guitar case bumped on his back. ‘Sorry, but I wanted to catch you before you left.’

‘I think Juleka is still talking with Rose,’ said Marinette.

‘Doesn’t matter.’ Luka took a deep breath. ‘You’re never going to believe what I found out.’

Nathaniel stepped out of the school, saw Luka, and immediately walked the other way.

‘Nathaniel!’ said Luka. ‘You’ve got to back me up on this.’

‘No, I don’t!’ said the artist.

‘But you’re the only one who knows what actually happened!’

Nathaniel ran straight into Juleka and Rose. ‘Okay, maybe I do.’

He dragged his feet over to his friends. ‘Long, embarrassing story short: Hawkmoth is in love with Marinette.’

Juleka mumbled, ‘I hope he understands the length of the queue.’

Rose giggled. 

Marinette’s mouth dropped open. ‘How?’

Adrien placed a hand on Marinette’s shoulder.

Luka stared at Adrien’s hand and Marinette’s ignorance of the hand’s placement.

Nathaniel said, ‘Luka was ranting about—ow!’ He gave Luka a dirty look and rubbed his now sore foot against his leg. ‘_Someone_ we know was ranting about being in love with Marinette. Hawkmoth tried to Akumatize them but recalled the butterfly as soon as _this person_ said that being an Akuma wasn’t the best way to Marinette’s heart.’

The artist took a deep breath and looked at his feet. ‘In hindsight, this person is a lot more mature than I am.’

Marinette said, ‘Don’t feel badly. We don’t know of anyone who’s been able to resist Hawkmoth’s offer, so this person must be especially wise and level-headed to resist Hawkmoth.’

Nathaniel side-eyed Luka. ‘Yeah, level-headed. That’s it.’

Luka’s cheeks pinked. ‘We wanted to make sure you know that Hawkmoth is in love with you. It was only after hearing that-that—this person was in love with you that he recalled the butterfly.’

‘Seriously? Hawkmoth in love with me?’ Marinette laughed until she nearly cried. ‘What’s next? Hawkmoth is secretly pining for Ladybug?’

‘Or Chat Noir,’ said Nathaniel.

Marinette laughed even harder. ‘Oh, my gosh! Alya is going to love this! I have to tell her. See you on Saturday, Luka!’

The Agreste car honked.

Adrien waved goodbye to the other boys. His fists clenched more and more tightly as he drew closer to home. ‘Hawkmoth in love with Marinette?’

As soon as the car stopped, he burst into the house and stormed around his room.

‘Hawkmoth is in love with her. Hawkmoth is in love with her? He’s, like, a hundred years old! They’ve never even met!’

Plagg threw a piece of cheese into the air and caught it with his mouth. ‘Maybe they met in his civilian form.’

Adrien rubbed his eyes, smearing his eyeliner. ‘That doesn’t change the fact that he’s absolutely ancient!’

‘You sure are worried about your nemesis possibly fancying a good friend.’

‘Of course I do! What if Hawkmoth comes after her? What if he’s even older than we think? The police and her parents won’t be able to keep her safe.’

Plagg flopped onto his back. ‘Way to go with the worst possible scenario.’

The doorknob rattled.

Plagg dove beneath Adrien’s black leather jacket.

The door flew open to admit one Gabriel Agreste.

Nathalie could just be seen in the corridor.

‘What are you going on about?’ said Gabriel. ‘Shouldn’t you be practicing your piano?’ 

‘I don’t have piano anymore. It’s been replaced with guitar.’

Gabriel’s frown deepened.

Adrien shook his head. ‘It's nothing important, Father.’

‘Don’t mumble when I speak to you. What has you so upset that I can hear it in my office?’

‘One of our friends was almost Akumatized the other day. He said that the butterfly left when he mentioned that he’s in love with another friend.’ Adrien ran his hands through his hair, unconsciously imitating Jagged Stone’s posture. ‘And now everyone’s talking about how Hawkmoth is in love with Marinette Dupain-Cheng.’

Gabriel’s mouth dropped open.

The tablet slipped from Nathalie’s hands.

The Agreste men looked at her.

‘Sorry.’ She knelt and picked up the broken pieces.

Gabriel turned back to his son, clenching his fists tightly behind his back. ‘Why are you concerned about—?’

‘God, Dad! Just let me live my life for once!’

For the second time in less than three minutes, the designer’s mouth dropped open.

Adrien winced at his father’s shock. It felt too similar to when he yelled at his father as Chat Noir during Simon Says. He rubbed his eyes, smearing eyeliner across his face. ‘Sorry, Father.’

‘Are you worried about your friend’s safety?’ said Gabriel.

‘Yeah. I think so.’ Adrien shoved his hands into his pockets. ‘And she’s in love with Luka—’

A faint growl rumbled in Gabriel’s throat. ‘Still?’

‘As far as I can tell.’ Adrien straightened up. ‘She’s really excited about going to the opening gala with us, so we can help keep her safe from Hawkmoth there!’

Nathalie coughed, dropping the fragments of her tablet again. ‘Excuse me,’ she whispered before disappearing in search of water <strike>and a safe place to laugh</strike>.

Gabriel glowered at his assistant’s retreating back. ‘I was unaware of Miss Dupain-Cheng’s addition to our party.’

‘Father, please! She’s so excited! It would hurt too much to say no now. She was too excited to even pay attention to Luka.’

That caught Gabriel’s attention. ‘She’s more interested in a gala than in Mr Couffaine?’

‘And she was too excited to stammer around me.’ Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I guess she loves fashion more than she hates being around me.’

‘Adrien,’ Gabriel took a deep breath, ‘come with me. I have, I mean, I believe I have the perfect dress for Miss Dupain-Cheng to wear to the event.’

Adrien followed his father to the office. As soon as he saw the design on the screen, he yelled, ‘It’s perfect!’

‘Excellent. A prototype has already been made. As soon as we have her measurements, we can alter it to fit her.’ Gabriel pulled up a selection of jewellery. ‘I’ll have Nathalie request permission from her parents to attend a fitting after school tomorrow.’

Adrien threw his arms around his father. ‘Thank you so much!’

Gabriel looked down in surprise before embracing his own son. ‘I had no idea Miss Dupain-Cheng meant so much to you.’

‘She’s an amazing friend.’

In returning his attention to the screen, Adrien missed seeing his father chew the inside of his cheek. ‘Is this the jewellery you want her to wear?’

‘I thought we could pick out the items together. You know her much better than I do.’

When Nathalie returned half an hour later, she found the father and son looking through boxes pulled from the family safe.

Adrien held up a necklace. ‘What about this?’

Gabriel nodded. ‘Well spotted. We will have to confirm tomorrow, but I believe you’re correct.’

‘I can’t wait for tomorrow! Nathalie! Come see what we picked out for Marinette. Do you think she’ll like them?’

Nathalie kept her voice steady as she said, ‘I think Marinette will greatly appreciate all of your efforts.’

‘We should pick out jewellery for you to wear.’ Adrien spun on his heel and rummaged through boxes. ‘I saw the perfect earring and bracelet set over here…’

‘Adri—’ Nathalie stopped as a hand rested on her shoulder.

‘Let him,’ said Gabriel softly. ‘He’s enjoying himself.’

‘…With an onyx centre. It should go with whichever dress you pick…’


	8. '...And We Both Know What We Know'

Nooroo fluttered by the computer. ‘Do you sleep anymore?’

‘I have a nap scheduled for a week from next Tuesday.’ Nathalie’s fingers continued to fly across the keyboard.

Gabriel paced around the room, a phone glued to one ear. ‘…I specifically requested emerald. You sent me what would be offensive to label as shamrock!’

Nathalie’s fingers slipped on the keyboard. She shook her head to clear the brain fog and took a healthy swig of her coffee.

The last several Fashion Weeks had been the most exhausting and exhilarating sort of hell. The knowledge that said hell only lasted for a handful of weeks twice a year was enough to keep her interested. It was exciting, a nonstop whirlwind.

The moment she learned of her employer’s plans concerning the Miraculouses, she had dreaded this time of year.

She wondered if a second cup of Resurrection Coffee would be enough to get her through the rest of the day.

The day.

What day was it?’

Nathalie pulled up her calendar. Yes, it was still Wednesday. Another twenty-hour day, if Hawkbriel and the Akumanettes had their way.

She sipped at the coffee, wondering at the logistics of investing in a reusable metal straw.

‘You’re going to hurt yourself very badly with that,’ said Nooroo.

She set down her cup. ‘I can sleep when I’m dead. There’s a chance of scheduling that in for a week from Saturday, depending on—depending on—’

The Butterfly Kwami sighed. ‘Drugs are never a substitute for sleep.’

‘Just be glad I’m not on any controlled substances.’ Nathalie hid a yawn and erased the last three sentences of her email, all little better than gibberish.

Her phone buzzed. Adrien’s bodyguard notifying that he had collected the children and…

‘Nathalie?’

She shook herself. ‘Yes, sir?’

Gabriel frowned. ‘I asked you a question.’

‘Yes.’ She blinked, trying to figure out what he could have asked about this time.

‘I asked about why the house is so hot.’

Nathalie blinked several times. ‘Is it warm?’

He loosened his cravat. ‘You’re in a turtleneck and blazer and haven’t noticed—?’

The opening of the gates caught Gabriel’s attention.

‘I’ll bring them in.’ Nathalie collected her tablet and went to the foyer.

Adrien bounced in, significantly more energetic than the last several afternoons. He handed an empty travel mug to Nathalie. ‘Where’s Father?’

‘In his office. Good afternoon, Marinette.’

‘Hi, Nathalie.’ Marinette hopped from one foot to the other.

‘Mr Agreste is expecting you both.’

Nathalie opened the door for them and hid a smile. 

Her employer—who was certainly _not _running for the title of Most Dramatic Man in All of Paris—stood in silhouette against the window.

Gabriel turned around. ‘Adrien, Miss Dupain-Cheng.’

He stepped aside, exposing the dress hanging on a petite mannequin.

Marinette gasped and ran over. ‘It’s perfect!’ She touched the pale pink, almost white, flowers embroidered across the skirt and along the bodice.

‘Adrien suggested the dark blue background rather than traditional black for your complexion,’ said Gabriel. He removed the dress from the mannequin and handed it over to Marinette. ‘Adrien, please show her to the dressing room. The appropriate shoes should be waiting.’

‘Yes, sir.’

Gabriel puffed with pleasure at the sight of the two teens walking together. ‘It’s good to know the Akumas have accomplished their purpose.’

Nathalie decided that ‘Which Akumas?’ was the most neutral way to phrase her incredulity.

‘The love Akumas, obviously!’

‘Right.’ She set the travel mug down and investigated a pinging sound on her computer.

‘And find out why it’s so warm!’ He removed his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves.

Adrien opened the door and held it for Marinette. ‘Here you go.’

‘Thanks.’ Marinette went straight to the small stand by one of the windows and let out the excess fabric. ‘Other than being too long, it’s an almost perfect fit!’ She spun.

Waves of fabric swirled about, throwing up a breeze.

‘It’s almost like it was made for me.’ Marinette stopped and said, ‘Thank you so much for this opportunity, Mr Agreste!’

His smile was genuine as he said, ‘My pleasure, Miss Dupain-Cheng.’

Adrien sat in his father’s desk chair and watched the fitting. He flipped through the sketches on the desk and noticed that the mannequin with Marinette’s dress had Marinette’s face.

He looked up to see Nathalie staring at him. He held up the picture in question.

Nathalie nodded and motioned to the bottom right corner.

Adrien looked again. The date was from three months ago. 

Nathalie leaned back in her chair and sipped her coffee.

Tea?

She spat the tea back into the mug. Freaking jasmine—

Only one person was fussy enough to drink a jasmine white tea blend. And if she had the cup with the jasmine white tea blend…

Nathalie did her best to appear calm as she searched for the errant cup.

By the window, Gabriel and Marinette talked shop as he marked where to hem her dress.

Nathalie looked on shelves and under furniture.

When she reached Gabriel’s desk, Adrien said, ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I can’t find my coffee!’

Adrien pointed.

_Shitshitshitshitshit!_

Gabriel’s phone rested on top of the cup.

She nudged the phone away. 

The cup was empty.

A wide-eyed Adrien whispered, ‘How long do we have?’

‘The cup has cooled. It could be minutes.’ Nathalie looked over her shoulder. ‘The sooner you can get Marinette home, the better.’

‘Nathalie?’

They both flinched at Gabriel’s clear call.

‘Yes, sir?’

‘Inform the kitchen staff that we will have a third for dinner.’

‘Yes, sir.’

Adrien whispered, ‘And make sure there’s enough wine.’

‘Do you want to give him a heart attack? There was nearly a quarter left!’ Nathalie pulled out her phone and passed the information along to the staff.

‘Shit,’ hissed Adrien.

‘Language!’

A _plink!_ sounded.

‘What was that?’ said Nathalie.

Adrien gulped. ‘You just lost a hair pin.’

_Fuck_.

‘Go ahead and step down, Miss Dupain-Cheng. Walk around a little—yes, just like that.’

Marinette strolled around the room, grinning and trying not to giggle. ‘I can’t believe this!’

Adrien stared, his eyes tracking her movement.

When she reached his part of the room, Marinette spun around. ‘How do I look?’

‘You look amazing, Princess,’ whispered Adrien.

Her laugh was a pitch too shrill.

‘Please change back into your street clothes,’ said Gabriel. ‘I believe dinner will be ready shortly.’

Marinette executed a proper curtsy and sailed off to the dressing room.

‘What do you think?’ said Gabriel.

Nathalie reached over and forced Adrien’s jaw back up.

He swallowed hard. ‘She’s amazing, Father!’

‘Excellent.’ Gabriel wiped at the perspiration on his forehead. ‘Nathalie, check the heating system and find out why it’s so warm!’

‘I think it’s actually kind of cold,’ said Adrien. ‘Didn’t you see that Marinette had goosepimples?’

‘Hmm.’ Gabriel looked at Nathalie.

She wanted nothing more than to melt into the floor and never return. And perhaps grind the two cups into sand before scattering them to the four winds to destroy any evidence.

Marinette returned with the dress. ‘How would you like me to do my hair and makeup?’

Gabriel placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘I think curled and loose would be best. What do you suggest Adrien?’

‘Uh…curled and loose would be great! Maybe partly twisted to give shape when viewed from the back?’

The door closed behind them.

Nathalie sank into a desk chair and buried her face in her hands.

He knew.


	9. Scratch That; Everyone Knows

Gabriel watched his son hold the car door open for the Future Mrs Agreste.

He smiled grimly at their laughter and closed the door.

Only now could he allow his shaking hands their freedom.

Damn the coffee. Damn his distraction and picking up the wrong cup! He had been drinking jasmine tea! How did you not notice the energy drink-laced coffee?

There was no one to blame but himself.

Unfortunately, this was not the first time Nathalie had broken the rules.

Gabriel went to the darkened office. ‘Nathalie?’

Nooroo flew to his Wielder. ‘She’s sleeping, Master. Please let her be. It was an accident.’

‘Be quiet, Nooroo.’ Gabriel turned on different lights.

Something crunched under his shoe.

A hair pin.

The end was truly nigh. 

Nathalie lay curled up on the couch, her glasses crooked on her face.

Nooroo fluttered about Nathalie. His eyes begged for mercy. Just this once.

‘Nathalie!’

She flailed as she woke up. ‘Sir?’ she gasped, trying to fix her glasses. Strands of hair stuck to her face.

Gabriel handed her the hair pin. ‘You know exactly what I’m going to say.’

Nathalie nodded and folded her hands in her lap.

‘I told you to never bring that stuff into the house again. We drew up a contract agreeing that you wouldn’t.’

‘With all due respect,’ said Nathalie, straightening her spine, ‘it was that or fall drastically behind on work due to exhaustion, if not falling ill. This would leave you without an assistant during Fashion Week.’

‘Hm.’

‘The addition of balancing out your activities as Hawkmoth makes things even more complicated. I’m tired, sir. I’m so tired.’ She took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes, careful not to smudge the makeup.

‘I understand.’

Nathalie looked up blearily.

Gabriel sat on the ottoman across from her. ‘This has not been an easy year. But you cannot continue drinking that stuff. It will kill you one day.’

‘It’s a risk I’m willing to take.’

‘I’m not.’ He stood up, trying to walk off a new wave of jitters. ‘Your kitchen privileges are hereby revoked.’

‘Sir!’

‘You will surrender ever bit of contraband and pour it down the sink yourself.’ He held up a hand to keep Nathalie from arguing. ‘I will inform the kitchen staff of the new restrictions. They will report directly to me if you are spotted in the vicinity.’

Nathalie stood up, clenching her fists. ‘Mr Agreste, really!’

He sighed wearily. ‘Please don’t make me parent you. It’s not a good look for either of us.’

She bit back a retort, choosing to huff and allow herself the luxury of a brief pout.

‘However, based on what you’ve said, I’m willing to make a deal.’

She raised an eyebrow.

Gabriel said, ‘In lieu of revoking your coffee privileges, I won’t sent out any Akumas until after Fashion Week.’

‘I want it in writing. On paper.’

He nodded. ‘Draw it up tonight, and I sign it in the morning. You are dismissed for the evening.’

‘Such as it is,’ she muttered.

Gabriel disappeared into his lair, leaving Nooroo behind.

Nathalie grimaced at the gleaming portrait and looked out to the darkening skies. The Gorilla would see that Adrien was put to bed, Gabriel was in his lair…

And the key to the liquor cabinet was on her keychain, locked in her desk drawer.

Nathalie chuckled. ‘I’ll just take it out of my paycheque.’ She pulled out her phone and texted the Gorilla: ‘_I’ve decided to fuck up horribly. Please pick me up in 15 minutes._’

‘What are you doing?’ said Nooroo.

She tucked the phone away. ‘Just this once, we’re going to relax. Come along, Tiny Kwami.’

Nooroo followed her through the mansion and into the rarely-used sitting room.

Nathalie ran a finger along a table and another along the back of a chair. ‘Good to know they’re still dusting properly.’

She unlocked a large cabinet in the corner of the room and rummaged through the contents. ‘Ah! I knew it.’

She removed a bottle and poured the contents into a glass and a thimble nicked from Gabriel’s desk.

Nooroo sniffed his thimbleful and recoiled. ‘What is this?’

‘Absinthe. Try it.’

The Kwami watched her turn her glass, studying the green liquid. ‘What are you looking for?’

‘Trying to decide how much of an idiot I’m going to be.’ She shrugged and downed it like a shot.

‘Miss Nathalie! You haven’t eaten!’

‘This is to hit my bloodstream. By the time I eat, I’ll be ready for another shot and may have a chance of sleeping tonight. Mr Agreste will never be the wiser.’

She took a deep breath and steadied herself. ‘It will also ensure that Hawkmoth’s career does not end due to strangulation.’

Nooroo’s eyes widened. ‘Would you really?’

Nathalie glanced at him as they walked to the kitchen. Her last visit for however long Gabriel chose to ground her.

Ugh.

She grabbed her tray and sat down at the small table. ‘You really care for him.’

Nooroo perched on the salt cellar. ‘I always want the best for my wielder, even if they are not always wise.’

‘That is a terrible mentality to have.’ She stabbed her salad with a fork and shoved as much as she could into her mouth.

The moment he got home, Adrien transformed and ran like the very devil to get to the Eiffel Tower. Thanks to dinner—not that he would ever complain about as wonderful a dinner as that had been—he was almost an hour late to meeting Ladybug for patrol.

She arrived just as he did, panting just as hard as he was. ‘Sorry for being late!’

‘Late? I was worried I had completely missed you!’ Chat Noir leaned against one of the support beams. ‘What was so fascinating as to keep you from my a-meow-zing company?’

‘Remember how I mentioned there’s a boy I like? His fa—family invited me to stay for dinner after working on a project.’

Chat Noir kept his smile steady. ‘Are you saying this boy is finally recognising how amazing and wonderful you are?’

‘Maybe; his father seems to really like me, but we share a lot of the same interests.’ Ladybug took a deep breath. ‘What about you? Did you lose track of time while grooming yourself?’

‘Ha! I only groom myself this thoroughly when meeting, My Lady.’ He grinned. ‘No, we also had company for dinner.’

Ladybug wrinkled her nose. ‘How did that go?’

‘It went really well. A friend came over and my father had dinner with us and was almost relaxed.’

‘Is he not normally?’

‘Well,’ Char Noir looked guilty. ‘That’s a complicated answer. He’s usually not the most relaxed guy, but he accidentally drank his ass—er, I mean, my sssssss…’

‘You can call her your sister,’ said Ladybug.

Chat Noir thought for a moment before nodding. ‘Yeah, a sister would be a good way to describe her.’ He laughed and clapped his hands. ‘She’s going to hate that! I am totally calling her my sister after this!’

Ladybug grinned as he laughed. ‘Is she uptight as well?’

‘Very. She probably came out of the womb with a scowl and a spreadsheet clenched in her tiny fist.’ Chat Noir slid to the floor, holding his sides and wiping at tears. ‘But the problem was that Father accidentally drank some of her super intense coffee. He kept trying to hide it during dinner.’

‘Oh, dear. I hope he’s all right.’

‘He’ll be fine. It’s happened before. Mom would sometimes sneak some to Father whenever he ignored a deadline.’

They listened to the sound of sirens wailing in the distance. 

Chat Noir’s ears twitched. ‘Just an ambulance.’

Ladybug sat next to him before switching sides.

‘What’s wrong?’

She pushed him over slightly. ‘There’s a wind, and there’s just enough of you to make a half decent windbreak.’

‘Aw, is the little Bug cold?’

‘Not yet, but this should slow down the process.’ Ladybug shifted in her position before picking up Chat Noir’s arm and putting it across her shoulders. She flipped open her yoyo and pulled up the Ladyblog.

Chat Noir bit back a squeakand forced himself to not wriggle with excitement. His Lady had wrapped His Arm around HER!

‘Oh, no.’

He looked at the screen. ‘What’s up?’

‘The girl who runs the Ladyblog just posted a story about Hawkmoth having a love interest.’

Chat Noir tensed. ‘I heard something about that at school. He’s in love with some girl who the rest of Paris is in love with.’

Ladybug turned a brilliant shade of red.

‘According to my sources!’ he squeaked.

‘It’s not you,’ said Ladybug. ‘I’m just worried about Hawkmoth coming after her or her family. The blog post has her full name and everything! Alya basically put a giant target on her back! He’s—’

‘Ancient? I know! I mean, the Miraculouses disguise us, but we still look like teenagers. Hawkmoth looks fifty if he’s a day.’ He tilted his head.

‘What?’ said Ladybug.

‘I just remembered my father turns fifty this year. I should talk with Na—my sister about if we’re doing anything to celebrate.’

‘Might be a good idea.’ Ladybug continued to scroll through the blog post and the different comments. She retched. ‘Oh, that’s just gross.’

‘Are people writing fanfic about it?’

‘Worse. Links to fanart. And—oh, brilliant. There’s a ship name.’ She closed her yoyo and stood up. ‘And here I was having such a lovely night.’

‘Paw-trol time?’ said Chat Noir.

She nodded. ‘Yeah, probably should.’

‘Would you like to check on Marinette or should I?’

‘Would you?’ said Ladybug. ‘I have a feeling that having a guy to talk to would be a little more comforting in this instance. Maybe we can alternate nights to check in with her?’

‘As always, you have the best ideas.’ Chat Noir pulled out his baton. ‘Now, where to first?’


	10. 'Siblings: The Enemy You Can't Live Without'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My salt for Season 3 Alya's actions finally found an outlet. I apologise for the appearance in a crack fic as well as the plot which has reared its ugly head and shall be put to bed quickly within the next one to two chapters. 
> 
> Writing Adrien and Nathalie's relationship had me nearly in tears from squealing with happiness.

The alarm rang.

Adrien slipped a hand out from beneath the warm covers and grabbed Plagg. ‘Destroy another alarm clock and I’ll destroy whatever monstrosity you’re aging under my bed.’

‘Bold words for a mostly asleep human speaking to an immortal god.’

Adrien forced his eyes open. ‘Pretty sure an immortal god wouldn’t scratch up my couch or chew the wires on every electronic in the house.’

‘You obviously need to read up on your Greek mythology again if you’re going to take that attitude.’ Plagg phased out of Adrien’s grip. ‘And for the record, your father had it coming concerning his work station.’

Plagg followed Adrien around, declaring his long list of grievances in the case of _Plagg vs Gabriel Agreste’s Hatred for Anything Involving Dairy. _‘…And just when I think things can’t get any worse, that new maid finds the Limburger hidden in your laundry basket.’

Adrien removed the toothbrush from his mouth, spraying toothpaste everywhere. ‘I knew my socks weren’t that disgusting!’

‘Gah!’ Plagg dodged the spray of toothpaste foam. ‘You’re so unfair! And after being out so late last night taking care of Marinette.’

‘She needed a friend. I guess she didn’t need me after talking with Luka, but I’m glad Ladybug suggested we check in on her.’ Adrien rinsed his mouth and pulled out the eyeliner. He pulled up a picture of Jagged Stone and tapped his lower lip. ‘I guess this’ll work.’

Five minutes later, his black Converse squeaked on the marble floor. ‘Can’t wait for coffee,’ he hummed. ‘Can’t wait for—Nathalie? What happened?’

She handed him the day’s schedule. ‘Your father revoked my coffee privileges and confiscated my supplies.’

Her eyes were red.

Adrien squinted, trying to decide if she had been crying or was just that tired.

Wait.

His heart landed somewhere in his shoes.

‘No coffee?’ he whispered.

Nathalie nodded. She reached a shaky hand up to fix a hairpin flopping by her ear.

‘No coffee. No coffee.’ Adrien felt something resembling breakfast being shoved into his hand.

A pair of hands navigated him to the car.

He climbed in and buckled up out of habit. ‘No coffee?’

Nathalie sat on the other side and slammed the door. Her hands shook and twitched horribly. ‘Just this once, anything you say is exactly what I’m thinking.’

‘Not like Father can fire me.’ Adrien nibbled on the warm thing in his hand, surprised to learn it was a savoury breakfast crepe. ‘Are you sure you can’t bully him into giving back privileges?’

Nathalie leaned her head against the window. ‘I would if I could.’

‘Seriously? You’ve worked for my parents forever. Surely you have some sort of blackmail on them!’

She froze, hands shaking worse than before. ‘What-what-what are you talking about?’

‘I mean, there were all those meetings with the board members and bribes to Mayor Bourgeois, and other things that they wouldn’t want reported. Right?’

‘Right,’ she whispered.

‘Blackmail is totally—’

Nathalie rested a hand on his head, silencing him. ‘First things first: It’s never blackmail.’

‘What is it then?’

‘Leverage. On a terminology level, leverage cannot be prosecuted to the same level as blackmail can.’

‘Oh.’ He swallowed another mouthful of breakfast. ‘Fine, then. Do you have any leverage?’

‘Nothing worth this. I've used up all of my petty leverage.’

‘Nathalie, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?’ He sat up straight and shoved crepe into his mouth.

She frowned. ‘What are you thinking of?’

He shook his head, mouth still full.

Nathalie snatched the crepe from his hand. ‘I am currently running on five hours of sleep and extreme caffeine withdrawals. Spill it!’

Cheeks of a shade to rival Marinette’s, Adrien swallowed. ‘I, uh, I might have told someone you were like a sister to me.’

‘Oh.’ She blushed and looked at her feet. ‘Is that all?’

‘No.’ He grabbed the crepe back. ‘But I was kind of laughing because it’s kind of true sometimes. I mean,’ he rubbed the back of his neck, ‘if I was going to have a sister, I’d kind of want one like you.’

Nathalie said, ‘I would make a terrible sister. That’s what my parents always said whenever I asked for a sibling.’

‘That’s an awful thing to tell a kid!' Adrien crossed his arms and scowled. 'I am hereby adopting you as my sister for all formal and informal events. I mean, you already forge Father’s signature on my permission slips, which is exactly what a Slytherin big sister would do for her Hufflepuff little brother.’

‘Fine. As your “Slytherin big sister”, I’m also going to reserve the right to fix your hair.’ She reached over and adjusted his hair. ‘Did you even brush it?’

‘Yeah, but I got carried away with the eyeliner.’

‘I can tell.’ Nathalie pulled out a packet of makeup wipes from one of her many pockets and set about cleaning up the smudged liner. ‘If your father is serious about making this your new look, then we’re going to set up a meeting with Makeup.’

‘They’re—ow! Careful!—going to love that.’ Adrien blinked his right eye where the wipe had touched it. ‘Ow, that stings!’

The car rolled to a stop in front of the school.

Adrien looked over at Nathalie. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’

She tapped her chin. ‘I’m trying to decide if we need to include mascara or some other sort of tint—’

‘Yep, nope, never again, bye!’ Adrien grabbed his bag and jumped out of the car.

Alix and Nino chatted by the entrance. Their expressions were grim.

As Adrien walked up, he heard Alix say, ‘You can do this, Lahiffe. You’re strong, mature, and understand that someone has to say enough.’

‘Right.’ Nino adjusted his hat. ‘Oh, fuck, why can’t someone else stand up to her?’

‘Because you alone hold the power of—oh, hey, Adrien.’

‘Hey,’ said Adrien. ‘What wrong?’

‘Alya way overstepped herself.’ Nino sat on the steps, elbows on his knees. ‘She’s not listening to anyone—’

‘Where’s Marinette?’ said Adrien.

Alix jerked her head in the direction of the bakery. ‘We sent the Couffaines and Rose over to stall her until the last minute. With our luck, today would be the one day she’s massively early.’

Nino said, ‘I know I have to stand up to Alya, but I’m not sure she’s actually going to listen to me. She’s not listening to anyone right now!’

‘So why do you have to be the one to talk to her?’ said Adrien.

‘Because,’ Nino took a deep breath, ‘because I can break up with her.’

‘Oh…dude.’

‘I have that power. And I’m scared that she’s not going to take it seriously and/or will just bully me into my shell and I won’t be any good to Marinette. She needs all the allies she can get right now.’

Nino rubbed his hands together. ‘I can’t call myself Marinette’s oldest friend if I let her get bullied like this.’

Alix massaged her knuckles. ‘If she does, decking Alya will be worth whatever punishment gets thrown my way.’

Voices echoed through the gates of the school.

‘…don’t understand, but thanks for walking me to school,’ said Marinette.

‘We’re always happy to help,’ said Rose.

‘Yeah,’ said Juleka, a _pain du chocolat _in hand. She tore off a piece and handed it to Rose. ‘Tell your parents thanks for the treats.’

‘I will!’ Marinette hugged Luka. ‘Thanks for everything last night.’

He chuckled. ‘Always happy to help. Remember, even the strong ones need help.’

She coloured. ‘Right.’

‘I’m only a phone call away. And Rose and Jules have your back if anything goes down.’ Luka waved at Alix, Nino, and Adrien. ‘Hey, everyone.’

‘Hey,’ said the trio.

Marinette frowned. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Peachy,’ said Alix drily. ‘Just discussing Alya.’

‘Right.’ Marinette rubbed her left arm and looked at the ground.

‘How about this?’ said Alix. ‘Marinette, how about you sit next to Mylene today and I’ll sit next to Alya.’

‘Thanks, but,’ Marinette wrinkled her nose, ‘I’ll be right next to Chloe, then.’

‘How about Adrien sits next to Marinette today,’ said Nino, ‘and I’ll sit next to Alya.’

‘But then Alya will still be one desk away,’ said Alix.’

‘What about,’ said Luka, ‘move Alya next to Mylene and Alix sits next to Nino or Adrien while the other sits next to Marinette? That keeps everyone at a safe distance.’

Alix pointed to Luka and said to Juleka in a stage whisper, ‘Your brother is a freaking genius!’

‘Brothers aren’t so bad,’ said Juleka. ‘Sometimes.’

‘Hey!’ Luka nudged her with his elbow. ‘Sometimes?’

Juleka giggled.

A pang shot through Adrien’s heart, remembering his banter with Nathalie.

Once this Hawkmoth business was over, he was taking her to Harry Potter Studios and buying Slytherin and Hufflepuff robes and appropriate wands and taking every possible picture. 

‘You okay, Adrien?’ said Luka.

‘Uh, yeah.’ Adrien wiped at the tears threatening in his eyes. ‘Just—just—missing my mom, I guess. The happy teasing and all.’

‘If you ever need a big brother,’ said Juleka, ‘you’re more than welcome to share mine.’

The warning bell rang before Luka could say anything.

Luka went off to his own business for the day, and the rest made their way to Ms Bustier’s class.

They immediately implemented Luka’s plan.

Alix planted herself in Alya’s usual seat and sent off a text to Mylene.

Mylene read the message and gave Alix a quick thumbs up.

Marinette took her seat.

Adrien turned around and patted her hand. ‘You’ll be good.’

She took a shaky breath. ‘Thanks.’

Nino took his seat and drummed his fingers on the desk.

Alya walked in and stared. She collected her calm and strolled up to her usual desk. ‘Hey, Alix, but that’s my usual seat.’

Alix set her feet on the desk. ‘Sure is.’ She smiled at Alya. ‘But I fancied a change, so Mylene is happy to be your seatmate for the foreseeable future.’

‘What? Why?’

‘Perhaps, perhaps,’ Alix made a show of examining her fingernails, ‘because you spread a rumour on the Ladyblog and now Marinette has a big old target on her back! And the fan art people are posting? It’s disgusting and you need to take down every link that people are sharing.’

Alya’s face flamed. ‘I’m a journalist! I’m posting relevant stories—’

‘Gossip.’ Nino stood up and faced his girlfriend.

‘Nino, no,’ whispered Marinette.

‘It’s gossip at best,’ said Nino.

‘Slander at worst,’ said Adrien. ‘I asked a family lawyer, and Marinette’s family could win big time if they chose to sue. So could Hawkmoth, for that matter. It’s well known he’s old enough that this could never fly due to Marinette still being under the age of consent.'

Alya sputtered.

Ms Bustier walked in. ‘Good morning, child—’

‘Why do you hate me like this?’ Alya turned to Marinette. ‘I’m sorry! Please don’t hate me! You’re my best friend.’

‘I don’t hate you,’ said Marinette wearily. ‘I hate what you’re doing.’

‘Marinette!’

‘God, Césaire! Give her some space!’

The entire class looked at Chloe.

‘Since when do you care about Marinette?’ said Alya, crossing her arms. ‘You’re just looking to make more trouble.’

Chloe laughed and waved her hand dismissively. ‘You seriously think I can top the damage you’ve done? You painted a target on your friend’s back and exposed her to all sorts of public embarrassment.’

‘Talk about a back-handed two-in-one compliment-insult hybrid,’ said Max.

‘Leave it Chloe,’ muttered Kim.

Chloe said, ‘And now you’re trying to pretend you can just apologise and make it all better. Take it from someone who knows: “I’m sorry” has limited currency.’

‘Chloe,’ said Ms Bustier, ‘please stop tormenting Alya.’

The heiress continued to maintain eye-contact with Alya, eyebrows arched, begging for a fight.

‘If I turn into an Akuma, it’s your fault!’ Alya grabbed her bag and stomped over to the empty spot by Mylene.

‘As in all things, back of the line.’ Chloe turned to the teacher and smiled brightly. ‘Good morning, Ms Bustier. What level of learning are you scheduled to enlighten us with today?’


	11. *4 for HR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you give your assistant a grudge...

The emotions from François Dupont pulled at the Miraculous.

Gabriel tasted blood from where he had chewed the inside of his cheek raw.

The contract detailing no Akumas until after Fashion Week in exchange for Nathalie not drinking that blasted toxic mess she called coffee sat on his desk, waiting to be signed.

Nooroo slept on top of the workstation monitor.

He hadn’t signed it yet. Technically he was within his rights to send out an Akuma.

Technically.

And technically Nathalie would be within her rights to dump her work on some poor, unsuspecting soul at Corporate and walk out with the necessary materials to completely destroy him on multiple levels.

But these emotions! So strong! And all begging for his attention.

Nathalie manoeuvred the door open with her foot, her arms laden with packages.

Two Akumas. He could manage that.

A pity he couldn’t consult with Nathalie. She really was excellent at planning.

While Nathalie set out the packages on his desk, he escaped to his lair.

As he rode the elevator, he murmured, ‘One Akuma to keep Nathalie busy, a second to seek out the Miraculouses.’

‘Master,’ said Nooroo, ‘you promised Miss Nathalie.’

‘I haven’t signed the contract yet. Technically it doesn’t apply yet.’

‘But she forwent coffee this mor—’

‘Nooroo, dark wings rise!’

He caught a butterfly and transformed it. ‘Fly away my little Akuma and evilise them!’

Nathalie opened a box and sighed with relief. It had only taken six weeks, but the manufacturers had finally shipped the right shoes with two days to spare before the show.

A rustling caught her attention.

She looked up and threw her hands over her head.

A mountain of literal paperwork covered her, pinning her to the floor.

Akuma.

Wonderful. Because today wasn’t overbooked as it was.

‘Damn him.’ Nathalie wriggled, trying to see if she could crawl out.

The pile of paperwork shifted, putting pressure on her left side.

She huffed and plotted her revenge.

Her earring pressed into her skin.

Through the floor, she heard Hawkmoth shouting at his latest Akuma.

‘…those two! Trap them, Mon Cherry! You don’t have…’

Another love Akuma. Perfect.

Nathalie closed her eyes. As long as she couldn’t physically move, she may as well try for a nap.

‘No!’

Scratch that. The shouting of her middle-aged employer could rival any football fan in a Saturday night pub.

Her personal phone was digging into her left hip.

She shifted her right arm, trying to pull it out. Surely someone would be able to help her.

The paperwork pinning her down groaned at the movement.

Never mind.

Below, Hawkmoth roared, ‘What do you mean they escaped?’

Nathalie squinted and tried to read the papers in front of her. ‘Newspapers?’

She read a paragraph here and a half paragraph there. She ended up making a game of guessing the full captions for the three pictures she could see.

That killed five minutes.

A bellow from below shifted the papers.

Nathalie closed her eyes. ‘Here lies Nathalie Sancoeur, an Overworked and Underpaid Executive Assistant, Unwilling Henchman, and Champion Keeper of Secrets, dead of suffocation unless Ladybug and Chat Noir manage to defeat her employer.’

Her work phone beeped.

Adrien needed to be picked up from school.

Her personal phone vibrated on her hipbone.

‘_Ow?_’

It continued to vibrate.

Gabriel had serious grovelling to do. She would be more than happy to schedule that in for him.

What was taking Ladybug so long?

‘No! Not again!’

Thank God and about time!

The pink ladybugs washed over the city.

Nathalie tried to jump up only to find the left side of her body was completely numb.

She flopped over and dug the vibrating phone from her pocket.

_Reminder: Massage 17.35 @ — _

Nathalie dropped her personal phone on the floor and set about massaging her left arm. Her work phone beeped on her desk.

Her glasses rested by the secret elevator.

By the time Gabriel emerged, she was able to sit up and was massaging her left leg.

He scowled. ‘What happened?’

‘Glasses by your feet!’

Gabriel scooped up the glasses. ‘What happened?’

‘Your Akuma trapped me beneath a literal pile of paperwork. I couldn’t move the entire time.’ Nathalie used the desk to stand up. That massage was going to be extremely helpful. ‘You wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would you?’

He had the grace to look embarrassed. ‘I thought I could distract you!’

‘Bitch, you _thought_!’

Gabriel flinched before scowling. ‘Language.’ He handed Nathalie her glasses.

‘Language is the last thing you need to be worrying about from me, _Mister _Agreste.’ She shoved the glasses onto her face and marched towards the door.

‘Where are you going?’

‘Out.’

Nathalie took pleasure in slamming the door as hard as she could.

She called a taxi and went straight to the day spa. On the ride, she changed the forwarding option for emails from her phone to Gabriel’s phone.

She chuckled and tucked the phone into her pocket. Today might not be such a loss after all. Termination papers would probably in her near future, but it would be worth it.

The taxi jerked to a stop, and Nathalie disappeared inside.

‘Ms Sancoeur!’ trilled the receptionist. ‘You’re early.’

Nathalie planted her hands against the desk. ‘I’ll take whatever is available right now.’

‘That kind of day, huh?’ said the girl, running through the schedule. ‘Henriette is available for a manicure and arm massage in twenty minutes if you’re willing to wait?’

‘Get me a drink and make sure I don’t fall asleep.’

‘Always happy to have you, Ms Sanceour.’

The windows of the Agreste mansion rattled from the force of the door slamming.

Nooroo crawled out from behind Gabriel’s shoulder. ‘I told you, Master.’

Gabriel looked at the half-unpacked boxes. He looked over the contents. The shoes went with the dress for Jeanette, but the clutch looked more like another designer’s work…

He pulled out a feathered monstrosity. He would have remembered designing—oh, wait. No, this was his. A recycled idea from one of the more disappointing Akumas.

_Not _Mr Pigeon.

A series of rapid-fire pings sounded from his workstation.

Nathalie’s work phone rang.

Gabriel groaned and tried to read the first message on his workstation.

His personal phone buzzed.

He pulled it from his pocket. ‘Gabriel.’

‘Hi, Father,’ said Adrien. ‘Um, do you know where Nathalie is? I’m late because of the Akuma and the car is nowhere to be seen.’

Gabriel picked up Nathalie’s tablet. After a minute of guessing at the passcode, he pulled up the calendar. His and Adrien’s schedules sat side-by-side in their colour coded columns and boxes. ‘I’m afraid Nathalie was upset by the latest Akuma.’

‘It was near the house? I didn’t—I thought the news said it stayed on the other side of the Seine.’

There! Adrien was supposed to be at a shoot in—

He checked his watch.

Fifteen minutes ago.

Perfect. 

Gabriel tucked the tablet under one arm and the phone beneath his chin. ‘Wait at the entrance of the school. I’ll be right there.’

Adrien sputtered. ‘_You’re _going to pick me up?’

‘I do know how to drive.’

‘I haven’t seen you drive since Capri.’

Gabriel found the keys to the second town car. ‘You were eight.’

The grey town car sat in the garage. Where was Adrien's bodyguard?

‘Nine, but yeah.’

‘I have to make a call. Be there soon.’

Gabriel connected his phone to the Bluetooth system and called corporate. It took two minutes to navigate the phone tree and speak to someone about getting Nathalie's backup to the house.

Nathalie would have known the direct number.

The car slid to a stop in front of the school.

Adrien’s classmates stared.

Adrien looked embarrassed as he climbed into the passenger seat.

The car speakers blared with the ringing of a phone.

Adrien clapped his hands over his ears. 

Gabriel hit the answer button. ‘Gabriel.’

‘Mr Agreste, we’re very sorry, but it appears that Ms Sanceour has no backup,’ said a woman’s voice.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, sir, it appears Ms Sanceour _was _the backup.’

Gabriel ground his teeth as they waited at a traffic light. ‘Find one and get them over to my house in the next half hour.’

‘Sir, has Ms Sanceour been fired? Will this be a permanent situation? Should I contact HR—?’

‘Contact whoever the hell you have to!’ Gabriel hung up and gripped the steering wheel more tightly.

The phone rang again almost immediately.

‘What?’ he shouted.

‘I’m very sorry to bother you,’ said a man’s voice, ‘but Adrien is not at the shoot. We are unable to get in touch with Ms Sancoeur or Adrien bodyguard and wondered—’

‘Adrien is with me. I will have him at the shoot as soon as this blasted traffic starts moving!’ Gabriel hit the button and slammed his head against the headrest.

Adrien’s hands lay clasped in his lap. He stared out the window, trying to stay as small as possible.

Notifications continued to chime on the phone.

‘There’s no way Nathalie deals with this many messages in a fifteen minute period,’ muttered Gabriel as he navigated traffic.

Adrien looked at the screen. ‘Some of these are almost an hour old.’ He swallowed. ‘That’s about when the Akuma struck, right?’

Gabriel grunted and cut through traffic.

Someone made a rude gesture at him.

‘I think she set up the system to forward everything that hasn’t been answered yet.’ Adrien grabbed the arm rest as they swung around a corner. ‘What happened with the Akuma?’

‘It trapped her beneath a pile of paperwork, according to her.’ Gabriel’s lips twitched. At least that part of the plan had worked. ‘She was understandably upset when I found her.’

‘She walked out?’

Gabriel nodded.

‘You saw her?’

‘What is your question, Adrien?’

Adrien chewed on his lip. ‘Will she—will she come back?’

Oh.

The question hit like a punch to the gut.

Nooroo fluttered beneath his jacket.

Gabriel swung into his reserved spot in the corporate parking garage. He turned and put a hand on Adrien’s shoulder. ‘She’ll be back. I promise.’

Adrien sniffed, nodded, and climbed out of the car. 

They walked into the building together.

A manager whisked Adrien away to the shoot.

‘Mr Agreste!’

The head of HR—Yasmin? Yvette?—ran up, her stiletto heels clicking on the marble floor.

Her staff badge read ‘Yvonne’.

‘Welcome back, Mr Agreste,’ said Yvonne. ‘We’ve found three potential candidates.’

Gabriel stood up straight. ‘I’m not looking for a permanent replacement. It’s only for the afternoon.’

Yvonne pursed her lips. ‘If Ms Sanceour had given us a week’s notice before taking off for an afternoon, we would have been much better prepared.’

Gabriel ground his teeth and vowed to treat his assistant better. ‘What are their names?’

‘Whose names?’

‘Are you so inept at your position? The names of the people you have selected.’

‘Georges, Tiana, and Finley.’

He handed over the tablet. ‘Give this to Finley and see that all messages are answered before the end of the day.’

Yvonne gaped at the number of emails and messages. ‘There’s no way we can train someone before the end of the day. Ms Sancoeur may be willing to work all hours, but we end out day at six here.’

It was both a mercy and a pity that Gabriel Agreste was Hawkmoth, otherwise the prettiest, most rage-filled of Akumas would be stampeding through the corporate headquarters of Agreste Fashions.


	12. 'Father Ordered Chinese'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Championship for Obliviousness! It’s Father vs Son in today’s competition, and statisticians are saying it’s going to be a close race.

Adrien was having the weirdest day of his life.

As the Wielder of the Embodiment of Destruction, that was saying something.

That was saying a lot, really.

Alya being turned into an Akuma—not Lady Wifi, but something journalism related? Relatively expected.

Getting trapped by the Akuma with Marinette before breaking free to transform and join his Lady? Less expected but not too far from the norm.

His father 1) leaving the house, 2) picking him up, 3) staying long enough at Corporate to take him home again?

Suddenly a tiny talking cat-like thing which could destroy Paris in a single boop seemed as normal as Mendeleiev springing a twenty-question pop quiz five minutes before the bell rang.

His father parked the car in the garage.

The tablet lay on the backseat, silent due to a dead battery.

Gabriel removed the keys from the ignition and closed his eyes. ‘We are never doing that again.’

Adrien’s stomach growled. ‘Father?’

‘Mm?’

‘You know the chef is out today, right?’

Eyes still closed, Gabriel said, ‘We’re ordering take-away. How hungry are you?’

This was a dream. It had to be a dream.

Adrien followed his father into the house.

‘Do you prefer Chinese or Indian?’

‘Chinese, please.’ Adrien watched as his father ordered the food on the dying phone. ‘You know how to use apps?’

‘Nathalie downloaded it for emergencies.’ Gabriel set his phone on the table. ‘I think this qualifies as an emergency.’

Hawkmoth tapdancing across the rooftops of Paris while singing ABBA would feel tame after today.

Adrien dropped his book bag in the dining room.

‘We’ll eat in the kitchen.’ Gabriel draped his jacket over a chair and ran his hands over his hair. ‘I wonder where Nathalie put the key to the wine cellar...’

Adrien sidled off to the kitchen, afraid of breaking whatever spell his father was under. He pulled out plates, glasses, serviettes, and silverware, remembering Nathalie’s drills on table settings.

Naturally, they ended up being timed drills, committing the necessary items to muscle memory.

Adrien only faltered when staring at the collection of stemware, wondering which one to pull out.

‘Get two glasses for red,’ said Gabriel upon returning.

Adrien turned around and tried to smother his shock. ‘Tw-two?’

Dressed in shirtsleeves and with his hair flopping around his face, his father almost looked like a normal parent home from the office.

Even the loosened cravat couldn’t ruin the illusion.

Gabriel set a dusty bottle on the counter and rummaged for the corkscrew. ‘We may as well use this opportunity to validate your table etiquette.’ He removed the cork with a flourish and poured Adrien a glass.

Adrien clutched the delicate crystal.

Gabriel poured his own glass. ‘Show me how to taste a red.’

Adrien adjusted his grip. ‘Hold it by the stem and sniff before looking at the colours.’

‘Good.’

They managed to get as far as chewing the wine when the bell for the front gate sounded. Gabriel collected the bags and lay them out on the table. ‘You did a good job with the table.’

Adrien puffed up a little. ‘Thank you.’ He loaded his plate with the contents of the different boxes and tucked in.

They were discussing how to split the remains of the chow mein when a shrill ringing sounded from somewhere in the house.

Father and son stared blankly at each other.

‘What is that?’ said Adrien.

Realisation dawned on Gabriel’s face. ‘The house phone.’

‘We have a house phone?’ Adrien followed his father through the house, looking for the location of said house phone.

It stopped ringing right as they reached the office.

Adrien spotted the offending item tucked behind a vase. He picked up the white, cordless brick with an antenna sticking out the top. ‘Why does this look older than me?’

‘It may just well be. Your mother and I switched to cell phones almost as soon as they became reliable.’

It rang.

Adrien jumped and tossed it to his father.

Gabriel caught it neatly and pressed a grey button. ‘Agreste.’

Adrien wandered around the room, half-listening to the conversation on the phone.

‘My apologies. Yes, Ms Sancoeur is currently unavailable…I believe my phone battery died.’

Adrien stopped and studied the dress that Marinette would wear. He could just hear the person on the other line speaking. Something about trying an old number and the next call would be to Madame Agreste’s family.’

‘No!’

Adrien jumped and turned around.

His father looked furious. ‘You will not contact Madame Agreste’s family at all…It’s nearly nine in the evening. You could easily have waited until tomorrow to contact us—I am familiar with the instructions I left.’

Gabriel stalked about the room, one hand loosening his cravat even further. ‘There will be someone to receive your representative tomorrow…Good night to you as well.’

He hung up and set the phone on its base. ‘I didn’t know that line was still active. Chow mein?’

Adrien trotted after his father. ‘Who was that?’

‘The jewellers. They finished cleaning the items for tomorrow and wanted to verify delivery information.’

‘Oh.’ Adrien took his seat and smiled. ‘Marinette’s going to look amazing tomorrow night.’

Gabriel scooped the rest of the chow mein onto his son's plate and topped off their glasses. ‘What do you think of Marinette?’

‘She’s a really great friend.’

‘Have you ever considered becoming more than friends?’

Adrien froze and blushed, noodles caught halfway between his mouth and the fork. He sucked the noodles in. ‘Er, well…she’s a good friend and I’d hate to ruin it on the chance of a relationship gone wrong.’

Gabriel gave his son a weary look. ‘You have a mature understanding of the risks of a relationship.’

Desperate times…

‘Your mother and I were good friends for years.’

Adrien brightened noticeably. ‘Really? Mom said she fell in love with you the moment she saw you!’

Gabriel smiled and shook his head. ‘I thought she was in love with a mutual friend. We were excellent friends.’ He studied the dark liquid in his glass. ‘I choose to believe that’s what allowed us to make an excellent marriage.’

‘What if you fall in love first and become friends afterwards?’ Adrien fiddled with his ring.

Silence.

He looked up.

Had his father always looked so old and tired?

Gabriel sighed and pushed his glasses on top of his head. ‘Do you believe yourself in love with someone else?’

‘Y-yeah. But she doesn’t love me back.’

‘Have you told her so?’

Adrien nodded, rolling the wine glass between his hands. ‘She thinks I’m being a flirt.’

‘Ah. I’m afraid I can’t help you with that. It wasn’t until André pointed out that your mother had been flirting with me for months—years, honestly—that I realised she might be more than a friend.’

The grandfather clock chimed ten in the foyer.

‘Help me stack the dishes,’ said Gabriel. ‘Then it’s time for you to go to bed.’

Adrien swallowed the last of his wine and collected the dishes. He scraped the remnants into the garbage bin. ‘I liked having dinner with you.’

He hugged his father and went upstairs.

The moment the bedroom door appeared, Plagg popped out from under Adrien’s jacket. ‘Finally! I’m starving!’

‘Eat all you want.’ Adrien rubbed his eyes and threw his jacket on the ground. ‘As wonderful as it was, I’m going to bed before this day can get any weirder.’

Gabriel watched Adrien run upstairs.

From taking measurements and designing, he knew his son was growing.

But to recognise the rapid growth just this week was a little jarring.

He rinsed the dishes and stacked them, wondering where he had gone wrong both as a parent and as a supervillain.

The problem with shipping is that shippers are terrible things. By hook, crook, or Love Akuma, the two—two—_dunderheads_ refused to get a hint, let alone fall in love!

As much as the black leather was a desperate last attempt, Gabriel had hoped that his son would attract Miss Dupain-Cheng’s affections well before the line was finalised.

No such luck.

He was stuck with an emo-branded, guitar-playing child for the next six months.

Blast.

Nooroo sat on the window sill over the sink. ‘He loves you very much, Master.’

Gabriel poured the last of the wine into his glass. ‘He’ll understand why I’m doing this.’

The Kwami followed his Wielder to the office. ‘He also loves Miss Nathalie.’

Gabriel’s feet habitually headed towards the portrait of Emilie.

Instead, he changed his direction to where the mannequin held the dress for Marinette.

He studied the flawless design, created in less than a day.

‘I have not put this much work and effort just for my son to repeat my mistakes.’ Gabriel drained his glass and tossed it over his shoulder.

Nooroo shivered at the tinkling of broken crystal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The breaking of a wine glass after making a toast (specifically throwing it over your shoulder) signifies that the glass was used to toast something so important that it shall never be used again.


	13. Damage Assessment!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, we're getting back to crack after this chapter. I also had Adrien's questions sketched out about a week and a half ago, now that we live in a post-'Felix' world.

Friday morning dawned dark and gloomy.

Nathalie was in the lobby of her apartment building when the familiar town car drove up.

She climbed in, surprised to see only the Gorilla.

She sniffed twice and looked at the cup holder.

A travel mug gleamed at her.

‘Is this—?’

The Gorilla grunted.

‘You’re the best.’ She inhaled and closed her eyes before sipping on the freshly brewed batch of Resurrection Coffee. ‘I owe you.’

At the mansion, Adrien opened the front door for her. ‘You’re back!’ He did a quick look up and down. ‘And you’re tall again.’ He grinned and closed the door behind her. ‘Who’s in trouble now? Are you really pulling the Power Heels on Father?’

‘And HR.’ She removed her coat and placed it in the closet. ‘I received an email detailing that I have no assistant to—’

Adrien hugged her, knocking her into the wall. ‘I’m so glad you’re back!’

Nathalie returned the hug before wondering how long Adrien was going to cling to her. ‘It was only one night.’

‘You don’t understand. Father ordered Chinese.’

‘Ah.’

‘And he let me drink wine. Red wine! The night before the opening gala!’

Gabriel stepped out of the dining room, a cup of coffee in hand. ‘Nathalie! You’re back.’

She smoothed her blazer. ‘Good morning, sir.’

‘I see you have your coffee again.’

‘Yes, a private supplier.’

Gabriel scowled.

The corner of Nathalie’s lips curled. She deliberately sipped from the mug.

Adrien looked from his father to Nathalie and back again. ‘Oh.’

They looked at him.

‘What is it?’ said Gabriel.

‘N-n-nothing.’ Adrien cleared his throat. ‘I’m just going to finish getting ready for school.’

He raced upstairs.

Nathalie kept her hands clasped behind her back and held her employer’s eye.

‘You’re tall today,’ said Gabriel.

‘I’ve made an appointment to speak with HR concerning my lack of a substitute. Their behaviour yesterday was unacceptable.’

‘Ye-es.’

Nathalie’s eyebrow twitched at the hesitancy in his voice. ‘Something to say, sir?’

Gabriel straightened his shoulders. ‘Many things, but nothing to be said in front of Adrien.’

‘Understood.’ She removed a manila folder from her bag and held it out. ‘This is a revision on our most recent contract.'

He took it. ‘You just made one.’

‘I know. But you broke it before you even signed it. This contract will reflect that.’

He sighed. ‘How much?’

‘It’s not just money you’re handing over for my silence in this situation. Please read it and be ready to discuss the terms upon my return.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’ Gabriel tucked the folder under his arm.

Nathalie looked to her right and saw Adrien peeking at them from between the balcony spindles.

Obviously, they needed to review the Hide and Seek curriculum from five years ago.

‘Adrien!’ she called.

He jogged down the stairs.

‘No eyeliner today?’ said Nathalie.

Gabriel said, ‘I decided the eyeliner was a bit much until he can learn to properly apply it.’

‘I asked,’ said Adrien. ‘The change from one look to the other was a lot to handle.’

Nathalie nodded. ‘It sounds like certain channels of communication were opened last night.’

Adrien thought for a moment. ‘Yes, I believe they were.’

Nathalie checked her watch. ‘We should be going.’

‘Make sure to communicate with Miss Dupain-Cheng concerning tonight’s plans.’

Adrien held up a file. ‘Already on it!’

He waved goodbye to his father and followed Nathalie to the car.

As soon as the car swung from the gates of the house, Adrien said, ‘Nathalie, do you like men?’

Nathalie coughed and choked on her coffee. ‘I’m sorry?’ she croaked.

‘Do you like men? Or do you prefer women? Or both?’ His face was a study of worried hopefulness.

‘I’m not exactly a fan of either.’

‘You mean you’re ace?’

She blinked. ‘Ace?’

‘Asexual, meaning you’re not interested in sex.’

‘Well,’ she crossed one leg over the other, ‘I guess that’s better than the previous categorization.’

‘What was that?’

‘I remember Frigid Bitch being the popular moniker.’

‘Oh.’ Adrien shuffled his feet. ‘I mean, you might be aromantic. You can still like sex—’

Nathalie held up a hand. ‘This is not an appropriate conversation for us to be having.’

‘I’m the one who started it, but okay.’ He stared out the window.

Nathalie tried to focus on an email but failed. ‘All right, what brought this question up?’

‘I was watching you and Father today, and I realised that you sometimes tease him. Kind of in the same way Mom would but only when she was in a really, really good mood.’

Nathalie gripped the mug tightly. This would not do at all. ‘Do I?’

‘Well, you did today. And after yesterday, you left and I was so scared you wouldn’t come back, just like her.’

‘Adrien.’

He looked at her, eyes wide and frightened.

‘I will always come back,’ said Nathalie. ‘I promise.’

His shoulders relaxed. He took a shaky breath. ‘Thank you.’

‘Was last night so difficult?’

‘Yes and no. I got to spend time with Father—I kept wondering if he’d been hit by an Akuma to be made so relaxed.’ Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. ‘It made me realise that you and Father work really well together. Seeing him fall apart without you was scary.’

‘He seems to have managed.’

‘Did you miss the part where I said he ordered Chinese? He used a food order app.’

Nathalie smiled.

‘And today he said I don’t have to wear eyeliner. And last night we talked a little about how he and Mom fell in love.’

‘So,’ said Nathalie in a teasing tone, ‘what I’m hearing is that my absence makes for a better relationship between you.’

‘Nath!’

Her chest tightened at the use of his childhood name for her.

Adrien looked at the fingers tangled in his lap. ‘If Mom wanted to be found, she would’ve by now. I just, I just want to let you know that I wouldn’t hate it if you became my stepmother.’

The car slowed to a stop in front of the school.

Alix and Nino walked up the car, their faces grim.

Adrien stepped out and walked up to the school with them.

As the car pulled away, Nathalie watched him speak with his friends. He was so happy with friends.

She punched the seat beside her. ‘Damn it. I sound like my mother.’

The Gorilla dropped her at Corporate with instructions to pick her up in an hour.

Nathalie strode into the lobby and flashed her rarely-used staff badge to security.

An entire team of people were waiting for her by the time she strode into the conference room.

‘Ms Sancoeur! Welcome back,’ said Yvonne, a bright smile pasted on her face.

The faintest of cruel smiles curled on Nathalie’s lips as she said, ‘Did you miss me?’


	14. Never Put Your Hand into a Dog Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like being able to recycle a story that was originally scrapped due to the airing of the episode 'Ladybug'!
> 
> Side note: What is up with this week?! Then only answers I'm getting are 'Mercury is no longer in retrograde'.

Adrien’s smile disappeared as soon as he saw Alix and Nino’s faces. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Lila’s feeding Alya’s drama,’ said Alix. ‘Know any fancy lawyers willing to take on a case of libel?’

‘And I was having such a nice morning.’ Adrien rubbed the bridge of his nose. ‘What’s the plan?’

Alix and Nino exchanged a look.

‘I’m still all for letting Chloe loose,’ said Alix.

‘The situation isn’t that bad,’ mumbled Nino.

‘Ehhhh,’ said Adrien.

‘You think it’s bad enough to loose Chloe on them?’

Alix said, ‘The Jolly Blond Giant and I are in accord on this one.’

‘Thanks?’ said Adrien. ‘Um, as far as a plan…I got nothing right now.’

They found the majority of their classmates huddled around Ivan’s desk.

‘There you are!’ said Kim. ‘Any ideas? Juleka and Rose are distracting Marinette again.’

‘She’s going to get suspicious at this rate,’ said Nathaniel.

Max looked up from his calculator. ‘There’s an 94% chance she already is.’ He adjusted his glasses. ‘This does not take in into account Marinette’s interest in Luka and her growing affections for him.’

Everyone gave Adrien a pointed look.

‘What?’ said the boy.

Mylene shook her head. ‘It’s hopeless at this point.’

A cheerful, Disney-like whistling echoed through the hall.

Chloe strolled into class, shades lowered, a golf club slung over her shoulder, and a drink in the other.

‘Hey, Chloe,’ said Kim. ‘Whatcha got there?’

‘A smoothie.’ Chloe set it on Lila’s desk before sitting down.

Adrien sidled over. ‘What are you planning?’

‘I’m about to end both girls’ careers.’ Chloe waved to Sabrina. ‘There’s room for only one Queen Bee in this school.’

The red-head pranced over to Max.

‘Chloe,’ said Adrien.

‘Look, Adrikins.’ She popped her shades on top of her head. ‘People seem content to let this fester, but I’m not.’ She glanced at the group behind them. ‘I don’t understand people’s infatuation with Lila, but I’m willing to take the opportunity and direct it as I see fit.’

‘Just…’

She raised an eyebrow and also her chin. ‘Just what?’

He squirmed. ‘Be kind. Please?’

‘Why do you think I brought Angelica with me?’ Chloe patted the nine iron on her desk and pulled up Instagram on her phone.

‘Sometimes, I worry about you.’

‘Very sweet of you, but don’t you have a Ladybug to go sigh over?’

He threw his hands in the air. ‘What’d I ever do to you?’

Chloe rolled her eyes. ‘Just be ready to call Nathalie to bully the teachers when the fighting breaks out.’

‘Yes, ma’am,’ he muttered.

Juleka and Rose entered, an arm linked through each of Marinette’s.

Rose chattered, a cheese pastry in her free hand. ‘…newest costumes for Kitty Section!’

‘How about we talk at lunch?’ Marinette frowned at Chloe’s desk. ‘Planning on taking people’s head off with that?’

Chloe double-tapped a picture on her phone and continued scrolling.

Marinette took her seat next to Alix. ‘What’s up?’

‘Drama.’ Alix drummed her fingers on the table.

Sabrina giggled. ‘Thanks, Max!’ She skipped back to her desk.

‘Good morning, everyone!’ said Ms Bustier, a stack of papers tucked under one arm. ‘Will you find your seats, please? I want to make sure you have as much time as possible for today’s exam.

Chairs scraped against the floor.

Alya and Lila scampered into class. ‘Good morning, Ms Bustier!’

‘Good morning, Lila, Alya. I’m glad you were able to make it on time.’

Lila laughed. ‘Time flies when you have good friends!’

Adrien sensed Marinette’s rising tension behind him.

Ms Bustier said, ‘Chloe, will you please put your golf club on the floor?’

‘Of course, Ms Bustier,’ said Chloe in an especially bright tone. She slid it beneath her chair.

Nino whispered to Adrien, ‘What’s she up to?’

‘I have no idea. All she told me was to get ready to call Nathalie for help.’

‘Oh, shit.’

As Alya and Lila climbed the steps to their seats, Chloe’s foot slid ‘Angelica’ out from beneath her chair.

Lila’s foot landed on the club.

She sprawled in a heap, landing hard on one knee.

‘Angelica’ hastily retreated behind Sabrina’s chair.

Lila shrieked and clutched her knee.

Adrien planted his face in his desk and covered his head with his arms as drama erupted around him. He closed his eyes and disappeared into his recent favourite daydream: Taking Ladybug to the gala for Fashion Week.

His attention returned to the present when Chloe snorted and said, ‘I’m not being mean; I’m just describing you.’

‘Come up with some better descriptors,’ snapped Alya.

‘Girls, please!’ cried Ms Bustier.

Chloe pulled a fifty euro note from her purse and handed it to Alya. ‘Don’t come back until you buy some better insults.’

Alya crumpled the bill and threw it back. ‘I don’t have to buy when I can create my own.’

‘I’ve yet to see evidence of this creativity, so excuse my lack of faith.’

‘What about my leg?’ wailed Lila.

‘Who cares?’ said Chloe with a wave of her hand. ‘I’m surprised you can notice an injury amongst all your other “ailments”.’

Lila spat a sentence in Italian.

Marinette looked up from her tablet. In the tightest, most controlled tone, she said, ‘What did you call her?’

‘I didn’t say anything! Ms Bustier!’

‘Oh, no, no, no,’ said Marinette, holding up a finger. ‘I heard exactly what you called her. And no one, even Chloe, deserves to be called that.’

‘How would you know?’ said Lila.

Marinette gave a poisonously sweet smile and rattled off a sentence in Italian.

Lila flushed and made a retort.

‘Marinette!’ said Ms Bustier. ‘Please don’t antagonise Lila. She’s hurt.’

Marinette rolled her eyes and said something in the sweetest of tones.

Lila’s mouth dropped open.

‘Oh, shit,’ whispered Nino.

‘What?’ said Adrien.

‘Shit just got real.’

Lila’s fists curled as she asked a question.

Marinette’s lips curled in the most terrifying Cheshire cat smile. ‘You heard me.’

Adrien realised he had never been in love before this moment.

Lila screamed and jumped across the desk.

She and Marinette crashed into Ivan's desk.

The giant retreated to a far corner of the room.

‘Children, please!’ cried Ms Bustier.

Adrien locked eyes with Chloe.

‘Now,’ she mouthed and whipped out her phone, pressing the speed dial.

He grabbed his phone and hesitated between calling Nathalie and his father.

‘Daddy!’

He called Nathalie. ‘Nathalie!’ he said in a too-loud voice.

‘—She’s being so mean, Daddy!’ wailed Chloe. ‘Make them stop!’

Ms Bustier called Mr Damocles for backup.

Beneath the hullaballoo of the classroom, Adrien said into his phone, ‘Your Hufflepuff is in need of his big, bad Slytherin sister!’

The Italian teacher poked his head into the room. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. 

‘Do you know what they’re saying?’ said Ms Bustier.

‘Yes, and I don’t dare repeat in front of minors—ooh! Yeah, definitely not repeating that one.’

‘Can’t you stop them?’ cried Ms Bustier.

‘Please just come and help,’ said Adrien in the phone to Nathalie. ‘I’m scared Marinette will get in trouble for something that’s not her fault.’

‘“Never put your hand into a dog fight”,’ said the Italian teacher solemnly.

‘I’ll be there as soon as I can,’ said Nathalie through gritted teeth. ‘Gabriel Agreste, I swear!’

Everyone but Chloe scattered for the edges of the classroom as the girls wrestled down the stairs, their fists in each other’s hair.

‘Daddy-y-y-y!’ wailed Chloe.

Adrien jumped onto his desk to avoid the girls. ‘Is Father being an ass again?’

Nathalie snorted. ‘Twenty minutes at most. Mr Agreste, step away from the paint—!’

The girls rolled into the tables.

Adrien dropped his phone.

Lila landed on it.

His heart dropped to his toes at the _crunch!_

‘Miss Dupain-Cheng!’ barked Mr Damocles.


	15. Telephone Hour and the Art of Shakespearean Infatuation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crack is back with a vengeance. Adrien falls into advanced states of Shakeareanitis Amoratum.

Rose’s phone rang. She pressed the video chat option. ‘You’re never going to believe what happened!’

Alix’s face popped up on the screen. ‘You mean there’s something that can top today’s action?’

Juleka leaned over Rose’s shoulder. ‘Oh, yeah.’ She grinned. ‘Bye bye to Luka’s chances with Marinette.’

‘Just a sec.’ Alix pressed a button.

Kim’s face appeared in the split screen. ‘Has today been crazy or what?’

Rose accepted another call.

Chloe and Sabrina’s faces appeared.

Sabrina added Max.

‘Where’s Nino?’ said Alix.

‘Breaking up with Alya,’ said Max. ‘But what happened on the way to school?’

Chloe said, ‘Let me guess: Marinette saw the new _Gabriel _ad.’

‘All twenty-metres of Bad Boy!’ squealed Rose.

‘Seriously thought we were going to have to call the ambulance,’ said Juleka. ‘She legitimately stopped breathing and kept whacking me in the arm.’

Kim said, ‘That sort of smirk should be illegal.’

‘It’s technically a smoulder,’ said Alix. She beeped in Mylene and Ivan.

‘Have you _seen _that poster?’ said Mylene. ‘More importantly, has Marinette seen it?’

‘That’s exactly what we’re talking about,’ said Max. ‘Markov and I ran an analysis, and based on pixilation, that is all Adrien. No computer programme made_ that_.’

Chloe said, ‘Taken within the last twenty-four hours based on the hurried editing out of a pimple.’

‘You would notice that,’ said Alix. ‘Waaaaaaaait…wait. Wait. Wait.’

‘We’re waiting,’ said Kim.

Alix ticked points off on her finger. ‘Adrien came to school in the new look on Tuesday, right?’

‘How was that only Tuesday?’ said Nathaniel.

Sabrina said, ‘When did you join this call?’

‘I was talking with Rose first. Art project.’

‘But Bad Boy Adrien,’ said Kim.

‘Right,’ said Alix. ‘Adrien shows up in what we now realise is more or less a replica of Luka’s look.’

‘Lucky Luka,’ giggled Mylene.

‘He and Marinette _conveniently _mix-up their cups, which save for Ladybug’s intervention, Marinette would have ended up in the hospital for.’

‘Where are you going with this?’ said Chloe with a sigh.

‘Someone’s trying to get Adrien and Marinette together.’

‘Well, duh,’ said the heiress. ‘Do you have a name?’

‘One which I’m incredibly reluctant to mention considering he probably has wiretaps—’

‘It’s Mr Agreste,’ said Max. ‘Mr Agreste is the one who controls Adrien’s wardrobe and is a skilled businessman. He knows how to get what he wants.’

‘And what he wants is for Adrinette to become canon?’ said Sabrina.

‘The only other option would be for Adrien to be the manipulating the events.’

The chat errupted with laughter.

Rose wiped at her eyes. ‘He may have looked like a bad boy for the last three days, but he’s as clueless as ever.’

‘He’s still hung up on Ladybug, anyways,’ said Chloe.

Juleka clicked her tongue. ‘Well.’

‘Well?’ said the class.

‘Uh, er, I mean…’ She stared at her hands before whispering furiously in Rose’s ear.

Rose’s eyes grew wide as her lips made the tiniest of O’s. ‘No!’ She looked at her girlfriend. ‘Really?’

‘Cross my heart and hope to die.’

‘You guys! You’re not going to believe this!’

Nathaniel groaned and flopped back onto his bed. ‘We’ve been waiting.’

‘Juleka says that Adrien looked at Marinette like he usually looks at Ladybug!’

The chat exploded.

A beep sounded.

Alix hit the ‘add’ button.

‘What’d I miss?’ said Nino.

When Adrien imagined introducing his family to the Dupain-Cheng bakery it had always been a happy instance: Picking out goodies with his mother, visiting with Sabine in Chinese, seeing his father fret about not be the tallest person in the room, conversing easily with Marinette. Maybe they would all get along well enough to attend dinner together.

This was not at all it.

Marinette ran into the bakery, shoulders shaking.

Sabine dropped a tray of pastries and ran to her daughter. ‘What happened?’

Marinette threw her arms around her mother and sobbed.

Adrien hesitated outside the shop door. He watched Sabine examine her daughter’s face.

‘Tom!’ called Sabine. ‘Get an icepack!’

Adrien gripped the doorknob more tightly.

‘Are you going to go inside?’ said Nathalie. ‘Or should I submit paperwork requesting your position as a permanent fixture on the pavement?’

He ducked his head and hurried inside.

Marinette sat on a stool, an icepack pressed to a swelling lip.

Her father stood with a hand on her shoulder. ‘What happened?’

‘Lila Rossi,’ mumbled Marinette.

Nathalie cleared her throat and held up the tablet with Gabriel's face. ‘Excuse me, but Mr Agreste would like to a part of this conversation given that Marinette is supposed to join us this evening.’

‘I didn’t even think of that,’ said Adrien. He looked to Marinette’s parents. ‘Can Marinette still come to the gala?’

Tom and Sabine looked at each other.

‘Normally,’ said Sabine, ‘we would say “no”, but given the circumstances…’

‘It’s just not like Marinette to get so riled up,’ said Tom. ‘It was lucky that Hawkmoth didn’t Akumatize her.’

Nathalie gave the back of the tablet a sharp look.

‘Yes.’ Gabriel coughed. ‘Most fortunate.’

‘What exactly happened?’ said Sabine.

Marinette looked at the assembled crowd. ‘Lila and Chloe were picking at each other. Lila called Chloe a—a—’ She ducked her head and muttered the Italian term to her father.

‘She called Chloe a what?’ roared Tom.

‘What is it, dear?’ said Sabine.

‘I’ll have my mother explain.’

Marinette removed the icepack, exposing her swollen lip. ‘She only got nastier from there.’

‘And that’s how the fight started,’ said Adrien, hands shoved into his trouser pockets.

‘How did the fight end?’ said Sabine.

The teens looked uncomfortably at each other.

‘I pulled the fire alarm,’ said Nathalie woodenly. ‘I’ve found it to be the most efficient means of ending such a confrontation.’

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I mean, she’s right.’

‘Mr Damocles and Ms Bustier are going to call to set up an appointment,’ said Marinette, testing her sore teeth.

‘Humph,’ said Sabine. ‘And I’m sure Lila will continue to make mischief.’

Marinette yelped as her mother pulled her into another hug.

‘Why didn’t they call us?’ said Tom, resting a hand on his daughter’s shoulder.

‘Er,’ Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, ‘once the fight started, I called Nathalie and Chloe was on the phone with her dad.’

Nathalie said, ‘With Mr Agreste’s support, the school faculty was more than happy to send Marinette home.’

Was it Adrien’s imagination or was his father squirming? 

‘How did you do that?’ said Sabine.

Nathalie said, ‘I simply suggested that separating the girls would decrease the chance of an Akuma—’

Yep, his father was definitely squirming and Nathalie’s smile was a little too cat-that-got-the-cream.

What was happening to his family?

‘—While ensuring that Marinette’s public appearance at Fashion Week could only help when petitioning for an increase in the school’s budget in the upcoming fiscal year.’

Gabriel’s ears were an impressive shade of red. ‘I’m afraid it was a self-interested bargain. Pulling both Marinette and Adrien from school early in the day allows us more time to prepare for tonight’s event.’

Adrien tilted his head to look at his father better. Since when—what sort of—never mind. He looked back to Marinette and sighed. His warrior princess.

He sighed again.

Nathalie looked at the top of his head. ‘Did you just sigh?’

‘Uh, yeah. Marinette standing up for Chloe was, well—’ He looked back to his blue-eyed angel. ‘“Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of sighs”.’

Nathalie pressed the back of her hand to his forehead.

He looked up at Nathalie’s hand. ‘Did I say that out loud?’

In English, she said, ‘Just be glad you didn’t say it in French.’

Adrien looked back to Marinette and gave a soppy smile. ‘“Come what sorrow can, it cannot countervail the exchange of joy that one short minute—"’

Nathalie gripped his collar, twisting just enough to quiet him. ‘Excuse us. I’ll contact you as far as picking Marinette up for tonight.’

‘But my princess!’ wailed Adrien.

‘Will he be all right?’ said Sabine.

‘It’s a family illness,’ said Nathalie. ‘They’re a very romantic lot.’

Sabine laughed.

Nathalie bundled Adrien out the door and into the waiting car. ‘What exactly was that about?’

‘I’m in love with Marinette.’ He sighed and rested his head against the car window. He blinked and continued to sigh.

The Gorilla gave the rear view mirror a confused look.

Nathalie felt Adrien’s forehead again. ‘You don’t seem feverish.’

‘“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind”.’

‘Perhaps, but remember that “silence is the perfectest herald of joy”.’ Nathalie groaned. ‘“I were but little happy if I could say how much”.’

Adrien blinked back tears. ‘Are you in love with Marinette, too?’

‘Oh, Lord. You’re fifteen!’

He sniffed. ‘“Doubt the stars are fire; doubt that the sun doth move his aides; doubt truth to be a liar—”’

The Gorilla rested his forehead against the steering wheel and groaned.

‘“But never doubt that I love”.’

‘The only thing I doubt is the until-now presumed sanity of the Agreste men,’ said Nathalie. ‘I thought you were still fixated on Ladybug.’

She hurried Adrien inside the mansion.'

‘“Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!”’

Gabriel stepped out of his office. ‘What’s wrong? You hung up abruptly.’

Adrien threw himself on the couch. ‘“For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.”’

A hairpin plinked onto the floor.

‘He started quoting Shakespeare to Marinette.’ Nathalie rummaged int the closet for a first aid kit. ‘Agreste men and their need to be dramatic…’

She found the kit and kicked the door shut.

Gabriel perked up. ‘He’s fallen for her?’

Nathalie blinked at him. ‘Can you confirm that it’s not Akuma related?’

He held his hand up as if swearing before a court. ‘I solemnly swear.’

‘Hm.’ Nathalie sat on the couch and set the kit on her lap. ‘Hopefully it’s just sleep deprivation.’

‘Is Miss Dupain-Cheng aware of his affections?’

‘Hypothetically, not yet. He quoted everything in English.’

‘“My love is boundless as the sea…”’

Gabriel looked at his heir with disappointment. ‘He’s hopeless.’

Nathalie cocked an eyebrow. ‘Apparently the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree.’

Adrien curled around a pillow and closed his eyes.

Nathalie looked up in question.

‘Let him sleep,’ said Gabriel. ‘“Perchance to dream”, even.’

She removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes, smearing the makeup. ‘Please, don’t.’

Gabriel helped her to her feet. ‘Go rest. Tonight promises to be quite the success.’


	16. The Strategic Conflict that is Negotiation

Poke.

Poke.

Pokepokepoke.

Still mostly asleep, Nathalie swatted her hand at whatever was poking her.

‘Nathalie?’

She pried an eye open to see Adrien resting his chin on the bed, his face inches from her own.

‘Father wants to know if you’re awake.’

‘Tell him that despite your best efforts I’m still asleep.’ She pulled the duvet over her head and nestled further into her nest of pillows. ‘Now, go away.’

‘Can’t. The Gorilla just went to pick up Marinette.’

Nathalie refused to move.

‘Nath, please?’

‘If you can’t see me, I don’t have to get up. Which means I don’t have to go to the gala.’

‘Why are you being so difficult?’

She pulled the duvet far enough down to look at Adrien. She huffed, blowing hair out of her face, and squinted at him. ‘Because apparently someone needs to show you what a backbone looks like.’

He ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up. ‘Father’s right: You really pick the worst times to be stubborn.’

Nathalie flipped the covers back over her head.

‘The Gorilla gave me this in case you refused to get up.’

Adrien tugged the duvet down and held a cup of Resurrection Coffee beneath her nose.

‘Damn you all.’ She sat up and sipped at the beverage, scowling at the Sunshine Child.

‘You don’t really mean it.’ Adrien sat on the edge of the bed. ‘Right?’

Nathalie took another sip, formulating her sentence. ‘Let’s just say that for an honorary little brother, you’re all right.’ She reached over and ruffled his hair.

He laughed and jumped up. ‘Now that you’re awake, Father says to meet him in the office. Something about a new dress.’

‘Lovely.’ Nathalie groaned as she climbed out of the bed, shivering at the cooler air. She had remove her turtleneck and blazer before her nap, content in a tank top and her slacks. ‘Don’t you need to get dressed before your lady love shows up?’

Adrien blushed a furious shade of red and stammered his way out the door.

‘Don’t forget to wash your hair!’ Nathalie stared at her empty coffee cup and considered returning to bed until it kicked in.

She washed her face and did her makeup for the evening event.

Hopefully Marinette arrived before her hands started shaking. Heaven only knew what a teenage girl could term as ‘appropriate’ for formal makeup.

‘Nathalie!’

Nathalie applied the second false eyelash and dragged herself downstairs. She took one look at the dress on its hanger. ‘Is this prom or the opening night to a gala?’

‘That’s only part of the outfit,’ said Gabriel. ‘I’ll hand over the second part once you agree to my plan.’

‘And that is?’

‘Hear me out: Lock Marinette and Adrien in a closet together.’

‘Absolutely not!’ Nathalie took the black satin dress and stepped behind the screen to change.

‘Please?’

She poked her head from behind the screen. ‘I am not locking two minors into a closet!’

‘You don’t have to actually lock them in,’ said Gabriel. ‘Just make it so it’s harder for them to get out than resist—’

‘Please don’t finish that sentence. I’d like to have at least plausible deniability should you try anything.’ Nathalie zipped the strapless gown up and adjusted herself and the dress. She nearly tripped over the too-long skirt. ‘Is there a petticoat for this thing?’

Gabriel pulled the crinoline from its hiding spot and handed it and the selected shoes back.

She muttered as she climbed out of her dress, fastened the crinoline, and slid back into the dress.

‘I feel and look ridiculous.’ Nathalie stepped out, hands on her waist.

‘The sweetheart neckline looks perfect.’

'It feels too young and frivolous.'

He stepped around, studying the lines of the dress. ‘You’ve lost weight again. Fortunately, there’s another part to the dress.’

Gabriel returned a minute later with a formal suit jacket in black satin.

Nathalie pulled it on and fastened the diamanté clasp. ‘Hm.’ She turned this way and that in the mirror. ‘It’s very reminiscent of Dior’s New Look.’

‘It suits you.’

‘Was that a pun?’

He quickly removed himself to the other side of the office. ‘You look lovely. But about the children. We have a new line of shoes—’

‘No.’ Nathalie combed her hair.

‘Jewellery?’

She fastened pins into her customary low knot. ‘I think you forget that I’m not Emilie and have no interest in baub—’

Gabriel braced himself. ‘What about that new accounting software programme you’ve been asking for?’

Nathalie stopped mid-pin. ‘Really?’

‘If that’s what it takes to guarantee your help for tonight.’

She slid the last pin in and held out her hand. ‘It’s been a pleasure doing business, Mr Agreste.’

They shook.

‘However, I will not be locking them in a closet. We will do this my way.’

‘Na-ath!’

‘Excuse me for not trusting your plans.’

‘Name one time—other than Mr Pigeon!’ Gabriel picked up his bowtie and set about tying it.

‘That’s been twenty-eight times.’

The bowtie was crooked.

‘Name any other time.’

‘How about the time you decided that an underage girl who owes you _nothin_g would be a good ally?’

Gabriel pouted.

‘And don’t do that.’ She redid his bowtie and fixed the lapels of his jacket. ‘It makes you look like Adrien.’

‘If you’re going to insult me—’

‘What?’ She fastened his cufflinks. ‘You’ll get another assistant willing to work an illegal number of hours under the table as well as keep mum about your supervillain alter-ego?’

He muttered beneath his breath.

Nathalie shook the lint roller at him. ‘Sir, Marinette is enough like you that her enmity would be detrimental at best to your plans.’

‘She won’t—’

‘Find out?’ Nathalie placed her hands on her hips. ‘Sir, do you want her to be your successor or your competitor?’

Gabriel’s jaw worked.

She stepped back. ‘Think it through. You’ll get there eventually.’

‘Fuck you.’ He marched out.

Nathalie checked her makeup in the mirror. ‘That’s certainly Adrien’s wish for us.’

She stepped out of the office just as the Gorilla ushered Marinette in.

Marinette waved. Her hair was pinned up in hot curlers. ‘Hi, Nathalie, Mr Agreste. My mom put my hair up like you asked. She said they should be ready to take out about the time my makeup is done.’

Gabriel’s smile was almost friendly. ‘Thank you, Miss Dupain-Cheng. If you’ll step into the office, Nathalie will—’

‘NAthalIE!’

All three adults sighed.

A puzzled Marinette looked towards Adrien’s room.

‘Nathalie,’ said Gabriel, ‘will you see to that? Miss Dupain-Cheng, if you’ll come with me.’

Nathalie gathered her skirts and climbed the stairs to Adrien’s room. She knocked.

He opened the door, dressed in his shirt sleeves. ‘I can’t find my braces!’

‘You’re wearing them.’

‘Oh, right.’ He pulled them onto his shoulders with a snap. ‘Can you help me?’

‘As far as grooming, your father would be a better person to ask.’

Adrien blushed. ‘It—it’s not about grooming. It’s about Marinette.’

‘You can have an emotional crisis on the way to tomorrow's show.’ She pushed him towards the bathroom. ‘Right now, you need to finish getting ready.’

‘Just, hear me out, please? Sit on my bed or something and just listen to me.’ He grabbed hair product and set about forming his hair into its normal waves.

Spying white streaks of what she hoped was Brie, Nathalie elected to lean against the doorframe, arms crossed in front of her.

‘…I mean, I love her so much.’ Adrien ran a hand through his bangs. ‘I’m just not sure if I’m ready for a lifelong commitment.’ He grabbed the edge of the counter. ‘What if she finds someone better? What’ll I do then?’ 

‘I didn’t think it possible, but apparently you’re an even bigger romantic than your father.’

Adrien turned and stared. ‘Father’s a romantic?’

‘You have no idea what he would do for your mother and all in the name of love.’ Nathalie patted the counter. ‘Sit here.’

He hopped up and laughed. ‘This feels familiar.’

‘What do you mean?’ Nathalie picked up the eyeliner.

‘I remember when I was five or six and fell backstage. Everyone was too busy being scared of Father to help. And then some new-hire had the audacity to haul my wailing self back to the kitchen and put a plaster on my knee.’

‘And pry half a dozen splinters from your hands and knees.’ Nathalie smudged his eyeliner with her thumb. ‘You’ve grown up into a fine young man. Never forget that.’

Adrien sniffed and hugged her, pressing his face against her shoulder.

Her knee-jerk reaction was to say ‘Mind the dress’. Instead, Nathalie wrapped her arms around him and held him close.

He shook with suppressed sobs. ‘There’s just so much happening.’

Nathalie made him sit up. ‘Listen. It’s normal to date many people before you get married.’

His chin trembled. ‘But I wanna marry Marinette!’

‘Agreste men and their emotions.’ Nathalie handed him a box of tissue. ‘Did you sleep at all this afternoon?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Obviously it wasn’t enough. Finish your cry; I’ll be back.’

Nathalie snuck down the stairs and to the kitchen. She brewed a batch of half-strength Resurrection Coffee.

As she slipped back upstairs, the mug hidden behind her voluminous skirts, she heard Gabriel and Marinette chatting.

Through the open door, Nathalie could see Gabriel arranging Marinette’s hair.

The man really would have done well with a second child, especially a daughter.

‘Do you fancy anyone?’ said Gabriel.

‘Yes, but he likes someone else.’

‘Obviously this boy is a complete moron.’

Marinette giggled.

Nathalie fled upstairs.

Adrien held a cold washcloth over his face. ‘Nathalie?’

‘This should wake you up.’

‘Ooh! Thank you!’ 

Nathalie fixed his makeup as he sipped at the coffee. She tucked a spray of snowdrops into his pocket, a sharp contrast to the black pocket handkerchief. She grimaced at the red lingering in his eyes. ‘What am I going to do with you?’

‘Do exactly this when I marry Marinette?’

That made her laugh.

‘Actually, no.’ He frowned. ‘You’ll be running back and forth between making sure Nino is keeping me from freaking out and that Father hasn’t bolted back to his office.’

Adrien downed the last of the coffee, the sparkle back in his eyes. ‘I’m ready. Thank you for that.’

‘Always a pleasure. Are you ready to see your princess now?’

His mouth dropped open. ‘How did—my secret—She’s going to kill me!’

‘You called Marinette that when we were in the bakery.’

Adrien’s face and ears bloomed. ‘Oops.’

‘There are worse pet names. Now, shoo! Downstairs!’

Adrien ran downstairs, a grin on his face.

Gabriel stepped out of the office. ‘There you are.’ He rubbed his hands together. ‘Are you ready to see her?’

‘Yes, please!’

Gabriel threw open the office doors.

Adrien’s mouth fell open. He gasped a phrase in Chinese.

Marinette spun slowly. The bell skirt flared around her ankles. Snowdrops in her curled hair echoed the embroidered flowers along her skirt and bodice. ‘How do I look?’

Gabriel hid a smile. ‘Adrien, she asked a question.’

Adrien drew a ragged breath. ‘“Hear my soul speak: The very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly to your service”.’

‘Okay,’ said Marinette. She looked at Gabriel. ‘What did he say?’


	17. RE: Hell in Low Heels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heels: High  
Contract: Signed  
Gabriel: Whipped
> 
> Honestly, Adrien could throw a raging party capable of being seen from the moon without protest.

Adrien’s leg bounced as the limousine—only pulled out for over the top occasions such as this—pulled to a stop by the red carpet. ‘Ready?’

‘I think so,’ said Marinette.

‘Do you—?’ He licked his lips. ‘Do mind if I hold your hand?’

Marinette’s cheeks pinked. She nodded.

Someone opened the door, and Adrien stepped out.

Flashbulbs exploded in his face.

Marinette climbed out behind him and adjusted her shawl.

Adrien took her hand and whispered, ‘Just smile and follow me. The cameras are always the worst part.’

Behind him, his father helped Nathalie from the car.

Marinette’s grip on his arm tightened.

Adrien patted her hand and continued their way along the red carpet. ‘Look! It’s Mrs Chamack!’

‘Oh, hi!’ Marinette waved, thankful for a familiar face.

Nadja Chamack shoved a microphone in Marinette’s face. ‘How does it feel to be Hawkmoth’s love interest?’

‘Uhhhhh…’

‘No comment!’ Adrien dragged Marinette along. ‘Sorry.’

Behind them, Gabriel seethed with rage.

‘I am surrounded by idiots, have to mingle with people I detest, and now I have to spend all night listening to people gossip about Hawkmoth’s romantic interests in a teenage girl!’

Nathalie pinched his arm and pasted on what passed for a smile: A slightly less intimidating resting bitch face.

Adrien squeezed Marinette’s hand as they stepped inside. ‘See, I told you that was the worst part.’

Marinette smiled as she handed off her shawl.

Gabriel said, ‘If anyone mentions anything about the Hawkmoth debacle, let me know and I will deal with them.’

Adrien snorted. ‘You mean Nathalie will deal with them.’

His father narrowed his eyes.

‘C’mon.’ Adrien took Marinette’ gloved hand and dragged her into the ballroom. ‘The fun part of this is making fun of—’

‘Oh, my stars!’ Marinette’s eyes glittered as they looked down on the crowd. She gripped the balcony railing. ‘Tell me I’m dreaming! There’s no way this is actually happening.’

Adrien kissed her hand. ‘It’s happening, princess. Who do you want to meet first?’

‘I don’t know. It’s kind of overwhelming.’ She giggled. ‘Who am I kidding? It’s a lot overwhelming.’

‘Luckily for you, you have a guide to this brave new world. I will be Miranda to your Ferdinand.’

‘You really like Shakespeare.’

‘Only when in the mood.’

They ran down the stairs and mingled with the crowd.

‘What do you normally do at these events?’ said Marinette, tearing her gaze away from an instantly recognisable design.

‘Grab food and hide in a corner with other teen models,’ said Adrien. ‘But I know how important the fashion world is for you. Tonight, we will do whatever you want.’

‘Really?’

He leaned in closer, bumping her forehead with his own. ‘Really.’

Marinette squeaked. ‘Um, well…’

‘I just have one request.’

‘Uh-huh?’

‘Will you, er,’ he rubbed the back of his neck, ‘go up to the balcony with me? It has an amazing view of Paris and I always…’

He ducked his head and mumbled the rest.

‘What did you say?’ said Marinette. ‘Oh, look! It’s Madame Rhyse!’

Adrien kept their fingers linked as they pressed through the crowd. Time to make his princess sparkle.

He would get her up to the balcony at some point tonight.

They bounced from designer to designer to model to old family friend to supplier to designer.

Marinette fanned her face. ‘I never thought about how hot it would be at these functions. I don’t envy your tuxedo.’

‘You could probably take your gloves off if you want,’ said Adrien. ‘Mom always did that as soon as she could.’

‘And where am I supposed to keep them?’

He patted his hips. ‘I happen to have some excellent pockets on hand.’

She laughed and handed over her gloves. ‘Thanks.’

‘Anything for you, Marinette.’

Her eyes widened.

He cleared his throat. ‘Are you thirsty at all?’

‘Uh, yes, yes please.’

‘Wait here—Johanna!’ Adrien waved to a nearby woman. ‘Will you chat with Marinette while I get some drinks?’

‘Not a problem,’ said the model.

Adrien made for the refreshment table.

Marinette was right. It was hot in here. Hotter than usual.

Moisture glistened on the champagne bottles.

Adrien looked around before grabbing two glasses of champagne.

He trotted through the crowd, thanking his delayed growth-spurt just this once. ‘A little champagne, a little moonlight on the balcony—Nathalie!’

Having materialized out of seemingly nowhere, Nathalie looked at the two glasses. ‘There are soft drinks on the other table.’

By some sleight of hand magic that Adrien couldn’t quite catch, she swapped the two flutes with two glasses of juice.

‘Oh, come on!’ Adrien very nearly stamped his foot.

Nathalie said, ‘You have a month until you can legally drink. Until then, you can sit here and drink a Capri Sun for all I care.’

Adrien drank his soft drink.

‘And yes, I am doing this in front of your girlfriend.’

Nathalie sidestepped the juice spewing from Adrien’s nose.

‘Ow…’ He wiped his nose with his jacket sleeve. ‘She’s just a friend, Nathalie.’

‘And Hell is just a sauna.’

‘What?’

‘Listen, I have an upcoming three-month vacation that says otherwise about your relationship status. Don’t jeopardise it.’

‘Butbutbut—’

‘I’ll make sure at least one pair of Ladybug-themed pyjamas are included in your birthday presents next month.’

Adrien hung his head. ‘Fine. But you can’t stop me after that.’

She snorted. ‘I won’t have to after your first hangover.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Champagne’s a bitch the morning—’

‘Nathalie Sancoeur, as I live and breathe!’

Nathalie expertly drained both champagne flutes at the same time before bothering to turn around. ‘Monsieur Blanches.’ She placed the flutes on a passing tray and took a new one.

‘Please, we’re friends,’ drawled the financier. ‘Call me Georges. How are you, Adrien?’

Adrien gave a curt nod. ‘I was quite well, Monsieur.’ 

Georges laughed. ‘You look more like your old man every day. Where is the old bastard?’

‘Here and there,’ said Nathalie guardedly.

The financier continued to study Adrien. ‘It’s almost unnerving how much he looks like his father at that age.’

Adrien resisted the urge to slip behind Nathalie.

Georges took him by the chin, turning his head this way and that. ‘Are we sure he isn’t a clone?’

Adrien jerked away and rubbed his jaw.

He slid his hand into Nathalie’s.

She squeezed it. ‘If you’re looking to speak with Mr Agreste—’

Georges grinned. ‘Why would I want to speak with him when his lovely assistant is here for all my needs?’

Adrien snapped, ‘I don’t think my father, the major contributor to this event, would appreciate your advances on his assistant.’

‘Look, kid; run along. You’ve got to have at least one friend here.’ He smiled. ‘Ms Sancoeur and I quite a bit of business to discuss.’

‘My answer from last season still stands,’ said Nathalie.

Georges chuckled. ‘Same old Ice Queen. The dress looks nice. Gabriel should have made it a little snugger for the old—’

‘Do you have original comments to make or shall I carry on with my job?’

‘You mean babysitting?’

Adrien said, ‘If you’ll excuse us, we need to speak with Danielle.’

‘See you around.’ Georges placed a hand on Nathalie’s shoulder and whispered in her ear.

Her mouth formed a thin line as she jerked away.

As soon as they were a decent distance away, Adrien said, ‘How long as he talked to you like that?’

‘He talks to everyone like that.’ Two spots of bright pink lit up her cheeks. ‘It’s nothing personal.’

Adrien skidded to a stop. ‘How long has he been harassing you like that?’

‘Ever since I was promoted to Executive Assistant. Based on my position, many people believe that by gaining influence or even straight up controlling me gives them an in to Gabriel.’

‘If he—if anyone said that to Mom, Father would have destroyed them!’

Nathalie stood with her hands locked behind her back. ‘I appreciate your concern, but I’m used to it. This sort of thing happens all the time.’

Adrien gnawed on his lower lip. ‘Is that why you said they call you a Frigid Bitch? Because you won’t sleep with them?’

She nodded slowly.

Adrien’s hands curled into fists. ‘I’m telling Father.’

‘No, you can’t!’ Nathalie grabbed his collar and yanked him back.

‘Why? He can protect you!’

‘Adrien.’ Nathalie looked around and dragged him to a couch in an alcove. ‘Your father and I are in a delicate position. Even before your mother disappeared, people assumed I got my position by sleeping with him. Imagine what they would think if your father—who is terrible at keeping his temper—went after someone who was known for harassing everyone?’

‘But where is the justice?’

Nathalie smiled darkly. ‘I have a long memory and a lot of patience. They may not remember their actions, but I will.’

‘Fine, I guess.'

‘Now, if anyone goes after you or Marinette, I will end them here and now. Understand?’

‘Yes, ma’am.’

‘Good. Where is Marinette?’

‘I left her with Johanna.’

‘Go rescue her before she dies of boredom.’

‘Will you be okay?’

‘Thank you for your concern, but I’ll be fine.’

Adrien tried to shrug off his unease and went to find Marinette.

Gabriel was studying a potted plant when Nathalie sidled up beside him.

IN a low voice, she said, ‘Hawkmoth, I’ve come to bargain.’

He stood up straight. ‘Remind me to never piss you off.’

They stepped behind the potted palms.

‘Who do you want Akumatized?’ he said.

‘I’m going to give you one freebie.' Her finger tapped rapidly against her glass. ‘Georges Blanches has been extremely rude.’

‘More than rude, based on your requesting a hit on him.’

‘He harassed Adrien.’

A dull red spread up Gabriel’s neck and over his face. ‘Where is he?’

Nathalie caught his arm and yanked him back behind the potted palm. ‘You have two options: Fight him here and now only to be thrown out and horribly embarrassed.’

‘Sounds enjoyable.’

‘How much have you had to drink?’

‘Not enough. What’s my other option?’

‘It’s your last chance for the next eight days to send out an Akuma. Make it a good one.’

‘Excellent.’ A little of the Hawkmoth gleam came into his eyes. ‘In exchange, make a scene. A big one. Throw champagne in his face, if you want.’

‘You’re too kind.’

‘Where should I—?’

‘Broom closet next to the kitchen.’

He kissed her cheeks, ignoring her grimace. ‘You’re an absolute angel.’

Gabriel trotted off,all but squealing in his excitement.

Nathalie rubbed her cheeks. ‘So gross.’


	18. More Issues than Vogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still not happy with this chapter, but I've written it five times now.

Adrien and Marinette waltzed around the ballroom. Adrien hummed along with the popular tune as he spun Marinette, a hand pressed to his back. ‘Have you ever danced before?’

‘Not like this,’ she said. ‘I think I’m in love with it.’ She spun back in. ‘You’re a very good teacher.’

‘Three years of ballroom and five years of ballet and tap do wonders.’ He navigated them around another couple.

‘Well aren’t you a Renaissance man? Music, dance, languages, a genius at academics—is there anything you can’t do?’

Marinette’s skirts swished as Adrien spun her lightly.

As she spun back, he brought their hands behind their heads and over their shoulders, forcing them to dance side by side. ‘You look beautiful, princess.’

‘Only because you’re making me look so,’ she said absently.

They resumed the classic form, his arm supporting her at the waist. 

‘_It’s Fate that brought us here_,’ murmured Adrien as the music swelled around them. ‘Just think: We wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for a coffee mix-up.’

‘Funny how the simplest thing can break down barriers.’ Her earrings brushed her jaw. ‘Your father helped me relax about tonight.’

‘Father? Putting people at east?’ Adrien shook his head. ‘I guess there’s a first time for everything.’

Marinette grinned as they floated across the floor. ‘I don’t know. It just seems—I feel more relaxed away from everyone. It’s like we’re in our own little world with no consequences.’

The song ended, and the dancers applauded the quintet.

‘You bitch!’

Chairs scraped and fabric rustled as everyone turned to stare.

Georges Blanches wiped champagne from his face. ‘A simple no would have sufficed!’ 

‘I already said no.’ Nathalie twirled an empty champagne flute in her fingers. ‘Be glad it was only champagne this time.’

Adrien and Marinette worked their way through the crowd.

Nathalie said something in a low voice.

Marinette grabbed Adrien’s hand. ‘Look!’

A black butterfly floated through the air.

‘That can be arranged!’ snapped Georges.

The butterfly merged with the pen in Georges Blanches’ breast pocket. The familiar pink butterfly appeared around his eyes.

Adrien pushed Marinette back into the crowd. ‘You have to get out of here.’

Black bubbles swept over Blanches.

Nathalie backed away.

‘What have you done?’ hissed a man’s voice.

A woman said, ‘Why did you have to upset the balance?’

The black bubbles faded to show an Akuma in a sharp white suit. His pen had turned to large feathery quill. He fixed Nathalie with his red eyes.

She ran, forcing her way through the crowd.

‘I will have my deal, Ms Sancoeur!’ The Akuma flicked his wrist and unrolled a blank scroll. He flicked a nearby man with his pen.

The man disappeared and a signature appeared on the scroll.

Only then did people run.

Adrien lost Marinette in the rush. He ducked into an alcove and opened his jacket.

Plagg stretched and yawned. ‘Just so you know, your heart’s beating at an alarming rate for being with just a friend.’

‘Did you miss the update? I’m in love with her!’

‘Well, la-di-da! Just get me something from the cheese platter.’

‘Deal. Plagg, claws out!’

Chat Noir jumped out of the alcove and ran towards the Akuma.

He saw Nathalie shepherding Marinette towards the door, an arm around the girl’s shoulders.

‘Hey, White Out!’ Chat Noir jumped onto a chandelier. ‘Don’t you know this is a business free zone?’

‘Chat Noir! A pleasure to meet you. My name is Carte Blanche.’ The Akuma smiled, exposing his teeth. ‘Hawkmoth has given me the freedom to do whatever I want.’

‘That doesn’t sound smart on Hawkmoth’s part. What if you go off and do your own think like every other Akuma?’

Carte Blanche threw the pen.

Chat Noir dodged the flying pen and landed on the floor. ‘If you want an autograph, all you have to do is ask.’

‘The only thing I need your signature on is a restraining order!’ Carte Blanche flicked the scroll. It rippled all the way up to the hero.

Chat Noir stepped aside. ‘Pathetic ripple; four out of ten. As for the restraining order: My apologies but I’m much too lovable to be told to go away forever.’ Chat Noir mimed licking his hand. ‘You must be one of those people who hates rainbows and free ice cream.’

Carte Blanche’s pen caught another person. ‘Run along, kitten. I don’t have any use for you.’

‘You wouldn’t happen to be a love Akuma, would you?’

‘Only if you’re looking to get married.’

Chat Noir pressed a hand to his chest. ‘I’ll have you know that I am loyal only to my Ladybug. The moment she says “yes”, I’ll look you up.’

‘I’m glad we have a deal, then.’

The Akuma spotted Nathalie and Marinette by the door.

Carte Blanche bowed. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a deal to make good on.’ 

Nathalie shoved Marinette through the door.

Carte Blanche whipped the scroll about and caught Nathalie, throwing her onto the ground.

Chat Noir’s ears flattened. He ran to rescue her. 

The Akuma yanked the scroll towards him, taking Nathalie with him.

‘Well, my pretty—’

‘This isn’t _Faust _or _The Little Mermaid_,’ said Nathalie. ‘Don’t get too excited.’

‘Translation: She’s out of cares to give,’ said Chat Noir from his position on the stairs. His ears pricked forward at a familiar whirring sound.

Ladybug landed next to him. ‘What sort of Akuma is that?’

‘One who likes to make deals,’ said Chat Noir, crossing his arms. ‘Mind the quill. It turns you into a signature.’

Ladybug looked from the Akuma to her partner and back again. ‘You don’t exactly seem to be in a hurry.’

‘I know the guy from my day job.’ Chat Noir’s tail twitched. ‘He’s had it coming for a long while by all accounts.’

‘Ah.’ Ladybug rubbed the back of her head. ‘A pity I hurried over.’

Chat Noir gave a cheeky grin. ‘You don’t really mean that.’

‘I was having the most amazing evening, so yes, I do.’

‘Meowch! My Lady is sassy tonight.’

Ladybug threw her yoyo and yanked Nathalie away from Carte Blanche.

‘Give her back!’ said the Akuma.

‘You didn’t say “please”,’ said Chat Noir tauntingly.

‘I have _carte blanche_. I can do whatever I want.’

Ladybug rolled her eyes and set Nathalie down. ‘I really don’t have time for this. Lucky Charm!’

The Lucky Charm landed lightly in her hand.

Chat Noir frowned at the item in her hand. ‘What is that?’

She held it up. ‘A sandal? What am I supposed to do with that?’

Nathalie lowered her glasses, as if verifying that what she thought she was seeing was in fact what was in Ladybug’s hand. She took a generous step back. ‘That isn’t a sandal; that’s the greatest weapon known to humankind: The chancla.’

‘The what-what?’ said Chat Noir.

Ladybug’s eyes grew huge. ‘Oh! That’s what Ni—er, a friend was talking about!’ She turned it over in her hand. 

Nathalie’s eyes narrowed. ‘Aim for the head.’

Ladybug looked around, scrunching her nose up as she looked for the plan. ‘Chat, I’m going to—’

His ears drooped. ‘You need me to be the bait?’

‘Please and thank you!’

‘Fine. But you owe me an ice cream!’ He saluted his Lady and slid down his pole. ‘Hey, lawyer-man!’

‘I’m a financier!’ roared the Akuma. He looked from Ladybug to the nuisance lounging on the floor.

‘Whatever. You still scam people out of hard-earned money.’

Carte Blanche threw his pen.

Ladybug threw the chancla.

The pen missed Chat Noir.

The chancla struck Carte Blanche right between the eyes.

Chat Noir applied his cataclysm to the pen.

Ladybug purified the butterfly and threw the Lucky Charm into the air.

The ballroom returned to its normal form and a dozen people reappeared, all chattering in confused tones.

The bubbles faded from Georges Blanches.

Chat Noir strolled up and clamped a hand on the man’s shoulder. ‘Excuse us, but Ladybug and I would like to have a discussion with you.’

‘Really?’

Ladybug tilted her head and smiled innocently. ‘Most definitely.’

Nathalie watched the heroes disappear with Georges Blanches. Curious, not that she could complain.

Chat Noir’s smile was more predatory than not.

People filtered back into the ballroom.

‘Where is he?’ said someone.

‘Ladybug and Chat Noir wanted to speak with him,’ said someone else.

‘Long overdue.’

Nathalie disappeared into the crowd and navigated her way to the kitchen.

The musicians struck up a new waltz.

Waiters brought out fresh food and drink.

Nathalie waited for them to pass before yanking the broom closet door open.

Gabriel waved at her from his position on the floor. ‘How’d I do?’

‘Pathetic.’ She reached in and yanked him to his feet. ‘How much have you had to drink?’

He waved his empty glass. ‘Nooroo is a light weight. I swear I used to have a better tolerance.’

Gabriel put an arm around her waist. ‘You look lovely tonight.’

‘Sir.’

He pulled her out to the dance floor.

As much as she hated to admit it, Nathalie was too honest to not appreciate Gabriel’s skill as a dancer.

The doors flew open.

Ladybug deposited a roughed-up Georges Blanches on the landing.

Chat Noir blew a kiss to the crowd.

They disappeared amongst the cheers of the crowd.


	19. ‘…How Ardently I Admire and Love You.’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who wants some Adrinette? 
> 
> Yes, I listened to sappy recordings of 'La Vie en Rose' to improve the mood (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blY5aYXVnC4 ).

Chat Noir hid behind a statue. His transformation dropped.

Plagg spun out. ‘Oh,’ he moaned.

‘That was too close.’ Adrien looked around.

‘Cheese…’

‘I’ll try and grab something from the food table. Just hold still for now.’

Plagg squinted at his Wielder. ‘You better hope that Hawkmoth doesn’t send anything out between then and now.’

‘Just keep quiet.’ Adrien shoved the Kwami beneath his jacket.

He adjusted his tie as he ran down the corridor. He skidded to a stop in front of a gilded mirror and fixed his hair.

‘Adrien?’

He stopped mid-swipe. ‘Marinette!’ He ran to her and took her hands. ‘Are you all right?’

She nodded. ‘Nathalie got me out before the Akuma could hurt me.’

Adrien noticed the shaking of her earrings. ‘Did it frighten you? You’re trembling.’

‘I heard the man who was the Akuma screaming. Do you think Chat Noir and Ladybug—?’

‘Whatever they did was more than deserved. Don’t you trust them?’

Marinette bit her lip. ‘Well, they are only people and people make mistakes.’

Adrien stroked her cheek. ‘Princess, “our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win”.’

She raised an eyebrow. ‘You’re speaking in English again.’

‘Uh, er,’ his hand dropped. ‘Sorry. I just—Shakespeare.’

They stared at the floor.

Adrien took a deep breath. ‘Would you like to join me on the balcony? We could probably use a breather after all that excitement.’

Marinette nodded.

They had to pass through the ballroom to get to the balcony.

Adrien looked for Nathalie, standing on his toes to see better.

She and his father spun about the dance floor.

They looked almost relaxed.

Adrien nearly whistled with glee as he swiped two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter. He handed one to Marinette and took her hand.

‘Stolen champagne?’ said Marinette. ‘Is the golden boy only now revealing his true self?’

Adrien blushed. ‘Well…’

‘I’m teasing. I’m impressed that you managed to be successful.’

‘This is my third attempt of the evening.’

‘Maybe Ladybug left some of her good luck for you. Third time’s the charm, after all.’

They giggled as they climbed a flight of stairs to the next level. They passed through a long corridor.

Adrien paused in front of the double doors. ‘Are you ready for the second-best view in all of Paris?’

Marinette nodded.

‘Close your eyes.’

‘What’s behind the door, _minou_?’

His heart nearly leapt from his chest. He cleared his throat. ‘You’re that kid at Christmas, aren’t you?’

She stuck her tongue out and closed her eyes. ‘Ready when you are.’

‘No peeking!’ Adrien took her hand. ‘Mind the lip.’

He guided her to the railing. ‘All right; open your eyes!’

Marinette blinked her eyes open. ‘Oh—oh, Adrien!’

The Eiffel Tower stood directly in front of them. The lights of the city stretched out as far as they could see.

On the pavement across the street, a busker played a simple melody on his accordion.

‘This is—this is—’

Adrien could have stared at her expression of wonder for the rest of his life.

The busker changed to a new tune, smiling and nodding his thanks as people dropped change in his case.

Marinette rested her arms on the railing and smiled, lips parted, at the sight below. ‘I can’t even imagine what the best view in Paris looks like,’ she whispered.

Adrien rested his chin in his hand and smiled.

The busker changed to a rendition of _La Vie en Rose_.

A light mist coated everything, softening the glare of the lights to a gentle glow.

Marinette shivered. ‘Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more romantic.’

‘I ordered it specially for you.’

Her eyes widened. ‘Oh, no! Sorry! Did I say that out loud?’

Adrien chuckled. ‘It’s fine. It’s exactly what I’m thinking.’ He held up his glass. ‘To Paris?’

She smiled. ‘To the greatest city on earth.’

They tapped their glasses together and sipped.

Both gagged.

‘Oh, that’s gross!’ Marinette coughed and looked at her flute. ‘Why does everyone make such a big deal about this?’

Adrien scraped his tongue across his upper teeth. ‘How did Nathalie down two glasses of this at the same time?’ He rubbed his nose, annoyed by the bubbles.

‘She did? When?’

‘Before the Akuma attack. The idiot who got Akumatized was super rude to her.’

Marinette studied her glass and jerked her head in a determined nod. ‘I feel better now about what happened with the Akuma victim.’ She sipped the champagne again. ‘It’s not so bad the second time.’

Adrien set his aside. ‘I think I’ll wait until I’m older to try it. Maybe it’s something you have to learn how to drink properly.’

‘Most things are.’ She laughed. ‘Maman always says that the best things are learned if just for the satisfaction of conquering it.’ Marinette shivered again.

‘Are you cold?’

‘I’m fine.’

‘You don’t have to be brave around me, princess.’ Adrien removed his tuxedo jacket and draped it around her shoulders. ‘Better?’

She swayed. ‘Mhmm!’

He patted her shoulder. ‘It looks good with your dress.’

‘Flatterer.’ Marinette stretched and resumed her position against the railings. ‘How did you know about this spot?’

‘Father would always bring Mom up here. They said it was where he proposed to her.’

‘Gosh. That really is romantic.’

Adrien ran a finger along hers. ‘It’s the most romantic spot in Paris.’

She stared, fixated, on the movement of his hand. ‘Really?’

‘Ever since I was little, I always wanted to bring the love of my life up here.’ 

She shivered but not from the cold.

‘And kiss beneath the lights of the Eiffel Tower.’

‘That sounds wonderful,’ whispered Marinette. 

Adrien said, ‘Marinette?’

‘Mm?’

‘I love you. Most ardently.’

She blinked. Once.

Twice.

Three times.

‘I’m sorry?’

‘I love you.’

The colour rushed into Marinette’s face. ‘You do? Since when? What about La—?’

‘“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation—”’

Marinette’s breathing became laboured.

She placed a hand on her chest.

‘“—It is too long ago. I was in the middle”,’ he stroked her face, ‘“before I knew that I had begun”.’

They stood frozen, his hand upon her cheek, their hands clasped over the railing.

She fainted.

In the best of fair-maiden fashion, Marinette Dupain-Cheng fainted dead away.

Adrien stared at her lying on the stone floor, mouth open.

Plagg poked his head out. ‘Well done, Romeo. Where’s my cheese?’

That broke Adrien from his shock. ‘Shit! She actually fainted!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hard being fifteen.


	20. The Apple and the Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I said this was a gabenath free fic?   
*holds a boozed Gabriel by the collar and glares at him* ‘“So that was a fucking lie”.’  
I swear this fandom is cursed; the objective was to make them friends/equals. Still is, but SOMEONE decided to get flirty while boozed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for all of your wonderful comments. They brighten my day in ways that I can't describe. This fic wouldn't be half of what it is without all of you, so thank you for all of your support! 
> 
> I wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving, a Happy Friendsgiving, and best of luck with final exams because we're going to need it, let's be real.

As ridiculous as the large skirts were, Nathalie had to admit they were fun.

A lot of fun.

They swished and swayed in a satisfying way as she danced about the ballroom.

With the jewels, the music, and the easy comfort, she could almost believe that she was there in her own right. Not because she was paid to be there, but because she wanted to be.

‘You look relaxed tonight,’ said her partner, Octavio Gris, the head of marketing for Audrey Bourgeois’ flagship magazine.

‘Exercise releases endorphins,’ she said as they foxtrotted around the room. 

‘And “happy people just don’t shoot their husbands”.’

Nathalie laughed. ‘That’s the theory, at least. Is that still Mathilde’s favourite film?’

‘No, thank goodness. I think we all have it memorised at this point. She’s moved on to _Ten Things I Hate About You_.’

‘A less popular but no less iconic film.’

‘Speaking of popular and iconic,’ said Octavio, ‘what is the latest on the _Gabriel _ads?’

‘Officially?’

Octavio grinned as he dipped her. ‘If I wanted official, I would have asked PR.’

‘Unofficially,’ Nathalie brought her hand back to rest on his shoulder, ‘Mr Agreste landed somewhere between a mid-life crisis and an attempt to reconcile himself to Madame’s continued absence.’

‘Sounds like hell.’

The music ended.

‘Another dance?’ said Octavio.

A man coughed.

They looked and saw Gabriel.

‘If I may interrupt,’ he said. ‘Ms Sancoeur, may I have this dance?’

He held out his hand.

Nathalie placed her hand in his.

A slow waltz began.

She arched her back as Gabriel guided her through the steps.

They spun about the floor.

Nathalie relaxed into his grip, his confidant lead.

He could be an absolute idiot, but she trusted him.

Just for now.

They waltzed in comfortable silence, listening to the couples around them.

The song was almost over when Gabriel said, ‘I forgot how enjoyable this can be.’

Nathalie smiled and nodded, too caught up in the music.

The music ended.

Her skirts stilled.

They stood to one side of the dancefloor.

‘Nathalie.’

She blinked and looked into his eyes, recognising the questioning look.

The conductor announced a new song. 

Gabriel tilted his head.

‘Father! Nathalie!’

Nathalie slipped from Gabriel’s arms. ‘Adrien?’

Adrien darted in between the dancing couples. ‘It’s Marinette! Please hurry!’

Nathalie gathered her skirts in her hand and ran after the teen, Gabriel close behind.

Halfway up the stairs, Nathalie stopped, trying to calm her breathing.

Gabriel paused at the top of the stairs before jogging back to her. ‘Are you all right?’

She nodded. ‘Dress and shoes.’

Adrien bounced at the top of the stairs.

Gabriel wrapped an arm about her waist and guided her up the rest of the stairs.

They found Marinette lying on couch. Adrien’s jacket lay over her.

‘What happened?’ Nathalie felt Marinette’s forehead.

‘I told her I love her and then she fainted!’

‘Did she hit her head?’ Nathalie sat and put Marinette’s feet in her lap. ‘How long ago was this?’

‘You told her you love her?’ said Gabriel.

‘I didn’t know she would faint!’ Adrien sniffed and wiped at the tear tracks on his face.

‘_Tontos idiotas._’ Nathalie pressed her palms together and focussed on her breathing. ‘You are worse than your father.’

Gabriel placed an arm around his son’s shoulders and whipped out his handkerchief. ‘That was very brave and very foolish.’

‘Only because of the consequences,’ said Nathalie with a snort. She shook Marinette’s shoulder.

The girl mumbled, eyelashes fluttering.

Adrien wiped his nose on the handkerchief.

Wind whipped through the open balcony doors.

‘You brought her up here?’ said Gabriel.

Adrien nodded, fresh tears spilling down his face.

Gabriel stood in the doorway and studied the scene. ‘It even more lovely than I remember.’

‘Sir, please come back inside before you fall ill.’

He closed the doors. ‘So many happy memories here…’

Adrien fidgeted. He started to chew on the cuff of his sleeve.

Nathalie batted his hand away. ‘Stop that.’

He shoved his hands in his pockets.

‘Adrien?’ said his father. ‘You really love her?’

Adrien nodded. ‘It just feels right, like nothing bad can ever happen.’

Gabriel turned ashen but nodded. ‘I know exactly what you mean.’

‘Is this…’ Adrien twisted the handkerchief in his hands. ‘Is this how you felt about Mom?’

‘It is exactly how I feel about your mother. Never doubt that.’

Adrien looked like he was about to ask a question when Marinette sat up.

He knelt by the couch. ‘Are you all right, princess?’

Marinette nodded. ‘A little confused, but—’

She reached out and touched his face. ‘_Mon minou_.’

Adrien lit up like a Christmas tree. His hand reached up to cup hers.

Nathalie ran her hands through her hair.

A dozen hairpins scattered and disappeared into the couch and neighbouring shadows.

Three would be found in a potted plant the next morning. 

‘We should go home,’ said Nathalie.

‘The night is young,’ said Gabriel.

‘Perhaps, but you and I aren’t, and frankly, I’m a little afraid of what other damage Adrien can conjure up.’

‘As long as I can be with my Princess,’ whispered Adrien.

Nathalie buried her face in her hands and prayed for patience.

As the limousine took them home, Marinette dozed with her head on Adrien’s shoulder.

He rested his head on hers.

Their fingers lay interlaced between them.

Gabriel beamed. ‘It worked. My plan worked.’

‘Uh-huh.’ Nathalie’s thumb blindly swiped across emails on her phone. It was a fight just to keep her head up.

Gabriel pried the phone from her hand.

Nathalie’s hand remained in the holding position, her thumb scrolling through the air. A few seconds passed before she said, ‘My phone?’

‘Confiscated until you sleep.’ Gabriel tucked it in his breast pocket. ‘Are you staying tonight?’

‘Considering I have to escort Adrien to the first show by 8:30, I believe it would be bes—’ She interrupted herself with a massive yawn. ‘Best.’

Her eyelids were so heavy.

The car rolled to a stop.

‘Nathalie?’

‘Hm?’ Her head was pressing into something hard. It smelled good.

‘We’re home. Time to wake up.’

She pried her eyes open and squinted.

The hard thing was Gabriel’s shoulder.

Nathalie jerked back, hitting her head on the limousine roof. ‘Ow. Sorry, sir, it—’

‘It’s all right. You’re tired. Help me wake those two up.’

Waking Adrien was simple enough. He stumbled into the house by himself and went straight to his bedroom. 

The Gorilla all but carried Marinette inside.

Nathalie shoved the girl into a dressing room with her street clothes. ‘We’ll take you home as soon as you’ve changed.’

Marinette mumbled a thank you.

Nathalie closed the door and went to the office. She set about removing the borrowed jewellery.

The earrings glittered brilliantly in the low lighting.

Gabriel walked in with two glasses of whiskey. He set one on the desk and rested his hand on her shoulder. ‘You truly looked lovely tonight.’

‘Thank you, sir.’ Nathalie reached for the necklace.

‘Allow me.’ He set his drink down and smoothed her hair to one side.

Nathalie kept her breathing regular as his hands brushed her shoulders.

She took her drink and retreated to the other side of the desk as he lovingly placed the necklace in its box.

Gabriel took his drink. ‘To a successful evening.’

‘Indeed.’ Nathalie tapped his glass with hers and sipped the contents.

‘I couldn’t have done this without you. I know Adrien has commitments in the morning, but sleep—’

‘Your Miraculous,’ she said dully.

‘What about it?’

Energy in the form of panic flooded Nathalie. ‘I’m such an idiot. Your collar is open and your bowtie undone. Where is your Miraculous?’

They looked through his clothes. Nathalie retraced their steps and looked through the car while Gabriel ensured it hadn’t fallen amongst his clothing.

They met in the middle of the foyer.

‘Did you—?’

‘No. And you didn’t—?’

He shook his head.

Adrien’s footsteps echoed from the gallery.

Nathalie shoved Gabriel into the office and slammed the door.

He sank into a chair, the glass of whiskey clutched in his hand. ‘Emilie,’ he whispered.

‘You lost a Miraculous.’ Nathalie allowed the panic to rise. ‘Oh, my God. Oh, my God!’ 

Gabriel buried his face in his hands.

The great black skirts swished along the floor as Nathalie paced. ‘…We can ask, but what it even look like? Will that be enough to connect us to Hawkomth?’

‘There’s nothing we can do tonight.’ Gabriel stood up, swayed, and sat back down. ‘We’ll have to wait until tomorrow.’

‘You lost a Miraculous, sir! How the _fuck _do you lose a Miraculous?’

Gabriel moaned. ‘You forget to cherish it.’

Nathalie paused her furious pacing. She pressed her palms together. ‘Sir, exactly how smashed are you?’

He hiccoughed.

‘How much have you had to drink, Gabriel?’ she snapped.

‘Enough.’ He held the whiskey to his forehead.

The ice clinked against the glass.

‘This is ridiculous,’ she said in disbelief. ‘Are you actually drunk? Do you realise—?’

Someone knocked on the door.

Nathalie ripped it open. ‘Five minutes.’

Adrien’s hand froze in mid-air. ‘But—’

‘Is something on fire?’

‘Well, no, but—’

‘Do you need an ambulance?’

‘No?’ He poked his head around Nathalie to look into the room.

‘Then you can wait five minutes for me to finish yelling at your father.’

She slammed the door shut.

Adrien’s muffled voice said, ‘Marinette needs a ride home!’

‘She can wait five minutes!’

Nathalie spun on her four-inch heel, the satin of her dress swishing appropriately, and continued her pacing. ‘We’re going to have to find a way to ask Ladybug and Chat Noir if they found it.’

Gabriel rubbed an eye with the palm of his hand. ‘Just post on the Ladyblog.’

‘You really think that brat of a blogger doesn’t know how to track an IP address?’ Nathalie froze. ‘Good Lord.’

He blinked blearily at her.

‘What if someone else finds the damned thing?’ Her breathing was too fast. It felt like a hand was squeezing her windpipe.

Gabriel staggered over to her. He placed a hand on her back. ‘Breathe in, breathe out.’

‘Why are you so calm? How the hell are you so calm?’

It was a mercy for everyone when she passed out.


	21. When You Dig Yourself into a Hole…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next two chapters are filler/fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theory: Working graveyard for the duration of Dead Week and Finals Week (someone has to keep the campus library open) will allow me to write absolute buckets!
> 
> Reality: Dead Week sucks even when you're not a student.

‘Marinette needs a ride home!’

‘She can wait five minutes!’

Adrien scratched the back of his head.

Nathalie’s muffled shouts continued from the other side of the white door.

Marinette fidgeted on the stairs, hands shoved in her blazer pockets. ‘Are they okay?’

‘Not sure. I’m trying to remember the last time I saw Nathalie lose her cool.’ Adrien shoved his hands into the pocket of his _Gabriel-_branded hoodie. ‘Sorry; I’m not sure what’s going on.’

‘It’s fine.’ She yawned. ‘I can wait five minutes.’

‘Do you want to lie down on the couch and wait? Father seemed really laid back, but he might decide to give her a dressing down—’

Marinette bounced on her toes. ‘If she’s comfortable enough to yell at him, I doubt he’s in any position to argue.’

Adrien grinned. ‘Good point.’ He sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him. ‘Care to join?’

‘You watch too many movies.’

‘Sure, but you’ve got the “I’m so tired I’m hyper” that my mom would get.’

Marinette rolled her eyes but sat next to him.

Adrien stretched and mock casually placed an arm across the back of the couch.

She stuck her tongue out a little. ‘You’re ridiculous.’

He brushed her nose with his. ‘Utterly ridiculous?’

Marinette’s eyes widened before a sly smile slid across her face.

Two could play at this game.

She snuggled closer and hooked her legs across his lap, resting her head against his chest.

Adrien thought for sure his head would explode. If he didn’t pass out first because MARINETTE WAS ON HIS LAP!

Damned hormones.

She took his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders.

He almost wished he could purr out of the suit. Almost.

What did hormones do anyway, huh? Were they ever not a problem?

Marinette rubbed her face on his hoodie and pulled up a news site on her phone.

As she scrolled, Adrien pressed his nose into her hair and sniffed. His father’s favourite brand of industrial hairspray (clear cement, for lack of a better description), a hint of strawberry shampoo…

He buried his nose a little deeper and discovered the wonderful smell of yeast and vanilla.

Marinette’s breathing slowed and grew even.

Her hand relaxed, dropping her phone on the couch.

Adrien rested his cheek against her hair, closing his eyes.

Yes, this was the girl he was going to marry.

When they were old enough.

And once he had bullied his father into accepting Marinette into the family.

Assuming he ever found the courage to bully his father?

Nathalie would help.

But not during Fashion Week. That was the fast-track to Disinherited-ville.

He dozed through the buzzing of the alarm at the front gate, through the opening of the office door and his father’s hurried steps.

The young couple stirred at the footsteps and conversation of paramedics entering the house. They blinked, trying to process the sight before them.

Gabriel hovered by the door, watching the paramedics at work.

‘Father?’ said Adrien.

‘Adrien, Marinette. You’re still awake?’ The designer rubbed his face. ‘My apologies.’

Adrien sat up, his arm still around Marinette. ‘What’s wrong?’

Gabriel blinked, remembering Adrien’s interruption. ‘Marinette needed to go home.’

‘Still does, but neither of us are complaining.’

A smile teased at the corner of Gabriel’s mouth. ‘She’ll be excellent for you.’

‘Uh, what?’

Gabriel sat in the chair opposite his son. ‘Nathalie passed out. I called emergency services when she wouldn’t wake up.’

‘Wouldn’t wake up?’ Adrien’s grip tightened on Marinette.

She squeaked in protest, still asleep. 

‘Sorry,’ Adrien whispered.

Gabriel said, ‘I have no idea how much she drank at the gala tonight.’

A lump of dread settled in Adrien’s stomach.

‘Do you have any idea how much coffee did she have today? And what kind of coffee was it?’

‘Not sure.’

‘How much?’

The teen stared at the top of Marinette’s head, desperate for any conversation but this.

‘Adrien, answer me.’

He beamed a smile at his father. ‘How much of what?’

Gabriel scowled. ‘Don’t use brand tricks on the person who taught them to you.’

Adrien muttered, ‘Pretty sure it was Mom, but whatever. I know she had a cup of Resurrection Coffee before leaving for the gala. My bodyguard made it, so maybe it was just a placebo.’

Marinette stirred. ‘Coffee?’ She blinked her eyes open.

‘Resurrection Coffee,’ said Adrien.

‘And that was on top of her cup this morning.’ Gabriel buried his face in his hands. ‘Is everyone in my household conspiring against me?’

‘It’s “Strong enough to wake the dead and send a nearly-dead MBA student to the emergency room”.’

Marinette squinted. ‘Resurrection Coffee? Was that the coffee I drank by mistake?’

Uh-oh.

The last bit of Relaxed!Gabriel oozed away as his father’s features settled into their habitual scowl. ‘Adrien?’

‘Ummm,’ Adrien scrubbed furiously at his neck. ‘I may have pestered Nathalie into giving me some.’

‘Define “some”.’

‘A full mug,’ said Marinette.

Adrien gave her a dirty look. ‘Thanks for ratting us out.’

‘If it wasn’t for Ladybug’s cure, I would have been in the hospital! And now Nathalie’s had two rounds of that plus however many drinks at the gala? You mentioned she downed two things of champagne at the same time!’

‘Fuck,’ muttered Gabriel.

The teens stared.

Gabriel took out his phone and pulled up a number. ‘This is Gabriel Agreste…Yes, I’m more than aware of what time it is…’

Adrien buried his face in Marinette’s shoulder. ‘Just let the ground swallow me up.’ 

‘I need her emergency contact…Then find it!’

‘Or better yet, the next Akuma.’

Marinette awkwardly reached around and patted Adrien on the head.

They watched Gabriel pace around, scowling and cursing beneath his breath.

A paramedic stepped out. ‘She’s conscious, sir, and is refusing to go to the hospital.’

‘She’ll go,’ growled Gabriel.

‘Like hell I will!’ yelled Nathalie from the office.

Adrien tried to make himself smaller behind Marinette. ‘Can I stay with you?’

‘Gladly.’ She called her parents for a ride.

Gabriel and Nathalie were still arguing when Adrien and Marinette slipped out the front door and into the Dupain-Cheng family car.

‘Thanks, Maman,’ said Marinette as she buckled up.

‘Not a problem,’ said Sabine. ‘It’s better than waking up and wondering why you’re not home yet.’ She smiled into the rear-view mirror. ‘Adrien, are you still quoting Shakespeare?’

‘It’s not so bad now.’

The mist had turned into a steady rain as they drove along the Seine.

Once home, they found a pyjama-wearing Tom had made up a bed on the couch.

Adrien set a hurriedly-packed bag on the floor. ‘Thank you, sir.’

Tom ruffled his hair. ‘There’s no “sir” here. I’m just a baker happy to help one of my daughter’s friends out.’

‘Sorry to wake you up,’ said Marinette.

Sabine clicked her tongue. ‘I know it’s because of her job, but that woman really needs to learn to take better care of herself. Speaking of, Adrien, are you hungry at all?’

‘No, thank you.’

‘All right, then. We have to be up in two hours. We’ll leave Marinette to show you where everything is.’

Marinette hugged her parents goodnight and submitted to unusually extravagant goodnight kisses.

As soon as they closed the door to their room, she made a show of wiping her cheeks.

Adrien interrupted his chuckle with a huge yawn. ‘Sorry.’

‘You’re fine. Help yourself to water and the bathroom’s over there.’ She looked at her hands. ‘Sorry tonight ended on such a sour note.’

He tilted her chin up. ‘I’m ending the night with my princess. How can it be sour?’

Marinette planted her fists by her side, stood on her toes, and kissed his cheek. ‘Night!Bye!’

She shot upstairs and dropped the trapdoor to her bedroom.

Adrien touched his cheek.

Plagg phased out of the hoodie pocket. ‘You should wipe that lovestruck smile off your face before her parents wake up.’

He went directly to the overnight bag. ‘Did you remember to get cheese?’

‘I grabbed a wheel. You’re going to have to ration it if you don’t want to be reduced to eating the best cheese bread in the world.’

‘Ugh, carbs.’

Adrien lay down on the couch. He pulled the covers up to his chin, perfectly comfortable.

Plagg curled up on his chest, tucking his nose under his paw.

Adrien’s eyes shot open. ‘Plagg?’

‘Whatever it is, no.’

‘I should check and see if Ladybug sent a message after tonight. She seems upset by our conversation with Georges.’

‘Or you could wait and check in after tomorrow’s delicious breakfast.’

‘I won’t be able to sleep until I check.’.

Plagg groaned as he spun into the ring.

Sure enough, Ladybug had left a message asking him to meet her at Notre Dame.

Chat Noir crawled through the window and into the night.


	22. Bless Their Hearts (Translation: Look at These Idiots)

Chat Noir jogged along the rooftops, humming to himself.

Just in the last hour, the rain had turned into snow. The heavy flakes stuck in his hair and tried to get into his eyes.

He simply batted his lashes at them and they cleared away.

The superhero cleared a jump from one block of buildings to another and ducked under a length of laundry left out overnight on its clothesline.

Ladybug waited on top of the North Towers of Notre Dame.

As soon as Chat Noir landed beside her, she said, ‘You got here quickly.’

‘Time waits for no man and no Ladybug.’

She laughed before slipping behind a spot sheltered from the wind. ‘Thanks for coming. I’m really sorry about how late it is.’

‘No worries, Buginette. I couldn’t sleep anyways.’

‘Liar. You’re a cat.’ She bounced on her toes. ‘But look what I found!’

Chat Noir studied the item in her hand. ‘A brooch?’

‘Not just any brooch!’ She pinned it on.

A tiny purple Kwami appeared. ‘Ma-Mistress!’

Ladybug took the Kwami in her hands. ‘It’s okay, Nooroo. You can call me Ladybug.’

He bowed to her. ‘It’s an honour, Ladybug.’ He turned and smiled at Chat Noir. ‘Chat Noir, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.’

‘Right back at you!’ Chat Noir’s eyes widened. ‘Hawkmoth!’

‘I know!’ Ladybug’s entire body shimmied in excitement. ‘We have Hawkmoth’s Miraculous! Do you know what this means?’

‘We can finally reveal our identities to each other?’ he said with a sly grin.

‘No! I mean, well, actually yes—but come on!’ She stamped her foot.

Nooroo giggled.

Ladybug patted his head. ‘It means no more Hawkmoth! It means no more interrupted commitments! I can finally do homework without interruption! ’

‘It means we can finally get a full night’s sleep after texting each other too late!’

‘Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of getting a full night’s sleep?’

‘Does it matter? I can pester you with cat emojis all day and all night.’

‘Pfft!’ Ladybug swatted at his arm. ‘What makes you think I’ll just hand over my phone number upon learning our identities?’

Chat Noir scratched the back of his head. ‘I guess that’s a fair point. And my girlfriend might get jealous.’

‘Girlfriend? Since when—?’

‘Uh, well, since kind of sort of this evening?’ He sighed, eyes glazing over. ‘“And when love speaks, the voice of all the gods makes heaven drowsy with the harmony”.’

Ladybug’s eyes narrowed. One eyebrow sprang up. ‘Are you quoting Shakespeare by any chance?’

Chat Noir inhaled sharply and choked on a clump of snowflakes. ‘Sorry, yes. It’s a problem Na—my sister! My sister is trying to groom me out of.’

‘“Groom”? Did she inherit the cat genes as well?’

Chat Noir set his hands on his hips. ‘I’ll have you know that she would be an even better cat than I.’

‘Sure. How long has this been going on for?’

‘Just today. My princess—’

Nooroo and Ladybug exchanged glances as Chat Noir waxed poetic about the love of his life.

‘Is he always like this?’ whispered Nooroo.

‘Not always. Only when someone brings up his current obsession.’ She sighed. ‘Of which there are many.’

‘Ah.’

It was sometime after the lyrical praise of Princess Chat’s raven tresses and bluebell orbs and before the absent musing of her skill in wielding a needle that Ladybug said, ‘Chat, as glad as I am that you’ve found a new mistress for your musings, it’s freezing and I would like to get some sort of sleep tonight.’

‘…Her beautiful fingers about the steel—’

She snapped her fingers under his nose.

Chat Noir jerked back to the present. ‘Apologies, My Lady.’

‘Not that I know much about dating, but I think most girlfriends would take exception to you calling me that.’

‘Right.’ He blinked. ‘Do you—do you want to reveal our identities?’

Ladybug chewed on her lower lip. ‘Ye-es.’

‘But?’

She closed her eyes and braced herself. ‘Tikki—’

‘Wait.’ Chat Noir took a deep breath. ‘Whatever happens, we’ll still be friends?’

Ladybug smiled and threw her arms around him, squishing Nooroo in between them. ‘You’ll always be my Chat Noir.’

He hugged her tightly and squeezed his eyes shut. ‘Plagg—’

‘Tikki—’

‘Claws in.’

‘Spots off.’ 

Green and pink light flashed.

Adrien inhaled deeply. Yeast and vanilla, strawberry shampoo—

His eyes flew open. His father’s favourite brand of industrial hairspray?

He stepped back and looked into Marinette’s blushing face.

Her jaw dropped. ‘Adrien?’

‘Marinette?’

Snow continued to fall as they gaped.

To one side, the Kwamis spun in circles around each other, creating a multi-coloured whirlwind in the snow. They squealed and shrieked, overjoyed at their reunion.

Marinette said, ‘You’re supposed to be asleep on the couch!’

‘You’re supposed to be asleep in your room!’

She pulled on her pigtails. ‘We’re supposed to be awake in four hours!’

‘We were together all night!’ Adrien ran his hand through his hair. ‘How and where did you find the brooch?’

‘It was in the skirt of my dress.’ She fiddled with the Miraculous at her neck. ‘I found it tangled in the skirt when changing at your house. Until I touched it, it looked almost like a tiny purple button.’

‘So it was lost, not surrendered.’

‘And they were at the gala.’

Adrien scoffed. ‘That narrows it down to a couple hundred people.’

‘It doesn’t matter. We have the Miraculous.’ Marinette grinned and ran a finger up his chest. ‘What’s this about a girlfriend?’

Adrien stared, fixated on the finger. ‘Buh.’

She tapped his nose. ‘That seems to be a favourite word of yours tonight.’

He took her hand and brushed his lips along it. ‘Just remember that “when I saw you, I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew”.’

Marinette swayed. ‘You’re an idiot.’

‘But I’m your idiot.’ He pouted and blinked his best kitten eyes. ‘A poor, cold idiot in desperate need of a loving lap to curl up in.’

‘Oh, my God. Tikki! Spots on!’

She transformed. ‘Race you home.’

‘Hey! Plagg! Claws out!’

‘Not again!’

Adrien inhaled the smell of the rich hot chocolate and continued humming.

He realised Marinette was staring at him from her end of the couch. ‘What?’

She clicked her tongue. ‘I can’t believe the guy I had a massive crush on it a pun-spewing, cat-suit wearing idiot.’

‘But I’m _your_ pun-spewing, cat-suit wearing idiot who comes with an excellent pedigree and a birth certificate longer than your parents’ lease on this building.’

Marinette rolled her eyes. ‘Rich people.’

‘Did I forget to mention that I’m the sole heir to a multi-billion-euro fashion house.’

‘Fair point. I guess I’ll keep you.’

Adrien sipped on the chocolate only to burn his mouth. ‘Hawth.’

Marinette’s fingers tapped the side of her mug. ‘So when you said that family commitments were keeping you busy, you really meant—’

‘Fashion Week.’ He fanned his mouth.

‘And when you talked about your sister?’

‘Nathalie. Ow.’ Adrien’s eyes were watering. ‘Do you have any ice?’

‘I told you it’s hot.’

‘Remember that part about me being an idiot?’

Plagg groaned from his perch on the shelf. ‘There’s no end to this now.’

Tikki giggled. ‘But this is your favourite part of every Chat Noir and Ladybug pairing!’

‘Pipe down, Sugarcube!’

Marinette’s hand swiped at them and caught Plagg. ‘You may think your grouchiness is going to save you, but all it does is make you cuter than a bug in a rug.’

‘Hey!’ said Tikki.

Nooroo continued with his sugar-induced but relief-based coma from the warmth and safety of an oven mitt.

Marinette dropped an ice on the floor. ‘Oh, no.’

‘What?’ whispered Adrien.

‘Nothing.’ She picked up the ice and set it quietly in the sink, well aware of her sleeping parents. ‘I should take my cocoa upstairs.’

‘Princess!’

‘Sh!’

‘You sh!’

‘Upstairs,’ hissed Tikki. ‘All of you!’

Marinette plunked an ice cube into Adrien’s hand before grabbing Nooroo and his oven mitt.

Once the trapdoor was shut, Adrien said, ‘What?’

‘I told you: It’s nothing,’ muttered Marinette.

Adrien lay on his back with his head on her knee. He blinked twice. ‘Will you tell me now?’

She covered her face with her hands. ‘It’s just—I realised that I’ve spent months fantasizing about our first kiss only to have had three kisses already!’

Adrien thought for a moment. ‘That was as Ladybug and Chat Noir, right?’

‘Uh-huh.’

He sat up and rested his chin on her shoulder. ‘But not as Adrien and Marinette.’

‘What are you saying?’

‘We could have that first kiss right now.’

Plagg looked directly at the camera. ‘End scene. Now!’


	23. Bless Their Hearts II (Translation: Look at These Other Idiots)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is your official warning that I've given up and the 'gabenath free' tag has been released back into the wild.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could I have ended the fic at the last chapter? 
> 
> Definitely. 
> 
> Should I have ended it there? 
> 
> Possibly. 
> 
> Will I? 
> 
> *mad cackling* Not when there is so much more crack to put The Gabriel Agreste hismelf through! All in the name of character development, of course.

Adrien was having the most wonderful dream: Ladybug was Marinette and her Lucky Charm was an endless supply of croissants. All the butterflies in Paris were unable to resist the temptation of the buttery goodness.

Hawkmoth’s screams could be heard across the city.

Ladybug purified the purple and black and Akuma. ‘Bye bye, little butterfly.’

It fluttered across her shoulder and settled on a croissant in Chat Noir’s hand.

He looked up and grinned at his Lady’s familiar smile.

‘Adrien?’

Adrien’s toes curled in his sleep. It was the same smile from when he took her up to the balcony.

‘Dude, wake up.’

He could look at that smile all day, every day.

‘Yo, Agreste!’

Ladybug took the croissants. ‘Miraculous Ladybug!’

The swirling pink ladybug faded as Adrien’s blanket was yanked away.

‘Ah!’

Alix threw the blanket at Nino and shook her head. ‘Disgusting. Sleeping over on the first date?’

Without looking up, Nino said, ‘You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.’

Adrien crossed his arms and glared. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘We were invited,’ said Alix.

‘I was invited, too.’ Adrien stuck his jaw out. ‘Don’t you know it’s rude to wake people up from wonderful dreams?’

‘Did it involve Marinette and croissants?’ said Nino.

Adrien threw a pillow.

Nino ducked it and shook his finger in a prissy manner. ‘Anymore of that nonsense and there won’t be any croissants for you to enjoy. Marinette’s parents sent up a fresh tray just for us.’

‘I was all for eating them in front of you while you and Marinette slept off last night,’ said Alix. ‘But Nino said that it was “wasn’t cricket”, whatever that means.’

‘Picked it up from an internet friend,’ said Nino. ‘But the goods are getting cold. Who wants to wake Marinette up?’

‘Not Sunshine Boy,’ said Alix. ‘They’ll be too busy doing _Twilight-_level stares to remember to come downstairs.’

‘You watch _Twilight_?’

She winkled her nose. ‘Believing that aliens built the pyramids is not the only reason Jalil is not allowed to be seen with me in public.’

‘I mean, fair,’ said Adrien.

‘Sure,’ muttered Nino.

Alix and Adrien narrowed their eyes and studied.

Nino stood up straight and said, ‘So we should get Marinette up, right?’

Alix crossed her arms. ‘Fess up, Lahiffe: Do you like _Twilight_?’

The DJ blushed and stammered, ‘“Like” isn’t exactly the word I would use.’

‘Would you voluntarily watch it?’ said Adrien.

‘Um—How about it’s not the worst film I’ve ever watched?’

‘Once again, fair.’

Alix said, ‘You’ve seen _Twilight_?’

‘I’ve seen all of them.’ Adrien rubbed the sleep from his eyes. ‘Without subtitles or dubbing. Nathalie’s revenge for making her watch _The Emoji Movie_.’

Nino winced.

Alix cackled. ‘A woman after my own heart!’

‘Things you can do when you’re writing the curriculum.’ Adrien stretched and rolled to his feet. ‘How does one go about waking up the _Marientta Clumsiettus _in its native habitat?’

‘Coffee and a stick,’ said Alix. ‘Works every time.’

‘I’m suddenly less interested in learning about what happens at their slumber parties,’ whispered Nino.

Adrien chuckled. He grabbed a croissant and climbed the stairs to Marinette’s room.

He knocked before lifting the trap door.

Tikki poked her head over the bed railing. She giggled and hid under Marinette’s pillow.

‘Mar-ihn-e-ette!’ called Adrien, climbing up the ladder. ‘I have a croiss-ah-ant! Mar-ih—oof!’

A foot kicked him in the chest.

He flew off the ladder and landed hard on his backside. ‘Ow,’ he whimpered.

Marinette’s head appeared over the side of the bed. She squinted and blinked. ‘Adrien?’

‘That hurt.’

‘Shit! You’re real!’ She slid down the ladder and pulled on her pigtails. ‘Did I hurt you? Please tell me you’re not bruised! Your father’s going to kill me!’

Alix and Nino’s heads appeared from the trap door.

‘We heard the sound of a body falling,’ said Alix.

‘What’d you do to him?’ said Nino.

‘She kicked me off the ladder,’ said Adrien, somewhere between pain, shock, and the delighted reminder that Marinette could easily hand him his ass. ‘It was awesome.’

Nino bit back a smile and Alix rolled her eyes.

‘Seriously, dude?’

‘She’s awake, isn’t she? I’d consider this mission a success. And,’ Adrien held up the croissant, ‘the bribe is still intact.’

Marinette took the bribe and shoved it into her mouth. ‘Fank yew.’

‘There are more downstairs,’ said Nino. ‘Which is where I’d like to be. Because there’s food and the games you got for Christmas.’

‘Let me get coffee first,’ said Marinette.

Five rounds and six espressos (split amongst four people) later, Marinette screamed with delight.

‘Who’s the queen, suckers?’ She threw down her controller and grabbed the last croissant.

‘You’ll always be a princess to me,’ said Adrien.

‘Nice.’ Alix fist bumped him.

Marinette made a rude gesture and danced around the room in victory, the croissant sticking out of her mouth.

Adrien grabbed the plate. ‘Anyone want to come beg for more with me?’

‘They’re Marinette’s parents,’ said Nino. ‘You’re going to be begging for them to stop feeding you if you’re not careful.’

‘What a horrible life,’ said Adrien, spinning the plate on one finger.

Alix peeled herself from the couch. ‘I’ll come with.’

The two padded their way down the stairs.

Just before Adrien could open the door to the bakery, Alix grabbed him by the collar.

‘Yikes!’ He looked at the tiny girl glaring up at him. His fingers turned white as he gripped the plate to his chest.

‘I just need to make sure you understand one thing, Agreste.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Break her heart, and your face won’t be the only thing I break. _Capiche_?’

‘Heard and understood!’

‘Good.’ She smiled. ‘Let’s see what Sabine will spoil us with this time.’

Adrien’s knees wobbled as he followed her into the bakery.

Sabine stood with her back to them.

On the other side of the counter, Nathalie and his father were arguing.

‘With all due respect, I am not eating that,’ said Nathalie.

‘You’re not allowed to have coffee.’ Gabriel’s hands clenched behind his back. ‘You’re going to have to eat in order to not get sick.’

‘Bit late for that.’

‘Just eat the damned pastry!’

Sabine’s shoulders shook.

Alix sniggered. ‘You know they fight like an old married couple, right?’

Adrien sighed. ‘I wish.’

‘Really? I was just making a joke.’

They watched Sabine’s shoulders shake harder as the argument changed from getting Nathalie to eat at all to the issue of both of them eating.

Adrien’s legs were cramping by the time they settled on the cheddar and mushroom quiche.

‘A slice for each of you,’ said Sabine, removing the quiche from the case. ‘And it’s on the house. No arguing.’

The adults clamped their mouths shut at her tone

A breath tickled Adrien’s neck. ‘What’s going on?’ whispered Marinette.

‘Yikes!’

He and Alix jumped, Alix knocking her head against Adrien’s chin.

The plate dropped and rolled along the corridor.

Adrien’s heel caught on the carpet as he fell into the door and landed on the bakery floor.

‘Sorry!’ squeaked Marinette.

‘Good morning,’ said Sabine. ‘Adrien, do you usually start the morning on the floor?’

He groaned.

Nino helped pull him to a standing position. ‘You were supposed to be getting more goods. Did you get lost?’

Alix gave a cheeky grin and jerked her head towards Nathalie and Gabriel. ‘Didn’t want to interrupt the local entertainment.’

‘We were not entertaining,’ snapped Gabriel.

Adrien swore afterwards that he heard Sabine, the sweetest, kindest person in the world, mutter, ‘Sure, Jan.’

She definitely made a face at the quiche expressing her disagreement with the designer.

‘We’ll just get a few things and get out of your hair.’ Marinette collected half a dozen croissants from the tray.

‘It’s almost eleven,’ said Sabine. ‘There are leftover sausage rolls in the second refrigerator.’

‘All right!’ said Nino. ‘Now we’re talking!’

Adrien bounced on his toes. ‘Those are the best!’

Sabine was about to place the slices of quiche on plates when Gabriel said, ‘My apologies, but we came to collect Adrien. We have a full schedule today.’

‘You can eat while he collects his belongings,’ said Sabine, handing the plates over.

Gabriel and Nathalie took the food and sat at a table in the corner.

Adrien cast a final look over his shoulder at the corner table. 

Alix looked under his arm. ‘Hm.’

He shut the door. ‘Not a word.’

‘Sorry, but I have too many to keep them locked away,’ she said as they climbed the stairs. ‘And it’s a lot more interesting than watching Marinette wipe the floor with us again.’

Nino’s head popped over the banister. ‘What’s more interesting?’

‘Setting up Adrien’s dad.’

‘It was just—just…’

Alix crossed her arms. ‘Just what? I’m waiting.’

Adrien’s ears felt like they were on fire. ‘Just get upstairs and try to give Marinette a challenge in the next round.’

Nino said, ‘How exactly are you thinking of getting them together.’

They filed into the living room.

Alix dropped onto the couch and kicked her feet up. ‘You know how people have these little habits that get you down?’ said Alix. ‘Like Hawkmoth. Hawkmoth likes to make Love Akumas and lock people in closets together.’

‘Who’d you end up with?’ said Marinette. 

‘Max.’

‘You sound so disgusted.’

Alix punched his bicep.

‘Ow! Okay, sorry!’

‘What’s your point?’ said Adrien.

‘I’m just saying,’ said Alix, ‘we could pay the favour forward.’

Marinette grinned. ‘I’m game.’ She took Adrien’s hand and squeezed it. ‘If this is what you want.’

‘Be back in a minute.’

He ducked into the bathroom and dressed.

Plagg hummed as he buzzed around the room. ‘Hm, things are getting spicy!’

‘It’s just talk.’ Adrien pulled his shirt over his head, flattening his hair in the process. He rubbed his eyes. ‘I want my old clothes back. Leather just doesn’t breathe the same way.’

‘Tell me something else I don’t know.’

Adrien emerged from the bathroom and shoved the rest of his things in his bag. ‘I guess that’s it.’

‘Duty calls,’ said Nino.

‘Frequently.’ Adrien ran a hand through his hair.

‘I’ll walk you out.’ Marinette tossed her controller to Alix and took Adrien’s hand.

Suddenly, Adrien realised today was really lovely.

Really, really lovely.

Marinette closed the door behind them. ‘I’m glad you came over.’

He pulled her into a tight hug and buried his nose in her hair.

She held tightly. ‘You’re the best, _minou_. Never forget that.’

‘I’m so glad it was you.’

Marinette pinked. She jerked her head in a nod and stood on her toes.

Adrien felt the world spin as she kissed his cheek.

‘Adrien!’ called Sabine.

‘I don’t want to leave,’ said Adrien.

She giggled. ‘If only there was a way getting to my balcony without anyone knowing.’

‘Are you inviting me to come and beg on your balcony?’

‘If I’m in the mood.’

‘Adrien!’ called his father.

It was Nathalie’s use of his first, last, and umpteen middle names that broke the mood.

The teens jumped.

‘See you tonight.’ Adrien kissed Marinette’s’ hand and sprinted down the stairs.

At the door, Sabine handed him a small bag of goodies.

‘Thank you so much for everything,’ said Adrien.

‘You’re welcome any time.’

‘Really?’

Sabine smiled and hugged him.

He tensed before relaxing into the hug. 

Maybe it was because it had been so long since he’d had a mom hug, but Sabine’s hugs seemed better than his own mom’s. More padding, for a start.

Gabriel answered his ringing phone. ‘Excuse us, but we really have to go. Thank you, Madame Cheng, for your assistance.’

‘I’m always happy to help Adrien,’ she said. ‘Marinette’s happiness is her father’s and my priority.’

Gabriel stood up straighter. ‘Naturally.’

‘I’m so glad we understand each other.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All hail Sabine!


	24. The Man with a Plan*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *We never said it was a GOOD plan. That’s what Nathalie is for. 
> 
> Gabriel learns the meaning of the word ‘backfire’ when he requests intervention from Nathalie’s family.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the only thing night owls hate more than getting up early is getting up early to work with morning people. The more cheerful they are, the more they are hated.

Whether Gabriel Agreste really was a morning person or simply an insomniac was earnestly debated amongst his employees with a betting pool running over five figures.

Regardless of his status, the man was well and thoroughly hated, especially on this cool, sunny March morning.

As she entered the Agreste property, Nathalie flipped off the birds singing cheerfully in the tree. ‘If I can’t sleep, you should.’

In the office, Gabriel crouched in front of a tea-length dress on a mannequin. ‘Good, you made it.’

Nathalie would have happy murdered for a cup of coffee. ‘Is that for Marinette?’

‘For Thursday’s show.’ He draped a piece of black organza around the mannequin’s shoulders. ‘The idea came last night.’

‘Should we be placing her in black and red for a premier event?’

He ran the fabric through his hands. ‘Legal delivered the contracts and NDAs for you to discuss with Marinette.’

Nathalie didn’t have the energy to raise an eyebrow at the small mountain of paper sitting on her desk. ‘Exactly what I want to do on a Sunday morning.’

Gabriel poked his head around the mannequin's skirt. ‘What else would you be doing?’

She dropped into her chair with a groan. ‘It’s a Sunday.’

‘And?’ He draped the organza over his own shoulders.

‘Sunday mornings are for sleeping in late before reading one- and two-star reviews of YA novels over coffee.’

‘“YA”?’ he mumbled around a mouthful of pins.

‘Young adult. Remember the _Divergent_ trilogy? Emilie was approached for playing one of the characters but declined due to health.’

‘Is this anything like the _Twilight _series you had Adrien watch for English?’

Nathalie allowed herself a fond smile for that one. Her crowning moment of pettiness. ‘Exactly.’

When Marinette arrived (well after the sun had risen), Nathalie took her and the stack of paperwork to the dining room.

Marinette sat in the indicated chair and cradled her tea. ‘Am I in trouble?’

‘Not at all.’ Nathalie rubbed the bridge of her nose. ‘This is more an attempt to make sure you don’t get into trouble.’

Noticing the girl’s confused look, Nathalie said, ‘Mr Agreste is a wealthy man who is aware of his tenuous at best relationship with the public. Since you are officially dating Adrien and it will become public knowledge soon, there are several documents we need you to sign.’

She held up a hand before Marinette could protest. ‘Not here and now. As you are still a minor, you will need your parents and whatever legal counsel they retain to be present when you sign.’

Marinette blinked. ‘It too early for this sort of technical jargon.’

Nathalie nodded wearily. ‘You can thank Mr Agreste for that.’ She cleared her throat. ‘I’m sending a courier with physical copies of everything we’ve discussed to your parents and their lawyer.’

They spent an hour working through paperwork.

Nathalie flipped to a new page. ‘This paragraph simply states that you won’t post on social media anything concerning Adrien, the Agreste family, or the company without clearing it with PR first.’

Marinette rubbed her temples. ‘I never thought about this side of dating Adrien.’

‘I’m sorry to say that you’ll need to get used to it,’ said Nathalie.

Marinette looked up from a section on public displays of affection. ‘Why are you doing this?’

‘Mr Agreste thought the explanations might be less intimidating coming from me.’ 

‘How very kind of him,’ said Marinette drily. ‘How many more of these do I have to do?’

‘Too many for a fifteen-year-old kid.’

Marinette groaned and buried her face in her arms.

Nathalie sat back in her chair. ‘What do you think of Adrien?’

Marinette propped her chin on her arms. ‘He’s very loyal, very sweet, but also kind of dumb.’

Nathalie’s mouth twisted, hiding a smile. ‘Good to know you’re coming into this with your eyes open.’

‘Oh?’ Marinette widened her eyes. ‘What does that mean?’

‘I was worried that your infatuation would make you blind and set you up for disappointment.’ She smiled slightly. ‘I think you’ll balance each other nicely.’

‘Thank you, Ms Sancoeur, That means a lot coming from someone Adrien loves and respects so much.’

Nathalie sat up, flustered by the compliment. ‘And with Mr Agreste as your sponsor—’

Marinette shrieked. ‘What?’

An alert chirped on Nathalie’s tablet.

She opened the notification and pulled up the security feed of the front gate. Her eyes widened. ‘No.’

Nononononono…

Nathalie jumped to her feet and ran out of the dining room.

‘Ms Sancoeur?’ Marinette followed her into the foyer. ‘Ms Sancoeur, what is it?’

Gabriel emerged from his office. ‘Is no one going to answer that?’

‘Why?’ Nathalie clenched her fists, her mouth a thin line. ‘Why are they here?’

‘I thought you needed help,’ he said,

‘I’ll tell you where to put your—’

‘Minors present,’ said Gabriel through clenched teeth.

Nathalie rolled her shoulders and fixed her posture. ‘Of course. Now, sir, would you like to explain why my grandmother is outside your gate?’

‘Your grandmother?’ He frowned. ‘Your mother said—’

‘You contacted my mother?’ Nathalie screeched.

Adrien popped out of his room and stuck his head over the bannister. ‘What’s going on?’

On the tablet, a voice said, ‘Should we keep ringing?’

‘Let me check,’ said another voice. ‘I think it’s the right address.’

Nathalie closed her eyes and pressed her palms together. In a controlled voice, she said, ‘Brilliant. Of course she brought Esther.’

‘Who’s Esther?’ said Adrien.

‘The Devil incarnate.’

The alarm buzzed again.

‘Aren’t you going to invite your guests in, Dad?’

Gabriel glared at his son before pressing the button to open the gate.

Two minutes later, a taller version of Nathalie (plus fifty years) strode into the room.

‘Abuela,’ said Nathalie, the childhood name coming instinctively, ‘I didn’t—mmph!’

Abuela (Señora Ochoa to the rest of the world) immediately took her granddaughter in her arms, smashing Nathalie’s face into her shoulder. ‘_Talia! Señor _Agreste called me—’

Nathalie wriggled her face out of her grandmother’s shoulder and glared at her employer.

The bastard had the audacity to look smug.

‘What did I ever do to you?’ she hissed.

‘Ay!’ Abuela smacked her granddaughter on the forehead. ‘Don’t speak like that to him! He called me—well, he called your mother—but,’ her voice cracked as she held back tears, ‘he called your poor family more recently than you did!’

Adrien stifled a laugh.

Abuela took Nathalie’s face in her hand and shook it. ‘You’re so thin now! You’re never going to get a man, never mind have fat, happy children like Esther’s.’

Esther, who was shorter than Marinette and wore her blonde hair in a bob, waved her fingers at Nathalie. ‘I can’t wait to show you their pictures and tell you what they’ve been up to. Although it’d be so much more efficient to keep you updated if you had a Facebook.’

As Nathalie seethed, Marinette crept upstairs to observe from a safe distance.

Gabriel said, ‘I called your mother concerning your medical situation. She promised to send a family representative.’

Marinette sat next to Adrien, looking between the spindles at the drama below.

Adrien patted her arm before rested his chin on the bannister.

‘When are Amélie and Felix coming for Christmas again?’ said Nathalie.

Gabriel winced. ‘I believe I deserve that.’

Nathalie stepped back and straightened her blazer. ‘How long are you going to—oi!’

She rubbed her nose where her grandmother had flicked it.

‘Aren’t you going to introduce us, _Talia_?’ said Esther.

Abuela smacked Esther on the back of the head. ‘Don’t be rude.’

‘This is my employer, Mr Agreste. His son Adrien is upstairs.’

Adrien gulped and made his way down. ‘Hello.’

He yelped as Abuela pulled him into a hug.

Over his head, Abuela said, ‘_Uno chico guapo!_’ She held Adrien out, making approving noises. ‘Nice young man.’ Her smile disappeared and she fixed Gabriel with the fearsome grandmother glare. ‘Too thin.’

Gabriel said, ‘He’s a model, ma’am—’

‘Ah-ah-ah! I’m an _abuela_, young man!’

Adrien turned a burst of laughter into a cough.

Señora Ochoa shook a finger under Gabriel’s nose. ‘I did not raise five children and arrange their marriages with suitable partners just to be a mere “ma’am”.’

Adrien blinked back tears and looked up at his father. ‘She has a point.’

‘Where is your—your—_Talia, como se dice_?’

Nathalie pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘She wants to know why Adrien isn’t wearing a sweater.’

‘Fashion,’ said the designer.

Abuela fixed Gabriel with the Universal Grandmother Glare. ‘_Y Talia_, this is what you spend your time with?’

‘He’s my boss,’ said Nathalie through clenched teeth.

Abuela studied Gabriel through her glasses.

He returned the favour.

‘Does he know how to make _arroz_?’ She jerked her head at Nathalie. ‘Because she doesn’t. She’s the worst cook—’

‘Abuela, he didn’t hire me for—’

‘—She burns it all the time!’

‘What’s _arroz_?’ said Adrien.

‘I can cook rice, Abuela!’ Nathalie stamped her foot. ‘I haven’t burnt rice in months!’

‘_Necessitas cocinar arroz con frijoles por ellos._’

‘_Eso es mi jefe!_’

‘_Si? Tu abeulo era mi jefe—_’

Nathalie threw her hands up in frustration.

‘_Talia_, this is why you don’t have—’

‘Ay!’

‘I was going to say—’

‘Nuhuhuh!’ said Nathalie, her accent changing to match her grandmother’s.

Adrien was a little terrified of the sudden family resemblance.

Cousin Esther strolled around the foyer, hands clasped behind her back.

‘…_Sabes_?’ said Nathalie.

Abuela threw her scarf over her shoulder. ‘If you’re going to talk like that I won’t tell you the _chisme _about _prima _Yéyé.’

‘What does Talia mean?’ said Adrien.

‘She is_ Talia_.’ Abuela motioned to Nathalie. ‘Her fancy-French father—’

‘Not this again,’ groaned Nathalie. ‘He was Swiss!’

Gabriel leaned over to Adrien. ‘We’re dropping Chinese. You start Spanish next week.’

‘So where are we staying?’ drawled Esther. ‘I can’t imagine you being prepared for guests.’

Nathalie bit her tongue. Not now. ‘Actually, as you’re Mr Agreste’s guests, I’m sure he’d be happy to open his home to you.’

She looked directly at her boss. ‘After all, he did give you directions to come to his house only a short while before I have to escort Adrien to an event.’

From her position on the stairs, Marinette whispered, ‘Check and mate.’

Tikki giggled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it really Miraculous Ladybug without some sort of translation work?
> 
> Spanish Translations: 
> 
> Uno chico guapo: Handsome boy
> 
> como se dice...?: How do you say...?
> 
> arroz: rice
> 
> ‘Necessitas cocinar arroz con frijoles por ellos.’ : You need to cook rice with beans for them. 
> 
> ‘Eso es mi jefe!’ : He's my boss!
> 
> ‘Si? Tu abeulo era mi jefe—’ : Yes [So]? Your grandfather was my boss--'


	25. Pink or Green?

Adrien tiptoed after his father and Nathalie.

Gabriel was all but wringing his hands as he followed Nathalie from guest room to guest room.

She opened another bedroom, checking for dust and fresh linens.

‘You’re going to leave them with me?’ whined Gabriel.

‘With all due respect,’ she picked up a pillow and sniffed, ‘you are the one who invited them.’

‘They’re your family.’

She replaced the pillow and plumped it. ‘There’s a reason I haven’t spoken with _la familia _in over ten years. You of all people should understand that.’

‘Then why did you put your mother as your emergency contact?’

‘HR wouldn’t let me leave it blank.’ She looked around. ‘This room will work for Esther.’

Adrien ducked and curled up behind a potted plant as they left and walked down the hall.

His father gave a weary sigh. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘You will be,’ said Nathalie in her most matter of fact tone.

Adrien peeked around the plant.

‘How much?’ said Gabriel, hands in his pockets.

‘Blood, sweat, and tears.’ The blue-light filter flashed on Nathalie’s glasses. ‘Yours specifically as they all but adopt Adrien into the family and plump him up.’

They went downstairs, speaking too quietly for Adrien to hear.

Adrien snuck through a back corridor to the back stairs and up to his room. He closed his bedroom door. ‘What do you think?’

‘I think that based on the smells coming from the kitchen, you’re all going to ten to twenty kilos heavier by the end of the week,’ said Marinette, eyes fixed on the tablet in her lap. ‘Where did she even find the supplies?’

‘Probably brought them with her like all good grandmothers of eons past,’ said Plagg. He stretched before floating over to his cheese stash.

Adrien dropped onto the couch next to Marinette and rested his cheek on her shoulder.

The tablet showed the mansion’s security feed.

Marinette said, ‘I noticed Nathalie picked out bedrooms in the opposite wing from you and your father’s rooms.’

‘She feels threatened,’ said Tikki. ‘They may be her family, but she views them as invaders to her—to her people.’

Plagg said, ‘She might also be trying to hide the fact that she stays over enough to have her own room.’

‘Plagg! That's confidential!’

‘Old-fashioned principals die hard, kid.’ The Kwami gulped down his cheese. ‘Speaking of, her cousin looks more like a Karen than an Esther and twice as bitchy.’

‘That’s not very nice,’ said Tikki.

‘And probably true,’ said Marinette.

A calendar reminder dinged on Adrien’s phone.

He pulled it up, pressed ‘ignore’, and tossed his phone onto his bed.

‘That was brave,’ said Marinette, eyeing the distance.

‘Eh, it’s an old phone.’

She sputtered. ‘That model only came out last year!’

‘So?’

‘Ugh.’ She pulled at her cheeks. ‘Rich people.’

‘Adrien! Marinette!’ called Abuela.

‘Correct me if I’m wrong,’ said Adrien, ‘but that sounded like a “time to eat” call.’

‘If grandma calling you to dinner has a universal sound, then I think you’re right.’ Marinette jumped up and stretched.

Adrien grabbed her wrist and yanked her back. He wrapped himself around her and buried his face in her neck. ‘You’re warm.’

‘Um-huh!’

Her face was a furious shade of red.

‘Marinettita! Adrien!’

Marinette slipped away and jumped to her feet. ‘That was our last warning!’

‘But cuddling!’

‘Later.’ She took his chin in her hand. ‘But now, food.’

‘All right.’ He groaned and led the way downstairs.

It was on the third to last step that Marinette tripped.

She squawked and flailed. 

Adrien moved quickly and caught her. ‘I think you just—’

‘Don’t say it!’

‘—fell for me.’

She scowled at him. ‘Put me down.’

‘As My Lady wishes!’ He winked before setting her down.

Abuela appeared from the kitchen, an apron stretched over her pantsuit. ‘Are you going to come eat or should I feed it to the goats?’

‘Where are you going to find goa—ow!’ Adrien rubbed his foot and gave Marinette an injured look.

‘Don’t argue,’ said Marinette. ‘Just smile and eat until you’re unable to move.’

They found a steaming dish with the most amazing smell in the middle of the dining room table.

‘I hope you like _paella_,’ said Abuela. ‘It was Nathalie’s favourite when she was little. She asked for it every birthday.’

She loaded their plates with the food.

‘Uh, not too much, please.’ Adrien beam beamed his best smile. ‘I’m not super hungry, ma’am.’

‘Firstly, I’m Abuela. Secondly,’ she loaded more onto the plate, ‘you’re thin enough to be Chat Noir.’

Marinette chocked on her water.

‘You’re going to eat.’ She slammed the plate in front of him. ‘And I’m going to wait for you to finish it before you’re allowed to leave this table.’

‘Yes, ma—Abuela,’ squeaked Adrien.

He and Marinette set about eating.

As soon as Adrien’s plate was nearly empty, Abuela scooped more food onto his plate.

Gabriel’s footsteps echoed in the foyer.

Abuela ducked out, hot in pursuit.

Adrien made sure she was gone and opened his jacket. ‘Psst! Plagg!’ He held a forkful of food to the Kwami. ‘Help a friend out?’

Plagg sniffed and turned up his nose. ‘Thank you, no. No cheese to speak of, but even if I was tempted, the shrimp has been tainted with spices.’

‘What’s the point of having you around?’ Adrien groaned at the food. ‘There’s just so much.’

‘I’m not a dog to cast your leftovers upon,’ sniffed the Kwami.

‘As long as she doesn’t think you’re Chat Noir, we’re okay,’ said Marinette. ‘And for the record, this is the best _paella _I’ve ever had.’

‘Oh, good!’ said Abuela, navigating a red-faced Gabriel into his chair at the table. She slid a plate in front of him. ‘You are also too thin. Too much coffee, not enough sleep and food.’

Adrien made a show of eating his food.

Abuela patted his back before kissing his forehead.

Marinette giggled.

‘What?’ said Adrien.

‘She left lipstick on your forehead. That’s as good as adoption papers.’

He grinned and managed another mouthful.

‘Adrien?’ called Nathalie. ‘We need to go.’

Adrien jumped out of his chair.

Marinette followed him, waving goodbye to Gabriel.

He followed the young couple to the foyer.

Nathalie was buttoning her coat as Adrien and Marinette pulled their own winter apparel on.

Gabriel glanced over his shoulder before whispering, ‘Don’t leave me with them!’

‘Why?’ said Nathalie, eyes wide and innocent. ‘They’re wonderful people.’

‘Your grandmother is trying to force-feed me something called pay-ay-uh.’

Nathalie clicked her tongue. ‘_Paella_?’

‘That’s the one.’

‘Count yourself lucky.’ She adjusted her scarf. ‘Abuela makes the best _paella _in the region. They have an annual competition and she wins every year.’

‘That’s wonderful.’

‘You sound cranky. Is something inconveniencing you?’

He scowled. ‘If I didn’t know better—’

‘Mhm?’

The scowl deepened. ‘You’re enjoying this too much.’

Nathalie gave the grin she usually reserved for higher-ups, the one meant to remind them who knew where all the bodies were buried and why.

He ran a finger along his collar. ‘You’re enjoying this too much.’

‘The only thing I’m appreciating is that just this once there is someone who has no fear of you.’

Adrien sighed.

Marinette hid her grin.

‘What?’ said Adrien.

‘If I didn’t know better, I’d be a little worried about your affections for Nathalie.’ Her eyes twinkled.

He leaned in close. ‘Maybe I have a thing for strong women.’

‘Oh, _minou_, there’s no “maybe” about it.’ She ran a finger across his cheekbone before tracing his jawline.

Adrien forgot how to breathe.

Eyes half-closed, Marinette murmured, ‘You definitely like them as strong as that coffee mess.’

‘You mean Resurrection Coffee?’ he gasped.

‘That’s the bitch.’

Gabriel grumbled.

‘What was that?’ said Nathalie.

‘She keeps trying to make me wear a sweater.

Marinette said, ‘I think your new grandma is great, for the record.’

‘Nathalie’s grandma, but yes.’

His girlfriend snorted. ‘My dear, sweet innocent boy. Grandmothers have a very strict code of “no child left unadopted”. Just wait until you meet my mom’s mom. She’ll give Abuela a run for her money.’

‘Let’s not. I’m worried about the food going bad before we can eat it all.’

Marinette waved her hand. ‘Just invite Nino. He could out-eat Plagg if he wasn’t allergic to dairy.’

‘You haven’t seen Plagg eat.’

They followed Natalie to the car, their joined hands swinging between them.

Once in the car, Adrien wrapped an arm around Marinette’s shoulders. ‘I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.’

‘Come to the bakery first. We can get a treat before going to school.’

‘Are you sure you’ll be awake en—ow!’ He rubbed his sore thigh. ‘No pinching!’

Marinette moved her hands like crab claws. ‘My mother raised a lady.’

‘Do ladies pinch their beloved?’

She stuck her tongue out. ‘If the sun itself is coming to wake me, it would be rude to ignore its efforts. I’ll be up.’

‘My apologies for ever doubting you.’

The car pulled up in front of the bakery.

‘See you tomorrow. Thanks for the ride, Nathalie!’ Marinette waved before disappearing inside. 

Adrien waved through the window and sank back into the seat with a sigh. ‘She’s so wonderful.’

‘Have you kissed her yet?’ said Nathalie.

The Gorilla stopped quickly for a pedestrian.

Nathalie raised an eyebrow at him before looking back to Adrien. ‘Based on your high-pitched wheezing and the stars in your eyes, I’m going to guess yes.’

Adrien rested his head against the window. ‘My Lady is perfect.’

When he ignored her next question, Nathalie snapped her fingers just below his nose.

‘Whah!’

‘Do you understand what I’m saying now?’

‘Yes.’ He rubbed his nose. ‘What?’

Nathalie drummed her fingers on her tablet. ‘Do you still want to colour your hair?’

Adrien studied her, mouth agape. A slow grin spread across his features. ‘Really?’

‘Really.’

‘Hm.’ He tented his fingers, tapping the pads together. ‘Pink for Ladybug? Or green to go with my new aesthetic?’ Adrien side-eyed Nathalie. ‘Which is going to piss Father off more? I assume that’s why we’re doing this.’

‘Do you really need me to answer that? I can have N2 come to my apartment and do it there.’

He rubbed his hands together. ‘I like when you’re pissed at Dad.’

Nathalie sat back and smiled. ‘Me, too.’


	26. Change is for the Better???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathalie Sancoeur is coming for your soul and any petty [or not so petty] cash left on your person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I loved your stories about your grandmothers feeding people and cooking habits! It's so much fun throwing out a story and getting stories back. 
> 
> Fun story: I FINALLY GET TO USE A SCENE I WROTE BACK IN MARCH!!!!

Nathalie hummed a half-forgotten pop song as she strolled through the mansion, eyes fixed on her phone.

The email explained the purchase and expected installation date of the accounting software Gabriel had authorized as per her negotiations.

She opened the office door and stepped inside.

A generous white box sat on her desk. A large blue bow graced the top.

She tapped her toe on the marble floor.

‘I believe they’re in your size.’

Nathalie glanced behind her. ‘I’m sorry?’

Gabriel’s gaze remained fixed on his work station. ‘Open the box. I believe I requested the correct size.’

She untied the heavy ribbon and pulled out a pair of black leather heels. The stitching alone signified the hours of craftmanship put into the footwear. ‘Really, sir? I believe we agreed—’

‘The accounting software has been ordered. However, I thought a tangible sign of my…appreciation for all the work you’ve done as my assistant would be appropriate.’

‘I see.’ Nathalie looked at the shoes in her hand. Custom-made _Gabriel _brand shoes would last her forever if taken care of properly. ‘I appreciate the gesture, sir, but I doubt I will be able to use them.’

‘They comply with the company’s dress code: Black, closed-toe. I don’t understand the problem.’

‘The heel is 100 millimetres. They’re not exactly practical.’

A grim smile—one that rarely boded well for anyone in his proximity—settled on the designer’s face. ‘You will accept the gift.’ He opened an article on his workstation monitor. ‘There will be ample opportunity to wear them in New York next month.’

‘Yes, sir.’ Nathalie put the shoes back in the box and tucked it under the desk.

One of the chefs delivered a tray of coffee things.

She prepared the coffee and took it to Gabriel.

‘Thank you.’ He looked up as he took the cup and did a double take. ‘What the hell?’

One dark eyebrow arched. 

‘You—what have you—?’

Nathalie caught the coffee cup just before he could drop it and give her yet another mess to clean up. ‘Yes?’

The door to the office burst open, admitting one very worried looking Adrien. ‘Is everything okay? I heard Father scream.’

Gabriel gripped his workstation for support, his fist pressed to his mouth. ‘How could you—?’

Nathalie stood with her back to the door, coffee cup in hand. ‘Is there a problem?’

‘Where is your hair?’

‘On its way to the donation centre. They were thrilled to receive over 100 centimetres of hair.’

‘You cut your hair.’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘You don’t have your bun!’

She resisted the urge to touch the cap of smoothly styled hair. ‘Yes, sir.’

Adrien edged around the door and further into the office.

‘You _changed_ your look!’ said Gabriel, his voice leaping at least an octave. 

‘I believe that is what happens when you cut your hair.’

Gabriel emitted a sound reminiscent a desperate dachshund. ‘Can you put it back?’

‘Really, sir!’

Adrien slipped around to stand by his father’s side. He stared at Nathalie, eyes larger than saucers. ‘I thought you were getting a fringe! Not chopping it all off!’

Gabriel motioned to his son. ‘You knew?’

‘Uhhhh…’

Nathalie pursed her lips. She collected her tablet from its charging port and pulled up Adrien’s schedule. ‘Adrien, I’m glad you’re here. I need to remind you—’

Gabriel gathered the shredded remains of his dignity and marched over to his assistant. He touched the smooth hair, right where the red streak used to be. ‘Why?’

Her hand stilled on the screen. ‘I needed the change.’

‘You’ve never changed your hair. You’ve never changed your look!’

‘Emilie and I agreed upon a certain look once I became your assistant.’ She gave him a cool look, the one usually reserved for disappointing interns. ‘Please stop touching my hair. We have too much to do to have time to restyle it.’

‘You look like Velma Kelly.’ He let go and stepped back, looking for all the world like a child just told that his puppy had died. ‘Emilie told you how to dress?’

‘She asked. I agreed.’ Her hand danced over the tablet. ‘It was to cull any rumours before they could even start.’

‘Did you have a say at all?’

Nathalie’s hand stilled. ‘Things are changing, sir.’

‘I understand.’ His hands clenched and unclenched. ‘But did it all have to go?’

‘Who’s Velma Kelly?’ said Adrien.

Gabriel and Nathalie exchanged looks.

‘Shall I show it to him or would you like to?’ said Nathalie. ‘I think he’s old enough to watch the film version.’

‘Put in on my schedule for next week. We’ll discuss it then.’

‘Understood. In the meantime, you have a conference call with the Belgian textile corporation in ten minutes.’ Nathalie slid her finger across the tablet. ‘Madame Tsurugi will join you for a conference call at 10:30, and Adrien will miss fencing as he is a guest commentator for tonight’s show.’

Father and son groaned in unison.

Adrien ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it properly.

‘Oh, my God,’ gasped the designer.

Nathalie whipped her chair around and under her employer before he could land on the floor and injure himself.

Adrien grinned and posed. ‘You like?’ He placed a hand on his hip and threw back his shoulders. ‘I think it suits me.’

‘This is a nightmare.’ Gabriel removed his glasses and covered his face with his free hand. ‘I’m going to wake up any moment and all this will be gone.’

‘That can be arranged,’ said Adrien. ‘I have to leave for school in a minute.’

Eyes still pinched shut, Gabriel said, ‘You will not be going to school with peacock hair.’

‘Okay, I mean, you’re my father. And my boss. Should I shave it?’

Gabriel squealed.

Plagg rubbed his ears. Consequences be damned; he was going to chew every single wire and pair of socks not located in Adrien’s bedroom.

‘It’s just hair,’ said Adrien. ‘It’ll grow out. But I do have to go if I don’t want to ruin my perfect attendance record.’

He patted his father on the shoulder and strolled out to the car.

‘_Talia!_’

‘Not now, Abuela!’

Nathalie ran out of the house and climbed into the car.

Adrien dropped his air of nonchalance the moment she closed her door. ‘Were you going to tell me?’

‘It’s literally just hair,’ she said. ‘I don’t see what has you and your father freaking out.’

‘You chopped off your hair, Nath! That’s not something you can just _change_!’

‘Says the boy with vibrantly coloured hair.’

‘You got rid of your red streak.’ He blinked rapidly. ‘You’ve lost your Nath-ness.’

‘You’ll get used to it, just as your father will get used to your new look.’

Adrien scrunched up his face and nodded. ‘So what are we going to do about the TV gig?’

‘You’re going to wear your hair proudly and say that it’s a part of your new look that’s been kept quiet for corporate reasons.’

He ran a thumbnail along his lip. ‘I should have gone with pink. That would’ve been easier to bleach out or colour over.’

‘Speaking of colour, hold still.’

Adrien paled at the eyeliner and mascara in her hand. He gulped and shook his head. ‘Please?’

‘If you’re looking for mercy, you’re praying at the wrong altar. Now, hold still.’

‘Wow!’

‘Dude, check it out!’

‘Is that—?’

Adrien adjusted his grip on Marinette’s hand.

‘You look great,’ she said. ‘Relax.’

He grunted, thankful no one could see the heavy-handed makeup behind his aviators.

‘Adrikins!’

Adrien looked up and let go of Marinette’s hand just as Chloe tackled him.

The sunglasses flew off.

‘What have you done to your hair?’ She ran her hand through it, turning it this way and that. ‘I absolutely _adore _it!’

‘Thanks.’ He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘I’m getting used to it.’

‘The heavy makeup balances the colours perfectly. However _did_ you get your father to agree to it?’

‘Er, I didn’t? I went over to Nathalie’s after a Fashion Week thing and N2 did it in her kitchen right then and there.’

Chloe’s eyebrows furrowed. ‘Who’s N2?’

‘Natalie without an H from hair and makeup. N2 was easier.’

‘Well, either way, I think it’s absolutely perfect.’ Chloe put her hands on her hips and shifted her pose. ‘And what do you think, Dupain-Cheng?’

Marinette smiled smugly. ‘I helped pick the colours out. It was that or pink.’

‘I think the actual phrase was “Go peacock or die a coward”,’ said Adrien.

‘How very Lady Macbeth of you.’ Chloe giggled before breaking into a full laugh. ‘You would be the one person in school to actually date a magical anime girl!’

Marinette stood on her toes and kissed Adrien’s cheek. ‘I think the dark magical girl theme works just fine. Come along, _minou._’

‘Yes, dear.’

They found their seats in Ms Bustier’s class.

Juleka high-fived Adrien as she walked past. ‘A-plus,’ she whispered. ‘But stick your glasses in your shirt collar, not on your head.’

‘Like this?’ He hooked them over the front of his shirt.

‘Mm.’ She jogged up the steps and whispered furiously to Rose.

Kim and Ivan both tried to introduce themselves to Adrien, thinking him a new student.

Alix strained her abdominal oblique from laughing and had to be sent home.

Lila almost made a comment about Adrien’s look before noticing how his fingers laced with Marinette’s. She stomped up to her seat.

A hand slammed onto the desk.

Adrien jumped and realised Nino’s face was inches from his own. ‘Personal space!’

‘Dude,’ said Nino in a low voice.

Chairs and desks squeaked and groaned as everyone—including Ms Bustier—leaned in closer to hear.

‘We are going to talk.’

Adrien nodded furiously, sunglasses rattling against his chest.

Nino’s eyes flicked to Marinette’s hand. ‘Nice going, M. Bagged and tagged already.’

She grinned and wriggled her shoulders.

‘Now that that’s settled,’ said Ms Bustier. ‘Good morning, everyone. Please open to Chapter 15 of your books…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's right folks: I gave Nathalie her Mayura hair! This is based on the understanding that your transformation reflects your desires for it (?) and the slap-you-in-the-face point that Nathalie's civilian look is supposed to mark her as "safe" and "able to disappear".


	27. Squeakity Squeak Squeak Squeakin

‘So,’ said Nino, washing his hands in the bathroom. ‘The hair.’

Adrien ran a hand through his hair, making sure the pink layers stuck out perfectly beneath the blue, green, and purple layers. ‘What do you think?’

‘It’s different. Really different. You said Marinette approved it?’

‘“Go peacock or die a coward”.’ He turned to his friend. ‘N2 really wanted me to get an undercut, but Nathalie backed me up on saying no. We wanted to give Father a shock, not actually kill him.’

‘And? How is the old bastard?’

‘Alive when I left for school. We’ll see how he does with Nathalie’s new hair.’

‘Nathalie has new hair?’ said Nino as they walked out.

‘Dude! Dude.’ Adrien gripped his hair with both hands, destroying all attempts at perfection. ‘I almost ended up on the floor with Father. She chopped all her hair off and got rid of the red streak! Father was so fixated on it that he didn’t even notice my hair at first!’

‘Does he have problems noticing details?’

Adrien snorted. ‘Definitely has trouble seeing the big picture.’ He stopped and rocked on his heels, adjusting his grip on his jacket. ‘Just to make sure, you’re okay with me dating Marinette?’

‘My dude.’ Nino clapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder. ‘We have been waiting for this day for a long time.’

‘Okay, your reaction this morning…’

‘Yeah, just wanted to check why you were suddenly changing everything in the space of a week. I wanted to—’ Using the toe of his shoe, Nino scraped a rock against the concrete of the courtyard. ‘You know Marinette had a crush on Luka, right?’

‘I thought everyone knew.’

‘Exactly. Just wanted to make sure you’re not trying to be him in order to get Marinette’s attention.’

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Trust me, until the fight with Lila, I honestly thought I was still hung up on Ladybug.’

‘Ahh, the truth comes out. And where does Ladybug fit into all of this?’

‘She’s exactly where she belongs in my affections.’

A bitter wind blew over them as they walked onto the front steps of the school.

Nathalie waited inside the grey town car.

‘Good to know.’ Nino held out his fist. ‘Gaming after fencing?’

‘Sorry. Fashion Week stuff.’

‘Right.’ Nino eyed the car. ‘Best of luck tonight.’

‘You, too!’ Adrien jogged down the steps and climbed into the warm car. ‘First question.’

‘Severely shocked but he’ll survive.’ Nathalie continued with typing an email. ‘Abuela force-fed him enough soup and _jarabes _to fight an army.’

Adrien moved the hand in his left pocket. ‘Har-a-bays?’

‘Syrup, cold medicine, but nothing you would ever find in the store.’

‘Why?’

‘Too much alcohol.’

‘Okay. Sounds like I missed a lot.’

‘Not particularly.’ Nathalie looked up from the tablet. ‘How was school?’

‘It was all about the hair today. A couple of people asked if this is permanent or if Father’s going through a mid-life crisis and which of the two looks is more my personal taste.’

‘And you said?’

‘No comment, don’t know, and it depends on which way the wind is blowing.’ He settled further into his seat. ‘On that note, do I get an official PR packet on this?’

‘Yes. Just say “no comment” and move along.’

‘Oh.’ Adrien cleared his throat and adjusted his hand.

‘Is everything all right? You keep fidgeting.’

‘Just nerves. It’s been a busy week.’

Something squeaked in Adrien’s pocket. A piercing, tiny squeak.

The Gorilla slammed on the brakes and looked to see if he had hit something.

Nathalie looked directly at Adrien. ‘What was that?’

‘Nothing!’ he squeaked.

‘What are you hiding?’

‘Noth-ing! God, Nathalie! Let me—’

He gulped and withered under her glare.

‘Yes?’ she said, adjusted her glasses. ‘Let you what?’

‘Heh, uh, I was thinking about getting a facial piercing.’

She closed her eyes and lay her head against the headrest. ‘What did I do in my past life?’

The car pulled to a stop.

Nathalie climbed out and marched him to the front doors, a firm grip on his shoulder.

‘Ms Sancoeur! Welcome back,’ said the security guard. She handed over the passes. ‘Your guest arrived about ten minutes ago.’

The grip on Adrien’s shoulder loosened.

‘My guest?’ said Nathalie.

‘Mm. Sent with special permission from Mr Agreste himself.’

‘Does this guest have a name or do I need to physically pry it from you?’

Adrien clamped his mouth shut.

The guard chuckled nervously and pulled up the list. ‘Madame Esther Espinosa Ochoa.’

‘Did he? Did he really? That’s absolutely _fascinating._’

Adrien cringed at Nathalie’s bright tone and wondered if Marinette’s family would let him live with them should and when he became an orphan at this late date.

He opened his jacket and peaked at Plagg.

The Kwami scowled at him.

No help from that quarter.

Nathalie clipped the badge onto her blazer.

‘So,’ said Adrien, suddenly realising the appeal of bear baiting. ‘Can I?’

‘You can get a fake one.’ Nathalie handed Adrien his freshly activated security badge and swept him off to the studio.

Translation, she powerwalked through the crowds, one hand on his shoulder. 

Adrien lengthened his stride. ‘Why can’t I get a real one?’

‘Why do you think?’

‘How is a facial piercing any different from colouring my hair?’ He tripped over a box and only just caught himself. 

Nathalie stopped to give him A Look. ‘Think on that one for a minute. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.’

He screwed up his face. ‘Scarring?’

‘Mm.’ Nathalie strode through the chaos that was the studio corridors.

As they stepped into a crowded dressing room, Adrien said, ‘What about a tattoo?’

‘Trust me, _caro_,’ said Esther, perched in the only empty makeup chair, ‘you don’t want to mess with those.’

Nathalie grabbed the cigarette from Esther’s hand and stubbed it out. ‘No smoking backstage.’

‘Since when don’t the French smoke?’ said the blonde.

‘It’s not a French thing,’ said Nathalie with a sigh. ‘It’s a Mr Agreste thing. And as he’s the technical head of all of this, he gets to decide what does and doesn’t happen.’

‘Fuck him.’

Models and artists alike flinched.

Adrien tried to disappear within his jacket.

‘You and about fifty thousand other housewives,’ said Nathalie, ‘all of whom have been devastated to learn the depths of his devotion to his wife.’

Esther scowled with a practiced pout.

Nathalie waved her cousin out of the chair.

‘Really?’ said Esther as she slid off the chair. ‘Devotion?’

Something about her smile was a little too familiar for Adrien’s comfort.

He took the chair and held still as N2 set about making him camera perfect.

‘Is it because of his devotion that he bought you those shoes?’ said Esther.

‘It was in thanks for completing a deal.’ Nathalie ran over a list on her tablet.

‘A discreet deal?’

Adrien could feel everyone becoming even busier as the tension increased.

In the mirror, Adrien could just see Nathalie look up from her tablet, eyes narrowed.

Esther leaned against the makeup station. ‘I’ve seen how he looks at you.’

‘Then you can reassure Abuela that our relationship is perfectly professional.’

‘What sort of profession would that be?’

Nathalie set the tablet down and faced her cousin. ‘I’m going to say this exactly once.’

She covered Adrien’s ears and shouted in Spanish.

Two of the models sputtered before howling with laughter.

The rest quickly made their way out of the room.

Nathalie removed her hands as Esther laughed.

‘Glad to know my bratty younger cousin is still in there somewhere.’

Adrien sat still as Nathalie brushed imaginary dust from his shoulders.

‘I’m still telling Abuela,’ said Esther.

‘Please, tell her,’ said Nathalie through clenched teeth.

Adrien’s jacket emitted a piercing meow.

N2’s brush froze.

The jacket meowed again.

‘I think someone’s jacket needs oiling,’ said Esther with a chuckle.

Nathalie pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘I don’t have time for this—Adrien, open your jacket.’

‘No.’

‘Please.’

He stuck his chin out.

She raised an eyebrow.

He sighed and unzipped the jacket.

A tiny black kitten tumbled into his lap.

It righted itself and squinted at Nathalie before emitting another ear-splitting meow.

Nathalie looked from the kitten to him. ‘Adrien, no.’

‘Adrien, yes!’

‘No, you can’t—’

His face turned red beneath the makeup. ‘So you’re willing to help me with hair and even facial piercings, but not with a kitten? What sort of hypocrisy is this?’

N2 made a final swipe of powder and vacated the room, taking Esther and the rest of the models with her.

‘It’s practicality,’ said Nathalie. ‘This is another life dependent on you. If something were to happen—’

The kitten launched itself from Adrien’s hands and landed on his shoe. It shook itself and sniffed Nathalie’s shoe.

‘I didn’t know they did that,’ said Adrien.

Nathalie winced as the kitten clawed its way up her leg and settled on her shoulder.

A mighty purr emanated from its chest as it rubbed its face on her cheek.

‘Aw, she likes you!’

Nathalie picked the tiny animal off and held it carefully. ‘Have you ever had a pet before?’

‘We had fish when I was six.’

‘Fish are not pets; they are decoration.’

‘That’s not very nice.’

The kitten resumed its squeaky meows.

Nathalie frowned at the fleas crawling all over the kitten. ‘Adrien, you are a horrible influence.’

‘Why?’

‘Because every bit of human decency that I’ve managed to shed over the years is coming back due to your interference.’

He gave her the biggest hug possible. ‘I love you, too!’

The set manager stuck his head in, bumping the doorframe with his headset. ‘Adrien’s on in ten—why is there a cat?’

‘I rescued it!’ Adrien took his new pet from Nathalie’s shoulder.

‘Excellent! That’s exactly the sort of human-interest story we’ve been lacking from tonight’s show.’

The kitten continued crying.

‘D’aw! It speaks!’

‘It has fleas,’ said Nathalie.

‘Not a problem.’ The assistant snapped his fingers. ‘Get dish soap, a towel, and a hair dryer. We’ve got the cutest thing on the planet to get ready for tonight’s show.’

Adrien looked at the kitten. ‘I guess I’ve been replaced.’

‘Now you know what it’s like getting a little sister,’ said the assistant.

He took the kitten, balancing it on his clipboard. ‘I’ll have it back before camera. Does it have a name?’

‘Er…’ Adrien glanced at Nathalie.

‘I am not naming your cat!’

‘Shad—’

‘God help me if you name it Shadow or Midnight.’

‘Uh, right. Um.’

The kitten blinked her golden eyes.

‘Phantom. Her name’s Phantom.’

‘Excellent. Come along, Phantom,’ cooed the assistant. ‘We’re going to get you camera perfect! Yes, we are!’

Nathalie groaned and smacked her head with the tablet. ‘I’m going to have grey hair before this week is out.’

‘Then you could match Father!’

She sputtered before laughing. ‘Don’t let him hear you say that!’

‘It made you laugh.’

‘So it did. But why did you have to get a cat? Especially a six-weeks old at most kitten?’

Adrien started to chew his lip, stopping before he could mess up his makeup. ‘I found it at school with a larger cat who looked like its mother.’ He sniffed. ‘The cat was dead. Rat bites.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah.’ Adrien wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. ‘Sorry, but…’

She set down the tablet and returned the hug, a hand resting against his head. ‘I understand.’

‘Thanks.’ He squeezed his eyes shut.

‘Adrien?’ said the assistant, a ball of fluff in hand. ‘Phantom’s ready for her big moment! We found some goat's milk and she seems ready for a nap now.’

Adrien let go of Nathalie and took the kitten in hand. ‘You are so cute!’

The kitten blinked sleepily and flopped onto its side, exposing a rounded tummy. 

The assistant held his clipboard over his mouth. ‘It’s a longhaired cat.’

‘That’ll be fun in a white mansion,’ said Nathalie.

‘I can imagine. Come along, you two. It’s showtime!’


	28. An Angel with Black Fur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone know if Agreste homes are pet friendly? 
> 
> Plagg starts calculating how many socks he can chew per minute. He insists that he's impervious to cuteness, but, well, we've seen him around Tikki.

‘Hold still!’

‘Meow!’

‘I need to hide you so Father doesn’t see you!’

‘Meow!’

Adrien snatched at Phantom.

The kitten jumped into the front passenger seat.

The Gorilla looked at and made a low ‘Hm’ sound.

Phantom tilted her head, blinked twice, and yawned, exposing her teeth and tongue.

He made a softer ‘hm’ sound and held out a hand.

The kitten crawled into his hand, promptly curling up and tucking her nose under her paw.

The Gorilla snapped a picture on his phone, a gentle smile on his face.

Adrien breathed more easily once Phantom was stowed under his jacket.

‘Ready to run?’ said Nathalie.

‘Let’s do this.’

Adrien jumped out of the car and followed Nathalie into the house.

Voices came from the office.

Nathalie shut the front door slightly harder than usual.

Marinette sprinted out of Gabriel’s office and threw her arms around Adrien.

Nathalie coughed, covering up Phantom’s squeak. ‘Adrien, I’ll see if your packages have been delivered.’

‘Thanks, Nathalie. Hi, Father! We’ll be upstairs!’ Adrien grabbed Marinette’s hand and ran upstairs.

As soon as the door to his bedroom shut, Marinette bounced on her toes. ‘Where is it? I want to see it!’

Tikki phased out of Marinette’s purse. ‘Show us, show!’

Adrien pulled Phantom from beneath his jacket.

‘Eep!’ Marinette squeezed her fists against her cheeks. ‘It’s just the cutest thing ever!’

Plagg shot out of Adrien’s jacket. ‘I have been hearing about this fleabag all evening! What exactly about it has everyone so excited?’

‘It’s a kitten,’ said Adrien. ‘People love cute things, especially baby animals.’

Plagg growled.

Tikki giggled. ‘Are you jealous, Plagg?’

‘Me? Jealous? Of something that’s going to be here and gone in a—’

Tikki made a slashing motion across her throat.

Plagg shut up.

Marinette booped Phantom’s nose.

The kitten immediately tackled her finger, digging its claws into her finger.

‘Doesn’t that hurt?’ said Adrien.

‘No more than your average needle.’

They sat on the couch, setting Phantom on the cushion between them.

She continued to chase Marinette’ finger, wriggling her tail and squeaking with excitement.

‘You’re going to have long black hairs everywhere,’ said Marinette.

Adrien leaned over and kissed her, rubbing his forehead against hers. ‘And how is that any different from the last three days?’

‘Rude.’ She pushed on his nose.

He nipped at her finger. ‘How are you going to manage three black cats in your life?’

‘I’m sure Tikki has plenty of advice and good luck.’ She glanced at Plagg. ‘But I think you might not want to forget about your other cat, otherwise your father’s socks aren’t going to be the only ones chewed up tonight.’

‘What about chewed socks?’ said Adrien.

‘Your father was complaining about something chewing on clothes and wires in the house. He’s worried about mice or rats, and I tried to stay sympathetic while knowing about the resident Kwmai.’

Plagg squawked as Adrien scooped him up and held him close.

‘Is someone jealous?’ Adrien stroked Plagg with his thumb. ‘It’s okay; I still love you!’

‘Ew! Gross! Tikki! Help me!’

Tikki clicked her tongue. ‘I would if you were in danger of anything other than looking too, too adorable.’ 

Plagg scowled.

Adrien set him next to Phantom. ‘Say hello to your new sister.’

The Kwami growled.

Phantom sniffed him before flopping onto her back. She purred and made air biscuits.

‘Why do they have to be so cute?’ wailed Plagg. He lay his head against Phantom’s and joined in with her purring.

‘He’s like this every time,’ said Tikki, hovering by Marinette’s shoulder. ‘It never gets old.’

Nathalie knocked on the door.

‘Come in!’ said Adrien as the Kwamis disappeared.

She carried three boxes stacked on top of each other. ‘This had better be it.’

Adrien took the boxes. ‘Thanks!’

‘Do you need anything else?’

‘I’ll let you know if I do.’

‘Marinette, have you eaten yet? We’re about to order dinner for Adrien.’

Marinette looked up from Phantom. ‘I have, thanks.’

Adrien said, ‘Put extra on my tray. She steals from my plate.’

Nathalie chuckled. ‘As all proper girlfriends should.’

Adrien closed the door behind her and tore open the boxes. ‘Kitten food, litter box and litter, a collar—’

He held up the lime green collar with a gold bell. ‘It’s too big for her.’

‘If only you knew someone who could help with alterations,’ said a grinning Marinette.

‘Oh, right.’ He gave her a sheepish smile and opened the last box.

Marinette leaned in to look.

‘Do you think that will be enough toys for one kitten?’ said Marinette.

Adrien looked up. ‘I have no idea. Should I order more?’

‘I think you have enough for a start. You don’t want to overwhelm her.’

‘Good point. She was living on the streets before this.’

Marinette rubbed Phantom’s belly.

The kitten slow blinked.

Their dinner arrived shortly after Adrien had finished setting out food and water and the litter box.

He set the tray on the coffee table and dropped onto the couch. ‘How’d you convince our parents to let you come over so late on a school night?’

‘We have a literature test tomorrow.’

‘Fuck.’ Adrien fell back, hitting his head on the arm of the couch. ‘I forgot.’

‘You missed the chance to make a chemistry pun?’ Marinette scowled, knitting her brows together in imitation of Gabriel. ‘I’m insulted.’

‘Sorry, princess.’ He rubbed his face, smearing his makeup. ‘It’s been a day.’

‘All the better than I’m here.’ She continued to pet Phantom. ‘Although with all this cuteness, I’m not sure how we’ll be able to focus.’

‘Did you at least study earlier?’

She nodded, pigtails flopping. ‘Nino and I studied in the library.’

Adrien dragged out his books and notes, spreading them out on the table.

They sat on the floor, the coffee table nearly chest-height at the new angle.

‘How do you get your handwriting to stay so neat?’ said Marinette, arranging them in accordance with the study guide.

‘I attended the Academy of Secretarial Arts, Headmistress: Nathalie Sancoeur. Part of me wonders if my parents hired her just for the eight years of advanced handwriting exercises.’

‘Yikes. I’ll pass.’

He rested his head on her shoulder. ‘I like your handwriting.’

His hand twined with hers. ‘And I like you.’

‘Hee! Ha! Um,’ Marinette’s hand brushed eraser shrapnel from a sheet of paper. ‘We-we should—we should probably start. Maman said to be home by eleven.’

‘And then Chat Noir can stop by your balcony?’

She scratched under his chin. ‘I need to sleep.’

‘What about sleeping at the foot of your bed?’ said a cross-eyed Adrien.

‘Maybe when you grow up.’ Marinette picked up the first page of notes. ‘“In _Le Petit Prince_, the ‘sheep within the box’...”’

They had made steady progress when Adrien’s phone buzzed.

He picked it up and laughed. ‘Look at this!’

Marinette leaned over and laughed at the meme. ‘Where does Nino find these?’

‘Anywhere and everywhere. That reminds me,’ Adrien hunted down a meme he had saved. ‘I knew you would like this one.’

Homework forgotten in the wake of memes, they went back and forth, laughing at the jokes.

Eventually, they worked their way back onto the couch, snuggling closer and closer.

Adrien run his nose along Marinette’s neck. ‘I like it when you sit in my lap.’

‘Does that make me the lap cat?’

‘That was awful.’

She grinned. ‘Oh, look at this one! Alya sent it—’

The bedroom door flew open.

‘Knock first!’ screeched Marinette, jumping halfway out of her seat.

Gabriel had the grace to look embarrassed. ‘You were being too quiet.’

‘We were doing homework and looking at memes!’ shouted Marinette. ‘Do you really think I’m going to jump your son the first time we’re left alone together?’

Adrien rolled off the couch and buried his face in a convenient pillow. 

Gabriel pulled at his collar. ‘I, uh, I—I didn’t—’

‘You might want to think before you do anything in the future!’ shouted Marinette.

Adrien buried his head deeper into the pillow and exhausted his knowledge of Chinese obscenities.

‘It’s my house—’

‘Bull shit! He’s entitled to his privacy!’

A gentle weight landed on Adrien’s back and kneaded his back.

He bit the pillow to keep from yelping.

Somewhere, he heard his father saying, ‘‘My apologies. I’ll remember to knock next time.’

‘See that you do,’ said Marinette. She crossed her arms. ‘Now what was so critically important that you couldn’t wait to knock?’

Adrien slowly raised a head above the line of the couch.

Marinette stood on the couch, arms crossed.

Gabriel glanced at Adrien before looking back to Marinette. ‘I came to ask if you needed a ride home or if your parents would pick you up.’

She jumped over the back of the couch and landed lightly on the floor. With a broad smile, she said, ‘If you or Nathalie could give me a ride, that’d be great.’

Adrien slunk out of view and burrowed under a convenient blanket. He knew that smile all too well.

‘I’ll speak with Nathalie. Excuse me.’

Marinette gave a self-satisfied laugh. ‘He really is easy to bully.’

‘Only because he likes you,’ said Adrien. ‘It would be a completely different story if I took that attitude.’ 

She stuck her head over the couch. ‘Are you hiding?’

‘Yes.’

‘At least you’re honest.’ Marinette looked at the notes on the table. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

He crawled out from under the blanket and up to her. ‘Can I have a kiss before you go?’

‘How about head scratches as well?’

‘I’d ask you to marry me this moment.’

They blushed and looked away quickly.

‘Um,’ Marinette rubbed her arm, ‘yeah.’

‘Just kiss her before your dad gets back,’ said Plagg.

‘Right.’ Adrien did just that.

By the time Nathalie fetched Marinette, they were red-faced for a different reason.

Adrien walked them to the door and waved goodnight to his girlfriend.

He closed the door and started climbing the stairs. 

‘Adrien?’

Adrien turned around.

His father stood in the foyer, hands behind his back. ‘I—,’ he coughed. ‘I really am sorry.’

‘Meow!’ 

Gabriel looked in the direction of Adrien’s bedroom. ‘What was that?’

‘New game! Marinette!’

‘I thought you were doing homework.’

‘And gaming!’

‘Busy night.’

‘Not too busy,’ muttered Adrien.

Gabriel frowned. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Nothing,’ Adrien finished climbing the stairs. ‘Absolutely nothing. Have a good night.’

He closed the door and sat on the floor.

Plagg and Phantom joined him.

‘You have food on your mouth,’ said Adrien.

‘Just this once, it isn’t me,’ said Plagg with a snicker.

‘Is this a kitten you’re willing to groom?’

‘So much responsibility!’ groaned the Kwami.

But he started licking Phantom clean.

She seemed to get the memo and joined in the task. 

As soon as Phantom was clean, Adrien held them close. ‘You’re two of the best parts of my life.’

Gabriel knocked on the door.

Adrien hid Phantom behind his bed before opening the door.

‘Do you mind if I come in?’ said Gabriel. 

‘Sure?’ Adrien held the door open more.

They stood awkwardly.

‘Sorry about Marinette yelling at you.’ Adrien stared at the floor.

‘She was in the right,’ said Gabriel, also studying the floor.

‘Meow!’

The heads of father and son whipped in the direction of the source.

Phantom lay tangled in a ball of yarn.

She tilted her head and gave a dainty mew.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow and looked at his son. ‘A cat?’

‘Yeah-ha-ha.’

‘I thought you were a dog person.’

Adrien looked at his father’s face.

He was smiling.

‘I wouldn’t say no.’

‘Noted.’ Gabriel crouched and carefully freed the cat from her toy. 

She batted at the designer but was soon purring against his chest.

‘Traitor,’ muttered Adrien.

Nathalie set the car keys on their hook.

‘Talia! _Mira!_’

She groaned and rubbed her shoulder. ‘What now, Abuela?’

Her grandmother waved at her from the landing outside Adrien’s bedroom.

Nathalie climbed the steps and peeked inside. 

Gabriel and Adrien sat cross-legged on the floor, watching Phantom eat from her dish, tail flat on the floor.

They were smiling.

More importantly, they looked comfortable.

They looked like a father and son with the newest addition to their family.


	29. The Times They Are A’Changin’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pest issue is getting out of hand at the Agreste Mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep accidentally writing Phandom. May have a problem.
> 
> *Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you have a wonderful day regardless of whether or not you celebrate the holiday!*

Plagg phased through the door, humming and smirking.

He dive-bombed onto Adrien’s pillow, jolting the kid awake. ‘Rise and shine! It’s breakfast time!’

Adrien pulled his pillow over his head.

Phantom stretched and meowed.

Plagg settled on his Chosen’s back. ‘Don’t worry, kitten, I’ll teach you how to cat. See, you extend your claws like this and—yep just like—’

‘Yeow!’ Adrien sat up, launching the kitten across the bed and the Kwami across the room.

Phantom cried and struggled to right herself.

‘Sorry!’ He gathered her in his arms. ‘That hurt! My back is for sleeping, not for sharpening your claws.’

She extended a paw and gently touched his lips.

Adrien melted. ‘Don’t tell Marinette, but you’re my best girl.’

Phantom gave a squeaky meow and blinked.

Plagg groaned and untangled himself from the basketball hoop. ‘Oh-h-h…I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to recover from that.’

‘I’m sure some Camembert will take care of any aches and pains,’ said Adrien, swinging his legs out of bed.

The Kwami continued with his groaning.

Adrien set Phantom down as he opened a package of Camembert.

The kitten twined around his ankles, purring and chirping.

‘No, it’s not your breakfast. I’ll get yours in just a minute.’

Plagg hovered by Adrien’s shoulder. ‘She says she’s starving and may not last out the minute if you take any longer.’

‘Are you sure that’s not just what your stomach is translating?’ Adrien set down the cheese and opened a tiny tin of kitten food.

As soon as they were done eating, a fully-dressed Adrien grabbed his school bag. ‘Come on. Let’s find out if Father and Nathalie will help keep an eye on you.’

Phantom followed Adrien from his room only to stop short when confronted with the stairs.

‘Just like this, see?’ Adrien walked up and down the stairs multiple times. ‘I know my room’s big, but you’re going to want to explore the rest of the mansion.’

She squeaked and jumped to the first step. She gave her Boy an inquiring look.

‘Just like that!’

Phantom followed him down the rest of the stairs and across the foyer.

Adrien knocked on the office door before opening it. ‘Father?’

Gabriel grunted from his position on the couch, eyes fixed on his tablet.

Adrien frowned. That wasn’t his father’s usual grunt. It was more a defeated, the-world-hates-me sort of grunt. ‘Is everything okay? Your hair’s all floppy.’

He looked up from tablet. ‘All of my hair product self-destructed in the night. Nathalie is ordering more.’

‘Oh, that sucks.’

The vibrations emanating from Adrien’s pocket gave him a good idea as to who was responsible for the ‘self’-destruction.

He rubbed a foot against his leg. ‘Um, I was wondering if I could ask a favour.’

‘What is it?’ said Gabriel.

‘Would you mind looking after Phantom? Just because she’s so tiny and the internet said she should eat three or four times a day. And I’m worried about her getting lonely or even lost. Her litter box is in my bathroom.’

‘We’ll look after her.’ Gabriel scratched the cushion beside him.

Phantom’s ears pricked forward. She raced over to the couch and clawed her way up before attacking the designer’s hand.

‘How did you do that?’ said Adrien, smiling broadly. ‘That was so cool!’

‘My mother kept Persians.’ Gabriel smiled as Phantom attacked his stylus.

Adrien stared at his father’s feet. ‘Are you wearing slippers?’

‘Something ate the last of my socks last night.’

‘Don’t you have—’

‘Yes, every single pair has been eaten faster than I can replace them.’

‘That really sucks.’

‘I’m just hoping whatever pest it is doesn’t migrate to the neighbouring drawers.’ He swiped on the tablet screen. ‘Nathalie is arranging for an inspection from an exterminator.’

‘You really are having bad luck.’

Gabriel looked up over his glasses. ‘Tell me something I don’t know.’

‘Um, Marinette texted this morning asking if I would be okay with her getting pink streaks in her hair.’

‘Ah.’

‘I said I wouldn’t mind—’ Adrien chuckled. ‘Who am I kidding? She’d be freaking adorable!

Gabriel’s phone rang.

‘I’ll see you later. Thanks for taking care of Phantom!’

‘Have a good day at school.’ Gabriel picked up his phone.

As he closed the door, Adrien heard his father’s voice take on its normal harsh tone.

Someone was in trouble. Just this once it wasn’t him!

Nathalie was pacing in the dining room. She waved to him as she continued her phone call.

Adrien stopped and stared, wide-eyed at the crimson button-up blouse beneath her blazer today.

She noticed him staring and raised an eyebrow in question.

He gestured to his own shirt.

‘One moment,’ she said to the person on the phone. ‘What?’

‘Nice shirt!’

‘You and your father both. Have a good day at school.’

He waved and hurried to the door, taking her smile to mean she wasn’t too horribly offended at the compliment.

Once in the car, Plagg poked his head out. ‘If I’d only know that a cat was all it took for you and your old man to bond, I would have revealed myself long ago!’

Adrien smiled at the house. ‘Yeah, it’s great.’

He turned around and looked at the Kwami. ‘Now, what’s this about Father’s socks and hair supplies?’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ Plagg turned up his nose. ‘I don’t have late-night cravings for silk and cashmere, and I certainly don’t sneeze in the vicinity of other people’s bathrooms.’

‘Uh-huh. Tikki could make you confess.’

‘I’m not scared of Tikki!’

Adrien conjured up the sternest look possible.

‘Nice try, Kitten, but you just look constipated.’

‘You’re doing wonders for my self-esteem.’

‘Ah, but you’re not the poor person who’s out trying to find your father’s special brand of hair product! And socks.’

Adrien rubbed his nose. ‘You didn’t seriously go to every store in Paris and sneeze on every shelf of hair stuff, did you?’

‘Of course not!’ Plagg grinned. ‘Just the one which happens to carry that fancy-schmancy brand. Poor planning on your father’s part as it’s the only place in Paris that carries it.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘There’s this lovely thing called The Internet and another lovely thing called a Cat’s Ability to Sniff Things Out. Probably would have been faster using Barkk, but I can manage on my own. Much better than any of the insect-based Kwamis ever could.’

‘Sure. Next question: Did you have anything to do with Nathalie’s blouse?’

‘Naw, that was all her family. Abuela put something in Nathalie’s drink last night to make her sleep extra hard.’ Plagg stretched. ‘It was a very busy night. I’m surprised you were able to sleep at all.’

The car went over a bump.

‘If you’re interested in the slightest, the turtlenecks are hidden in Abuela’s suitcase.’

Adrien picked at the cat hair on his jeans. ‘If you had shown me a picture of my family today, I wouldn’t believe you.’

Plagg settled on Adrien’s knee. ‘Sometimes your family is you, your father, your father’s assistant and her two crazy relatives, a cat, and the Kwami of Destruction.’

‘Yeah, but I don’t look anything like my scrubbed-clean look, Father looks almost normal in slippers and without hair gel, and Nathalie—wow, Nathalie looks good.’ He twisted a cat hair in his fingers. ‘I wonder if Father’s noticed.’

‘He’s old, not blind. Do you still want her for a step-mother?’

‘More than ever. How does Christmas in Spain sound?’

‘And what about Marinette?’ trilled the Kwami.

Adrien sighed, the love-sick smile crossing his face. ‘I love her more every day.’

Plagg rolled his eyes. ‘You’re certainly getting worse every day.’

The car dropped Adrien off at the bakery before disappearing into the grey morning.

Tom and Sabine waved at him before finishing with their customers.

As soon as they could, Adrien received his morning quota of hugs and pastry.

‘I’m going to put on so much weight at this rate,’ he said after a mouthful of _pain au chocolat_.

‘You could take up running,’ said Sabine.

Marinette stepped into the bakery, her expression on par with a zombie.

Adrien’s heart hammered at the sight of her in a top-knot.

‘You could take Marinette with you,’ said Tom.

‘Buhg....Morning, princess.’

She gave a half-hearted wave before receiving hugs from her parents.

‘Honey,’ said Sabine, ‘where are your glasses?’

Marinette muttered something intelligible.

‘Glasses?’ said Adrien.

‘New reading glasses,’ said Tom. ‘Marinette, go get your glasses.’

She nodded absently and wandered upstairs.

Sabine said, ‘You haven’t been texting her too late, have you? She’s been more tired in the morning than usual.’

Adrien gave a guilty smile. ‘It’s the middle of Fashion Week, ma’am. I’m happy to remember to put on the correct toner at this rate, never mind text my girlfriend far too late in the evening.’

Tom tried to look threatening and failed, which somehow managed to make him all the more terrifying to Adrien. ‘We were young once, young man. We know what teens do.’

‘Which is why adults are so lief to trust teens,’ said Sabine.

Adrien resisted the urge to edge towards the door.

‘Especially when the teens are sporting leather and multi-coloured hair,’ said Tom, a twinkle in his eye.

‘Good thing she never got with Luka, then,’ muttered Adrien.

‘Luka is a lovely young man,’ said Sabine.

‘He’s a leather-wearing guitar player!’ said Tom. ‘Those are always the most dangerous.’

An ‘Eep!’ squeaked from the general vicinity of the interior door.

They turned.

‘Oh, my God.’ Adrien swayed. ‘Your glasses…’

‘What do you think?’ said Marinette, ducking her head.

‘They’re adorable!’

Adrien sat down before he fell down.

Large, circular glasses perched on her nose. She smiled shyly.

He sighed.

Sabine and Tom laughed.

‘You need to get going if you don’t want to be late,’ said Sabine.

Marinette tucked her glasses in their case. She kissed her parents goodbye. ‘See you after school!’

She pulled Adrien from the floor and dragged him across the street to the school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've seen about five billion fics where Adrien gets glasses. A piece of non-Miraculous art prompted giving Marinette a pair of her specs.


	30. Pest Control

Phantom meowed and rubbed her head against Gabriel’s ankle.

‘What do you need?’ He reached down and scooped her up.

She scratched her head with a back paw.

Gabriel spread her fur, spot checking for fleas.

A fresh batch crawled on her.

She whimpered.

‘Yes, I understand. We’ll get you cleaned up in just a minute. Nathalie?’

She continued typing. ‘Just a minute.’

Phantom gave a piercing meow, ears flattening.

Gabriel stroked her head with his thumb. ‘I understand. It’s not fun at all.’

Nathalie looked up from her typing. ‘Are you cooing?’

‘No.’

She raised an eyebrow and pressed the ‘send’ button for the email. ‘The fleas are back?’

‘They are.’

‘My apologies, sir. I should have remembered to teach Adrien how to bathe her.’

‘I understand. We’ll give her a bath.’

Nathalie squawked. ‘We’re going to what?’

‘Have you ever bathed a cat?’

‘Have you?’

‘It’s not too difficult when they’re this size.’

Nathalie gave him a sceptical look and pulled up instructions on her tablet.

While Gabriel tracked down a nit comb from the supply cabinet, Nathalie collected the necessary bath items.

Phantom protested the comb and kept biting it.

‘Hold still,’ said Gabriel through clenched teeth.

She hissed.

Nathalie hid a smile and filled the bathroom sink with two inches of warm water.

Gabriel shook the comb at the kitten. ‘You’re going to feel much better when this is over. You’re worse than Adrien when he had lice.’

‘I don’t remember you or Emilie helping much with that,’ said Nathalie. 

‘I’m helping now!’

Nathalie set her tablet down and massaged Phantom’s body, coaxing her into the water.

As Nathalie bathed Phantom with a gentle dish soap, Gabriel drowned any fleas fleeing to the top of the kitten’s head.

Phantom continued to bite the comb and even his hand.

‘You’d think she’d know we’re trying to help,’ he said.

Nathalie focussed on rinsing out the soap. ‘Think of her teeth as needles with a different pressure. Towel, please.’

Gabriel pulled the towel from its warming station and carefully dried the tiny animal. 

Phantom immediately purred, clawing her way out of the towel and onto his shoulder. She rubbed her head against his cheek.

‘None of that now.’ He returned her to the towel, drying her as best as possible. ‘You can snuggle on my shoulder later.’

They wrapped Phantom in an old flannel blanket, and Gabriel held her in his arms. 

The kitten yawned and fell into an exhausted sleep.

Nathalie rubbed the exposed nose, smiling softly.

Gabriel studied her, an absent smile on his own face. ‘We make a good team.’

She looked up. ‘We always have.’

Alarms shrieked from the tablet.

Nathalie opened the apps. She hissed. ‘You’re late for an interview.’

‘I’m sure they’ll understand.’ He turned and headed for the office.

‘Gabriel.’

He turned, ears warming. ‘What?’

‘Sorry, sir.’ Her cheeks were tinged pink. ‘You have cat hair and water all over your clothes. I would suggest changing.’

‘Right.’ He looked at the sleeping kitten. ‘Right.’

‘Sir, do you want to do anything with your hair?’

Gabriel ran a hand over it and shook his head. ‘Will you fetch a clean shirt and jacket?’

She gave a curt nodded and hurried off.

He watched his assistant hurry off and waited for the echo of her heels to fade. ‘Come along, Phantom. Back to work for us both.’

Adrien was laughing so hard that he was gasping for air. ‘—And that’s how I found my father wearing slippers while fully dressed!’

‘As funny as that story is,’ said Marinette, ‘I think your resident pest needs a stern talking to. Tikki?’

Tikki popped out of Marinette’s purse and disappeared beneath Adrien’s jacket.

‘Do you mind if they talk in your purse?’ he said. ‘I’d like them far away from my chest should Plagg get angry.’

The Ladybug Kwami stuck her head out. ‘That is an excellent point, Chat Noir.’

Plagg groaned and wailed as Tikki dragged him into the depths of Marinette’s purse.

Marinette said into the purse, ‘No more than one sock per week.’

‘What about electrical wires?’ said Tikki. ‘They’ve been a frequent victim.’

‘No more than once a month.’

‘Ugh, Sugarcube! Pigtails! Why do you have—?’

The door opened on the other side of the lockers and footsteps entered.

Marinette slammed her purse shut and yanked Adrien into a kiss, her fingers gripping the front of his shirt.

‘Mmph?’ His eyes rolled back before fluttering shut. ‘Mmm.’

‘Dudes,’ said an unimpressed Nino, ‘do you really have to do that where anyone can see?’

Marinette nipped Adrien’s lips before shoving him back to his locker.

Adrien wobbled before sprawling on the bench.

Nino peered at his friend. ‘Is he going to be any good for the rest of the day?’

‘He’ll get over it,’ said Marinette. ‘Eventually.’

‘Only until she puts her glasses on,’ said Adrien in a far away voice.

Nino chuckled. ‘Finally caved?’

‘Yeah. I was having trouble seeing stitches.’

‘Kind of important.’ Nino grabbed what he needed and kicked his locker shut. ‘Hey, Lover Boy,’ he nudged Adrien’s foot with his own, ‘how go your plans on playing Cupid?’

‘Haven’t had a chance to talk with Alix. Although…’

Marinette and Nino leaned in.

‘Father’s collection is showing on Thursday, and it just happens that the chosen venue is the Louvre.’

‘That’s convenient.’ Nino smiled smugly. ‘There are a lot of closets in the Louvre, perfect for paying the favour forward just as Alix suggested.’

Marinette said, ‘I’m sure Alix will be happy to get any necessary keys.’

‘I can’t believe we’re discussing locking my father in a closet with Nathalie.’ Adrien laughed. ‘No one will ever believe this!’

‘They’re pretty tightly wound when around each other,’ said Marinette.

‘That’s just them being them.’

Nino and Marinette made noncommittal sounds.

‘You want to prove it?’ said Adrien. ‘Come to lunch.’

‘Er, are you sure about that?’ said Nino.

‘Please?’ said Adrien. ‘Abuela’s always complaining about how we don’t eat enough.’

Marinette twisted a pigtail. ‘Are you sure your father isn’t sick of how often I come over?’

Adrien snorted. ‘Please, if child marriages were still legal, we’d be wed and bed by now.’

He realised what he’d said.

‘Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now it’s awkward,’ said Nino. ‘Maybe I should—’

‘Abuela mentioned something about homemade chorizo.’

‘Was I thinking about skipping? I’m definitely coming!’

‘If she’s anything like my Chinese grandma,’ said Marinette, ‘we’ll be back to school late due to Nino eating so much.’

‘Is that a challenge, Dupain-Cheng?’ said Nino.

She stuck out her chin. ‘Scared, Lahiffe?’

‘You wish.’

They dabbed (because canon is still stuck in 2015), looped their arms through Adrien’s, and ran to the town car’s usual waiting spot.

Adrien texted Nathalie about the extra guests and listened to his friends trash talk each other in the back seat.

‘You can’t handle Spanish food!’ said Nino as they drove up.

‘Excuse me?’ screeched Marinette.

Adrien opened the door for her.

‘Thank you, dear.’ She patted Adrien’s arm before turning her attention back to Nino. ‘You’re the one who couldn’t handle Chinese mustard!’

‘You’re the one who had to go to the hospital after eating Gran’s curry!’

Esther opened the front door and raised an eyebrow at the guests. ‘Do they always argue like this?’

Adrien said, ‘Marinette will fight anyone on just about anything involving food or videogames.’

‘That’s adorable.’ Esther sipped from her glass. ‘I see why you like her.’

He sniffed. ‘Are you drinking?’

‘It’s past noon and your father and Nathalie have enough romantic tension to make Darcy and Elizabeth jealous. Abuela’s cooking and probably doing _brujeria _in an effort to speed things up.’

‘Speed what up?’

Esther raised her eyebrows and blinked several times. ‘Wow, she wasn’t kidding about _los tontos Agreste_.’

‘Huh?’

‘_Pobre niño._ _Escucha: _We’re technically going to be cousins, but I’m adopting myself as your vodka aunt right here and now.’

‘Vodka aunt? Is that anything like a wine mom?’

Esther cackled. ‘No, quite the opposite.’ She snickered. ‘Very much the opposite.’

A chill ran up his spine. Adrien wondered if this was how his father had felt every minute of the last several days.

‘Nathalie’s the wine mom if ever there was one.’

Adrien’s face contorted with confusion.

Esther nudged him towards the dining room. ‘Go eat. Abuela made _Caldo Gallego. _She’s going to be over the moon that you brought friends.’

‘_Niña!’ _shrieked Abuela from the dining room. ‘You brought a friend!’

‘This is Nino,’ said Marinette.

‘Niño?’

‘Oh, boy.’ Adrien ran to the dining room.

Esther strolled after him.

‘What kind of name is Niño?’ said Abuela.

‘It’s my name,’ said Nino, hands shoved in his pockets.

Abuela waved her hand and muttered something about parents. ‘_Basta;_ you need to eat. Sit down, _niños_. I’ll see if we can drag those _idiotas _out.’

The teens grabbed chairs and sat.

Through the open doors, they could just see Abuela knocking on the door of the office. ‘Time to eat. Talia! Gabriel!’

Esther took a chair. ‘Go ahead and eat. Today’s entertainment is going to take more time that you have.’

Adrien led the charge. He took a spoonful and blew on the soup.

Nathalie opened the office door. ‘We’re in a video conference. Fifteen minutes.’

‘You need to eat. Adrien and his friends are here.’

‘We’ll eat when we’re done.’ Nathalie closed the door.

Abuela crossed her arms.

‘This is the best soup I’ve ever had,’ said Nino, all put sucking it down. ‘You said something about chorizo?’

Esther passed the serving dish, one eye tracking the drama outside.

‘Holy shit! This is amazing!’ said Nino.

‘Ay! Not in front of Jesus!’ yelled Abuela.

‘What?’

Esther pointed at a candle on the mantle. It sported a picture of a shepherd on the front.

Adrien tilted his head, confused. ‘What is that?’

‘Ask Nathalie,’ said Esther. 

The doorbell rang.

Adrien ran to answer it and found Alix waving at the security camera.

As she stepped into the house, Abuela ripped off her slipper and banged it against the door.

‘Shit,’ said Alix. ‘What’s going on?’

‘I’m not even sure at this point,’ said Adrien, ‘but my father’s going to be majorly pissed by the time he gets out.’

They found Marinette and Esther eating in silence.

‘Where’s Nino?’ said Adrien.

‘Under the table.’ Marinette scraped the last bit of soup from her bowl.

Adrien and Alix crouched down.

‘What are you doing under there?’ said Alix.

‘You’ve never seen an angry Indian mom,’ said Nino, knees drawn up to his chest.

‘She’s Spanish.’

‘When it comes to flying slippers, it doesn’t matter.’

Marinette stuck her head under the table. ‘We could arrange for a tactical retreat to any other room in the house. There are a few of them.’

Adrien made a face at her.

‘Sit down right now!’ yelled Abuela.

Everyone jumped into their seats, shoulders straight.

Esther closed the double doors and went to inform the chefs of Alix’s arrival.

The pink-haired girl gave Adrien a mock punch. ‘I never knew your house was so exciting.’

‘It wasn’t until four days ago,’ said Adrien.

‘A week,’ said Alix. ‘That’s when your new look first appeared.’

He pulled on his hair. ‘Has it only been a week? As if Fashion Week didn’t feel like a month already.’

‘Speaking of Fashion Week,’ said Alix, ‘guess who found the perfect closet!’

‘Excellent,’ said Marinette.

‘The difficult part is luring them in,’ said Adrien, tapping his spoon against his teeth.

They jumped when Esther said, ‘Are you conspiring to lock Gabe and Nath in a closet?’

The teens exchanged guilty glances.

‘Yes?’ squeaked Adrien.

Esther grinned. ‘Count me in.’

‘Uh, are you sure?’

‘What part of “vodka aunt” don’t you understand?’

A figurative lightbulb went off. ‘Oh!’

Alix studied the newcomer. ‘You seem more like a tequila cousin.’

‘_Mijita_, tequila cousins wish they were as exciting as me.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish Translations: 
> 
> brujeria: witchcraft 
> 
> lost tontos: the fools
> 
> pobre nino. esucha: Poor boy/kid. Listen.
> 
> basta: enough
> 
> Mijita: My little 'daughter' [term of endearment despite relationship]


	31. ‘¡Nadie Me Ayuda en Esta Casa!’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathalie's nearing the breaking point and Abuela steals Gabriel's suit jackets. The man is now gelless, sockless, and jacketless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! 
> 
> Another chapter that I'm not entirely happy with due to it being part of a gradual build-up and a lack of cute crackiness. We're about two chapters from bringing things to a boiling point if anyone's interested in the projected forecast.

The office door squeaked on its hinges.

‘_Por fin!_’ called Abuela. ‘_Creo que hacen un bebé!_’

‘Abuela! _Basta!_’

Everyone—even Esther—suddenly became very interested in their food.

Abuela pushed the door open and pointed at the chairs. ‘_Se sientan_ and eat.’

Gabriel took his seat without a word.

Adrien choked on his food.

Abuela beat him on the back until he could breathe again.

Marinette dropped her spoon at the sight at her idol and future father-in-law. ‘Mr Agreste? Are you—are you wearing a cardigan?’

He nodded.

Alix and Nino stared wide-eyed.

‘Who are you and what have you done with my friend’s father?’ whispered Nino.

Abuela loaded more chorizo and rice onto Nino’s plate. ‘He’s a better _padre_ or will be by the time I go home.’

‘I asked you here to help Nathalie,’ said Gabriel, studying the chorizo before taking a bite.

‘And I am! Once you’re a better father, you’ll be a better _jefe_.’ She muttered, ‘_Y novio_.’

Esther snickered.

Nathalie’s lips made a thin line, the rest of her face taking a pinched tone. ‘Abuela, that isn’t funny.’

‘_Si_, _yo sé._’ Her eyes twinkled behind her glasses.

Something brushed Adrien’s leg.

He reached down and pet Phantom. ‘Hey, kitty.’

The cat winked at him before greeting everyone else.

Gabriel grunted when the cat jumped into his lap. He reached a hand under the table to pet Phantom.

Adrien rolled his eyes. ‘I see how it is. I rescue her, feed her, give her toys—’

‘Your father is home all the time,’ said Nathalie. ‘Children need time and affection as much as food and toys.’

Gabriel started to say something, thought better of it, and focussed his attention on the cat.

Abuela said, ‘No pets or toys at the table.’

‘Phantom is a member of the family,’ said Gabriel.

Nathalie picked up her buzzing phone.

Abuela snatched it away. ‘It’s lunch time. Whoever that is can wait.’

Nathalie glowered and took a pointed bite of her soup.

‘Mr Agreste, I didn’t realise you were a cat person,’ said Marinette.

Adrien grinned. ‘He has no choice.’

‘Dog people are contractually obligated to go outside,’ said Nathalie.

She promptly received high-fives from both Adrien and Nino.

The phone buzzed again.

From the office, something vibrated before crashing.

Everyone flinched.

Adrien said, ‘Was that—?’

Nathalie nodded, her face turning a dark red. ‘The tablet vibrating itself off my desk? Yes.’

_Plink! _

A bobby pin landed on the floor.

Adrien ate faster.

‘Eat slowly, _niño._’

Phantom jumped from Gabriel’s lap and circled around the foreign object on the floor. She sniffed it before crouching and studying it. Her ears stuck forward as her whiskers twitched.

‘What’s she doing?’ said Adrien.

‘Waiting to see if it’s friend, foe, or prey,’ said Gabriel.

Phantom’s left paw batted at the bobby pin, sending it flying across the room.

She ran after it, running between people’s feet in her hunt.

Nathalie finished her soup and set her serviette on the table. ‘Thank you for lunch—’

‘Sit down and eat more.’

‘Abuela, it’s Fashion Week. As lovely as your intentions are—’

The matriarch slammed a plate in front of Nathalie. ‘Sit down and eat!’

‘I have a job to do.’

‘You act like the company wouldn’t last a day without you.’

'Because it wouldn't!' 

Adrien lay down his fork, his hunger disappearing as the tension heightened.

‘But, why, _chica_? Why do you—?’

‘_Porque nadie me ayuda en esta casa_!’

Nathalie clapped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide in horror.

Esther side-eyed her grandmother and finished her drink.

In a gentle tone, Abuela said, ‘Perhaps you are a mother after all.’

Nathalie took her phone back and strode from the room.

‘Excuse us, please,’ said Marinette. ‘Thank you for the meal, Mrs Ochoa.’

The teens left Gabriel picking at his food.

In the foyer, Nino and Alix grabbed their coats and bags.

‘Looks like you need a minute,’ said Alix to Adrien.

Nino gave Adrien a hug. ‘See you in a few.’

The office door was cracked open.

As he pulled his coat on, Adrien listened to Nathalie on the phone.

‘Yvonne, so glad you could pick up. Remember that mountain of favours you owe me?’

Marinette took Adrien’s hand.

He hugged her tightly, pressing his cheek against her head.

‘…A little bird may tell your partner about those trips to Majorca…Yes, the trips you put on your expense account.’

So this is what ‘leverage’ sounded like.

‘Yes,’ purred Nathalie. ‘It’s been a pleasure doing business.’

‘Yikes,’ whispered Marinette.

Nathalie stepped out of the office and raised an eyebrow at the teens. ‘You’re going to be late back to school.’

‘Um,’ Adrien rubbed his hands against his legs, ‘I’m not feeling so great.’

‘It wouldn’t be wise to skip your afternoon classes.’

Marinette’s thumb rubbed his hand. ‘What if he spent the afternoon with my parents?’

Nathalie’s eyes flicked to the dining room. ‘What I don’t know about isn’t my problem.’

‘Thanks.’ Adrien’s smile wobbled.

She placed a hand on his shoulder. ‘I’m not mad at you.’

‘I know. It’s just—’ His feet shuffled.

Nathalie pulled him close, her hand smoothing his hair. ‘I’m sorry you got caught in the cross-fire.’

He nodded, eyes closed, listening to her heartbeat.

A chair scraped in the dining room.

Adrien gave Nathalie an extra hard hug and stepped back. He sniffed. ‘I’ll be ready for rehearsal tonight.’

She nodded. ‘I’ll be there.’

‘Thanks.’ He glanced at the dining room. ‘Why is Father in a cardigan?’

‘My grandmother hid all of his suit jackets and replaced them with cardigans.’ She gave a weak smile. ‘Sound familiar?’

Adrien managed a real smile. ‘I know better than to go into your bedroom, never mind mess with your clothes.’

‘I know. I trained you well.’

Marinette said, ‘You look really nice in a blouse.’

‘Thank you.’ Nathalie studied the girl. ‘Are you all right?’

She shrugged. ‘There’s a lot more tension here than I’m used to.’

Adrien kissed Marinette’s cheek. ‘I know a good bakery where we can fix that.’

They waved goodbye to Nathalie and took the car back to school.

As soon as the Gorilla dropped them off, Marinette tugged on Adrien’s hand. ‘School or bakery?’

‘Bakery. Maybe school later.’ Adrien chewed his lip.

‘We can take the long way around the block.’

‘You hate the cold.’

‘Yeah, but,’ Marinette tightened her scarf and pulled her stocking cap lower, ‘I love you more.’

Adrien beamed. ‘Really?’

She laughed shyly. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t say that when we’ve only been dating four days, but—’

‘We’re Ladybug and Chat Noir. I think fighting supervillains for as long as we have expediates the process.’ He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they walked the long way to the bakery.

Marinette nestled close, tucking her head against his chest. She rubbed her face against his wool coat.

He laughed. ‘Are you the cat now?’

She blinked. ‘Meow?’

‘Meow!’

They froze.

Adrien’s bag wriggled.

‘Plagg? Is that you?’

The Kwami stuck his head out of Marinette’s scarf and yawned. ‘Huh?’

‘Tikki?’ said Marinette.

Muffled sounds came from the other side of her scarf.

Adrien opened the bag.

Phantom blinked at him. She tilted her head before pouncing on his fingers.

‘How?’ said Adrien. ‘And why?’

The cat shivered.

He pulled her out of the canvas bag and tucked her beneath his coat.

She purred against his chest.

‘I see I’ve been deposed,’ said Marinette, smiling at the kitten.

Phantom gave a squeaky meow and rubbed her head against Adrien’s chest.

He grinned at the cat and kissed Marinette’s cheek. ‘Today’s looking better already. I have my girls, I have my Kwamis—’

Marinette booped his nose. ‘And now we’re going to eat our emotions as sanctioned by Big Sister and my parents. Come along, my pretty kitties.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish Translations: 
> 
> Por fin! Creo que hacen un bebe: At last! I thought you were making a baby!
> 
> jefe: boss
> 
> novio: literal translation: boyfriend; contextual translation: fiance
> 
> Si, yo sé: Yes, I know. 
> 
> ‘Porque nadie me ayuda en esta casa!’ : Because nobody helps me in this house!


	32. Nathalie’s Relaxing Afternoon and Gabriel’s Lack Thereof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next person who comments some variation of 'poor Gabriel' is getting turned into an employee caught in Nathalie's beam of rage.

The grey town car pulled to a stop in front of the corporate building.

Nathalie stepped out, balancing in the new six-inch heels.

It was the click which caught people’s attention. It was the set of her jaw which sent people scurrying to learn her wishes.

A young man in a charcoal suit was waiting for her in the lobby. ‘Ms Sancoeur, welcome. I’m Reynard Vos.’

‘Yes, Yvonne said she had found me a personal assistant.’ Nathalie went straight to the elevator.

Reynard pressed the button for the top floor.

In the ridiculous but useful shoes, Nathalie noticed he was still taller than her, placing him somewhere near Gabriel’s height.

This would be fun. ‘Which department were in you before?’

‘Internal auditing, ma’am.’

‘Excellent.’ Nathalie pulled up a list on her phone and emailed it to him. ‘Have these items delivered in the next hour. We have two meetings immediately after that. How well do you know board members by sight?’

‘Not at all, I’m afraid. We don’t out much in Auditing.’

‘Understandable. Learn and memorise them before the next meeting.’ Nathalie stepped out of the elevator and went directly to the rarely used office.

‘Ms Sancoeur! You’re back!’ cried the receptionist, a petite red-head. ‘Are you back for good?’

Nathalie allowed herself the slightest of smiles. ‘Have you been bored?’

‘And worried for my job! There’s not much point of a receptionist for a floor that isn’t used.’

‘Receptionist is an insult. You’re even more of a gatekeeper than I am.’

The woman giggled. ‘What can I help with?’

‘I’ll send a list. And have custodial do an extra thorough cleaning.’

‘Is Mr Agreste coming back?’

‘He’ll certainly be leaving the house more.’ Nathalie stepped into her office, really the antechamber to Mr Agreste’s work office.

She sighed as she sat in her old chair. ‘It’s good to be back. Reynard, your workstation is there.’

He looked at the desk opposite her. A freshly installed computer and monitor sat on the desk. ‘I’ll get started on the list unless there’s anything you need right now.’

‘Just coffee.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’

Nathalie booted up her computer. She smiled with satisfaction as the necessary files were pulled from the cloud.

Reynard delivered a coffee tray before leaving on his quest.

She sipped at the fresh brew and nearly moaned. Internal auditing he may be, but his coffee skills were excellent.

Now to see if the rest of his skills were up to par.

Nathalie relaxed into her chair and opened the last file she had been working on

Muffled sounds of life from the rest of the building and even the outside filled the quiet.

It was good to be back.

No relatives, a personal assistant of her own, and a chance to interact with more than three people during the work day.

Based on the calendar, she might even have time for a quiet dinner before the evening’s activities began.

This was the life.

A shoe squeaked on the marble.

Gabriel looked up from his workstation.

A young woman with fawn-coloured hair hovered by the door.

‘Who are you?’ he said.

‘I’m Finley? Ms St John assigned me as your temporary assistant?’

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed. ‘Ms St John?’

‘Ms Yvonne St John? You told her to have me trained as Ms Sanceour’s backup?’

‘I did no such—’ He picked up his ringing phone. ‘Gabriel.’

‘Mr Agreste, this is Yvonne. Just checking in to see if Finley has met your standards.’

Gabriel studied the woman—barely more than a child, really—all but tiptoeing over to Nathalie’s desk. ‘Don’t touch that!’

Finley’s hand recoiled from the computer.

She promptly slipped on a broken piece of tablet.

Gabriel winced as she barely caught the desk, saving herself from falling. ‘Is this the best you could find?’

‘For an internal hire at this time of year, yes,’ said Yvonne. ‘Next month we are more than happy to discuss a more permanent solution.’

‘And a sixteen-year-old failed model is the best you could find?’

‘I’m twenty-five,’ said Finley, picking up the pieces of the tablet. ‘I took my MBA from King’s College London.’

Gabriel gave her one of his less aggressive glares and pulled up the tracker on Nathalie’s phone.

She was at corporate. Based on hastily accessed security logs, she was in the actual office.

‘This is a trap,’ he muttered.

‘I’m sorry?’ said Yvonne.

He hung up and glared at the information on the screen.

The perfect trap, one which he had helped set himself.

A calendar reminder popped up in the corner of his screen.

He opened it and scowled more deeply.

‘Mr Agreste?’ said Finley. ‘What can I do right now?’

‘Don’t touch anything.’ Gabriel left the office and disappeared into a spare room.

He called Nathalie.

The phone rang once. A man’s voice said, ‘Gabriel Agreste’s office. How might I assist?’

‘This is Gabriel Agreste,’ said Gabriel in his harshest tone. ‘Where is Nathalie?’

The man gulped. ‘My apologies, Mr Agreste! I’m Ms Sancoeur’s new personal assistant. I’ll transfer you right now!’

Gabriel paced about the room as classical music played.

It stopped with a sudden, ‘This is Nathalie.’

‘What the hell are you doing?’

‘Making sure I don’t turn in my letter of resignation before the week is up.’

His slippered foot caught on the edge of a rug and sent him flying.

At the sound of his yelp, Nathalie said, ‘Sir, are you all right?’

‘I’m fine,’ he growled. ‘Or I would be if your replacement wasn’t some idiot lacking the confidence to speak properly.’

‘I see, sir.’

‘Are you smiling?’

‘No, sir; I wouldn’t dare.’

‘You’re enjoying this.’

Her tone turned serious. ‘I’m enjoying the freedom of having someone else make my coffee. I’m enjoying not having my family interrupting every five minutes. And yes, I am enjoying being in a space with other people.’

Gabriel sat on a chair only to jump up at the protests of a squeaky toy mouse. Turning it in his hand, he said, ‘You enjoyed the quiet of the home office.’

‘It’s also been nearly four years since you started working primarily from home.’

‘Please don’t leave me.’

Sounds of life trickled through the phone.

‘You could always join us here,’ said Nathalie at last. ‘The board would be much more responsive if you were physically present.’

Gabriel set the toy mouse on the floor. ‘You know why I can’t.’

‘Very well.’ Something clattered at her end of the line. ‘Enjoy the rest of your afternoon, sir.’

Gabriel stared at the silent phone as he shuffled across the room.

In the garden below, a statue of Emilie smiled serenely at the garden.

He rested his head against the glass and closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just updated the chapter because I forgot that Phantom is with Adrien. Apologies, y'all, and thanks for being kind in your corrections.


	33. #Nathriel

Adrien climbed out of the car and walked towards the bright lights of the Louvre. He followed the sound of a low whistle. 

Alix’s familiar hair stood out against the side door.

He glanced at the car before running across the courtyard. ‘Find something?’

‘Yup. Got five minutes?’

‘I’m so late at this point, five minutes isn’t going to make any difference in my grounding.’ He followed her through a series of corridors and past the various exhibits. ‘Thanks for doing this. I owe you.’

‘And don’t forget it.’ Alix tucked the key card in her pocket while spinning a full key ring on her finger. ‘I’ll collect in the form of your firstborn.’

‘What are you going to do with a kid? Are you secretly some sort of witch in the woods?’

‘Already am; thanks for noticing.’

‘Paw-some.’

She side-eyed him.

‘Er,’ he rubbed the back of his neck, ‘just so you know, you’re going to have to take up the whole “first born” thing with Marinette.’

‘Really? Why haven’t I gotten an invitation to the wedding yet?’

He blushed. ‘Still looking for a loophole for getting married at Sacre Coeur.’

‘Rich people, I swear.’ Alix stopped by a discreet door.

The sound of amp music echoed through the museum.

Alix swiped her key card. ‘It’s technically not a closet,’ she said, throwing open the door.

Adrien surveyed the space. ‘It’s perfect. Larger than a closet, smaller than an office. Any idea what it was used for?’

Alix shrugged. ‘Haven’t beat it out of Jalil yet. But it’s close enough to the event that Nathriel shouldn’t be too horribly suspicious when we lure them down.’

‘“Nathriel”? You gave them a ship name?’

‘Yeah, why?’

Adrien grinned and wagged his eyebrows. ‘Everyone knows that there’s no going back once you name something.’

‘Eh, it’s easier than saying their individual names and less awkward than accidentally calling them your parents.’ Alix closed the door and swiped her key card to lock it. ‘You and Marinette are going to mostly responsible for getting them down here.’

‘How far exactly are we?’

‘Two corridors—’

A familiar clicking of heels sent Alix scurrying away.

Adrien turned and waved. ‘Hi, Nathalie,’ he said in a too bright tone. ‘You’re—wow, you’re really tall right now. Like, really tall. Are those the shoes Father gave you?’

‘My feet hurt and you’re late,’ said the E.A.

‘We were making traditional crepes.’

‘Which is why you used an employee entrance?’ Nathalie ushered him to the stage. ‘Why is your hair in a ponytail?’

He pulled the hair tie out. ‘To keep hair from falling into the food,’ he said, putting it on his wrist.

Nathalie held out her hand. ‘I’ll keep it safe.’

‘Nuh-uh! I’ve seen too many movies to hand over such a sacred item.’

‘It’s a hair tie. If Marinette’s like every other person on the planet, there are half a million crawling around her house.’

Adrien grimaced at the image.

Nathalie slipped the hair tie from his wrist and shoved him into the dressing area.

‘Finally!’ N2 and a makeup artist shoved him into the chair and got to work.

‘Is this flour?’ said the makeup artist.

N2 sniffed. ‘Is this egg in your hair?’

Adrien squirmed. ‘Probably and most likely.’

The artists groaned.

‘Why couldn’t you make it easy for us just once,’ said the makeup artist.

‘What are you talking about?’ said Adrien. ‘This is the first time I’ve caused trouble.’

The stage manager stuck his head in. ‘Mr Agreste wants to know where Adrien is!’

‘Two minutes!’ said N2, scrubbing at the egg in the model’s hair. ‘I’ll believe a lot of things about you, kid, but a perfect angel isn’t one of them. You sneak out more than a standard film teen.’

‘Er, yeah? Other than those times, I’ve been a perfect angel.’

‘Whatever. Just close your eyes.’

Three minutes and forty-eight seconds later, Adrien threw a jacket over his shoulders and pouted his way across the catwalk.

He lost it at the sight of his father in the front row. He sputtered before doubling over with laughter. ‘Sorry! You look Jack from _Titanic_!’

Gabriel crossed his sweatered arms and scowled.

Adrien reigned in his laughter but continued to snicker.

Nathalie walked up the aisle and stood by Gabriel’s side, a tablet clasped to her chest. She raised an eyebrow at Adrien’s laughter.

He cleared his throat and continued down the catwalk.

Saunter; pivot; pose.

His eyebrows rose as his father stared at Nathalie, a crooked smile on Gabriel’s face.

Adrien nearly tripped over his own feet as he made his way backstage.

Sweat beaded on his brow.

Was his father actually aware of his affection for Nathalie? Of the chance for their family to be whole again?

Adrien slipped out of his jacket and hid behind a rack of clothing. He counted backwards, calming his breathing.

The plan could actually work. 

Different people walked through the dressing area.

A handful of half-familiar voices chatted.

‘Did you see how he was looking at her?’ said a woman’s voice. ‘So scandalous.’

‘In his defence, she’s a total snack,’ said a makeup artist. ‘Do have any idea as to the betting pool on who finally gets to nail her?’

‘Like she’ll settle for anything less than the top,’ said a man’s voice.

‘If those looks were anything to go by, he’s absolutely starving.’

‘Not surprised after what his first wife pulled.’

Curtains swished.

‘Mr Agreste wants everyone front and centre,’ said the stage manager. 

Adrien waited for them to leave before moving. Nathalie had always said listening to gossip would land him in trouble.

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

Marinette.

His toes curled as he hit the answer button. ‘Hey, Purr-incess.’

‘Hey, Alley Cat. Can you stop by tonight? I have a special present waiting here for you. Ten minutes?’

He leaned against the wall. ‘Let’s see if I can do it in eight.’

She laughed. ‘I’ll be timing it.’

Adrien hung up and looked around, gnawing on his lower lip. He snuck out the back way.

‘Everything okay, _chico?_’

‘Gah!’

Esther raised an eyebrow as Adrien jumped a solid six inches.

Funny—and by funny he meant _absolutely terrifying_—how much she looked like a tiny, blonde version of Nathalie.

‘Everything’s fine. Um,’ he rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Have you seen Nathalie?’

‘Currently fighting as your father’s champion against someone called Audrey.’

‘Audrey’s here?’ Adrien groaned. ‘Where’s Father?’

‘Officially, checking hem-lengths. Unofficially, hiding while letting Nathalie fight yet another battle for him.’

‘Yeah, that’s been their M.O., mmm, basically ever since she was hired on.’

Esther chuckled. ‘What do you need?’

‘Marinette asked me over, and I really need to get out of here. Also, bad things happened last time—no, bad things always happen when Father and Audrey are in the same room.’

‘Go on. I’ll tell Nathalie where you’re at.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘As your self-appointed vodka aunt, hell yes. Go get your princess.’

He kissed her cheeks. ‘Thank you, Tante Esther!’

‘Technically I’m going to be your _prima_ but you can call me _tia_.’

‘Tia Esther.’ Adrien gave her a sweeping bow. ‘A pleasure to make your acquaintance.’

‘Have a good night and don’t forget to take a condom.’

Adrien took the first room without a security camera.

Plagg popped out. ‘She’s right about the condom.’

‘Guh—Just, Plagg! Claws out!’

As he was about to climb out the window, Chat Noir caught sight of his hair. He sighed. ‘Plagg, claws in.’

The Kwami spun out. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘You didn’t change my hair.’

‘You never specified needing your hair changed.’

Adrien conjured up a reasonable impression of his father’s most unamused face. ‘Change it back to blond when I’m Chat Noir.’

Plagg rolled his eyes. ‘You have no sense of humour. Just tell everyone you merged with the Peacock Miraculous!’

‘There’s a Peacock Miraculous?’

‘Claws out!’ Plagg dove into the ring, transforming Adrien into his usual Chat Noir self.

Eleven minutes after hanging up, Chat Noir landed on the balcony and tapped on the skylight.

Marinette unlocked it and stuck her head out.

‘Meow?’ he said before blepping.

She grinned. ‘You can save the cute for another say. I’m the one who invited you over.’

‘I can honestly say I’ve never been so thankful for your call.’ He crawled through the window and landed on her bed. ‘What’s up?’

Marinette ran to her desk and collected a tiny box wrapped in paper and a bow. ‘It was Tikki’s idea and I couldn’t wait to give it to you!’

Chat Noir turned the package over in his claws. He shook it.

‘Just open the package!’

He studied the tiny white box. ‘Where did you find this? It’s so cute! Is it for a single macaron?’

‘Mini-macarons,’ said Tikki. She flew in tight circles. ‘Hurry up and open it, Chat Noir!’

He opened the box and pulled out a tiny hoodie that said ‘Cheezie Boi’ in green embroidery. ‘No way! Plagg! Claws in!’

The Kwami spun out of the ring with a groan. ‘Anything that has you this excited can’t be good.’ 

He squeaked as Adrien grabbed him and shoved the shirt on.

‘Stop squirming,’ muttered Adrien.

Tikki dove into a basket on the desk and emerged with a black hoodie of her own. The pink embroidery read ‘Lucky Girl’. ‘We match!’

Plagg sat on the bed, arms crossed. ‘I hate you all.’

‘You keep saying that,’ said Marinette. ‘And yet it’s not just cheese that keeps you here.’

She picked him up and kissed the top of his head.

‘Aw!’ Plagg sighed, a sappy grin on his face. ‘You’re not so bad.’

‘A lot calmer than my life right now.’ Adrien leaned back against the wall and tapped his feet together. ‘Father is officially hiding at this point.’

‘And you are doing what exactly?’

‘Spending quality time with my girlfriend, obviously!’

She laughed. ‘You mean hiding?’

Marinette settled next to him and put his arm across her shoulders. ‘You’re always welcome here. My parents are more than happy to have you over.’

He ran his fingers up and down her arm, enjoying her shivers. ‘We should draft a formal statement concerning the recovery of Hawkmoth’s Miraculous.’

‘We should.’

A text notification pinged.

Marinette opened the text and smiled before texting back.

Adrien nuzzled her hair. ‘Who’s that?’

‘Luka.’

‘You’re texting other guys?’

‘Only because you’re here.’

He thought for a moment. ‘What about when I’m not here?’

‘Then I’m usually chatting with Chat Noir.’

‘Why? What does he have that I don’t?’

‘A lack of curfew,’ said Plagg.

‘Hey!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish Translations: 
> 
> Primero: First
> 
> Secundo: Second
> 
> Chisme es vida. : Gossip is life.


	34. Part of My World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Esther drags Nathalie to a party 'just like in school'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally here! Took two weeks courtesy of the holiday. This chapter and the next were born while doing tedious work and listening to the Off-Broadway cast recording of 'Hunchback of Notre Dame", specifically 'Tavern Song (Thai Mol Piyas)'.

The doors flew open as Nathalie left the building. ‘Idiots, all of them.’

‘I know exactly what will cut the tension,’ said Esther, falling into step beside her.

She glanced at her cousin. ‘No.’

‘Come on,’ said Esther. ‘Live a little.’

‘I can’t.’ Nathalie power walked around the courtyard.

Esther had to run to catch up, her heels clacking loudly. ‘Why? We’re not kids anymore. It’s not a school night for us.’

‘I have to get Adrien home. And I have work in the morning.’

Esther guided her cousin to the kerb. ‘Adrien’s gone and not your responsibility anymore.’

‘He’s gone?’ Nathalie spun on her heel. ‘I have to—’

‘Nuhuhuh!’ Esther hooked her arm through Nathalie’s and hailed a taxi. ‘That boy is old enough to get into his own mischief. It’ll be good for him.’

‘But—’

Esther shoved Nathalie in and gave the driver an address. She adjusted the white shawl over her shimmery black dress. ‘As the mother of three boys of similar ages, trust me. Let him get into trouble now and you won’t have to deal with it once he’s come into his trust fund.’

Nathalie gnawed on her lip, trying to argue the logic.

Esther smiled predatorily. ‘Next protest?’

‘As Mr Agreste’s assistant—’

‘It wouldn’t be appropriate for you to slum with the rest of us?’

‘Considering how I have authority over so many of these people?’

‘_Primero_, we’re going to the after-party for a completely different fashion house—’

‘All the more—!’

‘_Y secundo_, we’re going to be surrounded by our own people. They won’t rat you out to as cold a fish as the Gabriel Himself.’

‘You’ve caught that far up on the gossip already?’

Esther shimmied, making the sequins on her dress dance. ‘_Chisme es vida_.’

The taxi stopped.

‘When was the last time you had fun and cut loose?’ said Esther before stepping out.

Nathalie took a deep breath and joined her cousin.

Esther slid her arm through Nathalie’s as they walked along the street and up a dark walkway. ‘Just this once, listen to me. Do something incredibly stupid, something that’ll cause a splash, upset the status quo. It’ll be just like when we were in school.’

On seeing Nathalie, the doorman held the door open. ‘Spanish only from here out.’

‘_Claro,_’ said Esther.

He eyed Nathalie. ‘There is a dress code.’

‘Told you were too stuffy,’ said Esther.

‘When?’ Nathalie slipped her blazer off, exposing her bare arms, and tossed it at her cousin. She unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse and tied the bottom half into a crop top. ‘Better?’

‘Nice bra.’ Esther studied the outfit, smirking slightly. ‘So stuffy and yet you still have your belly button piercing.’

Nathalie looked at the dangling jewel. ‘I couldn’t bother to get rid of it.’

The doorman nodded. ‘Much better. Enjoy your evening.’

He removed the velvet rope and the cousins stepped inside.

Latin music played and people danced or chatted in small groups.

A server brought up a tray of shots. ‘Ladies.’

‘Cheers.’ Esther took two and held out one to her cousin. ‘Come on. You need to relax.’

Nathalie studied the shot before looking back to Esther’s face. ‘No alcohol. Doctor’s orders.’

‘Fuck the doctors and live a little.’ Esther jiggled the glass. ‘We’re Ochoas. Our blood is supposed to be thirty percent pacharan.’

The server looked from one woman to the other.

‘Fine.’ Nathalie took the shot and downed it.

‘That’s more like it!’

They found a table by the bar and Esther ran to get drinks.

By the time she returned, Nathalie’s glasses had fogged up.

She removed them and fanned her face. ‘I forgot how hot it gets.’

‘You need to come home more often. You’re weak now.’ Esther lined up six shot glasses on the tiny table between them. ‘Ready?’

Nathalie picked up a shot glass. ‘To fucking up.’

‘To fucking up.’

After the second shot, Nathalie said, ‘I can’t take it anymore. It’s too hot.’

She pulled off her short hair and the wig cap.

Esther stared before shrieking with laughter. ‘I can’t believe it! You had Abuela and that idiot going this whole time!’

Nathalie shook out her waist-length hair and threw the wig on the table. ‘I’m not one to throw away nine years’ of work.’

‘No, no you’re not,’ murmured Esther, eyes half closed.

They took the third shot.

‘Feeling better?’ said Esther.

Nathalie rolled her shoulders. ‘A little.’

‘You’ll get there. Let’s see if you remember how to dance.’ Esther grabbed her hand and dragged her to the dancefloor.

After the first song, Esther handed Nathalie off to a nearby dancer.

‘Go wild!’ she shouted before taking off with a partner of her own.

The man gulped at seeing Nathalie. ‘Ms Sancoeur?’

‘Just Nathalie tonight.’

He put his hands on her hips.

Nathalie relaxed into him and into the music.

Her body remembered the moves better than her brain.

When had she last had fun for fun’s sake? 

Several songs and drinks later, Nathalie was thoroughly enjoying dancing with her latest partner—a model she vaguely remembered from a spring project—when a member of security tapped her on the shoulder.

She tilted her head as he bellowed into her ear, ‘There’s a man insisting on speaking with you.’

‘Tall and hulking or tall and in severe need of a good fuck?’ she shouted.

Even with the music, enough people heard to laugh.

She would regret the comment in the morning. Tonight, it felt—freeing. No, liberating; that was the word.

The security guard managed to stop laughing long enough to say, ‘The first.’

‘Send him on his way.’ Nathalie waved her hand and continued dancing.

Esther sidled up with her partner. ‘Nicely done!’

‘I blame you for all consequences!’

Her cousin’s cackle echoed throughout the room.

It was while Nathalie was dancing with one of the designers for a rival house that a commotion happened at the front door.

Her partner said, ‘I think your white knight just showed up.’

‘I don’t need a white knight!’

‘Might want to tell him that.’

Esther abandoned the dancefloor for the bar. ‘Rum and coke.’

From her spot, she could see Gabriel Agreste arguing with the doorman.

A bottle of something was pulled out.

The designer looked furious but took three shots and shouted something.

The doorman grinned and removed the rope.

Esther watched Gabriel Agreste enter amongst the plebeians. The pale designer had never looked more out of place.

His wardrobe was significantly improved by the stripping of layers. Even from across the room, Esther was able to appreciate the slim-cut shirt rolled up to expose his forearms.

‘No wedding ring,’ she murmured. ‘Fascinating.’

On the dance floor, Nathalie was dirty dancing with her partner.

Esther smirked. This trip was turning out to be extremely entertaining.

The bar tender handed Esther a drink. ‘Excitement?’ said the woman. 

‘Observe: The Hook.’

They watched Gabriel work his way through the crowd, looking for his assistant.

He walked right past Nathalie before looking a second time. He shook his head and looked again. ‘Nathalie?’

‘Line,’ murmured Esther.

Nathalie opened her eyes and looked into the face of her boss.

Gabriel stared open mouthed.

Nathalie blew a kiss before spinning under her partner’s arm and continuing to dirty dance.

‘Your hair,’ Gabriel gasped.

‘And Sinker.’ Esther raised her glass in salute and threw back the contents. ‘If all goes well, there’ll be a new Agreste baby come December. Merry Christmas, Adrien.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish Translations: 
> 
> Esta tuyo? : Is this yours? 
> 
> Lamentablemente. : Unfortunately. 
> 
> Estoy con Esther. : I'm with Esther. 
> 
> Esta bien, señora? : Is everything good, ma'am?
> 
> Si, gracias. El esta conmigo. : Yes, thanks, He's with me. 
> 
> Si, comprendo, pero— : Yes, I understand, but--
> 
> Tengo sueño. : I'm tired. 
> 
> Quires dancer? : Want to dance? 
> 
> Solo nosotros: It's only us./ We're alone. 
> 
> Invitado mi famillia. : You invited my family. 
> 
> No quiero. : I don't want to. 
> 
> *Not translated are the song lyrics which are 'Me Enamora' and 'Te Aviso, Te Anuncio (Tango)'.


	35. Me Enamore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any butchered Spanish throughout this fic but especially here. 
> 
> Apologies for any awkward phrasing. I just realised how out of practise I am with writing scenes involving, how do I say this? High emotions and intense physical contact.

Security appeared beside Gabriel. ‘_Esta tuyo_?’ he said to Nathalie.

‘_Lamentablemente_.’ She spun again, her hair flying around her.

Gabriel scowled at her tone.

Her cheeks were flushed, her breathing laboured.

He pressed his fists against his legs as her partner’s hands ran along her waist and hips, their bodies moving in sync.

In French, Gabriel said, ‘I’m not leaving you here.’

‘_Estoy con_ Esther.’

‘If that means your cousin is looking after you, I can see that she isn’t. Please, come home.’

Nathalie stilled. She smiled, a mischievous gleam in her eye. ‘One dance. Then we’ll go home.’

‘No.’

She leaned in, eyes half-closed as her fingers spider-walked up his chest. ‘Scared, Agreste?’

He inhaled sharply. ‘Yes.’

She slid his glasses off and tucked them into her trouser pocket. ‘Good.’

‘_Esta bien, señora?_’ said the guard.

‘_Si, gracias_. _El esta conmigo._’ She removed her dance partner’s hands from her waist.

Gabriel nearly jumped through the roof as Nathalie grabbed the front of his shirt, her right arm draped across his shoulder.

‘Hands on my hips,’ she said.

He remained stock still.

Nathalie placed his hands on her hips before planting her hands on his shoulders. ‘Follow me.’

A heavy drum beat pulsed through the speakers.

Her legs reached past him, his hips angling and guiding his through the dance moves.

His thumbs brushed her bare stomach.

Nathalie sang along to both the Spanish and English lyrics, losing herself in the music and dancing. Her hips and shoulders shook faster and harder with practiced motion.

Gabriel watched the couples around them, observing, learning.

His hand slid up to take hers and spun her out and around.

She grinned and spun in faster than he would have thought her capable of moving.

Her back slammed into his chest.

Hair stuck to their skin.

Nathalie crossed his arms across her body and slid his hands back to her hips. She looked up and, in time to the music, said in English, ‘I dare you.’

Ever since his youth, Gabriel’s greatest fault was his inability to turn down a dare, a challenge.

Any challenge.

Nathalie knew it better than anyone.

‘Damn you.’ His bent his knees and moved his body with hers.

His hands gripped harder, his head next to hers, listening to her surprisingly practiced voice.

Nathalie’s perfume and shampoo overwhelmed his senses, powered by the endorphins flooding his system.

Emilie had never loved life this much.

The song faded into a faster beat.

Gabriel opened his eyes to see Nathalie’s nose not quite brushing his.

Her fingers played with the second button on his shirt, a knuckle brushing his bare skin. ‘Still want to go home?’

‘No,’ he rasped.

‘I thought you never broke a deal.’

‘Weren’t you the one who said times are changing?’

She laughed and danced off through the crowd.

Gabriel felt like the air had been ripped from his chest.

He followed Nathalie’s path and found her by the bar.

After a rapid exchange, Nathalie accepted two glasses from the bar tender. She handed him one and tapped his glass with her own before upending it. 

She frowned and pulled her phone from her pocket. ‘_Allo_? Adrien? _Si, comprendo, pero—_’

Gabriel wrestled the phone away from her.

‘Ayyy!’

‘Oh, don’t start! Adrien? What’s wrong?’

‘Is Nathalie okay?’ said his son.

Gabriel watched Nathalie dance, her hands beating imaginary drums in time to the music. ‘She’s all right.’

‘Are you okay? You sound out of breath.’

A trio of women ran up to Nathalie and dragged her back onto the dance floor.

‘Someone convinced me to drink tequila straight,’ said Gabriel, his eyes following the fuzzy red blur that was Nathalie. ‘I don’t recommend it.’

‘Ri-ight. I’m calling to tell you that Marinette’s parents invited me to stay the night. Is that all right?’

Lights flashed, and Gabriel winced. ‘Go ahead. Tell her parents I say thank you.’

‘Sure thing. See you tomorrow.’

Gabriel hung up and tucked the phone into his pocket. His fingers tapped against the glass in his left hand.

Esther slammed into the bar. Her hair was frizzing with the humidity. ‘I didn’t realise they were letting just anyone in.’

‘I’m here for Nathalie.’

‘I can see that.’ Esther took her drink and chugged it. ‘How long since you had a drink?’

Gabriel took the hint and downed the beverage in his hand.

Esther ordered two more shots. ‘Drink or go home. You’re not ruining her fun.’

He took both shots and followed Esther back to the dance floor.

It was nearly four when Nathalie finally tired.

She fell onto the couch beside Gabriel, knocking his from his doze.

‘_Tengo sueño_.’ She rubbed her face against his shoulder.

He instinctively put an arm around her, pulling her closer. ‘You’re sweaty.’

‘Mm.’ Nathalie nestled closer, eyes closed.

‘Home?’

‘_Bueno_.’

He helped her stand up and collected his coat before stepping outside.

The snowy Parisian cityscape could not have been a bigger contrast from the after party.

Nathalie shivered as the air struck her bare skin.

Gabriel draped his wool coat over her. ‘Here.’

She sang along to the Afro-Cuban song playing inside.

Her feet slipped in the snow.

Gabriel instinctively caught her.

‘_Gracias.’ _She smiled sweetly. ‘_Quires dancer_?’

Her lips were dangerously close as she said, ‘_Solo nosotros._’

‘Where—?’ He licked his lips. ‘Where are your glasses?’

Nathalie shrugged. ‘_No se_.’ 

‘You’re so relaxed.’

‘It’s your own fault.’ She giggled. ‘_Invitado mi famillia_.’

‘Nathalie!’

She seemed to have found a second wind as she sang, ‘_Me enamore, me ena-ena-namore/ Lo vi—_’

Gabriel found the Gorilla waiting patiently. He got Nathalie into the car and tried to buckle her in.

‘_Y baile hasta que me canse…_’ Nathalie’s shoulders swayed as she sang.

‘Hold still!’ said Gabriel as he wrestled with the buckle.

‘_No quiero_.’ Her giggle turned into a cackle. She fell back, hitting her head on the back of the seat. 

The buckle clicked.

Gabriel collapsed on his side of the seat. ‘Drive.’

The Gorilla grunted and navigated the snowy streets.

Nathalie’s arms undulated. ‘_Como te fijarias en mi?...Es es pa’ mi, es pa’ mas nadie…_’

Gabriel tried to study the landscape.

His eyes kept flicking back to study his assistant as Paris shut down in the face of the late snowstorm.

The streets grew more familiar.

A hand brushed his face as she danced to a new song. ‘_…Es una dia ella y otro dia yo…Me estas dejando sin corazon…_’

The lights of the mansion glowed on the snow as the gates opened.

The car stopped by the front steps.

Gabriel helped Nathalie from the car and tried to wrap his coat around her.

She giggled before doubling over with laughter. ‘_Por ti me quede como Monalisa_!’

Gabriel gave up and scooped her into his arms. 

The coat lay in the snow on the drive.

He navigated the door, only too glad to be inside. ‘Are you coherent now?’

She blinked at him, smile long faded. Her finger brushed his jaw. ‘“_El Tango no es de tres_”.’

‘Oh, Nath.’ He touched his forehead to hers. ‘What am I going to do with you?’

‘What have you done to my granddaughter?’

Gabriel jumped.

Abuela stood in the doorway of the dining room. The light glinted on her glasses.

‘Nothing!’ Gabriel felt nineteen again, specifically the one time he had snuck out to visit an unsuitable girlfriend. ‘She was with Esther.’

‘Of course she was.’ Abuela rubbed her forehead. ‘Just like school.’

‘I’ll, uh, I’ll put her in her room.’ He took the stairs two at a time, the back of his neck on fire.

Once in her room, Gabriel lay Nathalie on the bed and tracked down a pack of makeup wipes.

Her shoes thunked on the floor.

He smiled at the domesticity of the situation.

When he returned, she lay curled up on her side.

‘Here.’ He rolled her over and wiped the makeup off as best as he could. ‘There; go to sleep.’

A hand twined up and caught his.

Nathalie tugged. ‘Stay. Just for a moment.’

The bed dipped as he sat.

She studied him. ‘Why did you come?’ 

He thought for a moment.

Why had he looked for her? He had never doubted her ability to take care of herself, and she knew better than to risk her job on a drunken adventure.

Nathalie sighed with contentment.

Gabriel looked down.

His hand was stroking her face. 

‘I’d be lost without you.’

She stared over his shoulder. ‘You know, I swore that I would never fall for you.’

His hand stilled. ‘What if I catch you?’

She sat up, arms braced behind her. ‘You can’t catch me as long you’re holding Emilie.’ Her eyebrow twitched. ‘”Tango is not for three”.’

‘The divorce was finalised months ago as dictated by the prenuptial. There won’t be any scandal from there.’

‘Perhaps, but this—’ her finger poked the approximate area of his heart, ‘—still belongs to her.’

Her hand slid back. ‘You can’t have us both, Gabriel.’

He stared at her knees.

She waited for a response before curling around her pillow and closing her eyes.

Gabriel waited for her breathing to grow even before pressing his lips to her hairline.

He left the door half-open.

As he walked the corridor, he noticed the lack of a light under Adrien’s door.

He wanted someone to speak with, someone to remind him he wasn’t alone.

Of all the times to lose Nooroo.

No matter the state of his emotions, the clarity of his thoughts, Nooroo had been a small spark to keep the mansion from feeling so incredibly big.

So dark.

He drifted from room to another, hands clasped behind him, desperate for company. His feet attempted to return to the office again and again.

He found the empty sitting room and stared out the window.

The trees sported tiny buds even as the snow continued to fall.

The carpet muffled Abuela’s footsteps. She poured out two shot glasses and set the bottle on the low table. ‘Drink. You’re too tense to think properly.’

‘I drank earlier.’

‘Obviously not enough.’

Gabriel took the glass and sniffed the contents. He recoiled. ‘What is this?’

‘Tequila.’

He took it and coughed, eyes watering. ‘From what shelf?’

‘Doesn’t have one.’ She downed the shot. ‘But the—the—_como se dice_?’ 

‘What’s the word?’

‘_La alcantarilla_.’

‘Gutter. I know that one.’

‘And how?’

‘I had a rebellious phase.’

She chuckled. ‘The gutter isn’t a good place to be choosy.’

The street lights turned the snow orange.

‘Whatever is on your mind—’

‘I can’t share it with anyone.’

Abuela smiled grimly. ‘I cannot grant you absolution, but I think I can give you some peace.’

Gabriel’s lips formed a thin line. His hand tightened around the shot glass. ‘It started with my late wife, Emilie…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nathalie is a Shakira fan. #fightme


	36. The Retirement of Hawkmoth

Marinette swung the trapdoor open and climbed onto her rooftop garden. ‘Adrien! It’s snowing!’

Adrien climbed out and surveyed the view. He slung an arm over her shoulder. ‘It’s almost as beautiful as you, princess.’

‘Smooth. Did you come up with that one on your own?’

‘Naw, bummed it off a millenniums-old god obsessed with cheese.’

‘Hm. That would explain why it’s aged so poorly.’

Adrien laughed, the sound strange in the snowy landscape. ‘That was a sad attempt at a pun, but I love your effort.’

‘Oh?’ She lifted her chin and smiled knowingly. ‘You love being pun-ished?’

He wheezed.

‘Too far?’

‘Nope! Nope, no, love it! Love it. But, shit! Give a guy some warning before you do something like that!’ He cupped her face. ‘It’s hazardous for my health.’

Marinette rolled her eyes behind her reading glasses. ‘You’re a hazard for my sanity. Constantly throwing yourself in front of threats?’

‘A cat’s sturdier than a bug.’

‘Only because you got your growth spurt first!’

‘I’m surprised you even know what that phrase means.’

‘Why—why I—you!’ Marinette stuck a finger beneath his nose. ‘You’re lucky I love you.’

He lowered his lips to hers. ‘I love you, too, Bugaboo.’

A Kwami coughed.

‘Excuse me,’ said Tikki, ‘but you do need to complete your task for the evening before the weather gets any worse.’

Plagg said, ‘And Phantom’s ready for bed.’

‘Doesn’t she sleep all day?’ said Marinette.

‘She’s a growing kitten,’ said Plagg. ‘And in need of all the beauty sleep she can get.’

‘At this rate, she’ll be as beautiful as me one day,’ said Adrien, puffing his chest out slightly.

‘You wish you were as cute as her.’

‘Meowch! Milady!’

Marinette laughed. ‘Tikki, spots on.’

A minute later, the Heroes of Paris ran leisurely across the snowy rooftops. The lights of the city reflected orange and blue below.

Once they reached Alya’s apartment complex, Ladybug lowered them from the roof by yoyo.

Chat Noir tapped on their friend’s window.

Alya looked up from her homework. She ran to the window and threw it open. ‘Where’s the Akuma?’

‘There is no Akuma,’ said Ladybug.

‘And there never will be again,’ said Chat Noir. ‘We have Hawkmoth’s Miraculous.’

‘You do? How? Where was the battle?’

Ladybug and Chat Noir exchanged a look.

‘There was no battle,’ said Ladybug. ‘It fell into our hands by chance.’

‘We took the good luck and ran with it,’ said Chat Noir.

‘Almost literally.’

‘Oh. That’s disappointing,’ said Alya. ‘Can I post this on the Ladyblog?’

Ladybug held up a USB drive. ‘We have a formal statement ready for publication.’

‘On one condition.’ Chat Noir’s cheerful face took on a stern edge.

‘Anything!’

‘You need to remove the story about Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Hawkmoth’s love interest.’

‘Oh.’ Alya scraped her foot across the floor. ‘Yeah. I—I don’t know if you know this, but Marinette’s my best friend. Or was.’ She bit her lip. ‘I hope we can still be. Everything got so out of control and led to a fight—and her defending Chloe Bourgeois!’

She rubbed her nose. ‘I took the story down two days after I posted it.’

Chat Noir squeezed Ladybug’s shoulder reassuringly. ‘Does your friend know?’

‘No, I’m not sure how to tell her. Or how to say I’m sorry.’

‘Say it just like that,’ said Ladybug gently. ‘It’ll probably take some time for her to trust you again, but if you’re the friends you thought you were then I’m sure she’ll be happy to trust you.’

Alya smiled. ‘Thanks, Ladybug, Chat Noir. It was a stupid mistake.’

‘Everybody makes mistakes,’ said Ladybug.

‘_Everybody has those days!_’ sang Chat Noir.

‘No!’ shrieked Ladybug. ‘You listen to Hannah Montana?’

‘“Nobody’s perfect!” And I didn’t just listen to the music.’ Chat Noir winked at His Lady. ‘It was one of two shows I could get my parents to watch with me as a kid.’

‘What was the other?’ said Alya. ‘Does this mean you speak fluent English?’

‘Calm down, Mademoiselle Journaliste,’ said Chat Noir. ‘The first is confidential—we literally signed a contract—and the other, well, I already have enough fans clamouring for attention.’

Ladybug rolled her eyes. ‘Seriously, if you could put the formal statement on the Ladyblog, that would be amazing.’

‘And talk to your friend in the morning,’ said Chat Noir. ‘All of your friends. As long as you can admit you made a mistake, I think they might be more forgiving than you expect.’

Alya rolled the USB across her hand. ‘Thanks, Ladybug and Chat Noir. Thanks for trusting me with this.’

‘Anytime,’ said Ladybug.

Chat Noir saluted her as the yoyo pulled them up to the roof.

As soon as their feet were on solid cement, Ladybug took a shaky breath.

‘You okay, Buginette?’

‘Yeah. I think so. It wasn’t as hard to talk with her as I expected. You?’

He started to answer with a quip and thought better of it. ‘I’ll be okay.’

‘Chat, that’s not the same the thing.’

‘I know. Want to go home and slaughter me on a game?’

‘Your family really holds the gold medal for avoiding talking about their feelings.’

‘Every family needs a hobby.’

‘Chat!’

He wriggled his ears. ‘Race you home!’

‘Chat Noir!’

‘Can’t hear you!’ he called from the next building.

Ladybug took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Chat Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez Noir!’

His head popped up from behind a chimney pot. ‘I’m listening!’

She yoyoed over and landed next to him, hands on her hips.

He grinned sheepishly. ‘I believe our future children are listening as well.’

‘Given what we learned in Anatomy last week, the lucky eggs certainly are.’ She frowned.

Chat Noir fluttered his eyelashes. ‘My Lady needed me?’

‘We’re talking about this when we get home.’

‘Not if I can spend all evening avoiding it!’ He sprinted across the roof on all fours.

Ladybug ran alongside him. ‘And what about all night?’

He slipped and skidded across the roof and into a collection of patio furniture. ‘Ow.’

They set the furniture back up quickly.

Ladybug caught her partner’s bell. ‘Do I have your attention?’

His ears drooped. ‘I don’t really want to talk about it right now.’

‘It doesn’t have to be right now, _minou_. But sometime tonight would be nice.’

‘Are you serious about me spending the night?’

She stood on her toes and brushed his lips with hers. ‘My parents would have you every night if possible.’

He brightened visibly.

‘But you are going to have to learn to talk about the hard stuff. And be honest about the fun stuff.’

‘As long as you keep kissing me, I’ll do whatever you want.’

‘Oh, Kitty…’

He bumped his head against hers. ‘I trust you, Marinette. Almost as much as I love you.’

Chat Noir stood up straight. ‘Kitty—Phantom!’

‘“At the Opera!”’ Marinette grinned.

‘Nice. No, Phantom needs to eat.’

She laughed and followed him back to the familiar balcony.

‘Phantom?’ Chat Noir destransformed and slid into Marinette’s room. ‘Where are you kitty?’

He tried making the clicking noises his father had taught him.

Plagg and Tikki zoomed about, their eyes peeled for the tiny kitten.

Phantom was nowhere to be found.

Adrien replaced a pile of pillows and sat back on his heels. ‘Where could she be?’

Marinette heard cooing noises from downstairs.

She dragged her boyfriend downstairs and found her parents feeding the kitten with a spoon.

‘Aw! Look at the proud grandparents!’ said Marinette, leaning on the bannister.

Adrien slid down the stairs and ran to check on his tiny kitten. ‘Are you okay?’

‘She’s a lot less hungry,’ said Sabine.

‘And we are not her grandparents,’ said Tom, shaking his spoon. ‘You’ll have children of your own soon enough.’

‘That’s the seven-year plan, sir,’ said Adrien, running a fingernail down Phantom’s back.

The kitten purred and continued eating from the spoon.

‘The snow’s getting bad out there,’ said Tom. ‘Are you planning on staying the night, son?’

Adrien visibly brightened. ‘I would love to!’

‘It’s just the couch,’ said Marinette, hip-bumping him.

‘It’s the best couch in all of Paris.’ Adrien pulled out his phone. ‘Let me check in first.’

The call went to voicemail twice.

‘That’s weird.’ Adrien tried a third time.

The call picked up. Latin-ish music pulsed through the phone.

‘_Allo_?’

‘_Nathalie_?’ he gasped.

‘Adrien?’ she said, her words slightly slurred.

‘Have you been drinking?’

The Dupain-Cheng family gave him concerned looks.

‘_Si, comprendo, pero—_’

The weird sound of someone fumbling for the phone. Nathalie shouting an irate ‘Ayyy!’

‘Oh, don’t start!’ said the distant sound of his father’s voice.

Adrien nearly dropped the phone when his father’s voice boomed an ‘Adrien? What’s wrong?’

‘Is Nathalie okay?’

He listened to the music pour through the phone.

After several beats, the designer said, ‘She’s all right.’

Adrien gave the phone a confused look. ‘Are you okay? You sound out of breath.’

‘Someone convinced me to drink tequila straight,’ said Gabriel. ‘I don’t recommend it.’

‘Ri-ight. I’m calling to tell you that Marinette’s parents invited me to stay the night. Is that all right?’

‘Go ahead. Tell her parents I say thank you.’

‘Sure thing. See you tomorrow.’

Adrien stared at his phone.

‘Is everything all right?’ said Sabine.

‘They’re at a party and they’ve been drinking.’

Marinette said, ‘Are you sure it was the right number?’

‘Yeah.’ He shuddered. ‘That was officially the weirdest conversation I’ve had with either of them.’

‘But you have permission to stay?’ said Tom.

‘I have permission!’ Adrien bounced on his toes. ‘Tom? Sabine? Do you have spare room for two small kittens?’

‘Anytime,’ said Tom, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.


	37. A Farewell to Obliviousness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heavier chapter (and I'm not just talking about the word count!) but a necessary chapter. Things will get cute and funny again.

Adrien stared at the wall, a pencil clenched between his teeth.

‘“If X equals 42, what is the parabola”—Dude, are you even listening?’

‘I have come to a conclusion.’

‘Awesome,’ said Nino. ‘Does it involve us finishing this homework assignment so your old man doesn’t ground you until next summer?’

‘It’s about tomorrow night. I have to make sure he’s ready to move on with Nathalie.’

‘Romantics.’ Nino rubbed his face before resting his chin on the thebook. ‘Let me know when you’re ready to return to the real world.’

‘Speaking of,’ said Adrien, ‘look who’s coming over.’

Marinette walked up, a subdued Alya in tow.

Adrien frowned at the light mascara tracks on their cheeks and the smudging around their eyes. The confidence in Marinette’s smile was the only thing keeping him from crossing his arms like Nino.

‘Hey, guys,’ said Marinette. ‘Do you mind if Alya joins us?’

‘Depends,’ said Nino coolly.

‘Don’t be an ass,’ said Adrien. ‘What’s up?’

Alya took a deep breath. ‘I’m really sorry for how I handled the whole “Hawkinette” situation. It was immature, especially since I let a story become more important than my friendships.’

‘I forgive you,’ said Adrien, holding out his hand. ‘Shake?’

She smiled and shook on it.

Nino said, ‘I forgive you, too.’

Alya hiccoughed before bursting into tears. ‘God, Nino, I’m so sorry!’

He instinctively jumped up and hugged her, burying his face in her hair.

Adrien collected his things and left the library with Marinette. ‘How do you feel?’

‘Better. It’s going to take time to trust her again, but she’s doing what’s necessary to heal relationships.’ Marinette wrapped an arm around Adrien’s waist and lay her head on his shoulder as they walked. ‘Thanks for everything, Kitty.’

He kissed the top of her head. ‘Anytime, princess. I’d move heaven and earth both if it made you smile. And the best thing that came out of this all is that we’re together now!’

‘Only when you remember to speak in French.’

‘Hey! The Shakespearitus has retreated to its proper place.’

She tickled his side. ‘That's only when you’re not too overwhelmed by a really good kiss.’

‘Mmhmm.’ He nuzzled her ear. ‘You wearing your glasses and my shirt works in a pinch.’

‘Oh, is that what does it for you?’

‘I’d love a picture. Or five.’

‘Maybe if you’re really good.’ Marinette tapped the V of his collarbone, right where the bell sat during transformation.

A text from the Gorilla interrupted their latest kissing and compliments session.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ said Adrien with a final kiss.

‘Don’t trip when you do!’

Marinette ran off as he shook his fist.

The Gorilla honked the car horn.

Adrien scrolled through his calendar as they drove through the streets of Paris. Even though he was scheduled to be home by nine, knowing how shows went, he’d probably be home closer to midnight.

Of course, now that he didn’t have to factor in time for Akumas, he might actually have a chance of being home by nine!

Factor in the likelihood of Abuela overruling any attempt to keep him out later than scheduled…

Adrien stopped at the threshold of his front door.

The mansion was full of workmen shouting over the sound of manual and powered tools. Security guards with discreet logos wandered in and out of rooms.

In the middle of it all, Nathalie supervised the team lowering the funeral portrait from its position on the stairs.

‘Nath! Your hair!’

Nathalie’s high ponytail swung as she turned. She had her phone in one hand and coffee in the other. ‘Enjoy it while you can see it. It’s too heavy for this hairstyle.’

He bounced over to her. ‘You look amazing! And so much younger.’

A security guard strolled through the foyer and up the stairs.

The workmen carried the funeral portrait up the stairs and to a waiting crate on the mezzanine.

‘What’s happening?’ said Adrien. 

Nathalie finished a text on her phone. ‘Your father asked me to supervise the removal of various pieces of artwork.’

‘Careful!’ shouted someone in the office.

Adrien stuck his head in. 

Four workmen and a security specialist were removing the golden painting from its position behind the work station.

Two crates were already sealed shut and ready for transport.

A knot twisted in Adrien’s stomach, but he watched the painting be crated for storage.

As beautiful as it was, he breathed a little easier the moment the lid was screwed shut. ‘Where’s Father?’

Nathalie sipped her coffee. ‘He’s visiting the Blois Estate.’

‘Oh?’ Adrien frowned at the mention of the family country estate. ‘The day before a show? In the snow?’

‘The Gorilla made a comment about “when in Mother Russia” when I asked about the snow.’

Adrien chuckled. ‘He would.’

‘As for your father, he decided delegating the necessary tasks was more important than micromanaging the show.’

‘Why did he go without you?’

Her eyes followed a floating clump of dust. ‘He wanted to do it himself.’

Adrien closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. ‘Did you sleep with him last night?’

‘What?’ That got her attention. ‘No! Adrien!’

‘Sorry! I thought asking was better than—’

They looked up as running feet pounded from the mezzanine.

Esther stuck her head over the railing and shrieked, ‘You didn’t sleep with him?’

Adrien gave Nathalie a panicked look. ‘You’re on your own!’

‘Don’t you dare leave me here! Adrien A—oh, shut it, Esther!’

Adrien sprinted up the stairs only to be blocked by his newest relative.

‘What do you mean you didn’t sleep with him?’ Esther shouted.

‘This is not the place to have this conversation!’

‘Too bad! We’re having it!’

‘What’s going on?’ shouted Adrien.

Wood and metal shrieked as a screw was put in incorrectly.

‘We’re not having it here!’ shouted Nathalie.

‘Then find a place that doesn’t have her damned image in it so we can have it!’ Esther’s face was red beneath her makeup.

‘Be nice about my mom!’ Adrien took a deep breath. ‘We can talk in my room.’

He jumped over the crate for the funeral portrait and held his bedroom door open.

As soon as Nathalie and Esther were inside, he slammed the door shut and leaned against it, arms crossed, jaw tense.

‘There is no way in hell I am sleeping with my boss.’

‘Why not? You were both smashed enough, I was sure—’

‘It was you!’ Nathalie jabbed a finger in Esther's direction. ‘You were the one who told him where to find us! Why?’

‘One: You both need it. Two: He’s fucking divorced!’

Adrien jumped, his anger fading before the fear and surprise. ‘Who’s divorced?’

‘How did you know about that?’ snapped Nathalie.

Esther drawled, ‘It’s amazing what you can find on public file hidden in plain sight.’

‘Who’s divorced?’ shouted Adrien.

‘Your father filed for divorce six months after your _mama _disappeared.’ Esther’s hair flicked around her chin as she looked back to Nathalie. 

Nathalie growled. ‘The divorce was in accordance with the prenuptial and pressure from his lawyers. The man is still married to her in his heart, and I won’t mess with that.’

As Adrien sat on his bed, burying his hands in his hair, Esther snapped, ‘Do you ever run out of bull shit excuses?’

‘They’re not nonsense if you have to stoop to insults rather than argue them properly,’ said Nathalie.

‘Mom and Dad are divorced?’ said Adrien in a small voice. ‘And now he’s getting rid of all her artwork?’

‘He’s removing his shrine to her,’ said Esther.

Nathalie hissed sharply and held the door open. ‘Out.’

‘This conversation isn’t over.’

‘Go whine to Abuela, then,’ said Nathalie. ‘But get out before you hurt Adrien more than you have.’

Esther pinched her mouth shut and left.

Nathalie kicked the door shut. ‘Family. Really!’

‘How long have they been divorced?’

She rested her head against the door. ‘Five months.’

‘And all this time he acted like…like nothing changed.’ Adrien wiped his nose. ‘Did they find her body? Is that why he’s at the estate?’

‘All he said is that he wants to make peace.’ Nathalie kicked her shoes off and sat on the floor, her back against the couch. ‘He made his choice but couldn’t handle being here.’

‘Does that mean he’s finally ready to move on?’

‘I think so.’ Her eyes flicked to the floor. ‘I hope so.’

‘And then you’ll sleep with him.’

Adrien’s voice was harsher than he meant.

She raised an eyebrow. ‘How are you more comfortable with me sleeping with your married father than when he’s divorced?’

‘It’s not that!’ He jumped up and paced, arms wrapped around his head. ‘It’s that no one told me about the divorce! Or why.’

‘What would it have accomplished?’ Nathalie yanked the hair tie from her ponytail. ‘He was so sure that he could return her to the family. The prenuptial—’

Adrien stopped. ‘Why would they put something like that in there?’

‘It was in case of abandonment. The Agrestes came from money and made more money, money helped by the Graham de Vaniley family fortune.’

‘So this is all about money?’

Nathalie removed her glasses before massaging her scalp. ‘It’s always about money, Adrien. How many times do I have to tell you that?’

‘Are your affections for Father and me based in money?’

‘No. But I never would have ended up in this situation if I hadn’t valued money over a personal life and my own sanity.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘To list the number of hats I’ve worn for your family would be to place them in violation of labour laws at the very least.’

‘So it is about the money.’

‘Not anymore.’

Adrien massaged his right arm. ‘But it was at one point?’

‘Yes, as an employee to my employers, I was very interested in collecting my well-earned paycheque.’

‘And then you just stayed around? Transferring your loyalty from Mom to Father when she got sick?’

Nathalie rubbed her temples. ‘There’s so much you don’t understand.’

‘Then tell me! For fuck’s sake!’ Adrien kicked skate ramp. ‘Why won’t anyone explain things to me? Why do I have to find out about my parents’ divorce from someone I barely know?’

‘We did it to protect you!’

‘From what? Knowing how fucked up my family is? All it means is that I hate you!’

Adrien clapped his hands over his mouth, eyes wide. His face turned from red to white.

The familiar mask of indifference settled over Nathalie’s features. ‘Perhaps—’

He threw himself at her, his shoulder banging into the couch. ‘Don’t go! Please! I’m sorry! It was stupid—I don’t even know why I said that.’

They sat with their backs to the couch, Adrien clinging and sobbing into her shoulder.

Nathalie held tightly, trying to calm the furious beating of her own heart.

The pulse in Adrien’s wrist beat furiously against her neck.

‘I won’t leave you,’ she said. ‘I’m here.’

‘I di-didn’t me-mean-mean it. I don’t hate you. Really!’

‘I know.’ She shifted her position against the couch. ‘But I was here and you knew it was safe to emote.’

He nodded, his hold on her tightening. ‘I’m sorry.’

In the rest of the house, they could hear the workmen packing up.

The truck engine rumbled in the courtyard and faded down the street.

The streetlights turned on outside.

Adrien took a ragged breath. ‘Why is Father doing this? Why now?’

‘He takes a long time to make up his mind. Once he makes a decision, he throws everything he has into it.’ Nathalie stroked his hair. ‘And then there’s no changing his mind.’

Adrien blew his nose and dropped the tissue into the gathering pile. ‘How are you okay with that?’

‘When you know how someone operates, you learn how to work—or not work—with them. Like changing our hair to get a reaction.’

His shaky laugh turned into a yawn. ‘Do you know if I have time for a nap before tonight’s rehearsal?’

Nathalie checked her phone for the time. ‘No rehearsal. We’re late already, and unless you’ve grown since two days ago, everything fits perfectly.’ She smiled. ‘Perks of living with the head designer.’

Adrien grinned sleepily. ‘Thanks.’

‘Are you hungry at all?’

‘Not now. Will you…Never mind.’

‘What is it?’

‘Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?’

She nodded, smiling gently.

Adrien yawned through his routine and climbed into bed at ten past seven.

Nathalie sat on the side of the bed.

He held her hand and squeezed it. ‘Thanks, sis.’

‘Maybe we should come up with another term.’

‘Yeah, maybe.’ Adrien shifted his position. ‘Because you’re not like regular step-moms. You’re a cool mom.’

Nathalie rolled her eyes. ‘I should never have shown you _Mean Girls_.’

‘Are you kidding? Do you know how many internet jokes I can make from a single viewing?’

‘Go to sleep.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’ He snuggled deeper into the bed.

Nathalie stayed long after he fell asleep, thinking, preparing.

The heating system rumbled, marking the passing of time. The air current knocked something down in the loft.

It was half past eight when the outside gates opened and the lights of a car lit up the windows.

‘I have to go,’ whispered Nathalie.

She slid her hand free and kissed Adrien’s forehead.

He didn’t stir, dead to the world for all purposes.

Nathalie’s shoes clicked as she walked down the marble stairs. She stood with her hands folded in front of her. ‘

Gabriel walked in, his shoulders bowed but his step light.

‘Welcome back, sir.’

‘She’s safely interred in the mausoleum.’ He removed his coat and loosened his cravat. ‘I trust you will see to Arthur’s bonus?’

Nathalie took his coat out of habit. She gave a curt not to the question. ‘Adrien is sleeping upstairs.’

‘Already?’

He sounded disappointed.

Nathalie said, ‘I arranged the schedule for you to have breakfast together.’

‘Thank you.’ Gabriel put his hands in his pockets and looked at the blank spaces on the walls. ‘How did he take the news?’

‘A mixture of emotions: Excited that you are moving forward, sad that it is finally time to say goodbye.’ She hesitated, remembering how the boy cried himself to sleep. ‘He’s more confused than anything.’

Gabriel’s hand recoiled at the wet patch on her shoulder. ‘What happened?’

She chewed the inside of her cheek. ‘Esther told him about the divorce and his emotions hit their limit.’

‘Bitch.’

‘I cancelled our appointments and stayed until he was better.’

‘Based on the state of your blazer that was only when he fell asleep.’

She nodded wearily. ‘It’s been a long, emotional day for all of us.’

‘And how are you?’

Nathalie tried to blink back tears of her own and failed. She planted her face into his chest. ‘I can’t do this anymore.’

He held her, his hand smoothing her hair as she cried. ‘You don’t have to,’ he murmured. ‘I’m here now. I’m here for you.’ 


	38. The Tree and Its Apple

The clock read half past three in the morning and Adrien Agreste was _starving_!

It had started with the dream about eating the entire kitchen. Then the growling of his stomach.

Plagg pounced on him.

Phantom observed her mentor’s tactics and pounced in the general direction of Adrien’s stomach.

‘Fuck!’

‘You missed dinner and now we’re missing our sleep,’ said Plagg.

Phantom meowed in agreement.

‘Do all of us a favour and go eat.’

‘Sure, whatever.’ Adrien shoved his feet into slippers and stumbled downstairs. Despite his excellent sleep at Marinette’s house, the emotional strain of the evening left him wanting to hibernate.

Plagg followed him downstairs and into the kitchen. ‘The chef has an excellent Brie—’

Adrien opened the fridge door. ‘Knock yourself out.’

The Kwami rubbed his paws together and dove into the fridge, already making happy eating sounds. ‘Your chef left a plate for you!’

‘Hooray.’ Adrien threw the food into the microwave and forced himself to eat. ‘How can you eat so soon after waking up?’

Plagg poked his head out of the fridge, cheese crumbs littering his face. ‘How can you not?’

‘Ugh.’ Adrien shoved the last bit of chicken in his mouth and set the plate in the sink. ‘I can’t wait for Fashion Week to be over.’

‘I don’t understand the appeal of spending so much time and effort on clothing.’ Plagg buzzed alongside his Chosen.

‘No one does when it’s four in the—’ Adrien stopped at the foot of the stairs and squinted.

A light in his father’s office?

He shuffled across the foyer and pushed the door open.

Gabriel sat on the floor, legs crossed, chin propped on his fist. His hair stood straight up as he stared at two dress mannequins with partially finished dresses.

‘Father?’ said Adrien.

‘Which one?’

‘Uh?’

‘Which one for her?’

‘For whom?’

Gabriel glanced at his son. He climbed to his feet, his joints protesting loudly. ‘What are you doing up? Is it breakfast already?’

‘It’s four.’ Adrien toddled inside and closed the door. ‘What are you doing up? All your designs are finished.’

‘It’s for Nathalie for tomorrow—for tonight’s show.’

‘She can’t wear two dresses.’

‘Obviously, but I couldn’t decide and now I’m running out of time and can’t decide on which to finish first.’

‘Are you asking me to pick one?’

‘Yes!’ Gabriel ground the heels of his hands into his eyes. ‘I understand my parents’ frustration now.’

Adrien peered at his father.

‘The obtuseness is from my side. You have my eternal apologies.’

The studied the dresses.

‘As far as I can tell,’ said Adrien, ‘the choice is between red and slinky or green and slinky.’

‘It’s blue.’

‘It looks green.’

‘Have you been tested for blue-green colour-blindness?’

Adrien shrugged. ‘It’s still slinky, and she’s going to hate it.’

‘Thank you for selling my work short.’

‘Any time. Either way, she’s going to need a full roll of body tape to stay in.’

Gabriel ground his teeth as his son stared at the options.

‘You’re going to hate me for this: Make it velvet and make it purple.’

‘Now you tell me,’ said Gabriel, shoulders slumping.

‘Should’ve asked earlier. Maybe don’t make it something that she’s going to need a team of three people to help tape her into it.’

‘But she’ll look amazing!’

Adrien squeezed his eyes shut. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying—Then finish the dresses but save them for the bedroom!’

At his father’s look of surprise, Adrien said, ‘I’m starting to wonder if I should do a paternity test for myself.’

‘You are most definitely mine. Your mother made sure I knew how frustrated she was to be pregnant after the first attempt.’

Adrien scooted towards the door. ‘And on that note…’

‘What else?’

‘Huh?’

‘What else would she like?’

‘Father, you know how to dress people.’

Gabriel ran a hand through his hair, making it stand even higher. ‘The first rush of affection makes it difficult to see clearly.’

That woke Adrien up. ‘Affections? As in you’re finally admitting you’re in love with her?’

‘No need to sound so surprised.’

Adrien found a sketchpad and forced it into his father’s hands.

They sat on the couch as Gabriel drew a mannequin.

‘She’s super insecure about her upper arms and her butt,’ said Adrien. ‘Those dresses would have been more torture than pleasure.’

‘I didn’t know that.’

‘The things you learn in the hairdresser’s chair. She says they give away how much she sits in the chair, especially, and I quote, “around the younger, thinner models”; end quote.’

‘She can disguise or one the other.’

‘Arms? I remember Mom’s dresses were mostly sleeveless.’

Gabriel quick-sketched long sleeves and made the dress tight around the hips before flaring at the knee.

Adrien watched the bodice take shape. ‘That’s kind of a deep neckline.’

‘She’ll be fine.’ Gabriel chuckled.

‘What?’

‘You’ll get it when you’re older.’

Adrien’s eyes widened at the slit. ‘Ummm…’

‘Again, she’ll be fine.’ Gabriel adjusted a seam on the long skirt. ‘Keeping her from hiding within her clothes is just as important as knowing her insecurities.’

They sat in silence on the couch, watching the dress take form.

Gabriel formed and erased lines. His smile softened as he sketched Nathalie’s face on the mannequin.

Adrien lay his head on his father’s shoulder.

The pencil tapped against the paper before drawing in a modest train.

‘It’s beautiful.’

Gabriel flipped to a new page and drew the dress from the back.

A V to mid-back appeared. The designer frowned, shook his head, and erased it. He flipped back to the front sketch and nodded.

Lace cut-outs at the waist instantly exaggerated the hourglass figure. The front-V deepened nearly to the navel.

‘She’s going to look amazing,’ said Adrien.

‘As long as we have the supplies.’ Gabriel drew in a pair of black pumps.

‘We have purple velvet.’ Adrien yawned. ‘Or at least we did in May.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Homeschool maths: Shadowing the internal audit for last fiscal year audit.’

‘How was that?’

‘Surprisingly interesting. Stuff like that is always more interesting with practical appli—appli—’ Adrien yawned until his jaw popped and promptly sneezed. ‘Applications.’ He rubbed his nose.

‘You’re going to be too tired for school at this rate.’ Gabriel put an arm around his son and continued shading the sketch.

Adrien snuggled closer, his eyes following the pencil. ‘Nathalie already excused me from school for the day. Didn’t want me too tired for the show.’

‘Sound judgement.’ Gabriel scratched his head. ‘Are you sure about purple?’

‘Green and white were Mom’s colours at formal events.’

‘It’s blue.’

‘Either way, it’s close enough that people might talk.’

‘People are going to talk either way.’

‘With that sort of bodice, definitely.’

Gabriel flipped between the two sketches. ‘She’d be happiest in black.’

‘She’s not wearing black.’

‘Glad to know there’s something we can agree on.’

Adrien laughed. ‘Putting her in red, especially red satin, feels too much like a stereotype.’

Gabriel thought for a minute and nodded. ‘Yes, I can see that.’

They studied the sketches.

‘I think…’ Gabriel went to his workstation and pulled up the current inventory.

Adrien followed him, his feet slapping against the floor.

‘How about a compromise? We have ten yards of merlot silk velvet in stock. That will move much more easily than regular velvet.’

‘Isn’t that the one you swore you would never work with again?’

Gabriel filled out instructions for the morning courier. ‘As Nathalie said, times are changing.’

He looked up and smiled at his son.

Adrien blurted, ‘I love you, Dad.’

The designer’s mouth dropped open slightly.

‘Sorry,’ Adrien wrapped an arm around his stomach and stared at the floor. ‘I know it makes you uncomfortable.’

Gabriel walked around the work station and hugged Adrien.

The teen sighed happily and relaxed into the hug.

Adrien let go first, knowing he would probably start crying again if he held on for too long. ‘I should go back to bed. See you at breakfast.’

He headed towards the door.

‘Adrien.’

‘Yes?’

Gabriel took a deep breath. ‘Thank you for helping. Seeing how much you care for her, seeing your love for Marinette…I couldn’t ask for a better son. Even if you choose to walk away from this company someday, I will be proud of you.’

‘Only because you know Marinette will be around to run it when you die.’

‘I do plan on retiring eventually.’

Adrien snorted. ‘Please, you’ll be working from your casket through the funeral service. You’ll only stop when the six feet of earth cuts off the Wi-Fi.’

‘We have a family mausoleum.’

‘We are way too fucking rich.’

‘Language,’ said his father automatically even as he smiled.

Adrien grinned and sprinted upstairs.

He jumped into his bed, startling Phantom.

‘Well, well,’ said Plagg. ‘That was _quite _the detour!’

‘Shut up.’ Adrien set Phantom on his chest and closed his eyes, a smile on his lips.

Whatever magic spell his father was under, he hoped it never wore off.


	39. The Subtlety of a Sledgehammer

G.A.: **I need you to work at the office today.**

N.S.: **Why?**

G.A.: **It’s a surprise.**

N.S.: **You know how I feel about surprises. **

G.A.: **Please? **

N.S.: **As long as you don’t skip out on breakfast with Adrien. **

G.A.: **Deal.**

The door to the main office swept open, admitting a scowling Nathalie.

Reynard jumped up, buttoning his suit jacket. ‘Ms Sancoeur! Good morning!’

Nathalie threw her bag on her desk and logged into her computer. ‘Have you adjusted the schedule for the meeting with PR?’

‘Yes, ma’am. I was just about to send it to you. Do you know where all these meetings come from? They weren’t there an hour ago.’

‘Take a wild guess.’

The P.A. ran off in hunt of the strongest coffee within a one block radius. It was going to be one of those days.

Adrien knocked on the door of the home office. ‘Father? Can I come in?’

‘Not now!’

‘Marinette has a question about her dress.’

Gabriel opened the door. ‘Tell her to call me.’

‘Can I see it?’

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘Do you remember what happened last time?’

‘Oh, come on! I was six! I didn’t understand the concept of a secret yet!’

‘Go do homework or play a video game or whatever it is teens do while resting before they have to go to their show.’ Gabriel closed the door.

Adrien pouted before texting: **Sorry, no clue. The gates are closed even to me**.

Marinette texted back almost immediately: **What are you even good for?**

He stuck his tongue out at the phone. **Snuggles and purrs. Eye-candy. Co-signing on the loan for your first boutique.**

**Fair. I suppose I’ll keep you around. **

Adrien scooped up Phantom and climbed up to his bedroom. Rock climbing would be good for burning off energy.

Through the window, he could just hear a delivery truck.

He looked out and watched someone wrestle a muslin-covered monstrosity from the back of the truck and into the house.

Whatever it was, it was light enough for one person to carry it but awkward enough to need two people to manage it.

‘That looks like fun,’ said Plagg. ‘Springy and bouncy. Any idea what it might be?’

‘No clue.’ Adrien set Phantom on her cat tree and started his own climb.

G.A.: **Do you have back, hip, or shoulder tattoos? **

N.S.: **Why?**

G.A.: **Just answer the question. **

N.S.: **Which one works in my favour? **

G.A.: **Just a****nswer the damned question! **

‘…but if you can get Nathriel down the corridor,’ said Alix.

Marinette picked up her buzzing phone. ‘Speak of the devil. Hello?’

From his end of the line, Gabriel said, ‘I need your help.’

‘Oh? Oh! What is it?’

‘I designed a special dress for Ms Sancoeur for tonight. Adrien and I will not be at the house when the two of you are preparing for the evening.’

‘Really?’ said Marinette, drawing out the vowels. ‘That sounds quite convenient for you.’

Alix snickered.

‘Marinette, I need your help in making sure she wears a specially designed dress and follows the instructions given to the hair and makeup team who will help you tonight.’

‘Why?’

‘Why what?’

‘Why should I help you? What do I get out of it? What’s so terrible about this dress that you need someone outside the family and who isn’t an employee to bully her into dressing a certain way?’

‘Because it’s outside of her comfort zone. And,’ he coughed. ‘I, uh…’ He mumbled something.

‘Sorry? I didn’t catch that.’

Alix grinned. ‘You’re having too much fun with this.’

Marinette tilted her phone up. ‘Tell me he doesn’t deserve it—Sorry, Mr Agreste. One more time?’

He shouted, ‘I want her to look beautiful!’

‘Aw!’ chorused the girls.

‘That’s so sweet!’ said Marinette.

‘He has a crush!’ said Alix.

Gabriel said, ‘Do you have someone listening in on the conversation?’

‘Don’t worry,’ said Marinette. ‘It’s a trusted compatriot.’

He was silent for several seconds, long enough for the girls to cross the street to the bakery.

‘Mr Agreste, are you still there?’ said Marinette.

‘Make sure she follows directions and Adrien will be allowed unlimited outings over the summer.’

‘Can I get that in writing?’

She grinned at his exasperated grumbling. ‘Well?’

‘Yes, I’ll have a contract drawn up and signed by the time you arrive at the house.’

‘Thank you!’

‘Pleasure doing business,’ he muttered.

Nathalie climbed into the car and slumped in her seat. ‘Is it too late to resign?’

The Gorilla chuckled and merged with traffic. He handed over a manila folder.

‘Thanks.’ She pulled out a printed list and raised an eyebrow. ‘Curious.’

They went directly to the bakery and picked up Marinette. Tension and nervousness radiated off the girl, and she sat on her hands to keep from chewing her nails.

They were pulling through the gates of the mansion when Nathalie’s phone rang. ‘Sancoeur.’

‘Are you home yet?’ said Gabriel. 

‘Just arrived.’ She stepped out into the cold, the manila envelope in hand. ‘For the record, today’s busy work was appreciated by no one.’

‘I know. But it kept you out of my hair.' 

N2 and her team of three swarmed Marinette the moment they stepped through the front door.

Nathalie took a moment to set her bag down. ‘Thank you sending Esther and my grandmother to corporate for their hair and makeup.’

‘You’re welcome,’ he said softly.

From the temporary dressing room, Marinette laughed.

‘The dresses are in the office,’ said Gabriel. ‘I’ve given Natalie express instructions.’

‘Understood, sir,’ said Nathalie-with-an-H.

Gabriel hemmed. ‘Before you see them, I wanted to say…’

She waited. ‘Yes?’

‘Thank you for everything. I wouldn’t trade any of it.’

He hung up immediately.

Nathalie looked at her dark phone.

‘Nath!’ called N2. ‘Get in here before we send you with bad nails and even worse makeup.’

‘You wouldn’t dare,’ said Nathalie, entering the dressing room.

Marinette sat in a chair, her clothes switched out for a silky robe. She held still as the team wove in extensions and painted her nails. 

N2 handed Nathalie a robe. ‘Ready to make him weep?’

‘Tears of pain and regret? More than ever,’ said Nathalie.

‘Good, because he said that you’re not allowed to wear your glasses.’

‘Bastard.’

‘Yeah, but he’s the bastard signing off on a hefty bonus for the whole team if you cooperate.’

Ten minutes and the application of a pair of contacts later, N2 was priming Nathalie’s face and collarbone.

Marinette sat still with her eyes closed as the team painted her face and nails. 

‘He’s really pulling out all the stops tonight,’ said N2, applying foundation and contour. ‘Almost as if he’s making a public statement.’

‘If you’re fishing, it’s out of season.’

‘Hmm, are we in denial?’

Nathalie opened her eyes and gave her friend A Look.

‘Stink eyes like that lead to mascara streaks.’

Marinette said, ‘Can I look yet?’

‘Almost!’

Nathalie smiled. It had been a long time since anyone had been this excited for a show.

Her eyes flew open.

N2 swore. ‘You almost destroyed my work!’

‘Deal with it.’ Nathalie pulled up Gabriel's number.

‘Mr Agreste’s phone?’ said a young voice after the first ring. ‘This is Finley?’

‘This is Nathalie Sancoeur,’ said Nathalie, careful to move her face as little as possible. ‘Where is Mr Agreste?’

‘Um, currently under twelve yards of tulle? Mr Agreste? It’s Ms Sancoeur.’

Muffled swearing filtered through the line.

‘I’m sorry, Ms Sancoeur. He says it can wait until after the show.’

N2 whipped the phone away and hung up. ‘You’re going to smudge your nails.’

Nathalie raised an eyebrow but closed her eyes as false lashes were applied.

And then another pair. ‘What exactly is going on?’

‘Hold still. I need to put lipstick on.’

Marinette squealed. ‘I can’t believe that’s me!’

Nathalie waited for the finishing spray to settle before looking over.

Marinette turned before the mirror, studying the curls flowing down her back and the thin milkmaid braids. ‘This is—Thank you so much! Nathalie! Look!’

‘You look lovely. Adrien isn’t going to know how to handle himself once he sees you.’

The teen laughed. ‘Do you think he’ll go to Shakespeare again?’

‘If he does, take it for the compliment that it is.’ Nathalie's head jerked as N2 started brushing her hair out. 

‘Thank you so much! All of you!’ Marinette giggled. ‘I feel like a princess.’

‘You’re very welcome, but sit down,’ said one of the stylists. ‘We’re almost done.’

N2 pulled Nathalie’s hair into a French twist, fluffing the curl to resemble a flower. ‘I’m glad you decided not to chop it off.’

Nathalie watched her curl the strands framing her face. ‘That makes several of us.’

The minute Marinette’s hair and makeup were pronounced finished, she whipped her phone out. ‘Pictures, please?’

‘Only if you don’t release them until tomorrow morning,’ said Nathalie.

Marinette ran over to Nathalie and held her phone out. ‘Selfie?’

‘Sure.’

They smiled for the camera, Marinette’s chin on Nathalie’s shoulder.

Marinette spun around and took pictures with her hair and makeup team.

Nathalie emerged from a cloud of hairspray and checked her phone.

No new messages. Not even an email.

‘Ready for the dresses?’ said N2.

‘Yes!’ squealed Marinette. ‘I can’t believe I get to wear a _Gabriel _original twice in less than a week!’

Nathalie smiled and watched the girl who had stolen the hearts of the Agreste family skip bare-footed to the office.

The office doors swung open.

Everyone’s mouths collectively dropped at the pink monstrosity sitting beneath a beam of delicate lighting.

‘My God,’ whispered someone.

Marinette tiptoed up to the rose-coloured dress. Embroidered roses trailed across the bodice and down the full skirt.

She circled around, gingerly reaching out to touch the layers of organza.

‘If this isn’t a seal of approval,’ said N2, shaking her head.

Marinette stepped back from the dress and looked at the assembled party. ‘How the actual fuck am I supposed to move in that thing?’

‘Carefully,’ said Nathalie.

‘So helpful.’

They removed the dress from its mannequin to reveal a custom-made crinoline beneath.

Marinette squared her shoulders. ‘Here goes nothing.’ She stepped into the crinoline and put up her arms.

The dresser tightened the crinoline before lowering the protective petticoat.

It took three women to get the rose-coloured dress over her head.

As soon as the back was laced up, Marinette swayed, making the dress swish about her hips. ‘This feels so weird and so cool!’

She spun around the room, grinning and giggling. ‘I feel like a princess!’

‘Mr Agreste is going to be sorry he missed this,’ said N2, smiling softly.

‘That’s okay,’ said Nathalie, snapping several pictures on her phone. ‘Some things are meant to be seen in the moment.

Marinette stopped and ran her hands over the embroidery trailing from her bodice to off-the-shoulder straps. ‘He must have spent hours on this.’ She cackled.

‘What?’ said Nathalie.

‘I knew Mr Agreste would make something absolutely fabulous for me and told Adrien yesterday to be careful not to trip when he saw me. I never imagined it would be something this crazy!’

N2 screeched with laughter. ‘That poor boy!’ 

Marinette stepped into strappy silver heels and posed. ‘Are you sure we can’t send him a picture to warn him?’

‘Absolutely not,’ said Nathalie, turning as she noticed another mannequin. ‘That bastard!’

‘What?’

‘He made the dress backless!’

N2 grinned. ‘Lord bless that man for he does not know the meaning of subtle!’

‘That explains where Adrien got it,’ said Marinette dryly.

Nathalie circled around the dress, narrowing her eyes at the front, and crossed her arms. ‘I refuse to wear that.’

‘You’re wearing it,’ said Marinette.

‘Big, big bonus!’ wailed the hair and makeup crew.

N2 whispered something in Nathalie’s ear.

She flushed beneath her makeup and swatted her friend’s arm. ‘Not happening.’

‘Nathalie, please?’ said Marinette.

Nathalie raised an eyebrow. ‘What did he promise you? An internship? An apprenticeship?’

‘Um, Adrien’s freedom.’

‘Damn it!’ Nathalie scowled at the dress, nails drumming on her bicep. ‘Damn him.’

‘Look at it this way,’ said Marinette. ‘The sooner you put the dress on, the sooner you can yell at him after making a grade-A entrance where he realises exactly how far he’s fucked up.’

Nathalie growled. ‘Fine. But go easy on the tape. I want to be able to get out of it at some point tonight.’

The hair and makeup team exchanged winks and wriggling eyebrows before getting to work.


	40. Caffeine by Any Other Form Would Work Just as Well

Adrien dropped into the chair with a groan.

‘What are you complaining about?’ said the stylist.

‘Life, the universe, and everything.’

‘Gotcha.’

‘I gave my cat a flea bath right before coming here.’

‘Ah.’ The stylist pulled out the necessary tools for the evening. ‘See, that makes more sense.’

Adrien said, ‘I don’t think I’ve met you.’

‘I’m Nath.’

Blond eyebrows rose. ‘Short for Nathaniel?’

‘Nathan.’

‘Right. I’m going to call you N3, if that’s okay?’

The stylist laughed. ‘Got enough Nath’s running around already?’

‘Too many.’ Adrien sat up straight as makeup was applied.

Finley poked her head in, a small plastic bag in hand. ‘Adrien? Are these what you asked for?’

‘Yes!’ He held his hands out and took the bag of chocolate covered coffee beans. ‘Thank you!’

Adrien immediately ripped the bag open and poured the contents into his mouth.

‘What are you doing!’ cried Finley.

‘Kid, are you trying to kill yourself?’ said N3.

Adrien held up a finger as he chewed, swallowed, and said, ‘Resurrection coffee.’

‘What is that?’ said Finley.

‘Don’t ask,’ said N3, running product through Adrien’s hair. ‘The rumours of the horror have made it as far as other shows and companies.’

Adrien finished chewing the coffee beans, swallowed, and immediately coughed until his eyes watered.

Finley pulled at her hair. ‘Your father’s going to kill me! He’ll send his bodyguard after me—’

‘Arthur won’t hurt you,’ said Adrien, coughing out the last bit of irritation. ‘He’s seen me do worse stuff.’

‘It’s not the Gorilla he’ll send. It’s Nathalie!’

‘Oh, yeah. I forget she’s technically Father’s bodyguard.’ Adrien wiped his eyes and settled back into the chair.

N3 snorted. ‘So it’s true that she does five jobs for the price of three?’

‘Not for much longer.’ Adrien danced in his chair.

‘Oh? Spill.’

He mimed zipping his lips shut.

‘Spill or you’re stuck with peacock hair for the rest of your life,’ said N3.

Finley gasped. ‘You wouldn’t dare!’

‘Watch me.’ N3 picked up a pair of clippers. ‘Rumour has it that Ms Sancoeur may not have much of a sense of humour, but she’s got enough.’

Adrien tented his fingers and tilted his head, channelling as much Plagg energy as he could. ‘Yes, but Marinette doesn’t.’

‘Who’s Marinette?’

‘His girlfriend.’ Finley grabbed a spare hair-tie and pulled her thin hair into a hasty braid. ‘Mr Agreste wants to see you in three minutes, Adrien.’

He gave her a thumbs up and held still for N3.

‘Three minutes?’ muttered the makeup artist. ‘Will you even be able to brush your teeth in that amount of time?’

Adrien’s tongue worked at a piece of coffee bean stuck between two teeth.

‘Do you want lips or smudges?’

‘Do I get to choose?’

‘Kid! Work with me!’

Adrien relaxed his mouth and mapped out how best to excavate the nuisance at a convenient date.

N3 worked at a furious pace before stepping back. ‘Okay, brush those pearly whites and run off to see what your dad needs you for.’

‘Thanks!’ Adrien jumped off the chair and sprinted off to floss and brush.

Four minutes and eighteen seconds later, Adrien skidded to a stop in the Egyptian exhibit. ‘You wanted to see me?’

‘Thank you for joining me.’ Gabriel paused his pacing long enough to run a critical eye over his son. He sniffed. ‘Why do you smell like coffee?’

‘Desperation.’

A hint of a smile appeared. ‘Why should I expect anything less from someone raised by Nathalie?’

Adrien’s head jerked back in shock. ‘Was that a joke?’

‘It was an attempt.’ Gabriel took a deep breath. ‘On a more serious note, you know of the business trip to New York next month, correct?’

‘Yeah?’

‘I’m going to ask Nathalie to marry me.’

Adrien stood up straight and bounced on his toes. His smile lit up the room. ‘You are?’

‘Given how this will affect your life, I wanted to ask you—’

‘Hell to the fucking yes!’

Gabriel eyebrows knit together. ‘And that means…?’

‘It means that I am all for you marrying Nathalie!’

‘Oh. That was easy.’ Gabriel paced the exhibition gallery.

Adrien fell into step beside him. ‘If you’re going to marry Nathalie, will she still be your assistant?’

‘No. The position of C.F.O. opened up this week. I’ve recommended her for the shortlist.’

Noticing Adrien’s questioning look, Gabriel hastily added, ‘It was a complete coincidence. I had nothing to do with it.’

‘She’s going to be so happy in Finance.’ Adrien danced around the corridor. ‘In fact, America has a lot of nice tropical islands around it. Maybe you should go there, spend a week without technology.’

‘Nathalie would die.’

‘So would you.’ 

‘Hm. And is there anything you would like me to bring back as a souvenir?’

Adrien pressed his hands together and blinked innocently. ‘A baby brother or sister?’

His efforts dissolved into laughter at his father’s face.

Gabriel came to a dead stop, struggling to breathe. Finally, he said, ‘You’re serious?’

‘I need ring bearer or flower girl for Marinette’s and my wedding. If you have a baby in the next year, then they’ll be the perfect age when we get married right after graduating university.’

Gabriel swayed. ‘Did Nathalie submit an Excel sheet?’

‘Nope, did the math and planning all by myself! And yes, I showed it Marinette. She thinks I might be right to book Notre Dame five years in advance.’

‘Notre Dame?’

‘_I _wanted Sacre Coeur, but it’s not available for wedding ceremonies.’

Gabriel rubbed his chin. ‘You do realise you’re going to be sixteen, seventeen years older than your sibling?’

‘That’s why there’s no time like the present!’

‘And you know what’s involved in procuring a child in the traditional manner?’

Adrien’s smile became even more fixed even as one eye twitched. ‘Yup! And that’s why I’m going to Nino’s the first week after you get back. I also won’t be looking you or Nathalie in the eye for the month after that.’

‘If you and Marinette—’

‘Sorry! Gottago!’ Adrien sprinted away and crashed into Finley.

He reached out to steady her. ‘Shit! Sorry!’

‘It’s-It’s fine,’ she said. ‘Mr Agreste, I just heard from the driver that Ms Sancoeur and Marinette have arrived.’

Adrien somehow found a way to shine even brighter at the news. ‘My princess!’

Gabriel caught his son’s collar. ‘At the risk of ruining your time on the catwalk, you’re staying backstage.’

‘Father!’

The lines deepened around Gabriel’s eyes and mouth. He pressed a finger to his earpiece. ‘This is Gabriel. Two minutes.’ To Adrien, he said, ‘You’re going to wait until after the show to see her.’

‘Fine. But if I trip, I owe Marinette big time.’

‘You’re going to owe her for the rest of your life. Get used to it.’

Gabriel marched Adrien to the dressing room, his eyes skimming a message on his phone.

‘Is there a story there?’ said Adrien.

‘There’s always a story to everything. Now stay here until you’re called.’ Gabriel stepped out and closed the door.

Plagg poked his head out from beneath Adrien’s jacket. ‘Christmas in Spain seems to be a big Probably right. How much Camembert do you think we’ll be able to get across the border?’

‘Depends on if we’re flying or driving.’ Adrien tucked a flyaway back into the rest of his hair.

‘Knowing your Father’s love of efficiency, it’ll be flying.’

‘Not necessarily. We own some properties along the way which haven’t been visited in years. And if Father’s serious about asking Nathalie to marry him—’

Plagg grinned mischievously. ‘—and collecting some kittens along the way? Kittens which you all but begged for!’

Adrien’s hand fell into his lap as he scowled at the Kwami. ‘You’re dead to me.’

‘You’re the one who started the joke!’

‘I am regretting it.’ He huffed, causing the stray hair to wave. ‘Just make sure you’re well hidden during quick changes.’

‘Please, like I want to see a bunch of panicking half-dressed humans. I’ve seen enough of that with my previous Wielders.’

Adrien grimaced. ‘Why you gotta be like this?’

‘Nathalie may be your big sis, but someone has to be your big brother.’

‘You’re a brat, nothing else.’

‘You mispronounced “cat”.’ 

‘Adrien!’ Someone knocked on the door. ‘We’re on in five!’

‘Coming!’ Adrien jumped, the caffeine combining with the endorphins from his father’s announcement. ‘Let’s do this. Can’t wait to see my Princess. Can’t wait to see my Princess…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick show of hands: Who would be interested in my turning this into a sequel/series?


	41. Worth It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathalie teaches Marinette how to swim with the sharks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I have memes for this chapter and no way to post them as per the necessary link as I don't want to link any personal social media (and I refuse to sign up for Tumblr again). Any suggestions?

‘Are you sure we’re not overdressed?’ said Marinette.

Nathalie’s fingers drummed on her exposed knee. ‘It’s a _Gabriel _show. As the closing show to the season, it tends to smack more of a gala than your garden variety show.’

‘Okay.’ Marinette focussed on her breathing. ‘I can do this. I can do this. No tripping.’

‘You can and you will. We’re French, and everyone knows French women have an inherent charm found nowhere else.’

‘Even if we’re only born here?’

‘Head up, shoulders back. You’re Adrien’s princess.’ Nathalie glanced out the window. ‘Make sure they remember that.’ 

The car slowed and pulled to a stop.

‘They only see the nerves which you cannot contain.’ Nathalie waited for the valet to open the door. ‘Walk from the waist, not the shoulders.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Watch.’ Nathalie stepped out and glided across the carpet.

Marinette’s eyes widened at the grace which seemed to come out of nowhere. Just from the five steps taken, she could see how Nathalie walked from the hips.

Nathalie raised a hand in expectation to the car. The diamonds on her wrist glittered.

The cool, dangerous smile on her lips made Marinette’s jaw drop to somewhere around her waist.

Gabriel—and everyone else who may have stepped on Nathalie’s toes—were screwed.

And so was Adrien the minute Marinette learned to master that look.

God forbid Ladybug ever use it.

Hm, now _there _was a thought…Poor Chat Noir.

Marinette took a last deep breath, forced her jaw back to where it belonged, and stepped onto the red carpet.

Lightbulbs exploded around her.

_Head up, shoulders back_. _Walk from the waist…_

Marinette’s sternum popped as she obeyed the instructions of her mother-in-law to be.

People shouted at her as flashes popped.

Five steps.

Five steps to Nathalie and protection.

She could do this.

Marinette rested her hands on her skirts and took the steps carefully.

As soon as she joined Nathalie, the older woman linked their arms together. They walked up the red carpet and into the Louvre.

Nathalie walked right past the welcoming committee. 

Heads swivelled, watching them.

Marinette felt the stares and nervously bit her lip. ‘Um, don’t you have to say hello to people?’

‘Not dressed like this.’ Nathalie glanced around the room. ‘I’m curious to see how long before people recognise me.’

Realisation dawned. ‘You’re getting revenge.’

‘“Give them the rope and they’ll hang themselves”. Speaking of,’ Nathalie’s nose twitched at the sight of a specific critic, ‘don’t wander off.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’ Marinette glanced up and imitated the tilt of Nathalie’s shoulders.

A journalist strolled up to Nathalie. ‘Freida Klein with _Clothes Minded_—’

‘Hello, Freddy. I wasn’t expecting to see you until next season.’

The woman gave a strained laugh. ‘Whatever are you talking about?’

Nathalie’s face flickered back to its normal expression before resuming the practiced look.

Freida’s eyes widened. ‘Ms—Ms Sancoeur? You look so different!’

‘Funny what you can miss.’

The last bit of blood drained from the journalist’s face. She wobbled off and away.

‘What was that?’ said Marinette.

‘Freida is under a three-year ban from Paris Fashion Week.’ Nathalie walked with her hands folded in front of her.

Marinette imitated the body language.

‘Remember to walk heel-to-toe.’

‘Right.’ Marinette adjusted her walk. Combined with holding her hands in front, it really made it easier to balance. ‘I feel like I need more lessons.’

‘Don’t we all?’

A group of bloggers tried to push them, bumping into Marinette and stepping on Nathalie’s train.

Nathalie discreetly stuck her elbows out, catching two in the stomach. A controlled stumble backwards brought her heel down on the foot of a third.

Marinette watched the men and women stumble around them. ‘How did you do that?’

‘All you need to win at this game is a long memory and an understanding of practiced pettiness.’ Nathalie shrieked, her hands clutching the slit. ‘You oafs! This dress is priceless!’

‘Oh, my God! I’m so sorry!’ wailed a young man, trying to help a friend up. ‘Is it okay?’

He shivered under the frosty glare.

Nathalie made a show of memorising his face. ‘I won’t be so kind next time.’

Marinette’s stomach twisted as they left the young man and his friends in a heap. ‘Will they be okay?’

‘Eventually. The important part is to make sure they know their place. There’s a strict pecking order in this world. Roughly ninety-five percent are regularly in a struggle for their current position.’

‘And the rest?’ Marinette rolled her shoulders to keep from tensing.

‘Those are the established, the ones who fought their way up and can now smile or frown upon the peasants.’ Nathalie’s lips twitched. ‘The gods of fashion can afford a meanness no one else can.’ Her eyes flicked across the crowd and settled on a group in tri-coloured sashes. ‘Especially not politicians.’

Marinette stood on her toes to look. ‘Oh.’

As they continued to circle the room, Marinette saw more and more celebrities standing about and chatting. On recognising Nathalie, some were genuinely friendly.

Some seemed friendly but the smile was a little too stiff.

A few made veiled comments.

One woman ran her eyes over Nathalie’s dress. ‘Bit risky confirming rumours like this.’

‘Rumours are always risky,’ said Nathalie. ‘Knowing how to play them to your own strength is the difficult part.’

The woman narrowed her eyes and sulked off.

Marinette licked her lips, caught off-guard by her forgotten lipstick. ‘Do you have leverage on her?’

‘Not her.’ Nathalie linked their arms again. ‘Most of the time, you won’t have leverage on a specific person. Humans being the guilty creatures we are, simply implying that you know more than you do will send them panicking over what you might possibly know and how.’

‘Isn’t that lying?’

‘Is misdirecting an enemy army lying?’

Marinette frowned and thought that over as they started moving towards their seats.

Audrey Bourgeois’ shrill ‘Andrew!’ pierced the busyness of the room.

Nathalie clicked her tongue. ‘She’s on time for once.’

‘Will we be sitting near her?’

‘Only if someone changed the seating chart in the last four hours.’

Through the speakers, Alec Cataldi’s voice boomed, ‘Ladies and gentlemen! The show will be starting in fifteen minutes. If you could find your seats…’

Marinette jumped when a voice said, ‘Good evening, ladies.’

She whirled around, the volume of her skirts nearly knocking her over.

‘Georges,’ said Nathalie coolly. ‘I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight.’

Geroges Blanches squinted at her. His eyes widened. ‘Nathalie? I never would have recognised you in this!’ His lazy smile returned. ‘Not from the back at least. Why aren’t you back with Gabriel? Are you two finally official? Settling into your trophy wife role?’

‘Why does everyone keep asking that?’ said Marinette in mock innocence.

He glanced at her before running his eyes over Nathalie’s dress. ‘Gabriel’s genius is his ability to advertise within his designs. No one is missing his message with such a dress on you of all people. Only a fool would pretend otherwise.’

‘And neither of us are fools,’ said Nathalie.

‘Exactly. I’m glad to know there’s no need for pretence between us.’

Nathalie studied her nails in a practiced manner. ‘That’s the problem with these new dynamics.’ Her eyes flicked to his face. ‘If I don’t like you, I don’t have to spend my time pretending I do.’

His façade flickered. ‘I love a good challenge.’

In an innocent tone, Marinette said, ‘Like a legal challenge? For harassment?’

Georges shot her a poisonous look.

Nathalie’s lips curled in satisfaction. ‘Out of the mouths of babes, right?’

His jaw tightened.

‘Didn’t Ladybug and Chat Noir talk to you about harassing people?’ said Marinette.

‘Unfortunately for them, Hawkmoth has retired,’ he snapped.

‘They haven’t.’

Georges scowled at Marinette.

Nathalie lay a hand on her charge’s shoulder. ‘Until next time, Georges.’

She guided Marinette through the crowd and to their seats.

Marinette shuddered. ‘That was disgusting.’

‘There are always ways to deal with people like him,’ said Nathalie. ‘It just takes a lot of digging.’

The crowd parted just enough for them to come face to face with Audrey Bourgeois and the oh-so esteemed mayor.

The fashion critic lifted her glasses and studied their faces.

Nathalie gave her the slightest incline of her head and continued to their seats. ‘Like I said.’

‘Nathalie Sancoeur!’

Everyone in the room jumped at Audrey’s shriek.

This time, Marinette’s skirts swished with confidence, easing the ball of nerves in her stomach. She was a princess. More importantly, she was Adrien’s princess.

Audrey walked around them, studying the dresses. She paused in front of Nathalie’s dress. ‘Not bad for a politician’s brat.’

‘My father was in banking, not politics.’

‘Don’t be coy,’ drawled Audrey. ‘Being the president of one of the top Swiss banks counts as a politician.’

The critic stepped back, hands on her hips. ‘Definitely an upgrade from the last show.’

‘I wish I could say the same about you. I thought jumpsuits were out after last season.’

‘They’re in if I say they are!’ Audrey crossed her arms. ‘But if we’re talking about dated, then Gabriel should have known better than to put you in silk velvet. Or is that the whole point?’

‘What happens between Mr Agreste and myself is our business,’ said Nathalie tersely. ‘Just as the status of your marriage is supposed to be yours.’

‘Humph!’ Audrey sniffed and walked off to her seat.

‘Wow,’ whispered Marinette. ‘She sounded just like Chloe.’

Nathalie rubbed her left forearm. ‘I need to warn Gabriel. That was as good as a confirmation for anyone listening.’

Music blasted through the speakers, the five-minute warning to the start of the show.

‘Will you be in trouble?’ said Marinette.

Nathalie looked at the stage with a worried frown. She blinked and relaxed. ‘It’s nothing we haven’t faced before.’ She smiled. ‘It was the first rumour I faced after being hired.’

‘Really?’

‘Well, it was about Mrs Agreste and myself. Only after several months was Mr Agreste himself included in the rumours.’

Marinette’s eyes bugged as she followed the implication. ‘That’s horrible,’ she whispered. ‘Did you ever get your revenge?’

‘Plenty of times.’ Nathalie turned to Marinette. ‘I’m not a good person.’

Marinette took her assigned seat in the front row. 

Nathalie moved the pink skirts and sat in the chair next to her.

People filled the seats around them.

In a low voice, Marinette said, ‘I’ve dreamed of being a fashion designer ever since I was little. I never thought about what it really entailed.’

‘The art of sewing and designing will get you noticed, but you’ll be gone faster than one of Audrey’s assistants if you don’t learn to swim amongst the sharks.’

Marinette’s shoulders drooped.

Nathalie said sympathetically, ‘As you grow and learn, you’ll become more confident in yourself.’

‘But will I? I’m a bundle of nerves right now, and I’m not even important other than as your pink poof of a shadow!’

‘My grandmother always said “confidence is not ‘they will like me’ but ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t”.’

'I like that. Can I use it for a class quote?’

‘Put it on a shirt if you like.’

Marinette grinned, the tension easing. ‘It’s kind of silly.’

‘Find your target audience and never be ashamed of your ambition.’ Nathalie lay a hand on Marinette’s shoulder. ‘Your connections will help you climb, but you will fight your own battles to stay there.’

‘And if—what if people think I’m arrogant? What if I turn out like Audrey? Or worse?’

‘“It’s only hubris if I fail”.’ 

‘Who said that?’

‘Julius Caesar.’ Nathalie winked. ‘It’s taped to Gabriel’s bathroom mirror.’

‘Really?’

‘The higher you are, the more support you need and the harder it becomes to ask for it.’

The overhead lights dimmed and the stage lights lit up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for your response, everyone! I don’t tell you enough how much I appreciate your comments, feedback, and where on EARTH are all these kudos coming from? 
> 
> Based on the show of hands, there is going to be a sequel involving Adrinette learning to drive and battling Le Bac (the test, not an Akuma), Adrien getting glasses, and everyone trying to keep the GabeNath twins from destroying Paris while Plagg babysits.


	42. When the Chips are Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not sure where this chapter came from (it wrote itself in roughly an hour), but I'm screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dredged of my old Twitter account from the days of old and dropped off a couple of memes if anyone's interested: https://twitter.com/Book_Squirrel5
> 
> *EDIT: Things are now being posted on Instagram, still @book_squirrel5 .

Backstage, Adrien stood in line with the other models.

Gabriel and his team walked up and down the line, making final checks.

The music started up.

The stage manager waited for the first refrain before dropping her arm. ‘Go.’

As soon as the first model reached the end of the catwalk, the next one strode out.

Adrien stood on his toes, stretching out his feet. The shoes were half a size too big due to a false start on his growth spurt.

The first model stepped back through the curtains and sprinted to the rack holding his next outfit.

By the time the model stepped behind him, it was Adrien’s turn to walk out.

The lights were as bright as ever, making it difficult to see anyone in the crowd.

Walk, walk, walk, walk…stop, pose, pose, pivot…walk, walk, walk, walk…

‘Great job,’ said the manager as soon as he stepped through. ‘Rafael!’

The model shoved his arms into his jacket and joined the line.

Adrien had his own jacket and half of his shirt off by the time he made it to the rack with his clothes.

His dressers had him changed and back in line in twenty-five seconds.

Gabriel walked along the line and stopped by his son. ‘Be careful of the bounce in your step.’

‘Sorry.’ Adrien fixed his shoulders. ‘I’m really happy and excited to see Marinette in whatever you sewed up for her.’

‘I know.’ Gabriel popped the collar of the leather jacket and nodded. ‘Soon.’

Three more models went out.

‘I’m excited to see what you made for Nathalie.’

The model in front of Adrien went.

‘Me, too,’ said the designer softly.

The manager snapped her fingers. ‘Adrien!’

He jumped and took the practiced steps down the catwalk. With every increasingly bouncy step, the practiced pout faded into a broad grin.

By the time he reached the end, he felt like he was flying from sheer joy. He turned and walked back up.

It was happening! It was finally—

A series of flashbulbs popped, exposing a mass of pink fluff to his right and lighting up Marinette’s beaming face.

The boy froze, transfixed at the vision in pink.

Fingers snapped in front of Marinette’s face.

Marinette looked over.

Adrien gulped at Nathalie’s scowl. Gathering the remnants of his dignity, he sauntered back up slightly faster than he should.

The dressers helped him into the show stopper.

‘What was that?’ hissed one of the models.

Gabriel glared at them.

When Adrien took his spot in line, Gabriel said, ‘You saw her?’

‘Just for a moment. She’s—’ He took a deep breath. ‘I can’t wait to see her properly.’

Gabriel kept his hand on Adrien’s shoulder. When it was time to step out, he squeezed it briefly.

Adrien’s emotions steadied at his father’s reassurance. He retained his professionalism long enough to walk out with the showstopper and pose long enough to sufficiently wow the audience.

Between his father’s reassurance and Nathalie’s scowl, he could finish the show.

The models filed out for the final parade and lined up at the edges of the stage.

People stood and applauded as Gabriel walked to the end and bowed.

Adrien snuck a look and saw the smile of satisfaction on the designer’s face.

Backstage, Adrien changed from his show clothes and into the shawl-collared tuxedo assigned for the rest of the evening. He wiped the stage makeup off and applied the now-standard eyeliner and cover-up.

He ran a careful hand through his hair, wary of the sweat which always gathered.

‘Ready?’ said Gabriel, appearing in the mirror.

‘Yeah, just a minute.’ Adrien tugged on his jacket and popped his neck. ‘Are you ready?’

‘I don’t have much a choice.’ Gabriel fixed the collar of his own tuxedo-jacket. ‘I put myself in this position.’

Father and son emerged from backstage.

Security guards guided them past the journalists and to exhibit hall set aside for VIPs.

Even with the controlled population, people still swarmed the two with congratulations and questions.

They worked through the hall, giving pre-approved answers to a flurry of questions and comments.

Adrien kept looking for Marinette, straining his neck, but his father kept a firm grip on his shoulder.

Gabriel stopped suddenly.

Adrien crashed into him. ‘Ow.’ He rubbed his nose. ‘What’s—oh!’

The red streak in her hair was the only identifiable feature, and even that…

There must have been twenty people gathered around the dark-haired woman with the French twist and breath-taking dress. All of them were swallowing a little too hard, their pupils a little too dilated, their breathing a little too fast.

Adrien barely managed to whisper, ‘Wow.’

Nathalie laughed at something someone said and took a sip of her drink. She spotted the pair and cocked an eyebrow.

An extra dose of mischief oozed from her smile. 

Gabriel paled as he gripped his son’s shoulder more tightly.

‘So you’re proposing tonight instead of next month, right?’ whispered Adrien.

‘I—I—’

They could just hear Nathalie’s ‘Excuse me, everyone’ as she stood up.

Adrien pushed his father into a chair before he could fall.

Nathalie passed through the crowd, one hand holding her skirt.

Adrien hissed in his father’s ear, ‘You’re going to do whatever she tells you and thank her for it afterwards.’

‘Adrien, Gabriel,’ said Nathalie, clearing the last person. ‘Good recovery, Adrien.’

‘Thank you.’ He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling very superfluous. ‘Um, where’s Marinette?’

Nathalie gave her normal smile. ‘She’s waiting for you in the Spanish Gallery.’

‘Thanks, mom!’ He kissed her cheek and ran off to look for his princess.

He escaped through an Employees Only door and ran up the stairs.

Plagg crawled out of his jacket and floated alongside him. ‘What’s you hurry? It’s not midnight yet.’

‘I want to find her well before midnight.’ Adrien cleared the stairs and checked the map. He groaned. ‘It’s going to take all night just to get there.’

‘You could just run,’ said the Kwami.

‘Or I could transform and be there in two minutes.’

‘You could, but I doubt whatever your father designed goes well with black leather.’

‘Everything goes well with black leather.’ Adrien frowned at the map and looked around for security cameras. ‘Plagg, cl—’

He snapped his mouth shut at the sound of heavy footsteps in the stairwell. 

Plagg lazily snuggled into the pocket handkerchief.

The Gorilla pushed the door open. He gave an especially grumpy grunt.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Sorry.’

Another grunt.

‘Thank you!’ Adrien jogged through the galleries.

‘Ugh, why do you have to look so happy about exercise?’ said Plagg.

‘I’m not happy about the exercise. I’m happy about seeing Marinette! Would it kill you to admit you’re happy to see her and Tikki?’

‘Meh.’

‘Keep up that attitude and you’ll be walking to the Spanish Gallery.’

Plagg side-eyed him. ‘You’re really going to threaten me?’

‘All I have to do is tell Marinette and Tikki about how you’re treating me.’ Adrien hurdled a bench.

The Kwami yelped at the jump. ‘You keep using that threat—’

‘And it keeps working. Father has his hair and socks back, if you haven’t noticed.’

Adrien slowed outside the Spanish Gallery and took several deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart. He checked his hair and face in the reflection of a window and gave it a thumbs up.

The swish of skirts and the faint click of heels on hard flooring made his heartrate kick back up to the triple digits.

‘It’s okay,’ he muttered. ‘I can do this. I’m Chat Noir.’

‘You’re Adrien Agreste, idiot,’ said his pocket handkerchief.

Adrien slapped the pocket, making it squeal. ‘Shut up.’

He followed the sounds to a side room.

Soft lighting illuminated the dark-hair pouring over the pink dress.

Marinette stood with her hands clasped behind her back, head tilted back as she studied an image of the Virgin and Child.

‘My God.’

She looked over at his soft gasp.

The knowing, come-hither look drained the blood from his face.

‘Hey, Little Songbird,’ she purred. ‘You’re looking fine.’

Adrien wheezed as Marinette sauntered over.

Her skirts exaggerated the grace of her movements. The soft lighting highlighted the darkness of her eyes, the teasing twist to her lips.

She stood with her nose right beneath his chin. ‘Cat got your tongue?’

‘Heh…’

‘It’s okay.’ Her eyes ran over him. ‘You were almost purr-fect tonight. It was a bit un-fur-tunate—’

Adrien squeaked as she stood on her toes, hands still clasped behind her back. ‘Y-y-y—’

‘Yes?’ She brushed her nose against his. ‘Are you feline fine?’

‘Paw-paws—’ He gulped. ‘Pawsitively, Pri-Pri-Princess.’

‘Mm.’ She swallowed a laugh. ‘As pretty as you are, it’s your purr-sonality I’m most invested in.’

He squeaked.

‘It’s lucky you’re a one Bug Cat rather than a regular Catanova.’

‘Well, you’re—you’re…’

She blinked slowly. ‘Yes, Glamourpuss?’

Adrien dropped like a stone.

Marinette managed to half-catch him and lowered him to the floor. ‘So it actually works.’

Plagg crawled out of the pocket and groaned. ‘Way to render him catatonic.’

‘Turn about’s fair play.’ She took a deep breath and relaxed into her normal posture. ‘I should probably get help.’

‘His bodyguard’s about three rooms away.’

‘Awesome. Thanks.’ She fist-bumped the Kwami and rolled Adrien onto his back. ‘I’ll be back, kitten.’

She kissed his cheek and ran down the corridor.

Plagg buzzed next to his Chosen’s face, arms crossed. ‘Pawthetic. Really! So she bats her eyes and makes a few puns.’

Adrien waved a weak arm. ‘Shut up and let me enjoy this.’

‘Your funeral.’


	43. Loved, Not Worshipped

Cons of being taller than average: You hit your head on everything, blankets are never long enough, and people recycle the same pathetic athletic related jokes.

Pros of being taller than average: It takes minimal effort to stare people down and you can see over most everyone’s heads, thereby allowing you to track the object of your affections as they make their way around the room.

Gabriel remained near the chair where Adrien had deposited him, an untouched drink clasped tightly in his hand.

The drink Nathalie had forced into his hand before merging back into the socialising masses.

He had packed Finley off to join Reynard in wrangling Nathalie’s family with the rest of the guests in the non-VIP party. Her nervous fluttering had only aggravated his own stress and anxiety.

All the while, Audrey circled closer and closer.

A petite critic said, ‘Another excellent show, Gabriel! Changing Adrien’s look like that completely subverted our expectations, even with the new ads going up.’

‘He’s old enough to experiment with his appearance.’ Gabriel’s eyes continued to track Nathalie, the red streak in her hair his last remaining lifeline.

She had turned down the charm—witchcraft, really. It had to be witchcraft to change her so completely—since first seeing him. The fluid movement of her hips and the smile on her face were constant reminders that she was still far from her normal levels of restraint.

Near his elbow, the critic continued chatting. ‘…Leather, always a classic but so difficult to balance…’

Nathalie laughed and shook her head at a comment from her conversation partner.

Gabriel flushed as she squeezed the man’s arm before moving on.

‘…But they say peacock is on the rise.’

Designer and critic started when Audrey drawled, ‘Only you would find peacock on trend, Petunia, dear.’

‘It’s Patricia,’ said the critic, colouring.

‘Whatever.’ Audrey held out her hand.

Gabriel kissed the hand obediently. ‘It was a pleasure to have you tonight, Audrey. But while I designed the outfits, Adrien’s hair was entirely his own doing.’

‘Really?’ 

Audrey’s eyebrows arched over her glasses. ‘I’m surprised the boy had enough spine to attempt such a piece of rebellion. Was it his little friends?’

‘No; they’ve been respectful as far as his career.’

‘Well, that’s something,’ said Patricia. ‘Children have no understanding of permanence these days.’

Gabriel’s attention wandered off to Nathalie, now chatting with a journalist from New York. His hand clenched at the small of his back.

‘Really, Gabriel! Are you even listening?’

‘Apologies.’ He cleared his throat. ‘It’s been an exhausting lead-up for this show.’

‘Hm. Perhaps a vacation is due before you come to New York next month.’ Audrey tapped his sternum. ‘I won’t have you nodding off in the middle of meetings. It simply won’t do.’

‘Naturally.’ He sipped his drink. ‘Until then.’

‘Indeed. Antonio!’ Audrey stomped off, looking for her husband.

Patricia gave Gabriel a sympathetic look. ‘Are you really agreeing to an exclusive arrangement with Audrey?’

‘Not readily, but it’s good business sense.’

‘I wish you luck.’ The critic disappeared into the steadily dwindling sea of people.

Gentle music played from the dancefloor.

Gabriel nearly spilled his drink when a hand curled around his bicep.

He looked down and into Nathalie’s eyes. ‘Good evening.’

‘Dance with me?’ she murmured, blinking slowly.

Gabriel was experienced enough to know that it was himself, not the room, which was suddenly much warmer. He rubbed the back of his neck and set the drink on a nearby table. ‘Anything for you.’

They took their positions on the dancefloor and settled into the music, swaying with the beat.

‘You can relax your hand,’ said Nathalie after a minute. ‘It’ll be easier for me to follow you.’

He obeyed, nearly stumbling when his fingers touched her bare back.

When she didn’t run away screaming about a harassment suit, Gabriel tucked their outstretched arms against his chest.

Nathalie’s eyebrows twitched in question.

He nodded, and she lay her head against his shoulder, her face turned outwards to face the room.

They swayed to the music, their steps increasingly smaller as the music slowed.

Nathalie sighed and relaxed into his embrace, her skirt swishing around their legs.

He rested his cheek against her hair, closing his eyes.

Let the world talk; he could afford it.

The song ended, their bodies barely moving, their arms twined about each other.

‘Can we talk?’ said Gabriel.

Nathalie nodded, slipping away carefully.

They wove through the tables and chairs and climbed the stairs to the second floor.

Upstairs, soft lights illuminated the different treasures. The couple walked through the galleries, silent except for their footsteps and the discreet hum of the lights.

Their hands brushed together twice.

Gabriel stopped at a window overlooking the courtyard. ‘How did the show look?’

‘It was another successful show by Agreste Fashions,’ said Nathalie.

‘Is that all you can say?’

‘What do you want me to say? It’s far more interesting backstage than as a spectator.’

‘Bored, were we?’

She flashed a smile, a real smile, not the practiced look worn all evening.

Gabriel’s heartbeat kicked up another notch.

‘Someone’s feeling observant today,’ said Nathalie.

He coughed awkwardly before half-perching on the railing, hands shoved into his pockets. ‘I’ve never had a family member in the audience.’

Her gaze fixed on the pyramid below, arms wrapped around her middle. ‘I’ve noticed. What changed?’

When he didn’t respond, she looked over and said, ‘Was it for Marinette?’

‘Partially.’ He swallowed. ‘This world isn’t safe for her to be unaccompanied.’

‘Not yet. She’s a quick study. In a few years, she and Adrien will be the ultimate power couple.’

‘What about now?’

She looked up quickly. The diamond earrings flashed with the movement. 

Gabriel chewed on his lower lip. ‘Things are changing. They have changed. You’re not just my assistant anymore.’

‘You did blackmail me into wearing this dress.’

‘My single crowning success of the evening.’ He tried to laugh and failed.

Nathalie studied his face, an eyebrow furrowing. ‘What is it?’

‘You, uh, you originally applied for a position in Finance.’

‘Only for them to decide I would be better as Emilie’s personal assistant six weeks later.’

‘Good times for the opportunistic.’

Nathalie forced a smile but ducked her head. Her shoe scraped at the baseboard. ‘Says the man who poached his wife’s assistant the moment she fell ill enough to not need one any longer.’

‘How could I not? You were the only one who didn’t make me feel like an idiot for not understating social cues.’

The climate control system clicked on.

Nathalie shivered and tightened her grip around herself.

A group of twenty people left the museum and climbed into waiting cars, yelling and shrieking in celebration. 

The system clicked off.

Gabriel cleared his throat. ‘Mathilde submitted a letter of resignation this week. She accepted a position in Florida.’

‘Poor her.’ Nathalie shook a hair out of her eyes. ‘The summers are awful there.’

‘The position of Chief Financial Officer is yours if you want it.’

‘I see.’

‘What is it?’

‘I’m being replaced.’

‘Not replaced! Promoted. I need you,’ he licked his lips. ‘I need you in other places, managing bigger and better things.’

She nodded, eyes fixed on the courtyard. ‘What about you and Adrien? It’s going to take several weeks to properly train Finley.’

‘I, um,’ he resumed studying his shoes. ‘I was hoping that with some time…you and I…’ He looked up. ‘I was hoping we could look after Adrien together.’

Nathalie jerked her head up. ‘Just the two of us?’

Gabriel’s shoulders loosened slightly. ‘And any relatives of yours who invite themselves for a long stay.’

She groaned, the tension broken. ‘We’re going to need a smaller house.’

‘Your grandmother said that won’t deter them.’

‘No, but it will make it easier to convince them when they need to leave.’

Gabriel turned to face her straight on, his hand resting on the railing behind them. ‘What do you think? Will you step down as executive assistant and retire to the bucolic fields of corporate finance?’

She snorted. ‘“Bucolic”? In Finance? You’ve never visited that department, have you?’

‘I’ve never had a reason before.’ His eyes flicked to her lips. ‘I wouldn’t be opposed to gaining one.’

‘What do you want, Agreste?’ A line appeared between her eyebrows. ‘Tell me in black and white.’

He rested his forehead against hers. ‘Must you always be so legal minded?’

‘You’re not the only one in a precarious position.’

‘I’m sorry.’ He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘You never ask for anything and I forget…’

She pulled away slightly, enough to study him. ‘Gabriel, please don’t make me beg. What do you want?’

He bit the inside of his cheek. ‘I want you. To have and to hold,’ he took her hands, tangling his fingers with hers, ‘for better, for worse.

‘To love,’ he brushed his lips across hers, ‘and to cherish.’

‘But never worship,’ she whispered.

‘I so swear.’

They waited in the silence, eyes closed, noses brushing.

‘Will you catch me now?’ whispered Nathalie.

‘Always.’ He kissed her forehead, eyes squeezed shut. ‘Always and forever.’

‘Then kiss me.’

And he did. 

Her arms twined about his neck, a hand curling in his hair as she deepened their kiss.

He sighed with contentment, arms wrapped around her waist. ‘My Nathalie.’

‘Yours and none other.’

‘I so swear.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Adrinette sappiness was so much easier.
> 
> We're at 1K kudos, everyone! *screams into the Void*


	44. Cards on the Table

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone. It's been a week. Long story short, I had the What and the Why but wasn't sure about the How. Here we go again.

The two braincells still functioning in the back of Adrien’s brain insisted that this was a terrible idea.

His body said it was a fabulous idea.

Low lighting? Check.

Tasteful, select artwork? Check.

Alone but not isolated? Check.

The most beautiful girl in the world who challenged and loved him equally? His equal? His Lady? The Greatest Love in this City of L—

Marinette’s fingers tangled further in his hair.

Adrien moaned, and the two braincells kindly packed up their bags and moved elsewhere.

When they came up for air, Adrien whispered, breathlessly, ‘You’re magic, My Lady.’

She laughed, as breathless as him. ‘You’re just paraphrasing Jagged Stone’s song. Give me something original.’

‘My love for you has rendered me useless.’

Marinette caught his lips with hers. ‘Not too useless, Kitty.’

‘Mmm.’ His hands tightened around her waist, wrinkling the fabric.

‘Careful,’ she whispered.

‘What the hell are you doing?’

Adrinette jumped, knocking their teeth together.

‘Ow! Fuck!’ Marinette held her hand over her mouth.

‘Fucking hell!’

‘Language,’ said Gabriel dryly, as if he hadn’t been eating Nathalie’s face fifteen minutes earlier and a floor above. ‘Have you been here this entire time?’

‘Maybe?’ Adrien wriggled his finger against his teeth. ‘Ow, that hurts.’

‘We’ll find ice packs at home. For now, I’ve come to collect you.’

Adrien continued to moan and whine down the corridor. ‘How long were you there?’

‘I cleared my throat twice before speaking.’

‘How did you find us?’ Marinette gingerly felt her swelling lip.

‘I followed the sound of Adrien’s text alerts. This building has excellent acoustics.’ Gabriel walked with his hands clasped behind his back, the teens walking on either side.

Marinette gathered up her skirts and trotted to keep up with the Agrestes’ long strides. ‘Is it really that late?’

‘Late enough. Nathalie said something about preparing a guest room for you.’

Adrien poked his head around his father, his grin broadening. ‘You’re staying over?’

‘With tonight ending so late and there not being any school tomorrow, it made sense.’ Marinette looked up at Gabriel. ‘Nathalie told my parents that you and she would be responsible if anything were to happen.’

‘Humph.’

Adrien slowly navigated his way over to Marinette and slid his hand into hers. ‘We can finally have that tournament!’

‘Which one?’ She squeezed his hand. ‘Smash? Mario Cart? Pokémon?’

He thought for a minute. ‘All of them.’

Gabriel said, ‘You do need to sleep at some point tonight.’

Adrien grimaced at his father. ‘Why do you have to turn into a hands-on parent right as I get a girlfriend.’

‘Kitty,’ said Marinette in a warning tone.

‘Think about it,’ said Gabriel, holding the door to the stairs open.

Marinette went first.

Adrien hugged his father, making the older man grunt in surprise. ‘I’m not complaining.’

Gabriel hugged Adrien tightly. ‘I’m sorry for not being there through—through everything.’

‘It’s okay. You’re here now.’ Adrien tilted his head back and dabbed at the tears threatening to spill out. He sniffed and followed Marinette.

They followed the sound of music to the remainder of the party. The VIP party had died down, but the party with the other invitees was still going strong.

Marinette elbowed Adrien and pointed.

He grimaced at the sight of Bob Roth and XY being escorted out by security. ‘Glad we don’t have to deal with them again.’

‘Tell me something I don’t know,’ whispered Marinette.

‘Hey,’ he pulled her close, ‘they can’t ever hurt you again. Okay?’

She nodded, but the line remained between her eyebrows.

‘There’s Nathalie.’ Gabriel herded the teens to one side of the room. On seeing Georges Blanches chatting with her, he growled.

Adrien looked up in shock. ‘Did you just—?’

Gabriel’s scowl deepened as he pushed through the crowd.

Following close behind, Adrien could finally see Nathalie.

One hand held a champagne flute. Her knuckles whitened as she said, ‘I agree. You’re much improved when I don’t wear my glasses as well.’

Gabriel walked faster as Blanches leaned in closer.

‘There’s something on your neck, right by your ear,’ said Blanches.

Nathalie reached up and flushed. 

Marinette and Adrien followed in Gabriel’s wake through the crowd. They could just hear Blanches say, ‘…You can do better. It’s not your job to fix him.’

Before Nathalie could say anything, Gabriel slid his arms around her waist. He slid his nose up her neck, making her shiver. ‘I missed you, my love.’

Adrien grabbed Marinette, trying to keep from falling over.

Nathalie lay her hands over Gabriel’s. ‘And I you,’ she murmured before kissing him.

‘Holy...’ Marinette stared wide-eyed.

The designer’s ears turned red but he pressed closer.

‘Shit,’ said Adrien. He cleared his throat. ‘Go, Dad!’

Around them, people stopped and stared. 

Marinette said, ‘So much for Operation Closet.’

‘Keep it. We may need it later.’

‘Not if he’s leaving love bites where anyone can see them.’

‘Thanks for pointing that out. I think it would be wise to leave Paris and never return.’

Marinette tugged on Adrien’s chin until he looked at her. She batted her eyes. ‘But then who will be my partner?’

‘Heh, uh, an excellent point.’

By now, the entire room had stopped pretending to not listen at this point. The sound of electronic shutters from dozens of camera phones was deafening. 

The couple looked around the room and exchanged a look.

Nathalie shrugged.

Gabriel grinned mischievously and dipped her before resuming their kiss.

Cat calls and whistles sounded.

‘Man’s got game!’

Someone shouted, ‘Pay up, fuckers!’

‘Such a slut,’ said Blanches.

Adrien blood boiled.

Nathalie gave Blanches a poisonously sweet smile as Gabriel pulled her to a standing position. ‘And yet I still won’t fuck you.’

‘Mmm! Whatcha say?’ chanted several people.

Adrien pushed through the last two adults and said to Blanches, ‘I can’t believe that all of time and space and we have to deal with you right here, right now.’

‘Adrien,’ said Gabriel.

‘What’s the joke?’ said Marinette, popping up from behind Blanches, her hands hidden in the countless layers of fabric. ‘“One universe, nine planets—’

‘What are they teaching in schools these days?’ said Blanches. ‘There are eight.’

Adrien channelled every bit of vitriol life had ever thrown his way. ‘Viva la Pluto, fuckwad!’ he shouted, extending both middle fingers.

‘And on that note, a very good night.’ Gabriel swept his family out of the room and into the cold night air.

Marinette immediately started shivering and chattering.

Adrien wrapped her in his jacket and said, ‘Are you two together now?’

‘She accepted my proposal,’ said Gabriel.

Nathalie said, ‘No need to sound so smug.’

He placed a hand at the small of her back. ‘I thought that was your type.’

‘Hm.’

The driver held the door to the limousine open. It took all four of them and three minutes to get Marinette’s dress into the car.

‘I don’t remember it being this difficult last time,’ said Marinette as she collapsed into her seat, her head falling back against the head rest.

‘It’s been a long time since we left the mansion,’ said Nathalie wearily, sliding across the seat to make room for Gabriel.

The driver slammed the door shut behind the designer.

Gabriel undid his bow tie. ‘We are never doing that again.’

‘Play your cards right and you won’t,’ said Nathalie.

‘So,’ said Adrien, ‘you’re eloping tomorrow, right?’ He pulled up the calendar app on his phone. ‘The way I see it, if you get started right away, I could actually have a sibling by the end of the Christmas season.’

Marinette snickered before outright laughing at the adult’s faces.

‘…The Blue Room is perfectly situated to be converted into a nursery. By the time the baby’s outgrown it, I’ll be off at university and they can have my room…’

Gabriel whispered to Nathalie, ‘Did you help him with any of this?’

‘Hell no,’ she hissed.

‘…Which means that the nursery can then be used for Marinette’s and my kids when we come to visit!’ Adrien squeezed Marinette’s hand. ‘And if siblings are born by the end of this year, they’ll be old enough to participate in our wedding without needing a minder in the wedding party…’

‘This is wonderful, Adrien,’ said Nathalie wearily. ‘We’ll discuss it tomorrow.’

‘Are you okay?’ said Marinette.

‘I’ll be fine,’ she said. ‘I just wish there was a way to get dirt on Georges.’

Marinette held out a recent model of phone. ‘Would this help?’

Nathalie grabbed the phone with a squeal. ‘I can’t believe it! Marinette, you are an absolute gem!’ 

Adrien stared. ‘No way! How?’

‘Umm…’

‘Ask her no questions and she’ll give you no lies,’ said Gabriel.

Nathalie exhaled to build up condensation on the touch screen to look for fingerprints.

Two minutes later, she was going through the phone’s files. ‘I love touch screens. They make hacking so much easier!’

Everyone stared at her.

‘I’m sorry?’ said Gabriel.

‘Mm, good stuff in here,’ murmured Nathalie. She looked up and said, ‘Did I not mention that my father wanted me to be an ethical hacker?’

‘Nope!’ said Adrien. ‘You completely forgot about that!’

‘Let this be a lesson in remembering to clean your phones regularly.’ Nathalie chuckled as she skimmed files. 

‘And what are we going to do when he discovers the phone missing?’ said Gabriel.

‘I can copy everything tonight. We’ll have someone drop it off at Lost and Found at the Louvre in the morning.’

‘Can’t he just use the Find Your Phone locater?’ said Adrien.

‘Only if I didn’t turn it off already.’

‘You sound like you’ve done this before,’ said Gabriel. 

The car pulled to a stop.

‘Not every part of my life revolves around you, darling.’

Adrien snickered as his father blushed.

Best family night ever.


	45. Bendiga Esta Familia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't mind me. Just chasing attempted smut out the door with a broom and sanctified oil.

Phantom shot downstairs the minute she heard her humans at the front door.

Adrien picked her up and rubbed his face on her forehead. ‘Hello, little one. Did you miss us?’

‘More like she missed her dinner,’ said Nathalie, thumbs flying over the stolen phone as she kicked her shoes off and went to the office.

‘Oops. Good point.’ He held Phantom in one arm. ‘Marinette? Family selfie before we change?’

‘Sure.’ She lay her head on his shoulder and beamed for the camera.

As his thumb hit the button, she said, ‘You’re just trying to delay my kicking your ass.’

He scowled as the camera clicked. ‘No need to be hurtful. Besides, courtesy of that dress, I’d have half a game finished before you were up the stairs.’

Marinette stood toe to toe, nose to clavicle. ‘Sure you want to take it there, Agreste?’

He gulped. ‘Uh-huh-ha! Um!’

Phantom gave a piercing, drawn-out meow, ears flattening against her head. 

Plagg risked sticking his head out. ‘Just deal with the kitten!’ he hissed. ‘You can have a good flirt later.’

Marinette tapped his head. ‘Is that a promise?’

The Kwami gagged and disappeared again.

‘He’s just missing Tikki,’ said Adrien.

‘No! I’m not—’

A crash sounded from the office.

‘I’m good!’ called Nathalie.

‘What is she doing?’ said Adrien, absently petting Phantom.

‘Not feeding Phantom,’ said Plagg. 

‘Fine.’ He kissed his girlfriend before taking the starving kittens upstairs.

Marinette kicked her shoes off and sighed with relief. She picked them up and went into the office. ‘Nathalie?’

Nathalie looked up from a laptop, the light turning her skin blue. ‘Yes?’

‘Will you help me out of this dress?’

‘Five minutes. I want to start the file transfer as soon as possible.’

‘Thanks.’ Marinette walked barefoot through the office, looking at artwork and pictures. She paused in front of the mannequins with the half-finished satin dresses.

‘Nathalie?’ called Gabriel.

‘Office!’

He came in, tuxedo jacket in arm. ‘Do you know where your grandmother and Esther are?’ 

‘Hither, thither, and yon,’ said Nathalie. 

‘Meaning?’

‘I have no idea. They’ll come home when Abuela senses someone’s hungry.’

Marinette laughed. ‘Grandmother Cheng does that, too.’

Nathalie frowned at the laptop and rubbed her eyes.

‘Everything all right?’ said Gabriel, placing a hand on her shoulder.

‘I'm fine. My contacts are drying out.’ She plugged in the phone and lay it on the desk. ‘Ready to change?’

‘Yes, please.’ Marinette spun a final time. ‘Thank you so much for tonight, Mr Agreste and Nathalie.’

‘Any time,’ said Gabriel, a genuine smile on his face. ‘I’ll leave you ladies to it.’ He left and closed the door behind him.

Marinette turned her back to Nathalie and waited as she undid the lacings. ‘How long have you been in love with him?’

‘Which kind of love? There are many.’ 

‘When did they become your family?’

‘Longer than I know. My father cut me off when I chose to become a business major. My romantic feelings for Mr Agreste—’ Nathalie yanked on an especially stubborn lacing. ‘Those were only consciously realised this week.’

‘That seems fast.’

Nathalie was quiet for a minute. ‘When you’ve worked closely with someone for almost ten years, when you’ve been there for their highest highs and lowest lows, it changes your relationship into something other than purely romantic, purely anything—It forges it into something else.’

Marinette unconsciously touched her earrings. ‘I understand. It helps explain why Adrien’s so excited.’

‘A little too excited. No child should ever be this invested in their parents’ romance’

Nathalie unlaced three more rows.

‘Were Mr and Mrs Agreste happy together?’

Nathalie worked at a knot. ‘My understanding is that they were at first. They were truly, madly in love. But like many couples, they forgot to work at the love and their relationship. By the time I started working here, they were excellent business partners.’

‘But not in love.’

‘Lord preserve me from any marriage like theirs.’ Nathalie undid the last lace and tracked down the various hooks and buttons which would reveal the crinoline beneath. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘Maman said something about Adrien’s understanding of love being skewed, something to do with growing up reading about his parents when she was younger.’

‘The biggest threat to Adrien’s understanding of love comes from his exposure to anime, not his parents.’

‘Noted.’

The last button was undone, the last hook removed from its corresponding eye.

The dress fell free, and Marinette took a deep breath. ‘I didn’t realise how heavy the dress was.’

Nathalie handed her the robe from earlier. ‘Your overnight bag is in your guest room.’

‘Thanks.’ Marinette pulled the robe on and tied the sash. She ran her fingers over the embroidery. ‘So much work and just for one night.’

‘I’ve no doubt Mr Agreste wants to recreate the look for a fashion spread. The dress is one of most ornate items he’s designed in years.’

Marinette frowned. ‘I just realised: I’m in a mansion with marble floors and was wearing the most magnificent dress and didn’t run around barefoot! What am I even doing with my life?’

A freshly showered Nathalie sat curled up in her desk chair, hair in a messy bun, glasses perched on her nose. It was wonderful to breathe freely in her pyjamas and robe after being so aware of how much of her had been uncovered all evening.

She clicked through a file, absently chewing on a knuckle.

The door swung open silently, admitting a pyjama and robe-wearing Gabriel in slippers. He held up a dusty bottle and two glasses. ‘Care for a study snack?’

‘Everything is transferred and backed up.’ Nathalie unplugged the phone and lay it in a drawer. ‘Where have you been?’

Gabriel poured the wine. ‘I thought a celebration was in order.’

She took the offered glass. ‘Thank you. The wine cellar is too well organised for you to have spent your entire time looking for a specific bottle.’

‘Your organisation efforts are always appreciated.’ He perched on her desk. ‘Adrien and Marinette invited me to join in a round of games. Apparently, I’m not half bad at Mario Cart.’

‘Did they put it on the easiest setting?’

‘Let me enjoy my moment of victory.’ He held out his glass. ‘A toast: To new beginnings.’

‘You’re the worst sort of romantic,’ she said as she tapped her glass with his.

‘And that is?’

‘Cheesy.’ She sipped her wine. ‘It’s a complete mystery where Adrien gets it from.’

‘A little sarcasm would be appreciated, Ms Sancoeur.’

‘A little less drama, if you will, Mr Agreste.’ She grinned, swirling the wine in her glass.

His lips twitched. ‘Join me on the couch?’

‘Are you trying to seduce me?’

‘Only to return a favour.’

‘I beg your pardon.’

He grinned and patted the workstation. ‘This desk is not comfortable in the slightest.’

Nathalie held out her hand and let him pull her over to the couch.

They settled on the short end of the couch, each sitting at their own end.

Gabriel picked up her feet and lay them over his knee. ‘Comfortable?’

‘Almost.’ She pulled her feet back and tucked them under her.

‘I’m sorry. I don’t mean to rush you.’

‘It’s not that. It’s been a thing since I was a kid. If I’m going to relax, I want my feet tucked under me.’ She shifted deeper into the pillows. ‘Given our almost compulsive need for communication, I will say that Adrien’s enthusiasm made things incredibly awkward.’

‘I agree.’ Gabriel rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Do you—Do you want children?’

Nathalie swirled her wine. ‘I never thought about it before.’ She looked up. ‘All my life has been about working towards the job, the big office in the sky. Given my own family dynamics, it never seemed an option.’

‘And now?’ His hand curled over her knee, eyes studying her.

‘If it happens, let it happen.’

Gabriel’s face lit up with a grin.

Nathalie’s heart twinged. She couldn’t remember ever seeing Adrien-level excitement and enthusiasm on Gabriel’s face.

She set her wine down and scooted across the couch. ‘Do you want another child?’

‘Adrien wants a sibling.’

‘Adrien wants a lot of things.’

‘What if I said I want one?' His thumb stroked her face. ‘Or two or three?’

‘No more than five.’

‘You’re feeling generous.’

She kissed him. ‘I’m feeling loved.’

He kissed her back, pulling her closer.

Adrien and Marinette’s voices echoed down from the bedroom, the sound of the game accompanying their competition.

The Star Power theme started up.

‘Oh, come on!’ shouted Adrien.

‘Should we turn the Bullet Bill back on?’ said Marinette.

‘It’s only because we’re on the mirror setting.’

Nathalie giggling, losing her focus.

Gabriel gave the open door a dirty look. ‘Kids these days.’

Nathalie laughed harder and nearly fell off the couch.

He pulled her back to safety.

When she calmed, he said, ‘You looked amazing tonight.’

‘That’s good. You designed the damned thing.’

He kissed her. 'But I prefer this look.’

‘Because I’m comfortable?’

His ran a hand over her arm. ‘And touchable.’

Nathalie pulled out her hair tie and slid it over her wrist. She shook out her damp hair and immediately smirked. ‘Your pupils are dilated.’

‘Can you blame me?’

‘Did you really just red shell me?’ yelled Adrien.

Marinette’s cackle turned into a shriek.

Something landed hard on the floor.

Instantly, the adults were on their feet and running up the stairs.

Marinette straddled Adrien, pinning him to the floor, and mercilessly tickling his sides. ‘What do you have to say for yourself?’ she shouted.

‘I’m sorry!’ He batted her hands away, laughing and wriggling. ‘But it worked!’

‘What happened?’ said Gabriel.

‘Marinette red shelled me!’ said Adrien.

‘He tackled me!’ said Marinette, adjusting her balance. ‘And then this brat decided that if he can’t win the digital battle, he may as well—yikes!’

Adrien flipped her onto her back. ‘Gotcha!’

She widened her eyes and simpered. ‘Please, sir.’

‘N-no pl-playing dirty!’

Marinette rolled her eyes and slipped away. ‘Given that we have witnesses, I’ll have mercy on you this time.’

‘Rude.’

‘As entertaining as this is,’ said Nathalie. ‘It’s almost three. You should both get to bed.’

‘Or at least watch a film to calm down,’ said Gabriel.

Nathalie gave him A Look.

‘What?’

‘Think about it.’

‘We’ll be good!’ said Adrien, jumping to his feet. ‘We’ll keep the door open and watch something that’ll actually calm us down.’

Nathalie transferred The Look to him.

He held out his pinkie finger. In English, he said, ‘Pinkie promise.’

‘Fine.’ She took his pinkie with hers. ‘Pinkie promise.’

Adrien tackled her with a hug. ‘Thank you!’

Nathalie readily returned the hug this time. She stroked his hair. ‘Gladly. And we will be listening.’

‘Don’t worry. I want to make sure my kids are younger than their aunts and uncles.’

Gabriel sputtered.

Marinette coloured and gaped.

Nathalie scowled. ‘That was the line.’

‘Oops, sorry.’ He blinked innocently. ‘But did you discuss children yet?’

‘Fucking hell,’ hissed Nathalie. ‘Bed. Now.’

‘Na-ath!’

Marinette recovered enough to wave good night and scamper off to her own bed (the better to scream and panic).

The door slammed from its side of the mansion.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. ‘Er, sorry.’

‘Yeah,’ said Nathalie. ‘We’re going to start implementing healthy boundaries. Tomorrow.’

The Agrestes groaned.

‘Does that mean therapy?’ said Adrien, grimacing.

‘Now why would that be the first suggestion?’

‘Fine. I’ll go if Father does.’

Gabriel gave his son a look of absolute betrayal. ‘I’ll go if we have family counselling sessions.’

‘Done,’ said Nathalie. ‘And now, I’m going to bed, and so is Adrien.’

Adrien looked at his toes and nodded. ‘I really am sorry.’

Nathalie pulled him into a hug. ‘We’ll be healthy again. I promise.’

As she rubbed Adrien’s head, she mouthed to Gabriel, ‘Hug him.’

Gabriel’s eyes widened. ‘Why?’ he mouthed.

‘He’s your son!’

‘Are you having a conversation without me?’ said Adrien, his head buried in Nathalie’s shoulder.

‘We’re discussing love languages at breakfast.’ Nathalie kissed his forehead. ‘See you then.’

She left the room.

Adrien turned his father. ‘Sorry.’

Gabriel pulled Adrien into a tight hug. ‘Tomorrow’s a new day, but I wouldn’t trade tonight for anything.’

‘Me neither. I’m glad Nathalie and Marinette get along so well.’

‘Me, too. But it’s bedtime.’

‘See you at breakfast?’ said Adrien, his eyes hopeful.

‘Regularly.’

‘Thanks.’ Adrien climbed into bed.

Gabriel turned out the lights. ‘Good night.’

‘Night, Dad.’

Gabriel closed the door and jumped. ‘How long have you been lurking there?’

Nathalie said, ‘You really think I’m going to abandon the two of you together at this point?’

‘What did I do to deserve you?’

Seeing her think, Gabriel said, ‘Never mind. Don’t answer that. I know I don’t.’

They got as far as the landing before Gabriel cupped his hands around her face. ‘It’s just us,’ he kissed her temple, ‘in a big house,’ he kissed her jawline, ‘with no one to stop us.’

Nathalie rolled her eyes through the kiss. ‘Keep that up, and there will actually be a baby by Christmas.’

‘Mm,’ he nibbled on her lips. ‘I’m okay with that.’

They faintly heard the front door open, but Abuela’s, ‘_Ay! Niños!_’ banished all romantic feeling.

Gabriel and Nathalie stood frozen, their arms around each other, a blank look of horror at the interlopers below.

‘_Esta aqui!_’ cried Abuela, raising her hands upwards._ ‘Gloria a Dios!_’

Esther’s look of shock quickly dissolved into satisfaction. She crossed her arms. ‘Nice.’

‘_Estan juntos!_’ Abuela crossed herself and pressed her hands together. ‘_Mis oraciones habian escuchado!_’

Nathalie groaned and buried her face in Gabriel’s chest.

‘_Queremos muchos hermanos pour el pobre niño_!’

Esther’s shoulders shook. Less than a minute later, she was laughing. ‘_Verdad_, Abuela, _creeis que Talia ira morir una virgen.’_

‘_Carajo_!’ screeched Nathalie. ‘_Quires todos saber?_’

‘“_Carajo”? Es Méxicana_?’

‘_Oy_!’ shouted Abuela. ‘_Cuida tu lenguaje_!’

‘_Estamos adultas!_’

‘_Madre de Dios_,’ muttered Gabriel. ‘Good night.’

‘_Espera, chico!_’ called Abuela.

Esther snorted. ‘_Patético_.’

‘_Si, esta patético, pero esta mi patético_!’ shouted Nathalie.

Gabriel ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: 
> 
> Bendiga esta familia: Bless this family.
> 
> ‘It's here!’ cried Abuela, raising her hands upwards. ‘Glory to God!’  
Esther’s look of shock quickly dissolved into satisfaction. She crossed her arms. ‘Nice.’  
‘They're together!’ Abuela crossed herself and pressed her hands together. ‘My prayers have been heard!’  
Nathalie groaned and buried her face in Gabriel’s chest.  
‘We want a lot of siblings for the poor boy!’  
Esther’s shoulders shook. Less than a minute later, she was laughing. Really, Abuela, you seem to think Nathalie's going to die a virgin.’  
‘Hell!’ screeched Nathalie. ‘Do you want everyone to know?’  
‘“Hell”? Are you Mexican?’ ['carajo' is traditionally more Mexican use; 'coño' is traditionally used in Spain, according to my dictionary]  
‘Oy!’ shouted Abuela. ‘Careful with your language!’  
‘We're adults!’  
‘Mother of God,’ muttered Gabriel. ‘Good night.’  
‘Wait, chico!’ called Abuela.  
Esther snorted. ‘Pathetic.’  
‘Yes, he's pathetic, but he's my pathetic!’ shouted Nathalie.  
Gabriel ran.


	46. Masters of a Good Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I forgot to mention that I need business/business-related puns (accounting, etc). Currently struggling to come up with a story title for the sequel.

An undisturbed night of sleep is a wonderful thing.

For the two halves of Paris’ Akuma fighting team, it was a special treasure.

With the weirdness of the last two weeks and the catalyst of this evening, Adrien slept especially soundly. Kitten and Kwami slept through the night, no Akumas struck the city, and the promise of a family breakfast made him sleep with a satisfied smile all night.

The pounding of drums was the first sign of trouble that morning.

The screaming of trumpets sent Adrien flailing from his bed, dragging the duvet with him. He clawed his way out and stuck his head out. ‘What’s happening?’

Plagg groaned and buried deeper within the duvet. ‘Nothing good.’

Phantom cried from the tangle of blankets.

Adrien squinted at the clock. ‘It’s seven,’ he groaned, burying his face in the pillow.

A fist pounded on his door. ‘_Buenos dias, chico!_’

Years of training attempted to force Adrien to a standing position. Recent rebellion and freedom resulted in him following Plagg’s example and pulling the duvet over his head. ‘Why?’

The music seemed to get louder. Other instruments and a vocalist joined the trumpets.

‘Adrien!’ called Abuela. ‘It’s time to get up!’

He grumbled.

‘_Niño! Pronto!_’

‘She sounds mad,’ said a muffled Plagg.

‘Mmf.’ Adrien crawled out of his cocoon and forced himself to the door.

Phantom crawled out of the duvet and trotted after him. Her ears pricked forward at the smells creeping through the cracks in the door.

Adrien opened the door. ‘What?’

Abuela gave him A Look. ‘Breakfast is ready. Get dressed while I wake everyone else up.’

‘Good luck with Marinette.’ Adrien rubbed his eyes.

‘She can’t be any worse than a Talia _adolescente_. That girl wouldn’t be up before noon if she had her way.’

Adrien stopped rubbing his eyes. ‘Nathalie isn’t a morning person?’

‘Why do you think she’s addicted to coffee? Be ready in ten minutes.’

Adrien stared as she went to the next bedroom. He shook his head as Abuela pounded on Nathalie’s door.

‘_Te levantes_, _mija!_’

Abuela pounded twice more before opening the door and charging in. ‘_Ya!’_

Adrien crept along the corridor and poked his head around as Abuela smacked the bed.

‘_A la siete_,’ groaned Nathalie, curling up tightly and pulling the duvet over her head.

Abuela rattled something off faster than Adrien could imagine speaking. On hearing Nathalie’s response, she took her slipper off and smacked her granddaughter hard with it.

‘_Oye!_’ Nathalie sat up straight, glaring daggers.

At the sound of a first-rate quarrel brewing, Adrien crept back to his room, the better to look like he had been getting ready the whole time.

Plagg’s muffled snores came from beneath the duvet.

Adrien grabbed the blanket and yanked it away. ‘How can you sleep with this noise?’

‘You get used to it after the first few centuries.’ Plagg yawned and stretched. ‘What’s on today’s menu?’

‘As usual, Camembert.’ Adrien grabbed his dressing gown.

‘Yes, but how much? I’ve been rather badly shaken after this morning’s unrequested early wake-up call.’

Adrien tied the sash of his robe. Gesturing with his comb, he said, ‘You can wait until I’m a little more awake.’

Phantom purred and rubbed against Adrien’s ankles.

‘You, however,’ he picked the kitten up, ‘need to grow so you can be a reasonable weight when we take you to the vet on Monday.’

Phantom squeaked at the rattling of the tin and food. A minute later, she was happily eating. Plagg had been given a wedge of Camembert.

Adrien let them finish before going downstairs.

Esther sat at the dining table and stared blankly at the coffee pot on the table.

‘Morning,’ said Adrien.

She grunted. Last night’s makeup coated her face. Her hair stuck up in weird directions from slept-on industrial hairspray.

A slightly less zombie-fied Nathalie emerged.

Adrien kept his mouth shut. The last time he had seen that look on her face, the employee had chosen termination over Termination Via a Walk Along the Seine.

Nathalie poured two cups of coffee and drank half of one. She said something to Esther in Spanish.

Esther grunted and took the second cup of coffee.

Nathalie sat heavily in her chair.

Adrien rested his chin on his hand and closed his eyes.

Something poked him in the side.

He jumped awake.

‘No sleeping at the table,’ said Abuela. She slid sausages onto his plate and jerked her head at Marinette. ‘You weren’t joking about this one.’

Adrien managed a smile at the sight of His Lady slumped over the table, her face buried in her arms. ‘Is she better or worse than Nathalie?’

‘On par. I’m surprised Talia was able to make it through school.’ Abuela kissed the top of his head.

‘Why are we up so early?’ said Adrien, stomach curling at the heavy breakfast food even as his treacherous mouth watered.

‘We’re going to clean the house,’ said Abuela. ‘The whole house.’

Nathalie rubbed her eyes. ‘We have staff for that.’

‘I’ve seen how this “staff” works,’ said Abuela. ‘Can you properly run this house—?’

Nathalie downed her coffee and poured another. ‘We don’t have enough coffee.’

Abuela tapped Marinette’s back. ‘Sit up straight.’

Marinette groaned and buried her head deeper into her arms.

‘Has anyone seen Father?’ said Adrien.

‘He wasn’t in his bed,’ said Abuela.

Nathalie scowled at the looks from her relatives. ‘He wasn’t in mine, as Abuela can attest to.’ She side-eyed her grandmother.

Abuela turned up her nose and poured Adrien a cup of coffee.

‘Thank, Abuela.’ As Adrien sipped the coffee, realisation dawned. ‘Oh, shit.’

‘What?’

‘Did you check his atelier?’

Nathalie groaned and dragged herself to the atelier in the back of the ground floor.

Adrien ran ahead of her and threw the doors open. ‘Father?’ 

‘I swear—shit.’ Nathalie drained the rest of her coffee and glared at the room.

Paper crunched beneath their feet. Treacherous scraps of thread and fabric littered the floor.

A row of mannequins stood in front of the windows, exhibiting their collection of finished suits and dresses. The colours and lines contrasted sharply with the manicured lawn.

‘How?’ gasped Adrien.

‘I swear, if he’s using cocaine again…’ Nathalie brushed a clump of hair out of her face. ‘Gabriel?’

Adrien sputtered. ‘Father? Cocaine?’

‘Forget I said anything.’ Nathalie went to one side of the room and waved towards the other side. ‘See if you can find him.’

Gabriel crawled out from under the giant worktable. ‘Adrien! Nathalie! Is it breakfast already?’

‘What is the meaning of this?’ Nathalie pulled him to his feet.

‘Thank you.’ Gabriel stretched. ‘I’ve created a new wardrobe for you.’

‘Obviously, but why?’

He touched her face gently. ‘I want everyone—including you—to realise how beautiful you are.’ 

‘Gabriel, I don’t need an all new wardrobe.’ She removed his hand. ‘Did you sleep at all?’

‘This was more important.’

Nathalie pursed her lips.

Adrien said, ‘Father, do you really have to dress her like that? She’s your C.F.O., not a trophy wife!’

‘Do you understand how often I get to design clothing for women with curves?’

Nathalie and Adrien looked at each other.

‘I’m going to guess never?’ said Adrien slowly.

‘Never! I never get to design clothes like these!’ Gabriel continued ranting as he dug through the ankle-deep piles of sketches. ‘And then I have the pleasure of removing them at night—’

Adrien grabbed Nathalie and sprinted out of the office.

They slammed the doors shut, eyes wide in panic and horror.

‘Um?’ said Adrien, back pressed against the door.

‘Breakfast somewhere else?’ said Nathalie.

‘Please!’

~Three Months Later~

Luka sat cross-legged on his bed, eyes closed, lost in the new song he was writing. His smile deepened as the melody grew.

His fingers struck a sour chord at the heavy _thud_ on the roof of the houseboat.

‘Luka?’ called his mother.

‘I’ll check it out!’

Something smacked against his window.

‘Holy Hell!’ Luka jumped back.

The smashed item removed itself and turned right-side up with a sheepish smile. Chat Noir waved shyly.

‘It’s okay, Mom! It’s just Chat Noir.’ Luka opened the window. ‘You could use the door.’

‘Eh-he-he, yeah.’ Chat Noir ran a hand through his hair. ‘I’m in a bit of a bad spot.’

‘Is everything okay? Where’s Ladybug?’

‘It’s, er, not that kind of emergency.’

Something about the way Chat Noir’s shoulders slumped and his hands fiddled seemed familiar.

‘What’s wrong?’ said Luka gently.

Chat Noir growled and pulled at his hair. ‘This is so stupid. My parents are having a baby.’

‘That’s not stupid.’

‘Me panicking is! I begged for a baby sibling and now I’m terrified of messing it up! So I came to the best big brother I could think of.’ Chat Noir got down on one knee and held his hands out in supplication. ‘Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.’

He pressed his fist over his heart and bowed his head. 

Luka chuckled kindly. ‘Come on inside, Adrien.’

Chat Noir’s head jerked up. ‘What? How—Wha—Who’s Adrien?’

‘“Not that dumb, kid”. Besides, there’s only one blond male who can manage to be this dramatic over gaining a sibling and is roughly our ages.’

‘Ladybug’s going to kill me.’

‘I think you’re safe from,’ Luka hesitated, enjoying Adrien’s panic transferring from one thing to another, ‘a young woman—’

Chat Noir shimmied through the window.

‘—with dark hair and large blue eyes—’

The Hero of Paris landed on the floor in an undignified heap.

‘—who Adrien Agreste has been calling “Princess” and “My Lady” both in private and on social media.’

‘Yes, it’s Marinette and I hope you’re willing to protect me when she finds out you figured out our identities.’ Chat Noir slid along the floor and under a pile of blankets. He sat up, a blanket wrapped over his head like a cloak. ‘Now, how do I big brother, O Enlightened One?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish Translations: 
> 
> Buenos dias : Good morning
> 
> Pronto : Now
> 
> Adolescente : Teenager
> 
> te levantes, mija : Get up, my daughter
> 
> a la siete : It's seven [in the morning]
> 
> Oye : Now


	47. Epilogue: August 2016

A message popped up in the corner of Gabriel’s screen.

_Tom and Sabine are here._

He responded before minimising everything on the workstation. He smiled at the background: A picture of Adrien and Nathalie in Hogwarts robes at Harry Potter Studies.

The moment Gabriel removed his noise cancelling headphones, the screams and shouts of teens assaulted his ears.

He opened the office door as one of the teens crashed into it.

Gabriel grabbed the door to keep from falling.

‘Sorry, Mr Agreste!’ Kim immediately rolled to his feet and fired the orange Nerf-brand gun through the open doors. ‘Get back here, Sabrina!’

‘You’ll have to catch me!’ Sabrina ran up the stairs and aimed her Nerf gun at her classmate.

Gabriel stuck his head out to survey the scene.

Adrien erupted from a fort made of what looked to be couch cushions. ‘Hold!’ he yelled, his new baritone voice echoing around the house. ‘Civilian!’

Half a dozen darts flew around the room before the party stood down.

Gabriel gave a wave of thanks and took care to not step on any of the orange darts littering the floor. He glanced around the room.

Luka and Chloe stuck their heads out from behind another couch, their pockets bulging with darts. Three stuck from Chloe’s mouth as she reloaded her weapon.

Kim stood in the middle of the foyer, darts sticking to his sweaty neck and arms.

Even Nathaniel and Juleka peered from a fortress made of a mattress on the mezzanine, their weapons cocked and ready.

Something rattled the chandelier.

Gabriel looked up and saw Alix settling on one of the tall windows.

She grinned and gave a cheeky wave.

As soon as Gabriel closed the dining room doors, the war resumed. 

Tom and Sabine were loading a birthday cake on to the table.

‘Easy,’ said Tom, eyes fixed on the cake.

The cake slid from their hands and across the table.

‘Nicely done!’ Tom fist-bumped his wife.

To Gabriel, Sabine said, ‘Thank you so much for letting us hold Marinette’s birthday party here. I can only imagine what it would have looked like if they tried anything at our house.’ 

A shriek from Kagami echoed through the mansion, followed closely by an ‘Oh, shit!’ from a recently deepened voice.

‘My pleasure,’ said Gabriel. ‘It’s good to see what this house is capable of.’

‘Get back here, you blockhead!’ screamed Alya.

Nino screamed, ‘Dude! What did we say about headshots?’

The adults listened to the sounds of war transfer to another part of the house.

‘I think new curtains and perhaps some rugs would be wise,’ said Gabriel.

‘Agreed,’ said Nathalie, coming in from the kitchen. She handed Sabine an espresso.

‘Thank you,’ said Sabine.

The women clinked their cups together and sipped.

‘How many have you had?’ said Gabriel.

‘It’s my second of the day,’ said Nathalie. ‘I know the doctor’s orders.’

‘Mm.’ Gabriel kissed her and placed a hand on her five-month belly. ‘How are they today?’

‘Extremely excited for some reason.’

Something crashed outside.

‘I can’t imagine what,’ said Tom, moustache twitching with suppressed laughter. ‘Have you decided on names yet?’

Nathalie said, ‘We’ve narrowed it down.’

Gabriel wrapped an arm around her shoulders. ‘She wants to keep the children in ABC order—’

‘And he wants the twins’ names to form a pun,’ said Nathalie, rubbing the top of her head on her husband’s chin.

‘The sad thing,’ said Sabine, ‘is I can this exact conversation playing out between Adrien and Marinette.’

‘Well,’ said Tom slowly.

She laughed. ‘That’s true. I forgot Marinette already picked names out.’

‘What’s that?’ said Gabriel, ears pricking up.

Tom and Sabine glanced at each other.

‘They’re officially dating and it’s his parents,’ said Tom. ‘I don’t see the problem.’

‘And what are parents for except to embarrass their children.’ Sabine grinned. ‘Well, Marinette had the biggest crush on Adrien almost since she met him—’

Gabriel’s heart landed somewhere near his toes. ‘She what?’ he said weakly.

‘—Had names picked out almost immediately,’ said Tom. ‘Emma, Louis, and—what was the third one?’

‘Herbert?’ said Sabine.

‘She liked him this whole time?’ whispered Gabriel.

‘Horatio?’

Nathalie nudged Gabriel and held her hand out. ‘I expect the custom espresso machine by the time the twins arrive.’

‘Hugo!’ Tom laughed and wiped his eyes. ‘Hugo! That’s the third name she picked out.’

‘But yes, Marinette liked Adrien this whole time,’ said Sabine, ignoring Gabriel’s growing distress. ‘It was so obvious, only the blindest of fools could miss it!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Breaking out the metaphorical champagne and sparkling apple cider (non-alcoholic for those who are underage or don't drink for necessity or by choice) because We Made It! None of this would be here without everyone's comments and inspiration. Every time I received an email notification about comments made my day better, so thank you so much everyone! I hope to see you all in the sequel.


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